Knight in Shining Hoodie
by Halawen
Summary: After a night from hell Clare falls into another relationship but is it a good one and who will save her if it's not. A/U story starting at the end of Dead and Gone. Flare story. Misfits friendship. Clare/Bianca friendship Rating it M because I am a gutter bunny. Trigger warning. Fluffy and Dramatic.
1. Do You Want to Know a Secret

**This story is dedicated to my girl Mansavage777 who was the first to request a Flare story, helped me decide which story to do and what to call it.**

**Starts at the end of Dead and Gone. This is a Flare story be patient, it'll take a little while for there to be a Flare.**

**Much like Her Unexpected Hero this will be a mix of fluff and drama, more drama than fluff probably but I will put in as much fluff as I can.**

**For the purpose of this story Jay and Manny never got together.**

**Clare will be in character for the most part.**

**Ch. 1 Do You Want To Know a Secret**

**(CLARE)**

"I'm sorry Clare." Eli said with a sincere tone as he handed me back my phone.

I took it, looking at Jake's text message one last time. "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." I lamented.

I was still reeling from everything that had happened that night, in a matter of a few short hours my mom had announced she and Glen were getting married. I had been so upset I'd walked all the way to prom and hadn't even cared that I'd arrived in my street clothes. When Jake finally had shown up, instead of holding me and telling me he loved me like I'd hoped, he'd broken up with me. Before I could really even process our fight and the end of our relationship, Adam had been shot! Now here I was in the hospital hallway near Adam's beside standing with Eli who I really hadn't spoken with much since he'd come back to school after his plays opening night drama. We had come together for our best friend though, putting aside our past for his sake and I was finding a certain familiar comfort being with Eli as we both worried about our friend. We stood in an awkward silence as each of us searched for something to say until we each felt a hand on our shoulder and looked over to see Audra.

"They're about to take him back to surgery if you two want to see him before he goes. Then you two should go home, you can come back and see him in the morning and thank you for coming with him." Audra told us, her voice was distressed but also relieved and I took that to mean Adam would be okay.

Eli and I walked back to Adam so we could say goodbye, I kissed his cheek and smiled at him reassuringly.

"I'll come back in the morning, your surgery will go just fine. Just hurry up and get better." I insisted to my best friend.

"I will." Adam told me.

"I'll be back in the morning too." Eli said.

Adam smiled and two orderlies began preparing his bed to be wheeled away. I stood there watching until I couldn't see Adam any longer, then I turned and began walking to the exit. Eli walked out behind me, pulling his phone out as soon as we were outside and I heard him asking someone to come pick him up. I pulled out my phone too, walking away from Eli a little. I saw a missed call from my mom on her phone so I called her back.

"Hi Mom." I said when she picked up.

"Clare thank god I heard something happened at prom are you and Jake okay?" Mom questioned in a worried voice.

"Adam was shot, he's going to be okay though, it went through his shoulder. I'm at the hospital with him now. I'm okay just shaken. Jake left early he wasn't even there when it happened. He told me he's going to the cabin for the summer." I inform my mom.

"Thank goodness you're both alright. I hope Adam's okay. You said Jake left for the cabin?" Mom asked with an interesting tone it was sort of curious, happy and mischievous.

"Yes." I replied.

"Well I'm staying at Glen's tonight, do you have a ride home? Will you be okay at the house on your own for the night?" Mom questions.

"Yes Mom." I reply.

"Okay sweetheart tell Adam I hope he's okay and we'll see you tomorrow." Mom says and hangs up.

I put my phone away and walk back to Eli, he's sitting on a bench now near the door and I sit on the opposite end.

"My dad will be here soon if you want a ride home." Eli offers.

"Thanks but my mom's on her way." I lie.

While we forgot everything we'd been through to come together for Adam, the thought of a very silent uncomfortable car ride with Eli is not appealing. I've been through a lot tonight and my brain is still catching up to everything I've been through in the last few hours. Quite frankly a walk home sounds pretty good, I need the time to think. Bullfrog arrives a few minutes later and waves to me when he sees me, I wave back.

"You want us to wait until your mom gets here?" Eli questions and I see his protective instinct hasn't wavered any.

"No she'll be here in a few minutes and I'm right outside of a hospital I'll be fine, thanks though." I smile at him appreciatively.

Eli stands up and waves, getting into his dad's car and I wave as they drive off. As soon as their car is no longer in sight I get up and start walking home. Once I'm away from the hospital, the only sounds I hear are crickets and passing cars. The early June night is slightly breezy and chilled but not cold. There are lots of streetlights and the nearly full moon illuminating the night time streets so I can see very well. It's really quite peaceful and I would be thinking over everything that I'd been through tonight and beginning to process it if not for the fact that my brain couldn't seem to hold a single thought for more than a few seconds.

"_How could they be getting married?! Seeing Adam on the ground in all that blood was the scariest sight! Eli almost seemed happy about the fact that Jake broke up with me. I hope Adam's really okay. How could Jake break up with me!? They've only been dating a couple of months they can't get married! Is it wrong that I enjoyed my time with Eli even though it was under horrible circumstances? I love Jake, at least I thought I did. Adam could have nerve damage in his arm. How could..." _

My jumble of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by a sudden and very loud car horn. I gasped, jumped a little and turned to see the orange two door pulling along side me. The car belonged to Jay Hogart who had been friends with my sister Darcy and was still friends with Darcy's ex-boyfriend Spinner. I relaxed and smiled when I saw it was someone I knew but he was giving me a curious sort of concerned look.

"I thought that was you, had to double back just to be sure. What are you doing walking by yourself at night? Hop in I'll give you a lift home." Jay insists.

"That's okay I can walk." I tell him.

"Get in the car, I'm not letting you walk all the way home by yourself." Jay commands.

I shrug and get in the car, trying to argue with Jay is kinda like trying to argue with a pit bull.

"You okay, you look sad and worried and you seemed pretty lost in thought?" He questions as we begin driving.

"It's been the night from...hell." I say after a second of consideration but if any night seemed right for using profanity it was this one.

"Did sainted Baby Edwards just use a swear word?! I think I might die of shock." Jay mocks and it actually makes me laugh a little.

"I haven't been called Baby Edwards in a long time, I'm not even called St. Clare anymore. I'm not the saintly little girl you knew three years ago." I remark.

He looks me over and smiles. "You are definitely not a little girl anymore." He says with a wink, it was kind of a slimy comment but for some reason it made me blush. "You still live on Maple? He questions.

"Yes but I don't really feel like going home just yet. I don't really have anywhere else to go but I don't want to go home right now." I tell him.

"I could take you to my place, you could even stay the night." He offers.

"That's sweet Jay but..." I start to argue but he cuts me off.

"I have my own apartment you can have the bed, I'll sleep on the sofa. You said you didn't really have anywhere else to go. Besides I want to hear about this night from hell." He remarks.

"You might regret saying that." I laugh a little. Then bite my lip to mull his offer over in my mind. I knew Jay a little, I had spent some time with him but not very much. Most of what I'd heard about him from Darcy wasn't exactly glowing praise. Still I did know him and it was better than going home to an empty house where I spent many hours making out with my now ex-boyfriend and soon to be stepbrother. "If it wouldn't be too much of bother for me to stay the night then that sounds great." I say finally.

"It wouldn't be a bother at all." Jay assures me. "How's Darcy?" He asks after a few minutes of silence.

"Good I guess, we don't hear from her much, even less since our parents divorced. She's still in Africa, she joined the Peace Corp and last I heard she was in Mozambique." I inform him.

"You're parents divorced! When?" He questions.

"It was finalized a few months ago apparently my dad has been cheating on my mom for years. Darcy missed all of it, they didn't even tell her they were separating but my mom did e-mail her when they filed for divorce." I sigh.

He puts his hand on the back of my neck and rubs gently. "I'm really sorry Clare, that sucks. I wish I'd known I could have gotten you out of the house and taken your mind off of things. Helped you through it, when my parents divorced I was angry and spent most of my time as far from my parents as I could." Jay tells me.

"It's okay Eli was pretty good at getting me out of the house." I tell him.

"And Eli would be?" Jay asks with a slightly curious, slightly angry or protective tone.

"My ex-boyfriend he's bipolar, he just found out a few months ago after he went crazy again." I enlighten him as he pulls into a parking garage.

"Crazy again?" He questions parking in a space and turning off the car.

"That was a little harsh it wasn't his fault really," I say as we get out of the car and start walking to some elevators, "it was his bipolar disorder screwing with his brain but I broke up with him after he intentionally crashed his car to get me to come see him again." I tell Jay as we get in the elevator.

The elevator goes to the fourth floor and stops and I follow Jay down the hall to his apartment, number 4G.

"Home sweet home," He says slightly sardonically as he unlocks the door and flicks on a light. "It's nothing special but it's home."

The apartment is a pretty decent size, not very clean but I really didn't expect it to be. There's an open galley style kitchen to the left with a breakfast bar. To the right is a living room area, consisting of only a sofa, coffee table and a giant TV. Rather than a dining room table there is a poker table with six chairs and empty beer cans on it. This is definitely a bachelors apartment, straight ahead I see a washroom, it doesn't look very big but I see all the essentials, dimly lit by the living room light. Behind the dining room or should I say poker room I see another open door way to the bedroom. I can see dirty clothes on the floor and a window but not much else from here. I step into the apartment and Jay locks the door behind us.

"You want something to drink?" He offers. "I've got water, beer, soda and some left over strawberry daiquiri mix." He says.

"Water would be..." I start and then stop rethinking my decision, it's been a night of firsts and I've already used profanity why not try my first sip of alcohol. "Could I have a daiquiri?" I request.

"Sure." He shrugs.

He gets out a beer for himself and pours some bright pink slush into a cup for me, sticking a straw in it before handing it to me. We go and sit on the sofa, he sits back and puts one arm on the arm rest and his other on the back of the sofa. I sit in the opposite corner of the sofa, my feet on the floor, slightly hunched forward with my arms on my lap.

"So tell me about this night from hell." He requests.

"Well it started when my mom and I were having dinner with my boyfriend Jake and his dad Glen, who has been dating my mom for the last three months. Anyway at the dinner our parents announced they were getting married! I didn't take the news very well," I pause to sip at my daiquiri, at first it tastes like a strawberry milkshake and then the strong burn of alcohol hits me and I shudder slightly but still take another sip. "Actually I didn't take the news well at all. I kinda threw a fit and stormed out of the house, walking all the way to prom in my street clothes."

I stop and suck in a big gulp of the daiquiri, the alcohol start to hit me and I turn on the sofa sitting to face Jay, leaning back against the arm rest and curling my to my side.

"When Jake finally got to prom, instead of holding me and telling me he loved me and would fight for me, he told me he was putting his fathers happiness first and broke up with me! It sounds really pathetic and selfish when I say it out loud but I was really hurt by it. I thought I loved him! I thought he loved me but apparently I was wrong." I confess to Jay. I suck down the last of my daiquiri and hold my glass out to him. "Can I have another one?" I ask.

"Sure," he laughs a little, "but that should probably be your last one. I'd hate for you to add getting sick with a hangover to your night from hell."

He gets up, goes to the kitchen and returns a minute later handing me a full glass.

"Thanks," I smile.

"Sure, so I'm guessing there's more to your night than your mom announcing she was getting married and your boyfriend breaking up with you." Jay says as he sits down again.

"Well after Jake broke with me and he left prom, this guy showed up and got into a fight with Drew." I pause to take another sip. "Drew kicked his butt and then this guy pulled out a gun and just fired a few shots randomly." I pause again to take another sip. "Drew was fine but Adam who happens to not only be Drew's younger brother but my best friend, he got shot!"

I stop to take another sip and wipe the tears that are at the corners of my eyes. Jay takes my hand and squeezes it gently.

"He was lying on the floor and crying out and pain and there was so much blood! It was so scary! I thought I was going to watch my best friend die!" More tears come and I stop to wipe them away and take another sip of my drink.

Jay moves closer to me, putting one arm around me, his hand stroking the back of my neck, his other hand resting on my leg.

"Is you're friend okay?" He asks.

"He'll be okay, the bullet went through his shoulder. Eli and I, oh yeah Eli is his other best friend, anyway we rode with Adam to the hospital and he was conscious and talking and everything when we left. Still after everything else I'd been through tonight seeing Adam lying on the floor in all that blood..." my sentence trails off as I take a shuddering breath so I won't cry again.

"Well I'd say that rates as a terrible night, definitely up there on the scale of worst nights ever." Jay comments.

"K.C. left me for Jenna because I still believed in waiting until marriage to have sex. Eli crashed his car just to get me to see him again and Jake decided he didn't even care enough to fight or be around me all summer so he left for their cabin until the wedding. What is it about me that either drives guys away or drives them crazy. Am I that awful?" I ask but not really expecting an answer.

I don't exactly get one either not with words anyway, he leans forwards and kisses me. Normally my intellectual self would have taken over and I would have begun over analyzing the kiss, starting with the fact that he's almost seven years older than I am. However be it the alcohol or just the stacked up emotions of the night I don't think about the kiss at all just disappear into it. His lips are gently caressing mine, his tongue strokes my bottom lip and I open my mouth allowing his tongue to play with mine. My hand not holding my drink instinctually moves to the back of his head and begins clutching at the short hairs at the back of his neck. After a couple minutes he pulls away from me smiling and I can't help but smile back and feel myself blush.

**(JAY)**

I pull away from kissing Clare and she's blushing, it's very cute and it's been a while since I kissed a girl who blushes after I kiss her.

"You are anything but awful, you're beautiful and sexy." I tell her and her cheeks go more red and she bites her lip which is hot!

"You really think I'm pretty?" She questions.

"Gorgeous and any guy who wouldn't fight for you to the death has to be the biggest idiot in history." I assure her.

She smiles and looks at her drink finishing it off as I begin running my fingers through her hair. Last time I saw her she was as rail thin as her sister, really young and mousy with long hair she usually wore braided and glasses. But now she's incredibly hot, way hotter than Darcy! If Spin saw her he might have a heart attack. She lost the glasses so her amazing blue eyes are even brighter and she cut her hair making her look a little older than I know she is. Best of all she filled out, I mean really filled out. She has the most luscious curves, a nice round ass that I saw as she was walking before I picked her up and my favorite thing nice big soft titties. She's quite for a long time just staring into her empty glass and I'm beginning to worry she's getting uncomfortable. Then she puts her glass down on the coffee table, turns to me and mashes her lips to mine. I grab her waist and pull her onto my lap, her arms come around my neck as she parts her lips and I deepen the kiss. I know she's only sixteen and a tiny part of my brain tells me this is very wrong but I tell it to shut the hell up. Suddenly she pulls away with a shocked and slightly guilty look on her face.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry that was wrong," she exclaims nervously as she get off my lap and I feel hurt by this comment, I must look it too because she softens her expression. "No I mean the kiss was great, amazing just I haven't exactly had the best night and I'm pretty sure I'm drunk and I was upset and I shouldn't have just kissed you it was wrong."

"I didn't mind you can kiss me whenever you like." I tell her.

She smiles and bites her lip again. "I think I should go to bed now. I'll take the sofa though I'm not going to kick you out of you're bed."

**(CLARE)**

I yawn and stretch nuzzling my head into the soft pillow some more as I snuggle into the warm comforter and then I realize I'm not in my bed, I gasp and sit bolt upright, my eyes shooting open. I look around the room, my head is pounding and my memory a little foggy.

"Where the hell am I?" I whisper into the empty room.

There's a closet filled with guys clothes, the bedding is dark blue and the white walls are broken up by posters of cars and scantily clad girls. I'm definitely in a guys room, I'd swear it was Drew's but I've seen his room and it's bigger and cleaner than this. Then I remember Jay picked me up and brought me to his apartment so I didn't have to go home, I had liquor and...

"Oh my god I kissed Jay!" I shriek in a panic to his empty room and then hope that he's not in the living room to hear my minor freak out.

I get out of the bed slowly as I try to remember exactly what happened last night. As I stand up it dawns on me that I'm not dressed any longer, not in my clothes anyway but I am wearing Jay's shirt.

"What the hell did I do last night?!" I whisper in case he is in the living room.

Being upright doesn't help my headache, I look around for my clothes and find them on the other side of the bed. I lock the bedroom door and change back into my clothes, putting his shirt in the laundry basket. When I leave the bedroom I see the rest of the apartment is empty, there's also a note on the breakfast counter with a bottle of aspirin. The note says he had to go to work and just to lock the handle when I leave and there's water in the fridge so I can take the aspirin. He ends the note by saying he'll call me after work and includes his phone number. Finding my purse on the sofa where I left it I put his number in, dispense a couple of aspirin and swallow it without water.

It's not even eight yet so I know I can't go see Adam at the hospital until nine but I want to see him first thing just to know he's truly okay. Jay's apartment is only a few blocks from the Dot so I decide to go there first as I am in desperate need of coffee and hopefully the fresh air will help my head and clear up my memory. I lock the door as I leave and do enjoy my walk in the cool early summer morning, it does do some good for my headache but not my memory. I remember Jay kissing me and enjoying it and everything after that goes kind of fuzzy. While I was wearing my panties and bra this morning under his shirt I still worry that I got so drunk I did something I shouldn't have.

"Hey Clare." Fitz smiles at me as I enter the Dot. The he furrows his brow a bit when I sit down at the counter. "You okay? You look...hungover." He says the lost word with extreme hesitation and a dubious tone.

"Pretty sure I am, lots of coffee please." I request sort of slumping down at the counter.

He sets a large coffee in front of me with the cream carton and sugar dispenser and I pick my head up opening my purse to pay, he puts a hand on my arm and I look up at him.

"That's okay it's on me." He says.

"Thanks Fitz that's sweet of you." I smile.

"No problem. I heard about Adam is he okay?" Fitz inquires as I put cream and sugar in my coffee.

"The bullet went through his shoulder he's okay, I mean he was conscious and everything when I left the hospital last night but it was still really scary. He may still have some nerve damage or something to his arm, I should actually start walking over there, visiting hours start at nine." I tell him taking note of the time.

"Why don't you finish your coffee and I'll give you a ride over." Fitz suggests as he puts the cream and sugar away.

"That's really nice of you but I can't ask you to do that and you have to work." I counter.

"You're not asking I'm offering and I have a break in a few minutes. Really it's no trouble, besides I remember what hangovers are like." He laughs.

I smile, bite my lip and think about it for a second. "Okay that would be great."

"Great!" He smiles widely, I don't think I've ever seen him really truly smile, it lights up his whole face.

I finish my coffee and when I'm done Fitz tells Jack, the other person working today, that he's going on break. We exit the Dot and walk across the street to his car, it's an old mustang, I know nothing about cars but I'd say it's from sometime in the 80's. It's black and red, with peeling paint, two doors and cracked leather seats.

"It's kind of a wreck but it's all mine." He says as he opens my door for me.

"No it's nice and at least you have a car, I don't have a car at all and Mom almost never lets me drive hers." I remark as he gets in and we start driving to the hospital.

"How come Jake isn't taking you to the hospital and why'd he let you get drunk at prom?" Fitz inquires.

"I didn't get drunk at prom, Jake did however break up with me at prom right before Adam got shot." I inform him.

"Wow that sucks, why'd Jake break up with you? I can't imagine why anyone would ever break up with you." He comments and I smile at the compliment.

"Our parents are getting married in two months, he's about to be my stepbrother." I educate him.

"Oh," he laughs, "I guess that could do it."

We arrive at the hospital and he pulls right up to the doors.

"Thanks for the ride Fitz." I say gratefully.

"It was nothing. Tell Adam...no maybe you better not, he probably doesn't want my get well wishes." Fitz frowns, his tone picking up an edge of sadness and he looks down.

I put my hand on his shoulder and he looks at me again. "Fitz we all forgave you, even Eli. I'm sure Adam will appreciate the sentiment."

He smiles once more, I thank him once again for the ride and get out of the car walking into the hospital.

**(ADAM)**

Mom left to call Dad about getting a lawyer or two for Bianca and she starts apologizing to me.

"I am so sorry Adam, I never thought Vince would go so far. Well no that's not true but I never thought you'd get hurt because of it." She atones.

"No it's my fault, I provoked him. He never would have been at prom if I hadn't confronted him." My brother confesses.

"But I..." Bianca starts again and I cut her off.

"Guys stop this is Vince's fault he brought the gun intending for someone to get hurt. The doctor said I'd be okay after a couple months of physical therapy." I insist to them.

"Well that's good news." Says the soft voice of my best girl friend from the doorway.

Bianca, Drew and Katie all move back from my bed so Clare can get to me. She walks in with a sad sort of smile but she also seems kind of distressed and confused or anxious. When she gets closer I see that her eyes are blood shot.

"I got you a bear," she says nervously handing me a little black stuffed bear with a sling on one arm, "sorry it's stupid." She apologizes sitting down on the bed next to me.

"No it's cute." I smile at her and she smiles back.

"How do you feel?" She asks.

"Well they have me on a morphine drip so I feel awesome." I tell her and she laughs a bit.

"Fitz says he hopes you get better soon." She tells me, I scrunch my eyebrows together wondering when she was talking to Fitz about me. She shakes her head a little and quickly explains. "I went to the Dot for coffee he had heard about prom and asked if you were okay."

"Are you okay? You look sad and confused and..." I pause unsure of what I'm seeing in her face.

Bianca leans over from the other side of my bed and studies Clare's face a second. "Hungover." She says and even Drew and Katie stop talking, the idea that Clare was drunk is shocking to all of us.

"Jake broke up with me at prom last night because our parents are getting married in a couple of months. They announced it during dinner and I got so upset I left and walked to prom in my street clothes." She informs us.

"Geez you trying to outdo me for worst night?" I joke and she smiles.

"Speaking of your clothes, aren't those the clothes you were wearing last night at prom?" Katie asks.

"Yes they are." Bianca nods with a curious yet devilish smile.

"I didn't go home to change yet, I wanted to be sure Adam was okay." She informs us.

"Wait so then where did you spend the night?" I inquire and we're all looking at her awaiting an answer.

She bites her lip nervously and looks at her hands. "Somewhere safe." She tells me but she doesn't really sound like she believes the words as they leave her mouth.

"Clare?" I say sternly, normally Eli is the friend I worry about but Clare is acting weird.

She looks up at me and smiles. "Alli's, I spent the night at Alli's. I should go though...home to change. I'll be back later, heal quick Adam." She says rapidly in an anxious voice, pecks my cheek, hops off my bed and all but runs for the door.

I watch the doorway for a minute, as do Drew, Katie and Bianca; after a minute I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and they all look at me.

"Okay I really don't know Clare but that was weird right?" Bianca questions.

"I do know her a little and that was weird, that wasn't like Clare at all." Drew says.

"I worked on the newspaper with Clare all semester and I have never seen her that nervous or frazzled." Katie comments.

"That was very weird, I've never seen her like that. She was hiding something from me, she's never hidden anything from me, she usually confides in me." I comment. I would have kept talking but we heard a high pitched voice burst into the room.

"Adam oh god are you okay?! Sav told me when I was packing for science camp and I told him we had to come down and see you right away before we go to DeGrassi to pick up my laptop from Miss Oh. Are you okay? Tell me you're okay." Alli demands pushing Drew out of the way to get to me.

"I'm okay Alli, the bullet went straight through my shoulder. I won't be able to use it for a couple of weeks and I'll have to do physical therapy for a couple of months but then I'll be fine." I assure her and then look at Sav who followed his sister in. "Hey Sav."

"Hey, glad you're okay." He replies.

"Wait Sav told you so then Clare didn't sleep at your house last night?" Bianca asks.

Alli turns to her with a puzzled expression. "No I haven't seen Clare since Friday."

"Why'd you think Clare slept at our house last night?" Sav questions Bianca.

"Because that's where she told us she was." I tell them.

Now Alli looks worried again. "Why would she tell you she was at my house?" Alli asks.

"No idea but she showed up here in the clothes she was wearing last night and said that she'd spent the night at your house." Drew tells them.

"If she'd spent the night at my house she would have borrowed clothes. Where was she last night, I'm going to call her and find out." Alli says in a determined tone.

"You'll have to do it from the car we have to get going Alli." Sav tells her.

"You had better be all better when I get back from camp." Alli insists and then she and Sav leave.

"Okay if she didn't sleep at Alli's and didn't go home where did Clare spend the night?" Drew inquires to no one in particular. "Do you think she stayed at Eli's?" He asks.

"Not likely and she would have told me if she'd slept at Eli's." I say.

"Hey." Eli greets from the door and we all fall silent and look at him. He walks in the room coming next to me and gives everyone a bewildered look since we're all looking at him. "Feeling better?" He asks me, sitting right where Clare was sitting a short time ago.

"The morphine kind of stops me from feeling anything." I tell him.

"Yeah morphine's great for that umm why are they all staring at me?" Eli inquires.

"Just wondering if Clare spent the night at your house." Bianca blurts out.

Eli crinkles his forehead in surprise and confusion. "Last I saw Clare she was waiting for her mom to pick her up as my dad and I drove away last night. Why would you think she slept at my house?" He questions.

"She was just here in the clothes she was wearing last night and said she hadn't yet gone home to change. She told us she spent the night at Alli's but Sav and Alli were just here and they said she didn't. She also looked hungover." Bianca tells him.

Eli looks astonished and he's speechless for a minute. "Well she wasn't at my place but if she didn't go home and didn't sleep at Alli's or your house where else would she have gone? Her only other female friend is Jenna and she lives at Alli's house. Jake broke up with her last night and he went to his cabin until their parents wedding, so she wasn't with him." Eli states.

"She told us about Jake, I'm more worried about where she spent the night, she was really nervous when she was telling us." I inform him.

"Nervous?" Eli questioned.

"Very nervous before she told us she spent the night at Alli's she told us she was just somewhere safe." I tell him.

"Huh." Is all he says.

**Update soon with some more of Fitz, Alli and Jay and probably Adam and Eli too.**

**If you submitted a story request to me, please know it is on my list (yes I have an actual list) and I have not forgotten about you. However I can only write so many stories at once, also I want to make the stories good for you guys so I don't want to start the story until I have enough plot bunnies to make the story at least  10 chapters but more if I can. If however you are just dying for something with the pairing you your requested PM me and I can easily crack out a short story (1-5 chapters) for you as I continue to develop plot bunnies for a longer story.**


	2. Birthday!

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANSAVAGE777!**

**Ch. 2 Birthday! **

**(CLARE)**

I was almost half way home from the hospital when my phone rang, I pulled it from my purse to see it was Alli calling. I'm not in the mood to talk but I figure Sav told her about Adam and she is my best friend who's about to leave for the summer so I answer.

"Hey Alli."

"Where did you sleep last night? Why'd you tell everyone you were at my house? Did you sleep at Jake's last night? Tell me you didn't sleep with Jake!" Alli demands and I can hear Sav in the background.

"Alli calm down Jake broke up with me last night because our parents are getting married so I didn't sleep at his house." I inform her.

I hear her relaying what I just said to Sav before she speaks into the phone again. "Then where were you last night and why'd you tell everyone you were at my house?" She inquires.

"I was somewhere safe Alli don't worry about it. Shouldn't you be on your way to the airport?" I ask.

"We just pulled up to DeGrassi I have to go get my laptop but you never answered my question." She points out.

Alli's never met Jay and I'm fairly certain Sav hasn't either so I could just say I slept at Jay's, there's two problems with telling her. Number one my best girl friend will continue asking questions until she finds out everything and then well she'd freak out I'm certain of that. Number two Jay is a guy's name and if she, and probably Sav found out I slept at a guy's house for the night they would kill me or him or both. Also Alli would tell Adam and Eli would find out and let's not even get into the age difference. No I decide it's better if no one knows anything.

"I was somewhere safe Alli, go have fun at science camp and I'll see you in eight weeks, you'll get back just in time for my mom's wedding. You can do my hair and makeup." I entice her.

"Fine but I better hear everything when I get back. I'll e-mail you from camp." She says.

We say goodbye and hang up just as the Dot comes into view, which is good because I could use some more coffee. I go in and Fitz gives me a big smile as I sit back at the counter.

"Must be my lucky day for the lovely Clare Edwards to grace me with her presence twice in one morning." Fitz comments.

I smile and blush a little. "Hey Fitz I need more coffee, medium this time, to go so I can drink it while I walk home." I request.

He pours the coffee and I put money on the counter just to be sure he won't pay again. He puts it in a large cup so I can put lots of cream and sugar in just the way I like and rings it up.

"Take a hot shower or bath and a nap if you can it'll help." Fitz advises.

"Thanks Fitz." I smile.

I fix my coffee the way I like it and wave to Fitz as I leave. I finish the coffee by the time I reach my house and my mom isn't home yet, so after tossing my cup in the kitchen trash I decide to take Fitz's advice and take a long hot shower. The shower feels good and I don't really want to get out but the water starts getting cold, when I get out I feel fairly tired actually and decide to lie down and see if I can take a nap. I guess I did fall asleep because I'm woken up sometime later by loud noises in the room next door, the room used to be my parents home office but ever since Dad moved out it's really been more storage than anything else. I get up with a yawn and go out to the hallway to see what's going on. I see Mom and Glen, moving out boxes and generally cleaning up.

"What are you guys doing?" I ask groggily.

"Oh sweetie it was so quiet I didn't realize you were home." Mom says, turning to look at me in the doorway. "We're cleaning out this room to move Jake's stuff in." Mom informs me.

"Oh." Is all I can say as the idea that the boy I thought I loved is soon to be my stepbrother and will be on the other side of the wall from me is repugnant to me just now.

"Would you like to help?" Mom asks.

"No I took a nap after waking up early to see Adam at the hospital and now I'm hungry for lunch." I excuse myself, having no desire to help move in my ex-boyfriend/future stepbrother.

"How is Adam sweetie?" Mom inquires.

"He'll be fine." I reply as I turn and start walking downstairs.

I'm not really all that hungry but my body does feel like it needs food, so after looking in the fridge and the pantry for several minutes and a little internal debate I decide on toast and orange juice. Just as I sit down to eat Mom comes down and sits at the table with me, with that look that tells me we're about to have a heart to heart.

"Clare I know finding out that Glen and I are getting married was a shock and I'm sorry my relationship had to lead to the end of yours but I'm in love with Glen and I feel a way that I haven't felt in a very long time. I really think we're going to be a good family, there will be a period of adjustment of course but Glen really cares about us both. So please Clare for my sake try and adjust to having a stepfather and having Jake as your stepbrother. It's probably good that he went to the cabin for the summer it will give you some time to getting used to having Glen here. We're going to be moving his stuff in tomorrow. We're getting married here at the house; it will be small just very close friends and family. Jake is going to be Glen's best man and I was hoping you would be my maid of honor?" Mom asks.

"_Awesome then Jake and I can dance awkwardly at the wedding." _I sigh in my head.

"Of course Mom I'd be happy to." I say forcing a smile across my face.

"Wonderful, would you like to help me start planning, even a small wedding is a lot of work." Mom says.

"Gee that sounds great Mom really and I really am happy for you and Glen but I just don't think I'm going to have the time. I mean Adam gets out of the hospital tomorrow and his Mom asked me to come over and help get things ready. Then he won't be able to use that arm for the next few weeks so I promised to come over every day to help out. Plus Jenna is lonely with Alli gone for the summer and things still tense with K.C. so I promised her we'd hang out a lot. Connor and Wesley are building a robot for this fighting competition and asked me to help. So you know I'm just swamped, in fact I am late already to meet Jenna at the mall, be home tonight." I tell her getting up from the table and putting my dishes in the sink.

I run upstairs, grab my purse and my phone, slip my flats on at the door and rush out. Okay so none of what I told my mom was necessarily true but I'm not even comfortable with this wedding yet and she wants me to help her plan! It wasn't necessarily a complete lie either I mean I'm sure I will be over every day to visit Adam and he will need help because I know he won't be able to use his arm for a while. Jenna really will be without Alli all summer and Sav is leaving for university so she's bound to get lonely. I actually have no clue what Connor and Wesley's plans are this summer but I can use the excuse to get me out of the house.

I consider going to the Dot again since for some reason talking to Fitz about this whole mess actually sounds appealing but I figure I've bothered him enough for one day so I head for the park. I find an empty bench under a tree and sit down, sort of mindlessly people watching as my brain begins to sort through things. I really am happy for Mom and Glen and I really do want them to be happy but did their happiness have to come at the cost of mine and Jake's? It doesn't seem fair! Okay I know that sounds horridly selfish but I thought I loved Jake and he loved me. The more I think about it the more I'm sure I never loved Jake and he never loved me.

Glen is a great guy and he makes my mom really happy and I'm sure eventually I'll be okay with this whole wedding and new family thing. Right now it just seems like so much so soon. I guess my parents have had long time problems in their marriage but from my point of view it's all new. It feels like Dad just moved out and he kind of did, it was only six months ago. He moved in with that woman and I hardly see him anymore and now Mom's in a new relationship and I hardly see her anymore and her new relationship brought about the end of my old one. I sit on the bench for a long time, I'm so lost in my head I don't realize how long I've been sitting there until I hear my phone ring and see the time. Jay is calling and I consider not answering considering I still don't remember what happened last night but I really would like to know.

"Hi Jay." I greet trying to keep any anxiousness out of my voice.

"Hey where are you?" He asks and I can hear that he's driving.

"The park, I had to get out of the house for a bit." I tell him.

"Cool be there in five." He says and hangs up before I can say anything else.

A few minutes later I see his car pull up to the curb and I go over, standing near the driver's side window.

"Get in we'll go to dinner." He insists motioning for me to get in the car.

"I don't think I should." I reply as this sounds like a date.

He puts on a sad puppy dog face, changing his normally tough exterior to appear vulnerable. "Come on, it's my birthday come celebrate with me." He pleads.

"It's really your birthday?" I question.

He shifts around and pulls his wallet out taking out his license to show me and sure enough it is actually his birthday.

"Okay but wouldn't you rather spend your birthday out with your friends instead of having dinner with a kid?" I query.

Now he grimaces at me. "You are not a kid Clare and I don't have that many friends besides I could go drinking with them any day. It's my birthday and I want to spend it with you. You aren't going to deny me my birthday wish are you?" He pleads.

I laugh a little and get in the car; once I'm buckled we start driving and end up at this sort of dive Italian restaurant. The few windows on the building are covered by thick dark curtains so you really can't see in. The interior is painted to look like a sort of old Tuscan villa and there are fake grapes and old style wine bottles everywhere. It's also dimly lit and all I see are couples sitting together in small horseshoe booths. The host picks up to menus and seats us in a back booth. The booth could seat four people, I sit at one side and Jay scoots into the center, actually a little past the center more to my side. We're brought bread with oil and vinegar for dipping and then our waiter tells us the specials and takes our drink order. Our waiter brings our drinks a short while later and takes our order, as I've hardly eaten all day I find that I'm actually quite hungry.

"So how's your friend?" Jay asks when the waiter leaves.

"He'll be okay, he won't be able to use the arm for a while and he'll have to have physical therapy after that but there was no nerve damage or anything." I inform him.

"That's good, could have been a lot worse. What about you?" He asks getting a little closer to me and grazing the back of his fingers against my cheek as he pushes a curl behind my ear. "You had a lot to deal with last night, feel any better today?" He inquires.

"I don't know, a little I guess. I'm relieved Adam's going to be okay but I'm still pretty upset about Jake. My mom and Glen are moving all of his and Jake's stuff into the house already. I had to get out of the house earlier because they were turning what used to be my parents office into Jake's room and it's right next to mine. I'm happy for my mom I really am but this whole thing is just…a lot. Honestly I don't want to go home and see Jake's room there and ready for him but empty because he ran away from me to the cabin all summer." I complain to Jay.

"So don't go home, you can sleep at my place again." He offers.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea." I respond as I take a sip of my Italian soda.

"Why not, you wouldn't have to sleep at you're place." He points out.

"What exactly happened last night?" I question. "The last clear memory I have is us kissing and then the next thing I knew I was waking up in your bed, wearing your shirt." I tell him.

He kind of laughs and shakes his head. "Nothing happened did you think I raped you or something?"

Now I laugh as I twirl the purity ring on my finger. "Well no but how did I end up in your bed in your shirt?" I inquire.

"After you kissed me you said you should get to bed. You didn't have anything to sleep in so I leant you a shirt. You were starting to feel a little sick so I gave you my bed but I worried since you've never been drunk before. I slept in there with you just to be sure you were okay; all we did is sleep though. You passed out almost the second your head hit the pillow. You're still wearing your purity ring aren't you?" He asks reaching over and taking my hand with the ring on it.

"Yeah sorry, I just couldn't remember anything after the kiss and it was a little discombobulating waking up in a strange bed in a guy's shirt." I apologize.

"Yeah alcohol will do that. You did have kind of a lot pretty quickly for your first time; it's a miracle you didn't vomit. So how 'bout it, wanna stay at my place again?" He asks.

I roll my lip between my teeth and look at my hands, one of which he's still holding, while I ponder his invitation. I really have no desire to go home right now; it doesn't exactly feel like my home anymore, it kind of feels like it's being invaded. The only other place I could really stay the night is with Jenna at Alli's but I don't really feel like talking about Jake or the wedding to Jenna or hearing about K.C. and Tyson and besides the Bhandari's are getting ready to take Sav to university in a couple of days.

"You sure you don't mind?" I question a little timidly.

"Not at all." He assures me, releasing my hand but putting his arm on the back of the booth and sort of draping his hand onto my shoulder.

The rest of dinner is filled with eating and small talk. I give him the whole story of my parent's divorce, what little news I do have of Darcy and the changes at DeGrassi with the uniforms and everything. I just leave out the part where Eli, Fitz and I contributed to that change. He tells me about his job as a mechanic and that the only people he still talks to are Spinner and Emma, who are now married and living in Ottawa, and Sean Cameron who I never met but did hear Darcy mention once or twice. When the bill comes, I reach over to take it after all it is his birthday but he grabs it from my hands.

"It's your birthday you shouldn't pay." I argue trying to take the bill back from him but he holds it above my head.

"I'm paying, I'm the one with the job and anyway what I wanted was to spend my birthday with you and I got that." He smiles kissing my cheek.

I stop trying to fight for the bill as I find myself blushing. After he signs the check and we get to go boxes since there was so much food, we get back in his car and start driving to his place. I realize I better tell my mom something as to where I'll be tonight so I call the house and leave a message that I'm sleeping over with Jenna.

"You know it's your birthday and you never got dessert at the dinner." I remark as we're nearly at his apartment building.

"You're right." He says, stopping at a corner market.

We go in and he picks out a small chocolate birthday cake. After some argument he does let me pay for the cake and I hold it on my lap as we drive to his place. He unlocks his door and I set my purse on the sofa but as he has no table I set the cake on the kitchen counter and start looking for a knife to cut it with.

He comes behind me, putting one hand on the counter on one side of me and opening the drawer on the other side of me. He's extremely close and has me sort of trapped between him and the counter in this position and my breathing hitches. "Knives are here." He says breathing the words against my neck, sending a wave of gooseflesh up my neck and a tremble down my body.

"Thanks." I reply a little nervously.

He backs up and moves his arms so I can move. I hear him getting out two plates as I pull out a knife, open the box and cut the cake.

"You want something to drink I got some daiquiri mix left." He offers.

"I think I've had enough alcohol for a while." I reply.

He looks in the fridge for a minute, pulls out a carton of milk and sniffs it before looking at the expiration date. "How 'bout some milk, it's still good." He says.

"Milk would be fine." I tell him.

I grab the plates he got down and put a piece of cake on each one. He pours a glass of milk for me and grabs himself a beer. Beer and chocolate cake sounds awful to me, then again beer alone sounds awful to me. The only apparent place to eat is the sofa at the coffee table and that's where he heads with our drinks so I follow him, he sits down next to me and puts on the TV and we start eating. The movie he found on TV is a romantic comedy from the eighties, which is fine what isn't so fine is that the male lead reminds me of Jake and a pang of hurt shoots through my chest and I must show it.

"You still pining over that idiot that left you?" He asks.

"Sorry. It's just that guy remind me of Jake." I tell him after swallowing my last bite of cake.

"You know the best and fastest way to get over an ex-boyfriend don't you?" He asks.

"No." I shake my head.

He catches my chin turns me to face him and grabs my lips with his. The kiss manages to be forceful and commanding but soft and tender at the same time.

"Get another boyfriend." He tells me after he pulls away smiling.

"Okay but we can't…" I start to argue and he kisses me again, leaning me a little more toward the back corner of the sofa this time.

"Why not?" He asks when he pulls away but he doesn't move away this time his face stays only a few inches from mine.

"Because you turned 23 today and I'm…" once again he cuts me off with a kiss.

This time I find myself responding, my hands going to his shoulders and kissing him back with a little more passion. My relationship with Jake was my most physical to date, it never went past making out but we made out a lot. Mostly because that's kind of the only level we connected on, we didn't share any interests or anything intellectual. Eli and I did connect on an intellectual level but we also kissed a lot. K.C. and I well, I was young and had very strict beliefs back then, not so much anymore but K.C. wanted more and that's why he left me for Jenna. I've also kissed Wesley and Liam so I have fair basis of comparison and the way Jay is kissing me is far different than any other kiss I've had. I don't know if better is the right word but certainly more passionate, there's a sort of wanting need behind his kiss I've never felt and much as I hate to admit it I'm melting into it, into him.

"Age is irrelevant. You've always been more mature than your age and now you look it; anyone that didn't know you were sixteen would never guess it. I on the other hand am clearly less mature than my years." He argues.

"And a half, I'm sixteen and a half." I clarify.

"My bad can't forget those six months, there's a lot of experience in those six months." He laughs and kisses me again.

I don't know what it is about him or his kisses but I cease to think when his lips are on mine. He's practically on top of me at this point; he seems to read my mind as he begins to move away but takes me by the hips and moves me with him so that I end up on his lap. I don't fight or pull away or push him off, it's like I can't it's like he's taken away my will power as long as he's touching me. My hands move from his shoulders to the back of his neck and our lips don't part until we are both in need of air. He looks at me; I blush, smile, bite my lip and look away, his hands have moved from my waist to my lower back.

"So what do you say? Be my girlfriend and leave that Jake jerk in the dust. When he comes back at the end of the summer you'll show him that you didn't miss him at all. And you'd have your own place to go to when things got to be too much at home. You can come here anytime you like and sleep over as much as you want, I'll give you my spare key." He entices.

**(JAY)**

She rolls her lip between her teeth as she seems to be thinking about my offer. She's awfully deep in thought and doesn't seem to notice, or care that my hands have started roaming up her back.

"One problem, it's illegal." She counters.

"Only if people find out how old you are so we just won't tell anyone. It makes the relationship that much hotter if it's secret." I tell her pushing a curl behind her ear and then tracing my finger down her face and her neck to her chest. "You'll have your own secret sanctuary with a secret boyfriend that finds you incredibly sexy and beautiful." I bait her.

She releases her lip a little and slowly slides her arms along my shoulders to get closer to me. I know I've caught her when she touches her lips to mine. I tighten my grip on her, moving her a little closer to me on my lap. She pulls away after just a few seconds and bites her lip again briefly.

"One more thing," she says looking at me a little nervously and bringing her hand with her chastity ring on it in front of my eyes; Darcy had one of those damn things too. "I may not hold to same belief of waiting until marriage but I'm not ready for sex yet." She informs me.

Darcy told me she was going to wait for marriage and I almost got her to sleep with Spinner. I figure it won't be long before I convince her she is ready for sex. Rather than try and respond with some corny line that she might be able to tell is cheesy and fake I just kiss her again. Given the heat and almost desperation that she's kissing me with I really don't think it'll be to long before I get her to have sex. For now though I can feel myself getting turned on making out with her on my lap and if I don't want her to change her mind I better stop this. I gently pull her off my lap and set her on the sofa next to me.

"I should clean up." I use as my excuse grabbing our plates and walking to the kitchen.

"Umm could I borrow a shirt to sleep in again?" She requests as I rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

"Yeah sure, just grab one from my closet. There should be a new toothbrush in the washroom somewhere." I tell her.

She disappears into my bedroom and I grab her glass from the table. I rinse the glass and as I'm putting it in the dishwasher she comes out of the bedroom in one of my shirts. She looks so fucking hot in my shirt and I watch her until she disappears behind the washroom door. When she comes out again I'm sitting on the sofa watching TV again at some point during our kissing the movie ended and now the news is on so I flip channels until I find something watchable. She stands in the doorway, biting her lip and wringing the shirt in her hands nervously. I pat the sofa next to me and she sits down, I put my arm around her and pull down the throw blanket to cover her legs.

She starts to get sleepy and lays her head on my chest. Pretty soon she's asleep so I turn off the TV and pick her up carrying her into the bedroom. My bed is still unmade so I just lay her down; she stirs a little but doesn't wake up. God she looks sexy lying there asleep in my shirt, I want to touch her so badly but I'm not going to rape her. I go into the washroom and masturbate to visions of Clare dancing in my head. Then brush my teeth and go back to the bedroom closing the bedroom door I strip down and change into clean boxers and get in the bed covering us both with the comforter and soon I'm asleep.

**(CLARE)**

I'm woken up at some ungodly hour by a garbage truck in back of the apartment building. I sit up, blinking my eyes as I should not be awake yet, I yawn and stretch a little looking around. Jay isn't in the bed but I hear the shower on so I get up and get dressed while I have some privacy. I hear the water turn off just as I finish dressing and then I hear the door open. I'm putting his shirt in the hamper in his closet when his arm comes around my waist, he pulls me to him and I can feel that he's still wet and in nothing but a towel and my breathing hitches.

"Morning Beautiful," he says before kissing my cheek.

"Morning." I breathe out, releasing the breath that I'd caught in my throat.

He lets go of me and I move away from his closet, he goes into it and starts getting out clothes. Knowing he's about to change I go out to the living room.

"The spare key to my apartment is on a hook in the hall closet, take that so you can come over whenever." He calls out to me.

I go to the closet and open the door on the inside of the door is a hook with a key so that must be it. I take the key down and close the closet door just in time to see Jay changing in his bedroom; I probably should have shut the door when I came out. I feel my cheeks get red and turn around quickly. Going to my purse and pulling out my key ring I put his key on it. Now that I've slept on it, this relationship seems like a bad idea I mean he's almost seven years older than me! It's illegal and I can't tell anyone they would all flip!

"Thanks, I'm gonna walk down to the Dot for breakfast before I go see Adam." I call back.

He comes out of the bedroom in jeans and socks but no shirt and I hate to admit this but the sight of him with no shirt on is more appealing than the sight of Jake shirtless. He makes it to me in a few short strides and grabs my waist pulling me to him and crushing our lips together. All my thoughts and good sense go right out the window, my hand comes to his shoulder and I kiss him back and this relationship seems like the best idea ever.

"Hang on a minute Babe I'll drop you off on my way to work." He tells me.

"It's not that far, I can walk. I don't want you to be late for work." I contend.

He takes one hand from my waist and cups my chin, holding with what feels like just a bit too much force. "I won't be late and I don't want you walking if I'm around to drive you." He says and then kisses me again, god what is it about the way that he kisses me that makes me melt? He pulls away and lets go of my chin but keeps his other hand on my waist. "Stay right here I'll be out in a minute." He commands.

He turns, goes back into the bedroom and I lean against the back of the sofa. He comes out a couple minutes later completely dressed, puts his arm around my shoulders and we walk out. He locks the door and we go down to the garage and get in his car.

"You should probably park up the street a bit; I probably know some of the people in there." I advise as we approach the Dot.

"Good thinking." He smiles pulling around to the back alley to let me out.

"Thanks for the ride Jay." I smile, putting my hand on the door handle to get out.

"Anytime Babe, sorry I gotta work today but I'm off tomorrow." He informs me putting his hand behind my head and bringing me in for another kiss. "I'll call you when I'm off work." He says.

I nod, get out of the car and wave as he drives off before I go in. It's not even eight yet so the café is pretty empty since it's a summer Monday morning. I sit down at a table in the far corner and sort of slump down onto it. I'm still conflicted about dating Jay, I shouldn't be this conflicted I mean he had a point age doesn't mean that much. Eli and Jake are both older than me, by about a year and not seven but still.

"Who was that?" Fitz inquires as he sits down in the seat across from me.

"Who?" I shoot back.

"The guy that dropped you off in the orange beater, the one that looked at least five years older than you. Who is he?" Fitz questions again.

"He's…an old friend, he knew my sister. He saw me walking and offered me a ride that's all." I tell Fitz, it's not a lie…exactly; although the fact that I have to lie about Jay being my boyfriend sends a wave of doubt through me about this whole relationship.

Fitz studies me a minute and then relaxes. "You don't look hungover this morning so what can I get for you?" He asks.

"Vanilla latte and a muffin please, thanks Fitz." I tell him.

He smiles and gets up from the table, going to the counter. I know exactly how much this is going to cost so I put the money on the table. Fitz comes back a minute later setting my order on the table and taking the money. He returns a minute later and sits down again.

"So how's Adam? I forgot to ask yesterday when you came back but you seemed tired and sort of…nervous or something." He says.

"He'll be fine, he'll have to do physical therapy for a while but by school his arm should be back to normal. I passed along you're get well wishes he appreciated them. I was gonna go see him when I left here but I think he might be getting released today. I'll text his phone if he doesn't reply then I can assume he's still in the hospital and I need to go there." I remark pulling my phone from my purse and sending a text to Adam.

**Clare: Hey you home yet?**

Several minutes go by and just as I'm thinking he must still be in the hospital my phone announces that I have a text. I pull it out and look at the text, it is from Adam's phone but it's not from Adam.

**Adam: It's Drew, he gets released at ten. You can come down to the hospital and help us bring him home if you want. Mom says it's cool and I'm sure Adam would like it.**

Well that answers my question, I text back that of course I'll help and I'll be at the hospital in a little bit.

"He gets released today but I need to head to the hospital when I'm done. Then I'll help Drew and his mom get him home." I inform Fitz.

"I'll give you a ride again; I've got a break at nine." He says.

I just smile as I'm sure trying to argue would be pointless. Fitz smiles back and gets up from the table to get back to work. I finish my breakfast and Fitz clears the table when I'm done. He tells the other waiter that just arrived that he's going on break and escorts me out to his car, we get in and he starts driving to the hospital.

"You okay? You look deep in thought." Fitz says after a minute.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and smile at him. "Sorry I was deep in thought. Not very good company am I?" I apologize.

"You want to talk about it?" He offers.

"Have you ever…" I catch myself about to ask a boy who used to have a crush on me and possibly still might if he's ever dated anyone much older than him. He looks at me expectantly and I know I better say something. "How did you feel when your mom got re-married?" I recover.

"I didn't like it but I don't remember my real dad. My stepdads okay but my stepbrothers a jerk. You don't have to worry about that though right? I mean Jake seems like an okay guy, not mean or nothin' even if he is your ex." Fitz comments.

"No Jake is very nice; it's one of the things that first attracted me to him." Fitz pulls up to the hospital so our conversation ends. "Thanks for the ride again Fitz." I say reaching over and hugging him and on impulse I kiss his cheek.

This act seems to surprise him because he jumps a bit but then relaxes with a great big smile. "No problem really, I'm happy to do it. Am I going to keep up my lucky streak and see you for breakfast tomorrow too?" He asks as I start getting out of the car.

"You just might." I smile.

I walk to the doors of the hospital, turn and wave to Fitz and he drives off and I go in to see Adam.

**Update soon from right here.**

**The birthday dinner was inspired by the fact that Mansavage777's birthday is today! **


	3. White Lies

**Pretty long get comfy**

**Ch. 3 White Lies**

**(ADAM)**

I was in the washroom of my hospital room getting dressed to go home. Drew was helping me because I couldn't use my left my arm, which was bandaged and in a sling. Have you any idea how awkward it is to be a sixteen year old FTM and need your older brother to help get you dressed? Drew was good about though, even putting on my chest bindings he never said a thing and having him do it was definitely better than having my mom do it. I felt a million times better being dressed and out of that hospital gown, when I opened the door to my hospital room again Clare was there sitting on my bed. She looked deep in thought or kind of worried but she gave me one of her sweet smiles when she saw me.

"You look a lot better." She says standing and kissing my cheek. "Hey Drew." She greets my brother as he follows me out of the washroom.

"You still look nervous, you gonna tell us where you spent the night after prom now?" I question her.

"So what can I do to help?" She asks turning away from me and avoiding my question.

I catch her arm and turn her back to me. "Clare?" I interrogate her.

She's biting her lip nervously and avoiding looking at me in the eye.

"You didn't sleep at Fitz's house did you?" Drew asks.

She gives Drew a look and kind of laughs. "I don't even know where Fitz lives. I told you I saw him in the Dot when I stopped in for coffee. Why does it matter so much where I spent the night?" She questions.

"Because you're my best friend and I care about you." I tell her.

"Adam I was somewhere safe alright." She insists.

"Somewhere safe doesn't…" I start but am interrupted when my mom comes in the room followed by a nurse with a wheelchair.

"Okay I signed your discharge papers let's get you home. Hi Clare thanks for coming. Adam you need to be wheeled out, I'm going to go pull the car around. Drew make sure we have all of your brothers things." Mom instructs and then leaves the room.

"I'll help you Drew." Clare says as I sit in the wheelchair.

The fact that Clare is skirting the subject so much makes me think she's hiding something. I drop it for now but somewhere safe doesn't tell me anything. When we finally get home half an hour later Mom tells me to go lie down.

"Mom I'm not an invalid, the doctor said I just couldn't use this arm." I argue since I've been lying in a hospital bed for the last 36 hours and I don't want to lie around all day.

"No arguments Adam the doctor also said for you to take it easy." Mom says sternly.

"Come on Adam." Clare says tugging at my sleeve so I'll move.

My bed is of course made and Clare props up my pillows and fluffs them for me so I slip off my shoes and lounge back on my bed. She sits on the edge just as Drew comes in followed by Mom.

"I have to get to work honey but Drew and Clare are here and Bianca's on her way over to help. If anything happens call me at work." Mom insists as she hugs me carefully and kisses me.

"I'll be fine Mom." I assure her.

"Okay take care of your brother Andrew. I'll be home a little after five." Mom instructs.

She hugs Drew and Clare and then leaves.

"Can I get you a glass of water or anything?" Clare offers.

"You can tell me where you slept Saturday night." I persist.

"Oh god Adam not this again, I already told you I was safe." She sighs in exasperation and I catch her rolling her eyes.

"Yeah but you didn't sleep here and you didn't sleep at Alli's or Eli's or Fitz's thank god and Jenna lives with Alli now so where'd you sleep?" I inquire.

"Adam I was safe that's all you need to know and that's all you're getting from me." She insists.

I scowl at her but give up, Clare is notoriously stubborn. I hear the doorbell ring and Drew runs down to get it.

**(CLARE)**

I'd been hanging out in Adam's room with him, Drew and Bianca for a couple of hours now. Mostly they talked and I sat on the edge of Adam's bed, the less I took part in the conversation the more I thought and the more thinking I did the more my thoughts turned to Jay and the fact that someone older than my sister was now my boyfriend! Secret boyfriend since if anyone found out our age difference he could be arrested. Having to hide your boyfriend is a bad thing right? I mean it feels like a bad thing now that he's not with me and I'm thinking logically. Yet I still remember what it feels like when I'm with him and I want to feel that again.

"Clare." Adam calls to me but I'm so caught up in this internal debate in my mind I hardly hear him. "Clare," he calls again and this time to make sure I listen he smacks my back softly with one of his pillows.

"Huh sorry I was thinking about Ja…Jake." I catch myself about to say Jay and correct myself to say Jake. It's a really really good thing their names are similar.

Adam has his brow furrowed and Drew and Bianca are giving me a curious look.

"Forget him the idiot dumped you." Bianca insists and I smile at her.

"I was going to order pizza for lunch do you want some?" Drew asks.

"Oh yeah thanks pizza sounds good. Umm I'm going to use the washroom." I say quickly getting up, grabbing my purse and walking to Adam and Drew's washroom.

I splash some water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. Part of me wants to call Jay and tell him I can't do this and another slightly bigger part wants him here holding and kissing me. I am so confused! I have never been so confused in any other relationship or with any other guy for that matter. That's a bad sign right? I leave the washroom and just before I reach the door to Adam's room my phone tells me I have a text. I pull the phone from my purse and it's a text message from Jay.

**Jay: Hey Babe just wanted to say I miss you. See you tonight.**

He even ends it with one of those kissy face emoticons and I smile. Now all I want is for him to kiss me again. At least until an arm comes around my shoulders and I gasp.

"Ooh who's Jay?" Bianca inquires.

I close the text and put my phone back in my purse; thank goodness I don't have his picture saved to his contact let alone on my phone at all.

"Nobody." I insist anxiously as I shrug her arm off and walk back into Adam's room.

"Nobody's don't usually call you Babe." Bianca counters as she follows me in.

Whatever conversation Adam and Drew were having stops entirely as they both freeze and look over at us.

"Who called her Babe?" Adam inquires as I opt to lean on his desk instead of sitting on his bed again.

"Some guy named Jay sent her a text and called her Babe. I believe it said he missed her and it had a kissing emoticon at the end." Bianca shrugs.

I look down and bite my lip nervously as I know the question about to leave Adam's mouth.

"Who is Jay?" Yep that's the one and he asks it in exactly the tone I thought he would.

"He's umm…we're umm…" I mumble.

"Spit it out Clare." Adam demands.

"He's my boyfriend." I finally say.

"Since when?" Adam questions.

"Since last night." I confess.

"Geez girl you move fast Jake dumps you and you've got another boyfriend the next day." Bianca comments.

"I can't think of anyone named Jay that goes to DeGrassi." Drew remarks.

"Neither can I." Adam agrees.

"He doesn't go to our school." I tell them. _"Or any school because he's 23 and works as a mechanic but he did go to DeGrassi a few years ago." _I add silently.

"So where'd you meet him, the hospital?" Adam inquires.

"No." I shake my head. "He's actually an old friend, I've known him for years and we ran into each other Saturday night." I tell them which is the truth, I'm just omitting some details.

"So when do we get to meet him then?" Adam asks.

Now I look up at Adam. "You want to meet him? Why?" I question.

"Because you're important to me and I want to meet your new boyfriend." Adam says with a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes.

"I…I don't think that's a good idea I mean you guys have nothing in common. He likes cars and…" I start to ramble.

"I like cars." Drew comments and I shoot him a look.

"I have to go. I'll come by tomorrow Adam." I say quickly and start moving for the door.

"Drew stop her!" Adam commands.

Suddenly Drew is in front of me blocking the doorway; sheesh he's fast must be from football.

"Clare why don't you want us to meet him? Are you ashamed of him? Is he just some random guy you met off the street for a rebound?" Adam questions.

I turn around to face Adam. "No Adam of course not. I'm not ashamed of him and I already told you I've known him for years. Since I was twelve we just kind of lost touch and I ran into him Saturday night and we reconnected." I tell them and it's all true I just don't mention he was almost nineteen at the time we met.

Adam opens his mouth to talk but Bianca beats him to it.

"Wait so you ran into him after leaving the hospital then so did you sleep at his house?" She asks.

Adam's giving me a sort of half curious half scolding look and I shake my head.

"No I didn't sleep at his house." I tell them. _"Technically I slept in his apartment not house so it's not lying."_

"So why can't I meet him then?" Adam asks.

"I…I just don't think it's a good idea Adam. You guys would have nothing in common and I don't want my best friend and boyfriend to be fighting." Is what I say.

"_Because he's 23 and he looks it and you'd kill me or him or both of us." _Is what goes through my head.

"Clare…" Adam starts but is cut off by yelling on the stairs.

"HEY YOU HOME? DOOR WAS UNLOCKED!" Eli yells as he runs up the stairs.

He appears at the doorway a few seconds later and Drew moves out of the way so he can come in and I see my escape.

"I should really go. Hi Eli, Bye Eli." I say moving between him and Drew and slipping out of the doorway.

"What was that about?" I hear Eli ask as I descend the stairs.

"She has a new boyfriend and she won't…" I don't hear the rest of what Adam says as I reach the front door and leave the house.

I practically run all the way home and make it my house in just under five minutes, a record from Adam's house on foot. Home should be your sanctuary right? That place you go to feel comfortable, safe, secure and at ease. Yet when I open the door all I see is boxes everywhere marked with Glen or Jake's names and I get tense. I go up to my room and lock my door laying down on my bed in a huff.

"_Lying to your best friend and his brother and his brother's ex-girlfriend who I barely know is a bad thing. It can't be good that I get so nervous when someone asks me questions about Jay. I should break up with him just call his phone and tell him it won't work. Yes I know that's that I should do, so why can't I stop thinking about him kissing me and holding me?" _

I hear noises coming from my mom's room now and I know Mom and Glen must be home and I hope to god they're unpacking in there and not doing something else. My stomach growls to remind me that I ran out of Adam's house before the pizza came. I don't want to leave the solace of my room as it feels like the rest of my house and life is being invaded. The second I open my door my mom's door opens and they both appear with smiles on their faces.

"Oh sweetie your home do you want to help us take a load of stuff to storage?" Mom asks.

Why is she so insistent on having me help with things? Like it's going to suddenly make me be okay with everything if I'm participating.

"Actually I just came home to grab something got to go meet Wes and Connor. Probably staying for dinner and I'll get a ride home." I tell her as I grab my purse, wave to her and Glen and leave the house.

Since home isn't much of a sanctuary now and I can't go back to Adam's without being interrogated. I find myself drawn to the Dot, it's funny but talking to Fitz has been oddly comforting these last couple of days. It's just after one in the afternoon so he should be working still, even if he's not I do still need to eat, my stomach reminds me as it grumbles again. The walk only takes a couple of minutes and I smile when I see Fitz behind the counter. He smiles back at me as I walk in and sit at one of the high tables near the window.

"Back so soon? I think you just can't stay away from me." He jokes.

"I just couldn't be at home anymore and I like it here. Plus I'm starving since I haven't eaten since this morning." I tell him.

"So what'll be?" He asks.

I order, her writes it down and goes back to work but he looks over at me and smiles every couple of minutes and every time he does I smile back. He brings me my food when it's ready and I start eating and not long after he comes and sits at the table with me, a glass of lemonade in front of him.

"I opened this morning I'm off now." He explains and I smile. "So what's going on at home?" He inquires.

"I don't want to talk about it here." I tell him.

He grabs a to go box from behind the counter and puts our drinks in plastic cups with lids and straws. Then he offers me his arm, I link my arm through his and we go out to his car, he opens the door for me and I get in. Once we're both in and buckled he starts driving and I resume eating my sandwich by the time he parks I'm done and I toss my trash in a garbage bin as he takes me down a trail into a wooded area. Before Fitz went away to juvie I never would have followed him into an isolated area like this. He's been different ever since he got out though and even though we really haven't spent much time together outside of the Dot I find that I do trust him. We walk a few minutes and end up at a clearing near a stream, there's a swing hanging from a tree branch and a large rock. It's very beautiful and serene and I smile, he motions for me to sit on the swing so I do and he sits on the large rock.

"Where are we?" I query.

He points up into the woods behind me. "The ravine is about a ten minute hike through the trees there. Owen and I found this place at the beginning of the school year, we'd come here to cut class sometimes when the ravine was too full or we just wanted to get away. We put up the swing ourselves; it was a lot more fun when we were drunk." He kind of laughs. "The only other person we ever brought out here was Bianca. Owen doesn't come to the ravine anymore he put all his aggression into sports. I don't either but I still come here sometimes just to get away or think in a quiet spot." Fitz confesses to me.

He's so vulnerable and honest and almost deep this is a side of Mark Fitzgerald I have never seen before. It's really sweet and I find that I like it.

"Well I'm honored to be shown the secret spot." I smile.

"So tell me what's so bad at home you just had to get out?" Fitz requests.

"Well you remember I told you Jake broke up with me because our parents are getting married?" I ask and he nods. "Well Jake ran away to the cabin for the summer but his dad and my mom are moving all of their stuff into our house. They're turning the room next to mine into Jake's room. I really am happy for my mom and Glen is a good guy but my house seems like its being invaded. I feel like my Dad just moved out and now they're moving in. I don't know it just doesn't feel like home anymore. Do I sound like the most horrible selfish person ever?" I question as saying it out loud makes it sound stupidly pathetic.

"No it's normal to feel that way. That's how I felt, I'm sure that's how most kids feel. It won't always feel that way but if you don't want to be at home you don't have to be. I'm usually working in the mornings and you know I love to see you come into the Dot." He smiles and I can't help but smile and blush.

"It's going to be so awkward when Jake comes home just in time for the wedding. I mean it's not like when K.C. and I or Eli and me broke up and it was awkward to see each other at school he's going to be sleeping in the room next mine." I whine. _"At least I can always go to Jay's if it's awful and I'm sure it will be."_

"Yeah that will be pretty awkward. I can't relate to that, I mean my stepbrother and me never got along to begin with so we did our best to avoid each other from the start." He tells me.

We hang out for about an hour and he spends most of it telling me stupid jokes to get me to laugh or pushing me on the swing. I could have stayed for hours but Fitz had been awake since very early since he openend so I could tell he was getting tired.

"I should probably go and you need to get home and rest." I insist to him.

"I am pretty tired but I don't mind hanging out for a while longer if you want too." He shrugs as he pushes the swing again.

When I come back down I stop the swing with my feet and turn to look at him. "You should get home Mark your tired." I insist and he laughs. "What?" I inquire.

"You called me Mark, even my family and teachers call me Fitz." He says.

"I did?" I query thinking back on what I said and then I smile. "Guess I did, sorry." I apologize I hadn't even realized I'd used his first name it just slipped out.

"It's okay I just never liked that name. Alright come on I'll take you home." He says offering me his hand and I take it.

We walk back out to his car and he starts driving to my house. "Actually could you drop me off here?" I request when we turn down the block on which Jay's apartment is located.

"Here?" Fitz questions looking around the street.

"Yeah my friend lives just up the block in the apartment building there." I tell him pointing to Jay's apartment building, deciding I'd rather be there than at home, actually I'd much rather be there than home.

Fitz pulls over across from the apartment building and looks at it dubiously. "Who do you know that lives here?" He questions.

"K.C." I lie.

Why I feel the need to lie to Fitz I'm not sure. It's not like he would know who Jay is or anything but I'm even lying to Fitz about him.

"Should I come in with you?" He asks.

"No that's okay. I just want to talk to K.C. for a bit, I'll get home before dark or call my mom to pick me up." I tell him.

"You can always call me if you need a lift, I'll give you my number." Fitz offers.

"That's sweet of you Fitz." I smile. I pull out my phone and he tells me his number and I enter it. "Thanks Fitz and thanks for this afternoon and the ride." I say and kiss his cheek, he blushes.

I've never made a boy blush before, well except for Wes but almost anything makes him blush so that doesn't count.

I get out of the car and wave to him after I cross the street, he smiles, waves and drives away. The front entrance to Jay's building is secure and you need a gate code which he never gave me and it's only a little past four meaning he's still at work and I doubt he'll answer his phone. I wait a few minutes until a car goes into the parking garage and I follow it in and walk to the elevator. I ride it up to the fourth floor and use my key to unlock the door. Setting my purse by the door and sitting on the sofa I turn on the TV, after flipping a few channels I find a vampire movie. I do feel kind of like I'm invading Jay's space now but he did say it was okay. I hear a key in the lock a short while later and l look over to the door; he opens it and smiles at me.

"Hey beautiful." He greets dumping his keys, phone and wallet on the side table.

"Hi I hope you don't mind that I'm here I just didn't want to go home." I tell him.

"Babe I told you to come over whenever you wanted that's why I gave you a key." He tells me coming up to the back of the sofa and putting his hands on my shoulders. "Oh yeah I heard about you and your thing for vampires. That's fine I can be a sexy brooding vampire too." He says as he sees the movie I'm watching and then lightly nips at my neck.

"Agh! Jay!" I squeal.

He laughs a little and kisses my neck which makes me tremble. "You sleeping over again?" He asks.

"I don't think I should, I slept here the last two nights. I should probably get home soon." I say.

Suddenly he leaps over the back of the sofa and lands next to me. Faster than I can think his hand goes to my lower back and he leans me back against the arm of the sofa. He leans over me, my hands kind of automatically go to his shoulders and his lips are on mine before I can even take a breath. If we could always be doing this I'd be fine, I wouldn't have any doubts about our relationship or our age difference but we can't of course.

"Come on Babe I don't have to work tomorrow." He pleads.

"I know but what am I going to tell my mom and I've been here the last two nights." I protest mostly because I'm afraid of how my good sense and how my logical brain just seems to disappear when he's around me.

"I like having you here." He says kissing my clavicle and my breathing hitches. "Just tell your mom," he pauses to kiss my chest a little lower and I bit my lip as my body trembles, "you're sleeping at one of your girlfriend's houses." He says and kisses a little lower than his last kiss.

I push him away a bit as I'm beginning to get nervous; he seems to sense this and sits up pulling me up with him.

"I don't know Jay I told her last night I was sleeping over at Jenna's she might not let me." I argue.

I want to stay and I want to run at the same time and it's a very confusing internal conflict.

"At least try," he says caressing my cheek lightly. "I'll tell you what you call your mom and see if she'll let you spend the night and I'll order us some dinner." He says giving me this look with his eyes.

I'm not sure how to describe the look but it's almost like he really is a vampire and he's using his mind control power on me because I melt, I shiver and cease to think.

"Okay." I nod.

He smiles and kisses me softly before getting off the couch. I get up and get my phone from my purse to call my mom, going to the bedroom and closing the door so she doesn't hear Jay.

"Clare, I thought you'd be by home by now. Glen and I were just about to go out and grab some dinner; we've been moving and unpacking all day. Do you want to join us?" She asks hesitantly meaning she really doesn't want me to come.

"Actually mom I'm at Adam's and Mrs. Torres invited me to stay for dinner. For the night infact, in the guest room of course." I lie to her.

"I don't know Clare spending the night at a boy's house." She says in a scolding tone.

"Mom it isn't a boys house it's Adam's he's my best friend and you know how strict Mrs. Torres is." I contend.

My mom's silent for a minute and then seems to discuss it with Glen. "Alright Clare but I want you home by dinner tomorrow and you better sleep in the guest room." Mom says finally.

"Goodbye Mom." I huff in annoyance, roll my eyes and hang up.

I leave the bedroom and Jay is sitting on the sofa again.

"I ordered Chinese I hope that's okay?" He asks as I sit on the sofa next to him.

"That's fine. My mom said it was okay, not that she knows I'm sleeping here, I told her I was sleeping at Adam's." I tell him.

He smiles and then it falls into a bit of a scowl. "Your friend that was hurt? Have you spent the night at his house before?" Jay asks in an odd harsh tone.

"No are you crazy my mom doesn't let me sleep at boy's houses but I figured it might work. Adam's mom is pretty strict and Adam is my best friend and she knows that's all we'll ever be. Why do you look angry?" I question.

"I just don't want my girlfriend sleeping at other guys houses." He says putting an arm around me.

"The only guy's house I've ever slept at is yours and you can't be jealous of Adam he's my best friend Jay. I only see him as a best friend, besides I only told my mom that so I could sleep here. I couldn't very well tell her I was sleeping here could I?" I point out.

"Just as long as you know you belong to me." Jay says tightening his hold while taking my hand.

He doesn't wait for an answer just kisses me again and then we watch the rest of the movie before the food comes.

**(JAY)**

I lock the door behind the delivery guy and see Clare trying to reach the glasses on the top shelf. She starts to climb on the counter and I rush over picking her up by the hips and lifting her so she can reach. She gets down a glass and I set her down again.

"Thanks." She giggles.

"How did Darcy get to be tall and super skinny and you grew up to be short and voluptuous?" I question, she looks down and bites her lip self-consciously. I tilt her chin up, pull her lip from her teeth and kiss her hard and passionately. "You are a million times more beautiful and sexy than your sister." I assure her when our lips part.

"I am?" She blushes.

"Absolutely." I affirm and she smiles.

I get down plates, a beer from the fridge and walk over to the couch with the bags of food. She pours herself some water and gets out silverware and napkins before joining me on the couch.

"You need a table." She remarks.

"I have a table." I say pointing to the table in the dining room.

"That's for poker, I mean for eating." She replies.

"That's what this is for." I say pointing to the coffee table and she giggles.

We eat and watch another movie on TV. When we're done eating I put my arm around her so she'll lean on me and she does.

"You mind if I shower?" She asks when the movie ends.

"Of course not Babe." I say.

She goes into the washroom and closes the door and a minute later I hear the shower come on. I get up, pick up the trash and toss it and then rinse our dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Then I go to see how she's doing in the washroom.

"JAY!" She shrieks when I open the washroom door, the lock on my washroom door has always been broken and I've never seen a need to fix it.

"What?" I laugh.

"Get out I'm in the shower!" She demands.

"So? You're my girlfriend and anyway it's not like I can see you behind the curtain. Stop being so modest, you're all sexy and hot you have no reason to be modest." I tell her.

"You still shouldn't just burst into the washroom like that." She scolds.

"Sorry, you need anything?" I ask.

"No I'm good," she says and I start to leave, "wait I need a shirt to sleep in."

I smile as I love the sight of her in my shirts. "I'll grab one and hang it on the door." I tell her.

"Thanks." She calls.

I go into my bedroom and pull out a plain white t-shirt, hang it on the towel hook on the inside of the washroom door and close it to give her some privacy. I sit back on the sofa and find a basketball game on TV. A short time later I hear the water turn off and it's several more minutes before she comes out of the washroom. She looks so hot in my shirt, even though she's wearing her bra still. Her hair is still wet and dripping a little over her shoulders, I want so badly to just jump her.

"Sports." She remarks with a disgusted look.

"You want to put something else on?" I offer holding out the remote.

She walks over and I slowly move the remote away from her, until she's standing in front of me and I'm holding the remote out behind me.

"Jay." She says putting one hand on her hip, she's so innocently hot I love it.

"What? Come and get it." I challenge.

She twists her mouth at me but still puts her knees on the couch and straddles my lap leaning over to grab the remote, her beautiful breasts are right in front of my eyes and to keep myself from grabbing them I grab her lips with mine instead. After a few seconds of playing with her lips and coaxing her tongue with mine she seems to forget about the remote, her hands come down on my shoulders and she sits on my lap kissing me back. I drop the remote behind me and grab her waist with my hands, she's moving on my lap, sort of bouncing a little and it's getting me really horny really fast.

Fuck I want to fuck her so bad. I need to move off the couch or she's going to feel how hard I'm getting and she's going to get scared and stop making out with me and I just can't have that. I lift her up while I stand but keep kissing her and to my delight she doesn't stop kissing me and wraps her legs around my waist. My apartment isn't very big and I can find my room and my bed in a drunken stupor so finding it while kissing Clare is easy. I manage to lay her on the bed and kneel over her without ever breaking form the kiss but when my hand goes up the shirt she sucks in a breath and breaks from the kiss herself.

"Jay," she says softly but nervously.

"We won't have sex I know you're not ready for that." I assure her. _"God I wish she was though. I want so badly to take her. Patience Jay she'll get her there. She just needs time and encouragement." _I have to calm myself in my head because I am so ready to jump her bones.

"I'm not really…That is I've never done anything but make out." She confesses timidly.

"You mean you've had how many boyfriends and none of them ever had the privilege of doing anything more than kiss you?" I question.

If she'd been my high school girlfriend we would have gone sooo much farther than making out.

"I've only had three boyfriends and no." She tells me.

"Trust me Clare. You are so fuckin' sexy I just can't help myself. I'm not asking you to fuck me just let me touch you a little." I entice in my most lulling voice I can.

She's a sixteen year old girl I know she's got sexual needs and urges. So just to convince her because I'm going to go crazy if I don't touch her, I start trailing open mouth kisses along her neck and jaw. I hear her breathing hitch a little and my hand goes up the shirt again lightly grazing over her stomach.

"O…okay but just stay above the waist okay?" She requests in a nervous and timid tone.

I look up and smile at her before softly kissing her. "Trust me."

I sit her up a little and pull my shirt over her head, then reach back and unhook her bra with one hand. She bites her lip and looks down like she's ashamed and when I pull her bra off of her she clutches her arms over her chest. I lay her back down and gently grab her arm.

"Clare stop looking ashamed, you're gorgeous, amazingly sexy. Trust me okay, I know it'll feel good for you." I sooth her.

She still looks kind of nervous and scared but she relaxes her arms a little and allows me to pull them away from her chest. I kiss her wrists gently before putting her arms at her sides. God her breasts are beautiful, big, plump, pearly white with the perkiest nipples, the kind of breasts that women pay big money to have, the kind of breasts you see in playboy. The sight of them kind of makes me lose control and I grasp one and take her nipple in my mouth. She gasps, I feel her clutch at the sheets and her back arches a little. I swirl the nipple with my tongue, find her other breast with my free hand and squeeze them both, gently tweaking her other nipple with my fingers. She gasps again and then I hear her moan just a tiny little one but it's all it takes for me, I'm about to explode. Asking her to take care of me would probably send her running from the apartment just now and I don't want that. I release her breasts and crush my lips to hers quickly.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." I tell her before walking quickly to washroom.

**(CLARE)**

After a fitful night I woke up just before five. Jay is sleeping like a rock next to me and I very slowly leave the bed so as not to wake him. Tiptoeing out of the room and slowly closing the door behind me I go to the washroom and change back into my clothes. Before I go I leave a note for Jay on the fridge.

**Jay-**

**Woke up early and went home to change. Going to see Adam after, will call you later.**

**-Clare**

I actually do go home and change, slipping in quiet as a mouse and out quiet as a mouse but as it's not even six yet I can't go to Adam's. I hope Fitz is opening the Dot today. I walk quickly and get there at a quarter to six and the Dot opens at six but Fitz is working and he sees me through the door. He gives me a worried look but comes over and unlocks the door pulling me inside.

"Clare what are you doing here so early? Are you okay?" He inquires walking me to the counter and motioning for me to sit down.

"I'm okay I just couldn't sleep and I was hoping you'd be working." I tell him and he smiles.

"Yeah?" He asks and I nod. "I gotta finish getting the café ready to open do you want something? It's on me again." He offers.

"The usual please but I can pay." I tell him reaching into my purse but he reaches over the counter and grabs my hand and I look at him again.

"I got it, after all you're keeping me company while I open I don't usually have such good company or any company while I open." He tells me and I smile now. "One vanilla latte and one muffin coming up." He says.

He gives me my muffin and makes my coffee for me and I watch him as he finishes his opening duties. At precisely six he unlocks the door again and there's a small rush of adults on their way to work I sip at my coffee and nibble my muffin and just sort of watch him. He's really busy as the only waiter currently on duty but he does look over at me and smile every few minutes and I always smile back. Around seven there's a lull and he leans on the counter across from me.

"You sure everything's okay? Why couldn't you sleep?" He queries.

"Everything's fine it's just ummm…" I pause biting my lip briefly, "can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure, anything." He shrugs.

"How old you were you the first time…when you lost your virginity?" I ask.

He looks a little shocked and then knits his eyebrows together. "Clare you didn't…" he starts but I cut him off.

"No Fitz I didn't, look still wearing my purity ring." I assure him showing him my hand.

"Good, you scared me. This shouldn't leave your finger until you're really ready." He says kissing the ring lightly and I quiver a little. "I was younger than you but I had no sense back then. I was on a path to self destruction. I was fourteen and lost it to this skank in the ravine I don't even remember most of it." He confides in me.

"Alli was fourteen too and Jenna was fifteen, so was K.C. and Eli slept with Julia for two years before we got together. I know Adam's still a virgin and so are Connor and Wesley but well Connor and Wesley aren't exactly socially adept. And Adam was born in the wrong body so he's barely comfortable kissing a girl. I used to think I was going to wait for marriage but I also used to think my parents were going to be together forever and waiting till marriage seems like the wrong thing. I don't mean that I'm ready to lose my virginity tonight or anything but it did feel…" I stop when I see Fitz's face and realize I'm rambling. "Sorry you didn't need to know all that I'm just…never mind you need to get back to work, you have more customers." I tell him seeing another crowd of people about to come through the door.

He looks like he's about to say something but customers come to the counter to order and he can't. For the next two hours there's a steady flow of customers and Fitz is too busy to talk which might be good considering I almost told him everything. A little after nine Jay calls and I go outside to answer.

"Morning." I say into the phone.

"Why'd you leave so early? You okay?" He yawns on the other end.

"Yeah I'm fine sorry; I just woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep. I didn't want to bother you so I went home to change; I left you a note on the fridge." I tell him.

"You did?" He asks in a sleep cracked voice. I hear him walk out of the room and into the kitchen. "Oh yeah I see it. You should probably have some clothes and stuff here since you'll be sleeping over so much. You want a ride to Adam's house or did you go over this early?" He offers.

"No I was just about to leave for Adam's but I can walk it's not far. I'll call you when I leave there." I tell him.

"You going to sleep over again?" He questions.

"I can't I have to sleep at home tonight or Mom'll kill me and anyway I've slept there the last three nights. I'll call you after I leave Adam's house." I insist.

"Okay but it's my day off and I want to see you on my day off so you better call." He commands with another yawn.

"I promise as soon as I leave Adam's." I promise him.

We say goodbye, hang up and I turn around coming face to face, well face to torso but you get the idea, with Owen Milligan of all people who is giving me the most curious and oddest look right now.

"Hey Owen," I smile nervously, "uh how much of that did you hear?" I ask.

"You slept at whose house the last three nights?" He questions with raised eyebrows.

I look down at the ground bite my lip nervously and shift my feet uncomfortably.

**Update soon from right here, with some more Owen, Adam, Drew, Bianca some Eli and of course Fitz and Jay and maybe just maybe some Fitz POV.**

**Be sure and read TomFeltonLover1991's story Unexpected Love**


	4. Counting On You

**Ch. 4 Counting On You**

**(CLARE)**

It's not like Owen and I have the same friends and I highly doubt Owen Milligan who before this had barely said two words to me at one time would care that I had been sleeping at Jay's. The thing that just stops me from telling him I was at my boyfriend's house who happens to be 23, is the fact that he is friends with Drew and Bianca; leaving the possibility that he could let it slip to one of them and they would tell Adam who would tell Eli. Owen's looking at me expectantly and so I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"My dad's, I was at my dad's the last three nights." I tell him.

"Uh huh." He says in a skeptical voice.

"Yeah so uh I should get to Adam's house now, bye Owen." I insist anxiously as I sort of wave and try to walk past him.

I hear him turn and then his hand clamps down on my shoulder and holds me firmly in place. He's really strong, even with one hand holding me I can't move.

"Hang out a minute I'm on my way there, I'll give you a lift." Owen offers. It was really more of a command he wasn't really giving me a choice.

"Uh sure thanks." I say a little hesitantly. He doesn't release his grip on me until we both walk into the Dot; Fitz is giving us a curious look when we get to the counter. "Owen's headed to Adam's he's giving me a ride." I explain.

"Oh thanks Owen, uh can I get you something?" Fitz asks.

Owen orders himself coffee and we walk out to his car, get in and he starts driving.

"So what's with you and Fitz?" Owen asks me after a couple of minutes.

"What do you mean?" I inquire.

"Well he was giving me a look for having my hand on you and you felt the need to explain why to him. Then he thanked me for giving you a ride all of which says to me that he cares about you. I mean I know he's been crushing on you forever but you seem to care what he thinks now." Owen enlightens me.

"We're just friends I just…I don't know these last few days have been stressful and like super confusing and Fitz has been easy to talk to." I inform Owen.

"I know prom was stressful, I was there but what else has been stressful and confusing?" He questions.

"So are you going to visit Adam or just hang out with Drew?" I inquire changing the subject.

He gives me a look that says he hasn't dropped the topic but he does answer my question. "I'm going to visit Adam. Throwing Adam into the door was one of the worst things I've ever done. I feel awful for it but in case you hadn't noticed I haven't been an ass since Vegas Night." Owen says.

"I did notice actually, hard to miss when one of the biggest bullies in school is suddenly not." I tell him.

"Yeah well I'm not friends with Adam but I am with Drew and I felt bad for Adam when he got shot. I felt just as sick as everyone else seeing him lying on the ground in all that blood and if I hadn't been so focused on making sure Anya was okay I would have thrown up." Owen confesses and my respect for Owen just went up. He looks over at me with cocked eyebrows. "So back to my question what happened the last few days?"

"Jake broke up with me at prom because our parents are getting married and now Glen and my mom are moving all of their stuff into our house and I feel like it's being invaded and I'm just not ready for my mom to be re-married let alone have my ex-boyfriend move in as my stepbrother." I admit well rant really to the boy I barely know.

"Dumping you at prom that's cold. So where is Jake?" Owen inquires.

"He ran away to his dad's cabin until the wedding. I was angry about it, that he didn't even care enough to stick around and fight for us when I thought I loved him but then I started dating Jay and I forgot all about Jake." I say and it just kind of slipped out, why I have this sudden urge to spill everything to DeGrassi's former bullies I have no idea.

"Who's Jay?" He asks just as we pull up to Adam's house.

"Hey look we're here." I exclaim hopping out of the car and running to the front door.

I'm about to ring the bell when the door opens and Audra rushes out, nearly bumping into me and obviously late for work.

"Oh Clare sweetie, hi nice to see you. Adam and the kids are in the basement I have to go I'm late. Oh hello Owen, just go on in." Audra says waving to Owen, getting in her car and driving off.

I hear Owen approaching behind me so I go inside and rush downstairs; Drew, Adam and Bianca are all on the sofa playing video games. Well Adam's trying anyway with one hand but doesn't seem to be doing too well. They all look over at me when I appear at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey how ya feeling?" I ask as I hear the front door close and Owen call hello. "Owen's with me. No not with me, we ran into each other at the Dot and he said he was coming over here so he gave me a ride." I explain quickly as Owen joins me at the bottom of the stairs.

I walk around the other side of the sofa and sit down by Adam just as Owen tosses him a football. Adam doesn't have a chance to catch the football as Drew does it for him and then Owen sort of scowls.

"Hey that's for your brother, I thought when your arm gets better we could take it to the park and play." Owen tells Adam sitting down next to Drew.

"Cool thanks Owen." Adam smiles.

"Sure," Owen shrugs and then looks at me. "So Clare who's Jay?" He inquires again.

I don't have to answer because the others do it for me.

"Her new boyfriend, they've been dating since Sunday night." Bianca tells him.

"But they've known each other for years and lost touch and ran into each other Saturday night after she left the hospital. She swears she didn't sleep at his house on Saturday night though but will only tell me she slept somewhere safe." Adam gripes.

"She told me she spent the last three nights at her dad's house." Owen informs them.

"Wouldn't you have clothes at your dad's house? You showed up at the hospital Sunday morning in the same clothes that you wore to prom." Bianca points out.

"Yeah and you told us that you slept at Alli's but then she told us you didn't and that's when you changed your story to staying you stayed somewhere safe." Drew reminds me.

"Yeah and why would you need to lie about staying at your dad's?" Adam asks.

"I umm…" I don't have a reason and I have no idea what to say, so instead I just bite my lip.

"Clare where did you spend the night? The last three nights?" Adam asks with a scolding look.

"Jay's." I admit in almost a whisper, I'm not looking at the others and I don't see their reactions but Adam stops breathing. I show him my purity ring again and take his hand. "Adam we just slept, see purity ring still on. We slept and nothing else." I tell him.

"_Mostly. I mean besides all the kissing and you know him fondling my breasts." _I add in my head.

"You spent the night at a guys house? In his bed?" Adam exclaims.

"We just slept Adam calm down, if you pass out your mom won't let me come over anymore." I tell him.

"St. Clare is sleeping at her boyfriend's house!" Bianca kind of half laughs and is half congratulating me.

"No I just…" I look over to try and explain and freeze when I see Eli on the stairs. "Hi Eli." I say and feel my cheeks turning deep red.

"Hi uh the door was unlocked. Did Bianca just say you've been sleeping at your boyfriend's house? This Jay guy I assume that you won't let anybody meet." Eli says slowly as he descends the rest of the stairs and sits on my other side.

"Hey I offered to sleep with you and you turned me away." I remind him.

"You know you didn't mean it." He counters.

"I did too; if you had let me in I would have spent the night with you. You didn't want me to know that you were hoarding." I retort.

"You would have only slept at my house to piss off your feuding parents, which I believe is the same reason you invited me to dinner and we got the piercings!" Eli states.

"You're relationship was just all drama wasn't it?" Bianca laughs.

"I'm just not comfortable at home right now and Jay's house is a refuge for me. The point is all we do is sleep and not even next to each other. You three can't say anything because well I barely know you." I say pointing to Drew and Bianca. "And you can't say anything Eli because Julia spent a lot of nights at your house when you two were dating. And Adam you…well you can be mad but we just sleep and I told you I've known him since I was twelve." I proclaim slightly exasperated. _"And he was nineteen and he has his own apartment and we do a little more than sleep." _My brain says silently.

"I'm not mad just shocked and why didn't you tell me. You told me that you didn't sleep at his place." Adam says.

"I said I didn't sleep at his house and I didn't, he lives in an apartment." I correct him and he gives me look.

"Fine but if you're staying at his house or apartment or whatever then we need to meet him." Adam stipulates.

"Adam you're not my parents and I already told you that I don't think it's a good idea for you guys to meet because you have nothing in common." I affirm.

"Clare…" Adam and Eli start to argue together and I can hear Owen, Bianca and Drew starting to argue as well.

"GUYS! We just started dating okay just let me be in the relationship for more than five minutes and then you can meet him, maybe." I blurt out.

"Yeah okay I guess." Adam resigns after a minute.

Eli looks unsure but doesn't say anything; I assume he's being careful because of our new and tenuous friendship or like re-friendship. The other three are not so silent.

"So when do we get to meet this mysterious Jay?" Drew inquires.

"Yeah I'm dying to meet the guy that got St. Clare to sleep at his house three nights in a row." Bianca chimes in.

"I don't know when we're not a new couple anymore and I won't care so much that my ex-boyfriend, best friend, his brother, his brothers ex and their friend are judging him and us. It's a new relationship I just want to be in the relationship and enjoy it." I argue.

"Still sounds like you're hiding something to me." Owen says and I pick up a sofa cushion and toss it at him.

"So are we gonna finish this level or not?" Bianca asks changing the subject and I smile at her.

Adam gives his controller to Eli and Drew gives Owen the fourth controller and they start playing again. I know that hiding Jay is bad, I know that changing the subject and having to defend the relationship in my head is bad. Honestly I don't really care what Owen, Bianca and Drew think because I hardly know them but I do care what Adam thinks and Eli too. While I watch the others play video games I have this brief vision of bringing Jay over to meet them all and here's how it goes in my head:

_We come through the exterior basement door and they are all on the sofa playing video games just like they are now but when we walk through the door everything stops and they all look at us._

"_Everyone," I say taking Jay's arm, "this is Jay my boyfriend."_

"_Hey." Jay greets._

_Everyone else is still just staring at us frozen so I start introductions._

"_This is my best friend Adam, that's Eli my ex, uh that's Adam's brother Drew and that's Bianca and Owen." I say pointing to everyone._

_Eli is the first to break out of the shock. "Exactly how old are you?" Eli questions through a clenched jaw. _

"_Twenty three." Jay replies._

"_Whoa." Bianca exclaims._

_No one else says anything but Eli lunges at Jay and they start fighting._

Adam waves his hand on front of my face and breaks me from my thoughts. "You okay?" He asks.

"Yeah but umm I…I have to go…because I promised Mom I'd clean my room. Yeah so uh I'll be over tomorrow." I say kissing Adam's cheek and climbing over the back of the sofa.

So if I did actually introduce Jay to the others it may not go that way at all but my only thought right now is that they can never meet him. I walk quickly to the sliding glass door, when I turn around to close the door behind me Eli is there preventing me from doing so.

"Clare are you okay? I know we haven't talked much but I still know you." Eli says with a worried look.

"I'm fine Eli I just need to get home I'll be back tomorrow." I assure him.

"You seem to run out every time I'm around is it me? If you're still uncomfortable around me I can call before I come over or we could make like a schedule." He offers and I smile.

"It's not you Eli really besides Adam's your friend too you should be able to come over and see him anytime you want. Really it's not you I just need to get home." I tell him.

He gives me a sort of relieved smile and I turn around and start walking. I have no intention of going home though; I'm going to the one other place that I've been drawn to these last few days, the Dot.

**(FITZ)**

I hand the guy that just bought his coffee his change, close the cash drawer and then I see her; Clare Edwards. She's walking down the sidewalk, her hair lightly bouncing and even at this distance I can see how her crystal blue eyes sparkle. She's lightly biting her lip, it's this habit of hers when she's nervous or deep in thought and it's one of my favorite things about her. She's like surrounded by the soft late morning sunlight that shines on her hair and lights her face as she glides down the sidewalk and she looks like a goddess. I've been like in love with the girl since the beginning of the year but she is very out of my league.

I've known her since last year really but she seemed so young last year, cute but she had long hair and glasses and was all skinny and flat. Reese had a thing for her last year and I didn't get it but when I showed up to school on the first day this year and saw her I literally choked on my beer. She had like filled out and cut her hair; she even smiled more and just looked like amazing! I wanted to ask her out, to talk to her to spend time with her at all but I just stared at her. B and Owen made fun of me for it, teasing me about liking St. Clare but I didn't care. I've never had trouble talking to girls but I'd never tried talking to a girl like her before either. Usually I'd just walk up to a girl and say something like "Yo wanna hook up?" But you just didn't say things like that to Clare Edwards.

By the time I actually worked up the courage to talk to her Eli came along and I saw how she looked at him. I was messed up back then and didn't handle the extreme jealousy well. In my defense though I did try to end the feud after I saw how it bothered her but Eli wouldn't let it go. Adam sort of became a casualty of war, I know I was a dick to the guy and I did target him a little but like I said I was messed up and I never met and FTM before, I didn't know what to do. Vegas Night was definitely my lowest point and I really regret it now like all of it but I saw an opportunity to get her on a date and I couldn't pass it up. I thought maybe if she spent some time with me she might start to like me. I do admit that blackmail is not the best way to start a relationship and then Eli put the ipecac in my drink and I just had to get my revenge. I have apologized to all of them since then and eventually even Adam and Eli forgave me but fighting with them isn't the only way I messed things up with Clare.

When I got out of juvie I wanted more than ever to be with her, because she really was what got me through juvie and turned me around. I wanted to be better for her, be a guy that she deserves. She was dating Eli but I saw that he was slipping and I was afraid he was going to hurt her and I wasn't exactly wrong either. I tried too hard though, tried to get her to be with me because we shared the belief in god but that was wrong. It was also wrong of me to try and save everybody, Father Greg says you can show them the light but you can't force them and what I believe isn't what everyone believes and I can't make them. That one was hard because I spent most of my life forcing other people to see things my way except I usually did it with my fists.

Father Greg says I gotta make my life as good as I can for me and help others along the way but I can't make them believe and change, they have to want it. So after Eli caught me at Clare's house and she kicked me out I backed off for a while. I saw the end of their relationship and the start of her and Jake's and it hurt to see her with someone else but these last few days have been the best of my life because she's been coming in and hanging out and talking to me! Not Adam or Alli or any of her other friends but me. She's actually like confided in me and stuff.

Taking her to the stream yesterday and talking and hanging out and pushing her on the swing was like amazing, the best time I have ever had. She was enjoying herself too, Clare Edwards was relaxed and having fun with me! I could have stayed for hours just being in her presence and I curse myself for being tired. I didn't even care that she called me Mark, I hate my name and no one else ever calls me that but when she said it my heart fluttered. I realize we'll probably never be together because she's like amazing, like probably the most amazing girl ever and I'm a former trouble maker who will probably work in a coffee shop the rest of my life but if we can be friends and I can spend more time with her like that I would be happy. I'll probably always love her but I doubt she'll ever love me back.

"Hey Fitz." She smiles at me as she approaches the counter.

God how I love her smile, she just lights up when she smiles and her smile manages to be angelic and super sexy at the same time.

"Hey, you look like something's on your mind." I comment as I can see the thoughtful look on her face.

She laughs a little and nods. "Yeah there is."

"Well your just in time, I take my lunch in a few minutes you wanna have lunch with me?" I ask.

"Sure." She says.

"What would like? George will make you anything and it's on me." I tell her.

She tells me she wants a salad and lemonade and I get a burger and soda and put the order in, I get one free meal everyday but I pay for hers. George puts the order on the counter and I tell Ray, the other waiter that I'm going on lunch and start walking to a table.

"Could we maybe eat upstairs where it's more private?" She requests.

I shrug and set down my burger to grab the key from behind the counter, I pick my plate back up and we head upstairs. It's a little tricky getting the door unlocked with my hands full but we manage. We sit down on the stage facing each other and start eating, after a few minutes when she's not talking I prod her.

"So what's on your mind?" I ask.

"Have you ever dated someone that you had to hide from your friends and family?" She asks.

"My family never cared who I dated and they've never really met anyone I dated. If I brought a girl home they didn't usually bother finding out the girls name and just kicked us out telling us to find somewhere else to have sex." I tell her and her cheeks go a little pink and she looks away so I put my hand on her arm to get her to look at me again. "I'm not like that anymore and I even went to the doctor when I got out of juvie to make sure I was clean and STI free and I am. I was stupid back then I've changed." I insist to her.

She smiles again and puts her hand on mind and her touch sends this like wave of energy through me.

"I know that Fitz you're a better guy now and I'm really proud of you. What about your friends? I mean did you ever date a girl that you hid from them?" She inquires.

"No I mean Owen and I didn't really date more like hook up and B never hid who she dated or hooked up with. Why are you dating somebody you need to keep from your friends?" I inquire as I realize why she's probably asking these questions.

She bites her lip and nods a little. "Jay's great you know and these last couple of days it's been such a solace to have him and his place to go to. Besides being at the Dot with you his place is my refuge and I feel so good when I'm with him and when we're together everything makes sense. I want to be with him when we're together or even when I hear his voice but then when we're apart I just get all these doubts." She confesses.

"So you went straight from seeing Jake to some other guy?" I ask and I hope the hurt and jealousy I feel isn't coming through in my voice.

"Yeah we ran into each other Saturday night and I ended up sleeping there and I know it sounds like the worst rebound but I've known Jay for years. He's always been nice to me and he's been so amazing these last few days with everything going on and letting me stay over so I don't have to be at home." She tells me.

My chest starts to feel tight and I lose my appetite, she's still looking away, actually I notice now that she's looking at her purity ring and twirling it on her hand. I put my fingers under her chin and get her to look at me.

"This morning when you asked me how old I was when I first had sex and you started to say you weren't ready for sex yet but it did feel good what did you mean?" I question taking my fingers from her chin.

"I'm still a virgin but we…he ummm…" she blushes and I can see she's uncomfortable talking to me about this.

"You don't have to tell me but you are still a virgin right?" I ask.

"Yes I'm still a virgin I've been sleeping at his house the last few nights but that's it just sleeping. Well aside from last night, when was umm fondling above the waist and kissing but that's it." She says quickly.

"Okay so if this guy is as great as you claim then why hide him? I thought you said you've know him for years wouldn't at least some of your friends know who he is?" I question as I start eating again, relieved that she's still a virgin.

"I've known him since I was twelve but no one else knows him. He doesn't go to DeGrassi…anymore, he's a few years older and that's why I won't let Adam or the others meet him." She confesses.

"A few years like Sav?" I ask and she shakes her head. "Like Peter?" I ask and she shakes her head again. Sav is two years older than her and Peter is five years older than her so I'm hoping it's between the two. "Fours older than you?" I try.

"Almost seven," she admits and I start choking on the bite of hamburger I just ate.

"He's seven years older than you!" I exclaim when I can breathe again. "He's…" I stop to do the math in my head.

"He turned twenty three on Sunday." She says.

"He's twenty three and you're sixteen! Clare are you crazy?!" I say in a harsher tone than I mean to and she flinches a little and then I feel bad.

"I know how it sounds but he's really great Fitz but this why I can't tell anyone else, even you're flipping out. Adam, Eli, Jenna they would all flip out. Possibly even Drew, Bianca and Owen and they'd all judge just like you are." She says in a sad and defensive tone.

I take a deep breath and relax. "I'm not judging and I'm sorry I flipped out it's just shocking. What does a twenty three year old guy want to date a high school girl for and what do you even see in him?" I ask her.

"I don't know, he's got a job and his own place and I've known him a long time, he kind of reminds of you actually. He's sweet and…I can't really explain it it's just something I feel. Fitz don't tell anyone please?" She requests.

"_He reminds you of me? Why can't you like me that way? I'm only a year older than you! I would treat you like a goddess! This guy may be sweet but twenty three year old guy's never date sixteen year old high school girls with good intentions. It was probably that guy I saw drop her off the other day, I knew there was something I didn't like about him." _I rant in my head but manage to keep my face clam. I can't talk her out of dating this guy and if I keep arguing that it's a bad idea, which it totally is, then she'll probably just walk out and I could lose her as a friend and that would kill me. Well since I do know about it now I'm going to protect her as much as I can.

"I'll keep it secret if you promise me something." I tell her.

"What?" She asks.

"That you'll talk to me, about anything but especially you and this guy. If you're having doubts or you have more questions. And that if you ever need me, for anything, you need a ride or you guys had a fight or anything at all that you'll call me. Anytime, day or night. If I don't answer my cell call me at work I will always come right away for you." I tell her.

She smiles really big, leans over and kisses my cheek. "I promise and thanks Fitz." She says.

I just smile and enjoy the feeling of her lips on my skin that remains even after she takes her lips away.

**(CLARE)**

We finish lunch and Fitz goes inside to go back to work, I wave to him and start walking to Jay's. I know I could call him to pick me up but I don't want to bother him on his day off and I feel like walking anyway. I admit Fitz being the one to be in my corner and the one I can count on is not something I would have predicted but it feels really good. Having someone to confide in and talk to and not feel like I'm being judged or like they might let it slip to Adam or Eli or someone is immensely comforting. He's changed so much since I first met him in grade nine; of course back then he was just a rude bully.

The first time I ever saw his softer side was Vegas Night when I found him at his locker with my corsage. I wonder how differently things would have turned out if Eli hadn't poisoned Fitz's drink and Fitz hadn't felt the need to retaliate. Maybe though Fitz needed juvie, to find god and see he could be better. Like always I'm over thinking it and I stop when I get Jay's apartment building. He gave me the door code last night so I go in and up to his apartment, since I have a key I don't knock just unlock the door.

The second I have the door opened and my keys out of the lock I'm pushed to the wall, pinned and Jay's lips assail mine. He kicks the door shut and I drop my keys to the floor and put my hands at the back of his neck. God I love how he kisses me, his lips are telling me he wants me and he needs me that I'm desired, beautiful and sexy and he hasn't spoken a word. I forget everything else and just melt into the kiss and wish it could just always be like this. It's several minutes before we pull apart and I can catch my breath.

"I thought you were going to call me when you left Adam's?" He reminds me.

"I was but I didn't want to bother you on your day off and anyway I didn't mind the walk." I shrug.

"Picking you up is not a bother. I told you I don't want you walking if I can drive you." He insists. He takes my hand and pulls me to the sofa, putting me on his lap. "So gorgeous what do wanna do today?" He queries.

"I don't know it's your day off what do want to do?" I question.

He looks at me with an impish smile wiggles his eyebrows and brings his lips back to mine.

**Update Soon from right here.**

**So there's some Fitz POV and Mansavage I have never written for good Fitz before and I did my best to keep him in character so I hope you approve.**

**I know I'm the author so this sounds a bit self-serving but I got a little choked up writing Fitz's inner monologue about his feelings for Clare and How he feels about her. **


	5. Fiddle About

**Pretty long get comfy.**

**Ch.5 Fiddle About**

**(JAY)**

"I don't know it's your day off what do want to do?" She asks me.

I don't even bother replying with words; just crush my lips to hers. She parts her lips just slightly and I shoot my tongue into her mouth and dominate her tongue. My hands move up and down her curves over her shirt and her hands come to the back of my neck. I grab her waist and turn her on my lap so she's straddling me, then I pull at the bottom of her shirt and break from the kiss to get it over her head. She looks like she's about to protest or argue so I bring my lips to hers again pulling at her bottom lips just a bit to get her to melt into the kiss again and she does.

Her arms go around my neck and her eyes close, my hands go roaming over her skin and she trembles. I love the feel of her skin, so soft and silky and milky white I just want to lick every single inch of it. Finding her bra clasp I unhook it and start slipping it from her arms slowly, I don't need to break from the kiss to get it off of her. She shivers just slightly when I have the bra off and drop it next to me. My hands go to her succulent beasts, squeezing gently and gently pinching her nipples; she gasps a little and pulls back from the kiss.

"Jay." She says in a timid tone.

"You asked what I wanted to do today." I shrug leaning forward to kiss her again but she turns her head a little.

"I know but this is more than kissing and…" she begins to argue and I interrupt her.

"You weren't complaining last night." I point out.

She bites her lip and her cheeks go a little pink. "You'll stay above the waist again?" She questions.

I sigh a little and roll my eyes and then look at her with a smile. "Of course, now just lie back and relax Babe."

I move her from my lap pushing her bra to the floor and laying her down on the sofa, she puts one leg on the floor and the other is bent on the sofa giving me a lovely view of her white panties under her denim skirt. She bites her lip shyly and I smile at her as my hand caresses up her bare skin to her breast and she closes her eyes just a bit. My lips touch down to her other breast and drawing circles with open mouth kisses. I hear her make a little moan and I smile, she may be nervous about sex but I know how to get to her. Placing my lips around her nipple I suck it gently commanding it to be hard, her back arches just slightly and her hands go the back of my head. Swirling the one nipple gently with my tongue and gently rolling the other between my fingers, my other hand begins softly trailing up the inside of her leg.

"Jay that's not above the waist." She protests but she does it almost in a moan.

"But your body says you want it." I argue moving my hand to her crotch and pressing gently her breathing hitches and I feel that she's wet. "See you're wet, your body knows what it wants. I'll be gentle trust me, just fingers this time I promise." I whisper against the soft skin of her breast.

She doesn't answer, she seems to be thinking about it, she thinks too much so I decide to stop her. My hand goes up under her skirt pushing aside her panties and parting her pussy lips gently and then my finger slides in and she bites her lip, her eyes going half lidded and she moans a little. I've got her now, her body quivers, her hips buck just slightly and her hands grip the sofa. I slide my finger in a little farther, she feels awesome so wet and warm and tight! So fucking tight! I can't wait to take her, never had the privilege of taking a virgin before, the thought of thrusting my dick into her tight virgin pussy has me so incredibly hard. My finger starts pumping her hole and she begins to writhe and moan endlessly. She really is making the most lovely noises and I can see her sort of lost in the haze of bliss.

I'm so fucking horny now I have to do something, so I move to sit with my legs down and put her leg over my lap. I unzip my jeans and free my throbbing erect cock; Clare is totally unaware as I increase my speed with my finger. I want so badly to just put her on my lap and impale her, fuck her tight virgin pussy hard but I won't not yet, I did promise only fingers this time and that's what I'm going to do. So I start pounding my finger into her as fast as I can while I masturbate between her legs. Her hips are bucking like crazy now, her hands digging into the sofa and her back arched so high her lower half isn't even touching the sofa. She's moaning loud now almost screaming and her sounds are spurring me on, my hands moving as fast as I physically can.

In my head I am having the best fantasy of taking her virginity and then she climaxes, her walls tighten, her body lurches, she bites down on her lip and screams so wonderfully. I slow down a little, until she's ridden out her orgasm and withdraw my fingers from her making her whimper a little. She collapses to the sofa recovering her breath, her breasts heaving as she does and I can see she's watching me as I masturbate but she only smiles blissfully. It only takes a moment for me to cum and my eyes begin to close but I see from the corner of my eye her look of surprise as I do. I lean back against the sofa, moving her other leg onto my lap so that I can, I rub her legs as I start to recover my own breath. She's still trembling a little but she is smiling a little.

"Mmmm you taste wonderful, I can't wait to taste you for real." I tell her as I lick my fingers that were inside of her a few short minutes ago. Seeing that I have cum all over my jeans now I think I better change clothes. "Guess I should clean up, back in a minute." I tell her then move her legs off my lap and get off the sofa going to my room to change.

**(CLARE)**

I watch Jay walk into his room as I begin to breathe normally once more. I feel…good, that was…words don't really seem to be able to describe it accurately. If that was just his finger I wonder how sex would feel? It did hurt a little but the little bit of discomfort was soon replaced by pleasure. His dick, as I saw, is most definitely bigger than his finger so I have to imaging there would be more pain but does that mean the pleasure would be that much greater as well? I bite my lip and quiver involuntarily at the thought as Jay comes out of his room in fresh jeans and goes into the washroom. Feeling like I can finally move I get up and fix my panties before bending down to get my bra and searching for my shirt. Sex, even after my beliefs about waiting until marriage changed, was always a scary thought but after that I find myself more than curious. For the first time I want to make love and Jay knows what he's doing for sure, there's just one thing.

"Don't get dressed again." Jay says coming behind me and putting his arms around my waist. "Let's just be naked all day." He insists kissing my neck.

"I don't think so, umm where is my shirt?" I question.

"You don't need a shirt." He counters.

"Jay I would like my shirt I'm not comfortable walking around naked." I shoot back.

"Too bad, we can fix that but for now your shirt is behind the sofa." He says.

I slip out of his arms and retrieve my shirt putting it on once more. Now I just need to talk to him about something and I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way. He goes to the fridge and gets a beer and sits on the sofa and I go sit next to him.

"Jay," I speak timidly and he looks at me, I take a breath and force my voice to become stronger. "I umm…the poss…" this shouldn't be so hard to say.

"What is it Babe?" Jay asks putting his arm around me.

"What we just did, well what you just did was really nice and I…before we do more than that, I mean I know you're not a virgin and I just…" he kind of laughs and cuts me off with a kiss.

"My sweet Clare worried about STI's. If you want we can go to the clinic right now and I will get tested." He says and I smile.

"It would put me at ease but don't think I'll be ready to have sex the minute we get home." I stipulate.

"Wouldn't dream of it but you called this home not my place does that mean I get to keep you tonight?" He questions.

"If I don't go home my mom will flip." I insist.

He twists his mouth in disapproval and sighs. "Fine but then you better stay with me until you absolutely have to be home. Alright lets go to the clinic so you can be sure I'm not diseased." He chides.

"Jay! I don't think your diseased I just want to know for my own peace of mind so when we do have sex…" he cuts me off with a kiss again.

"I know I was kidding and you said when not if." He points out.

"Oh well I umm…" I stumble over my words not having realized my slip up.

"Come on beautiful, lets go." He laughs, putting his arm around me and we walk to the door.

I grab my purse from where I dropped it when he kissed me as I entered and we leave the apartment and go to the car. The drive to the clinic takes about ten minutes and we go in together Jay signs in and we sit, I see a few people look at us closely when he sits by me. A few minutes later the nurse calls Jay back, he kisses my cheek and says he'll be out in a few minutes.

"Was that your boyfriend?" A nosy woman in her forties asks.

"Yes." I nod.

"How old are you?" She questions with her eyebrows squeezed together and a disapproving look on her face.

"I don't see how that's any of your business." I retort.

"Well he's obviously a few years older than you but I guess you do look like you could be eighteen." She says but she's still giving me a spurning look.

I really don't know this woman and my relationship with Jay is none of her damn business! The fact that she feels the need to sit there and judge me makes me angry and so when Jay returns a moment later I turn to him and kiss him long and hard making sure that woman sees us.

"Well that was a nice welcome, we just have to wait for the results, takes a couple of hours though, come on let's go home." He says pulling me up.

We drive back to his place and he turns on the TV as we both sit on the sofa, he finishes his beer and I get some water and we watch TV waiting for the clinic to call. Finally his phone rings and it's the clinic, he puts it on speaker so I can hear as well.

"May I speak with Jason Hogart?" The nurse asks.

"Speaking." He says.

"_Jason huh?" _I think raising my eyebrows at him.

"All your tests came back negative you are free of STI's." Says the nurse.

"Thanks." He says, hangs up and looks at me. "Feel better now?" He asks.

"Much." I smile.

He gets a sly smile on his face and swiftly has me pinned with my back to the sofa, his lips on my neck. Even at this mere touch I can feel the fire growing in my belly and my body tingles and sort of aches to feel him again. I better stop this before things go too far, I can already feel him getting hard.

"Hmmm Jason," I say in a slightly scolding tone gently pushing him back, "I need to get home soon."

He sighs but sits up and pulls me with him. "Fine but let me at least feed you first." He insists. He gets up and goes to the fridge looking at it for a few minutes. "Maybe we should go out, guess I better go shopping if you're going to be over so much."

He takes my hand and we go back to his car, we drive to a dive bar on the edge of town and this is where we eat. No one gives us a second glance upon seeing us together though which is good because after that woman at the clinic I wasn't in the mood. The food is surprisingly good and when we're done he takes me home but drops me off about a block from my house.

"I gotta work tomorrow but you should come by on my lunch we can eat together. You think your mom will let you sleep over tomorrow night?" He asks.

"I doubt it; I better sleep at home for a couple of nights. I'll come have lunch with you tomorrow though." I tell him.

He smiles and runs his fingers through my hair and when his hand is at the back of my head he brings our lips together.

"I'll call you tomorrow." He says, I smile and get out of the car.

He waves as he drives off and I walk home.

**(FITZ)**

Just as the morning rush begins to die down she walks through the door. She's a gorgeous vision in a blue and white summer dress; she looks amazing as always and smiles at me when she sees me watching her.

"What can I get you today?" I inquire.

"The usual, thanks Fitz." Clare smiles placing money on the counter.

I ring it up and get her order and she sits at the counter. "So how are things with that guy?" I ask and my tone comes out harsher than I had meant it to.

She looks at me biting her lip and her cheeks blush a little. "They're going good, really good." She breaths.

I've never met this guy and only seen him very briefly through the window as he dropped her off but I know that he's seven years older than her and I don't like him or trust him. For whatever reason she's taken by this guy though.

"Good I guess." I shrug and she scowls at me a little.

"Fitz." She says in a scolding tone.

"Sorry I'm just worried about you, after you told me about him yesterday." I tell her taking her hands and she smiles at me. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

She looks like she's about to say something but someone clears their throat behind us and I look up to see Owen. He's giving us a curious look and we pull our hands apart.

"Am I interrupting something?" Owen asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I just stopped in for breakfast." Clare says.

"Uh huh, you seem to be doing that a lot lately." Owen comments and then looks at me. "Coffee and a donut." He orders and I ring him up. "So what were we talking about?" Owen asks as he pays.

"Nothing." Clare shakes her head and takes a sip of coffee.

I've know Owen for about three years now and he like me was a bully and is no longer, one thing Owen has always been is protective of anyone he cares about at all. I wonder if he knows about this Jay guy, it couldn't hurt to have someone else to help look out for Clare especially if I need to talk to Jay with my fists which I have a feeling I will.

"Her boyfriend." I tell him. I promised I wouldn't say anything about the guys age I didn't say anything about not talking about him at all.

"Oh yeah Jay she's been very secretive about him. You know anything about him?" Owen asks as I hand him his coffee and donut.

Clare shoots me a warning look to remind me of my promise no doubt, like I would break my word to her. If only she knew how much I loved her, how much I like worship her, how good I would treat her. She'll probably never see me as anything but the changed bully that has a crush on her though.

"I saw him when he dropped her off and I know he has a job and his own place and she describes him as sweet although I have my doubts." I inform him.

"Fitz he is sweet, very sweet." Clare defends him.

"Wait he has his own place? How old is this guy Clare?" Owen questions and I smile as Clare glares at me.

"He uh doesn't get along with his parents so he got a job and his own place." She says rather quickly.

"So wait when you said you slept at his place three nights in a row you actually meant his place like no parents?! You didn't…" Owen starts and she cuts him off.

"NO! Look purity ring…still…on," she says it slowly and with such an odd look on her face that I knit my eyebrows together.

Something happened, something besides him just fondling her and I need to know what the guy did to her.

"Yeah it is but you don't sound like it should be." Owen remarks speaking my thoughts for me.

"No I'm still a virgin, the ring is right where it should be but uh I need to go to Adam's." Clare says getting up quickly.

Owen puts his arm around her shoulders and sits her back down. "Good I'm going there too I'll give you a ride again." He tells her.

"Oh uh great." She says slowly.

"Fitz can you get this stuff ready to take with us and uh give me a dozen donuts to take, I'm going to the washroom." Owen says putting money on the counter for the donuts and he gets up walking to the washroom and then turns back. "Make sure she stays put."

"Don't worry, I got her." I nod and Owen walks back to the washroom and I look at her. "So what aren't you telling me?" I question.

She bites her lip and looks away nervously. "We uh, we went a little farther than last time." She confesses and I stop putting donuts in the box.

"Exactly how far?" I question.

"I don't want to talk about it here and why'd you tell Owen that I thought you promised not to say anything?" She says in a scolding tone.

"I promised not to tell anyone how old he is and I didn't. I'm off at three I'll call you when I'm off and then you can tell me. You promised you'd talk to me about it since you're not talking to anyone else." I remind her.

"Can we go to that spot again? With the swing?" She requests and I smile.

"Yeah of course." I tell her.

Owen comes out of the washroom and I hand him the donuts and put their coffee in to go cups for them. She smiles at me and walks out with Owen and I watch her until she's out of view. The thought of seeing her later, taking her to our spot again to be with her alone it makes my heart like flutter. What is it about her that the mere thought of spending time with her makes me feel like I'm flying. If only she knew if only she knew what she like did to me just thinking about her.

**(CLARE)**

We're only in Owen's car a couple of minutes before he starts asking questions.

"So about this boyfriend of yours, you sound like you're at least being somewhat sexually active, just how far have you gone?" He inquires.

"No offense Owen but I barely know you and I'm not discussing either my relationship or my sex life with you." I shoot back.

"I do take offense to that actually; you talk about it with Fitz. You are admitting to having a sex life though." He responds.

"No I never said that and I have spent a lot more time with Fitz than with you. We've been talking a lot over the last few days." I counter.

"So why won't you let anyone meet this guy again?" He asks.

"Because it's a new relationship." I tell him.

"It's a rebound relationship after your last boyfriend dumped you when he found out he was going to be your stepbrother soon." Owen argues.

"It's not a rebound relationship." I defend.

"Then let me meet him." Owen says flatly.

"No I don't want you guys judging him, us." I argue.

"I won't judge." He replies.

"Yes you will," I counter. _"Even strangers judge us and I can barely pass for eighteen you all know I'm not eighteen and Jay cannot pass for a teenager." _I add in my head.

"Is there something to judge?" He questions.

"No!" I say quickly as my head says _"Yes." _"But you even called it a rebound relationship I just don't want to introduce him to you guys and have you call him a rebound." I argue, weak but it's all I have.

"We won't call him a rebound to his face." Owen tells me.

"Drop it Owen if I'm not letting my best friend meet my boyfriend I'm not letting you meet him. Anyway we're here and don't say anything to anyone about anything." I insist.

We get out of the car and Owen knocks on the door, no one answers so he tries the handle and the door is open so we walk in.

"HEY I BROUGHT DONUTS AND A SECRETIVE BEST FRIEND!" Owen yells into the house.

We hear someone running up the steps from the basement and then Drew appears taking the box of donuts from Owen.

"Sweet donuts thanks Owen, hey Clare." Drew smiles.

We follow Drew to the basement and the others wave at us.

"So you came with Owen again?" Bianca smiles at me.

"Again?" Katie questions.

"He ran into me at the Dot again and offered me a ride again." I tell them.

"You've been going to the Dot a lot." Eli says.

"What's your point Eli?" I inquire.

"Just saying you've been there a lot." He shrugs.

"Talking to Fitz, they're friends now." Owen informs the room.

Adam and Eli have almost the same look on their face, it's somewhere between astonished and almost angry. Katie just seems curious but she's fairly new to the group and I don't think she knows the whole background story. Drew looks somewhere between slightly concerned and very curious and Bianca just looks amused.

"So how's your arm?" I ask Adam as I change the subject.

"Still hurts. So what do you talk to Fitz about?" Adam asks.

"Her boyfriend." Owen answers for me and I glare at him

"Do I have to face the Spanish inquisition every time I come over?" I question in exasperation.

"We're just concerned about you and this super secret boyfriend you won't let anyone meet." Adam tells me.

Owen opens his mouth to say something so smack his stomach with the back of my hand.

"I will let you meet him, eventually." I tell them. _"Maybe." _I add silently.

Bianca changes the subject to my relief and I sit on the sofa next to Adam. We hang out all morning watching TV and playing board games. Around eleven Eli leaves to go to therapy and shortly after he's gone Jay calls and I go outside to talk.

"Hey."

"Hey Babe, I have lunch in half an hour you gonna come have lunch with me?" He asks.

"Of course I am." I reply.

"You know how to get here?" He questions.

"Yeah I'll start walking now." I say.

"I don't like you walking." He says.

"I could probably get a ride but then…"

"Right someone might see me and would know I'm older than you. Okay but be careful I'll see you in a bit." He says.

We hang up and I go inside. "That was my mom I gotta get home I'll come over tomorrow." I tell Adam and hug him.

I wave to the others and then leave, where Jay works is actually pretty far from Adam's so I take the bus. I get to his work place, Tony's auto shop about ten minutes into his lunch but as I see him still working on a car it doesn't look like he's started his lunch yet. One of his co-workers several years older than him gives me the once over and I find it creepy.

"Can I help you Miss?" Asks another employee.

Before I can answer Jay looks over and smiles at me. "Hey Babe, I'll be right out hey Jordan take over for me so I can go to lunch." Jay calls to someone.

"You gonna introduce us to your chick Hogart?" The one I'm assuming is Jordan asks.

"Clare this is everyone, everyone my girlfriend Clare so keep your damn eyes to yourself." Jay introduces us. He walks over and kisses me softly then hands me his keys. "Here wait in the car I don't trust these guys. I'll be out as soon as I wash my hands and get out of these coveralls." Jay instructs.

I nod and walk over to his car and get in, slipping the keys into the ignition. Jay gets in the car a few minutes later and kisses me again.

"You make it here okay?" He asks as he starts driving.

"I had to take the bus but I made it fine." I tell him and he grimaces at me.

"I don't like the idea of you taking a bus, next time I pick you up." He tells me.

"Jay I take the…" I start but he cuts me off.

"No girlfriend of mine is taking the bus." He says in a determined tone.

The look on his face says very clearly to not argue so I don't. We drive to a little taco stand with outside tables.

"So you have to sleep at home again tonight?" He asks as we sit down and start eating.

"I think I should she's pretty distracted between work, the wedding and moving Glen and Jake in but she does notice if I'm not at least home to sleep several nights in a row. I might be able to come over tomorrow night." I tell him.

"My next day off is Friday but if I can't have you for the night can you at least come over for a while after work tomorrow?" He requests.

"I'll try." I tell him.

After we eat he drives me home before he goes back to work, he drops me down the block of course and we share a very long hot kiss before we say goodbye. If I could accurately describe the way kissing him feels to my friends then I don't think they'd have a problem with his age. If they could just know how I feel when I'm with him, when he touches me then I don't think they'd care about our age difference. I wave goodbye to him as he drives off and I walk down the block to my house, no one's home since Mom and Glen are at work. I go up to my room and wait for Fitz to get off work and I'm actually looking forward to spending time with him again.

**(FITZ)**

The second I'm off work I call Clare.

"Hi." She greets and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Hey I'm off, you want me to pick you up?" I ask.

"Sure I'm at home," she says.

I tell her I'll be there in a few and hang up as I get in my car. When I arrive at her house a few minutes later she's waiting on her front steps. She smiles when she sees me and I smile back, getting out of the car to open her door for her. She's silent for the whole drive just like staring out the window but the sun is shining on her hair and lighting her face and she just looks like angelic, like so beautiful she can't possibly be real. I remember one of those times I actually you know went to class, back when I was going to school, Mr. Perino told us about Helen of Troy this woman that was so gorgeous there was like this war over her. She was supposedly the most beautiful woman ever and then Venus, not the planet but like the Roman goddess of love who was supposed to be the most beautiful goddess. To me Clare is more beautiful than both of them combined. I park the car and we get out and walk down to our spot, I think of it as our spot now as I'm pretty sure neither Owen or Bianca has been here in months. She gets on the swing and starts rocking back and forth on her heels so I go over and grab the ropes and start pushing her.

"So you were going to tell me how far you've gone." I prod once I have her going on the swing.

She leans her head back to look at me as the swing goes up and she smiles, when the swing comes back she stops it with her foot turning to straddle the swing. I lean against the tree hooking my thumbs in my pockets and looking at her, she's almost laughing and her cheeks are pink and she can't quite meet my eyes. It's fucking adorable how shy she is.

"You have to understand the way I was raised we didn't really talk about sex. Sex before marriage was considered a sin, even after marriage it was, according to our parents and church and stuff, it was just to make children. My parents did not talk about it, my mom said to come to her with questions but then would always find an excuse not to talk and my dad despite the fact he was having an affair wanted to pretend I didn't know what sex was. If not for Alli, Darcy and Darcy's ex's I would probably be the most naïve sixteen year old ever. When my parents got divorced and I found out my dad was cheating on my mom and my whole world shattered! Marriage wasn't so permanent and waiting to have sex until I was married seemed like a terrible idea because there was just no way to know it was going to be forever. Not that I was ready to just go out and have sex, the thought of it was still pretty scary but I needed the right person." Clare pours her heart out to me and pauses to take a breath and bite her lip.

I leave the tree and go to the swing and she scoots back so I can sit, straddling the swing and facing her. "And you think Jay is the right guy?" I ask.

I manage to keep my voice steady but the words taste bitter coming from my mouth. I know it's all jealousy on my part that I wish I was him, that I would give anything to have her the way he does. Well jealousy and mistrust, because the dude is seven years older than her and he's dating a sixteen year old and I don't believe for a second that a good guy would do that.

"He, and don't repeat this to anyone, he fingered me." She confesses and bites her lip and I just want to kill him. Clare blushes and lets out this like blissful exhale and it's the most beautiful sound. "It hurt at first but then it felt so good to the point that I lost control. I couldn't even think and I am always thinking. I actually had an orgasm, I mean I think I did I've never had one before so I can't really be sure but it felt so just indescribably good." She kind of giggles.

"_I'm going to have to go to church after this because I am having violent thoughts of hurting this guy because he brought her to orgasm! I hate this guy because he gave her pleasure and I want to be the one to bring her pleasure and I know envy is a sin." _I think and Clare keeps talking.

"Is that what sex feels like? So rapturously good that you cease to think? If it feels so good why is it considered such a sin? Does it feel that good?" She asks.

I take a deep breath so that I calm myself before I answer her, I don't want her to think I'm mad at her, I could never be mad at her.

"For guys sex always feels pretty amazing for girls it hurts at least the first few times but it feels good too. I'm not a girl so I can't like give you a firsthand account or nuthin' but I know especially the first time it isn't very comfortable for the girl and sometimes just extremely painful." I tell her.

Her face kind of falls and she bites her lip again. "Alli hated her first time, she said it was painful and gross and she didn't want to touch Johnny afterwards."

"There are ways to make it better for the girl, less painful and it does get better it won't always be painful." I assure her because she looks sort of sad now and I hate to see her sad.

"Did you? Make it better for the girl I mean." She says.

I sort of hang my head and shake it slowly. "I was a jerk back then Clare you know that. I was messed up and caring about the girl and her needs just didn't occur to me. I'm not like that anymore I'm not a jerk."

She puts her fingers under my chin and makes me look up at her. Her eyes are sparkling and like smiling at me and she has the sweetest softest smile on her lips and I want to kiss them so bad. Her skin is still touching mine and it's making my flesh tingle everywhere.

"I know that Fitz I know you're not that guy anymore and I know you feel remorse for ever being that guy." She tells me in the softest most angelic voice I have ever heard. She takes her fingers away and we're silent for a few minutes and we rock back and forth in the swing a little and then she looks at me again. "Thanks for talking to me Fitz about all of this. I would normally talk to Alli about this or maybe Jenna but Alli's away at camp and even if she was here I couldn't tell her, she'd have to meet Jay and then she'd freak. Jenna and I are friends but I don't feel like we're such good friends I could ask her these things. It's been really nice to have you to talk to and confide in so thanks." She smiles.

Then she leans forward in the swing and touches her lips to my cheek and my body trembles and when she takes her lips away I can still feel them against my skin.

"I'm just glad you feel comfortable talking to me." I confess to her.

"Honestly I've felt more comfortable with you than Adam and Eli and the others. Adam's my best friend but when I go to see him it's always an inquisition about me and Jay. Eli is my ex so talking about my new boyfriend in front of him is just disconcerting especially given how our relationship ended and his play and everything. Drew, Owen and Bianca are not even my friends really, that is I barely know them. Katie I guess is my friend, we worked together on the paper all year and I know her pretty well but we never hung out off the paper or anything. Yet all of them feel the need to ask me about Jay and I feel like they're judging me and they haven't even met him. I know that hiding my boyfriend is bad but I like him a lot and he's good to me and he makes me feel really good you know. Yet I'm afraid of anyone meeting him because…" she stops and kind of laughs and then takes a breath, "I'm rambling sorry. I just wanted to say thanks for being here for me."

"I will always be here for you Clare." I assure her and she gives me the best smile.

"You look tired you need to get home and rest, you've been up since what four?" She asks and I nod. She gets up from the swing and pulls at my hand. "Come on you need to get home, you're tired."

"I'm o…" I start to argue but she cuts me off.

"No arguments Mark you need to go home. I should get home for dinner anyway." She insists.

"You called me Mark again." I say as we start walking back to the car.

"I know I did it on purpose so you would know I'm serious. Sorry I know you hate your name." She apologizes.

"You know when you call me Mark I don't hate it so much." I tell her and I see her bite her lip and smile.

We walk back to the car and I drive her home and she kisses my cheek again before she gets out of the car. I wait until she's inside before I drive away and all I can think about on the way home is that her lips touched me twice in like an hour!

**(CLARE)**

I go into my house and hear Glen talking and then Jake's voice on the speaker phone and I freeze in the entry but they must have heard the front door close.

"Clare is that you?" Glen calls.

"Yeah." I say coming out to the living room.

"You're mom has a late meeting and won't be home for dinner but there's lots of leftovers from last night." Glen tells me.

"Oh." I nod as I hear a girl giggling over the speaker phone.

"Jake and I were just talking about the wedding we're thinking of a picture cake with the four of us." Glen tells me.

"You know from our first dinner together." Jake adds over the speaker phone. "Hey how is Adam? Dad told me." He says.

"_I know I didn't love him so why does hearing his voice hurt so much?"_ "He's good, doing a lot better. So you at the cabin now?" I inquire.

"Actually I'm in town right now having dinner with some old friends and Dad called." Jake tells me and that explains the giggling girl in the background.

"Cool umm I actually was invited to dinner at Adam's and to spend the night again. I just came home to pack a bag can you tell my mom?" I ask Glen.

"Out again you just got home, we've barely seen you." Glen says.

"I know but Adam can't use that arm and I just really want to be there for my friend. Seeing him on the floor in all that blood was so scary and I just feel better being there to help." It's all true but I'm mostly just saying it so Glen will let me out again and just to clinch it I turn on the water works.

"Oh of course I understand, I'll tell your mom." Glen says quickly.

I go upstairs and can hear Glen and Jake talking again, about me now and Adam I think I can't really make out what they're saying. I throw my PJ's and a change of clothes into my backpack then go into the washroom to grab the essentials and call goodbye as I walk out the door. It's nearly five so Jay should be off now and I pull out my phone to call him.

"Hey Babe what's up?" He asks.

"I'm sleeping at your place can you pick me up where you usually drop me off?" I request.

"Of course Beautiful are you okay you sound upset." He says.

"Jake called and I know it shouldn't but hearing his voice just upset me and I'll just feel better when I'm with you." I tell him.

"I'll be right there Babe I'll make you feel better and forget all about that asshole." He tells me.

"Thanks." I say and hang up. I see Jay's car a few minutes later and I get in.

"I thought you were over that prick?" Jay questions as he begins driving again.

"I am but I hadn't talked to him since he broke up with me and I don't know it just hurt, he had a girl with him and I hate to admit it but I was jealous. I am over him, I wanted to get out of there and be with you." I assure him.

We're silent until we get to his place. "You want a drink I actually went shopping." He says.

"Did you get food? I haven't had dinner." I tell him.

"Yes I got food too; I can make you a burger." He offers.

"Thanks." I smile.

He makes me a burger with fries and everything and gives me a bottle of something purple and bubbly to drink that I think is soda until the after taste of alcohol hits me. I don't even mind, it tastes good and the thought of getting tipsy is kind of appealing right now. Jay puts on a movie and sits on the sofa with me. When I finish my burger he takes my plate to the sink and brings me another purple soda thing that I now see is called a wine cooler.

"I'm sorry it bothered me to hear Jake's voice. I do feel better being with you," I tell him as I lean on him still sipping on my wine cooler.

He puts his arm around me and kisses my head. "It's okay he did break up with you on traumatic night and it was just a few days ago. As long as I'm the one that's making you feel better." He tells me.

"I feel much better." I nod as his hands begin roaming a little and my body trembles.

I drink my second wine cooler much quicker than my first and Jay gets up and bring me another one and as much as I know I shouldn't I drink that one too. After I drink that one and set it on the table I feel very light headed, giggly and fuzzy.

"You know you seem tense after hearing Jake's voice, the best thing for relieving tension is an orgasm." He tells me and all I can do is giggle. He picks me up over his shoulder and takes me into the bedroom laying me on the bed. He looks at me and smiles as he takes off his shirt and then straddles me on the bed. "Now let's get you out of those clothes."

**Update soon**


	6. Accused of Love

**Ch. 6 Accused of Love**

**(JAY)**

I lay her on the bed and then realize that her dress zips in the back. So I pull her up again by the front of her dress and she giggles. I unzip her dress and pull it over her head dropping it to my floor. Putting my arm under her lower back to lift her from the mattress just slightly so I can unhook her bra and now that her breasts are exposed I can't help but playing with them. Pinching her nipples lightly and she giggles again, then licking them and kissing around her breasts. Then I start kissing down her belly, she giggles a lot but when I reach her panties I hear her breathing hitch. I pull her panties down her legs slowly kissing her flesh as I go and she goes back to giggling. I drop them to the floor and go out to turn off the lights in the living room.

"Jay it's dark now." She giggles as I close the bedroom door and now it's almost completely dark, there's only a little light from the street lights coming through the blinds.

"Don't worry I'll protect you from the boogie man." I tease as I pull my shirt off.

She just giggles again as I finish getting my clothes off, I get back on the bed straddling her and I lean forward to kiss her. My hard cock grazes her belly and I'm dripping with pre-cum, I hear her gasp a little and her hands shoot to my shoulders.

"Jay what…" she starts timidly but I cut her off with a kiss.

"I told you I'd make you forget about Jake didn't I? Remember how good my fingers felt?" I ask as I start kissing her neck.

"Yeah but it hurt a little bit too and sex has to hurt more." She argues.

"I'll loosen you up Babe don't worry." I soothe her.

I kiss down her belly again and I feel her squirm just slightly as one of my hands clasps at her breast. I pause at her clitoris a minute to flick it with my tongue and suck on it. She gasps again, squirms and then moans. I sit up and urge her legs apart, she's still resistant so I put my thumb on her clit and begin rubbing gently and she starts moaning again. She relaxes and her legs part allowing me to lift one over my head so her legs are spread and I'm now between them. I keep toying with her clit as I scoot down and slip my tongue into her pussy. Her breathing hitches and then is released in a moan. I lick up her sweet nectar and swirl my tongue around to stretch her a little and to get her aroused and close to climax. I know exactly what I'm doing and soon she's clutching at the sheets, her hips buck and she starts moaning in one long chain and when she stretches my name into six syllables I know she's close and I pull my tongue out of her but keep rubbing her clit. She whimpers and whines and I know I have her.

"Don't you want to feel me now? Don't you want my dick inside of you?" I bait her as she writhes on the bed.

I can just make out her breasts heaving and shaking as her body moves, her breathing hard and I can see she's biting her lip as she thinks; she must still be scared so I bring my cock to her pussy lips and gently tease her entrance with the head of my cock.

"Do you want me inside of you?" I ask again as she moans.

"Y…yes." She exhales in almost a whisper, it's still timid and slightly unsure but that's all I needed to hear.

I begin pushing into her, she makes a noise somewhere between a gasp and moan. Fuck she's tight but it feels marvelous, she's good and wet but fucking tight! I emit a guttural moan at the feel of her all around me. I go in a little farther and she whimpers, her hands coming to my arms and she squeezes. I bend down a little to kiss her belly as I keep sliding into her slowly. She whimpers again and makes a pained cry so I stop about half way into her, she's squeezing hard on my arms and I see her biting her lip. I move a little and kiss her as I start pulling out a little faster than I went in. She kisses back for a few seconds but then gasps and pulls away. When I'm out to the head I thrust in again a little faster this time and slightly farther but not too much; I don't want to break her.

"It hurts." She cries.

"I know gorgeous, it's your first time and you're really tight." I say with a sort of pleased grunt as I begin pulling out of her again.

I kiss around her neck and move a little, she whimpers in pain again but then moans a little when I start rubbing her clit once more. Her hips start bucking again a little, her cries a mixture of soft moans and loud painful whimpers. Between her cries, watching her writhe, her breasts bounce and shake and the fucking fantastic feeling of her tight pussy I'm ready to explode. I stop rubbing her pussy and thrust faster and faster and then I climax and release. I pump her a few more times as I finish out my orgasm and then I pull out of her and collapse on the bed. She makes a few noises, her body lurches and she turns on her side curling up a little.

"You were fucking fantastic Babe. You taste and feel so amazing." I tell her as I pull the blanket over us then turn over and put my arm round her. "I love you." I tell her as I kiss the back of her neck.

"You do?" She asks in a quiet voice.

"Of course I do Babe, we just made love didn't we?" I yawn.

She doesn't reply or maybe she does and I didn't hear her because I fall asleep a within seconds.

**(CLARE)**

After taking hours to fall asleep I wake up a little after nine. Jay is gone to work already, I sit up slowly, my head is pounding and I hurt in other places too. I'm still naked and I know Jay is gone but I still put on one of his shirts before going out to the washroom. I grab the bottle of aspirin from the medicine cabinet and take three of them. Then I grab my phone and call Fitz, he should be on his lunch and since he answers right away I know he is.

"Hey what's up?" He asks in a happy tone.

"Hey I'm sorry to bother you, you're on your lunch aren't you?" I ask.

"Yeah are you okay?" He inquires and his voice is concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine but you think you could give me a ride to Adam's?" I question.

"Sure no problem, are you at home?" He inquires.

"No you remember that apartment building you dropped me off at once?" I query.

"Oh." He says in a curt voice. "Yeah I'll be there in ten minutes." He tells me.

"Thanks Fitz I'll meet you outside." I say and hang up.

I grab my bag and change my clothes glad that I brought some, I think Jay is right about keeping clothes here; I've spent more nights here than at home this last week. Once I'm dressed I go into the washroom and brush my hair and such then lock his apartment as I leave and go downstairs leaving the building just as Fitz pulls up. The aspirin hasn't kicked in yet and I'm trying to walk normally but I'm not quite succeeding.

"Spent the night at Jay's place again I see." Fitz says in a slightly harsh tone as soon as I'm in and buckled.

"I hadn't meant to I was going to sleep at home but then Jake called and there was a girl in the background and I got jealous and I shouldn't have gotten jealous it was stupid. I have Jay now and I don't feel that way about Jake anymore but I got jealous and I went to Jay's and we…" my sentence trails off as I'm not sure I want to tell Fitz about last night.

He looks away from the road to look at me. "Got drunk? You're hungover again. Is that why you were walking funny?" He asks.

"Uh yeah." I nod.

Just before we pull up to Adam's the aspirin kicks in and I get some relief.

"You okay?" Fitz asks as he pulls up to the house.

"I'm fine, just tired and hungover. Thanks for the ride." I smile.

"Anytime Clare, I'm on till three if you want to talk or call me later." He tells me.

"I will Fitz thanks." I get out of the car and wave to him.

I go through the basement door to see the gangs all here and they all look at me as I enter.

"Got another ride from Fitz I see." Owen comments.

"And hungover again." Bianca adds.

"Your mom called about twenty minutes ago and asked if you were any trouble last night." Adam says giving me a look.

"Yeah sorry about that but you know my mom she would flip if she knew I was sleeping at my boyfriend's house." I say as I sit down.

"You're sleeping at your boyfriend's house?" Katie questions.

"At least her purity ring is still on." Eli says eyeing my finger.

"_Yeah but it shouldn't be." _I think as I bite my lip and look away.

"Okay well I have to get home to help my Mom. It was good to see you Clare. Bianca don't you have like community service or something you need to do?" Katie asks as she gets ready to leave.

"Nope, not today." Bianca smiles.

Katie gives her a look, kisses Drew and then says goodbye to the rest of us as she leaves. For a short time I sit on the sofa next to Adam as the others talk and I think about Jay and last night, over analyzing as always. Then as though he could read my mind my phone rings and it's Jay. At the sound of my ringtone everyone stops talking and looks at me, I grab my phone and head for the stairs.

"Hi." I answer as I ascend the stairs.

"Hey Beautiful you still at my place?" He asks.

Now that I'm on the first floor I go into the washroom and lock the door just to be sure there are no prying ears.

"No I came to Adam's, I got a ride." I tell him.

"How's your head? You had quite a bit to drink last night." He says.

"I borrowed some aspirin, my head feels better." I say slowly.

"You sure? You sound kind of sick. You aren't regretting last night are you? You know I love you right?" He asks.

"No, I mean yes I know you love me and no I'm not regretting last night." I say the last part slowly as I honestly don't know what to think. It all feels a little surreal, all but the pain that feels very real. "I just…I'm really sore…down there." I confess.

"Oh I'm sorry Babe; we just have to work on getting you loosened up more. It won't always hurt and stretching you out will be fun. You gonna be okay today? You want me to come get you and take you back to my place?" He offers.

"No I'll be fine and I have to sleep at home tonight." I tell him.

"Okay tomorrow's my day off again, I'll call you in the morning." He says.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow bye." I reply.

"Bye Babe love you." He says and hangs up.

I leave the washroom and find Bianca in the kitchen.

"The guys wanted sodas and apparently I'm the maid. You okay?" She asks closing the fridge and looking at me.

I look at the older girl with raven curls, I barely know her but I can't talk to Alli even if she wasn't at science camp or Jenna and all my other close friends are guys. If Darcy wasn't in Africa I could talk to her but she is so right now talking to Bianca seems like the best option.

"Can I ask you something sort of personal, actually very personal?" I query.

She looks at me sort of studying my face. "What's up?" She shrugs.

"B WHERE'S OUR DRINKS?" Owen yells up the stairs.

"HOLD ON A FUCKING MINUTE!" She yells back and then looks at me expectantly waiting for me to ask my question.

"Don't take this the wrong way but you're not a virgin right?" I ask a little timidly hoping I don't offend the other girl.

"No I'm not, haven't been in quite a while." She sort of laughs and starts walking to the stairs. "Why?" She asks when we're almost to the stairs.

I grab her arm and keep her from walking down. "Your first time was it painful?" I ask.

"Yeah hurt like a…" she stops talking looks at me, her eyes go wide and her eyebrows go up. "Clare did you? With Jay? When?" She sort of whisper yells.

"Yes last night." I nod.

"You've been dating this guy for like three minutes! I thought you were waiting until marriage?" She snaps but keeps her voice low.

"My beliefs changed after my parent's divorce but I was going to wait for the right guy." I tell her.

"Was? Did he rape you?" Bianca accuses pulling me into the living room a little so we can talk a little louder.

"No, I had a lot to drink and I was upset about Jake and he said he would make me feel better and forget about Jake. Then he…with his tongue and it felt really good and I was really close and then he stopped and asked if I wanted to and…" I start to explain but she cuts me off.

"Wait! He got you drunk, got you going and then stopped when he had you all hot and horny and asked if you wanted to have sex after teasing you?! HOLY SHIT CLARE!" She yells.

"WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON UP THERE?" Eli yells up the stairs.

"AND WHERE'S OUR SODAS?" Hollers Drew.

"KEEP YOUR FUCKING SHIRTS ON!" She screams back and looks at me. "You guys were at least safe right? Did he wear a condom?" She questions.

With the hangover and the pain the prospect of safe sex hadn't even occurred to me. I feel tears at the corner of my eyes and I shake my head slowly.

"I don't think he did. Oh god what if I'm pregnant?" I cry.

She grabs my hand and we walk downstairs, the guys all looking at us, Bianca drops a six pack of sodas on Owen's lap.

"What was going on up there?" Adam queries.

"Clare and I have some girl stuff to do be back later." Bianca informs them grabbing my purse from the sofa and handing it to me.

"What kind of girl stuff?" Drew asks.

Bianca ignores them as we leave the Torres house and get into her car. She drives to the closest pharmacy and we get out.

"You're sixteen right?" She asks as we enter.

"Yeah." I nod.

"Okay here condoms go purchase them and meet me at the car when you're done." She instructs handing me a pack of condoms.

I take the condoms to the counter and buy them, I'm pretty sure the cashier is staring at me but I'm not really paying attention. I take the bag and go out to Bianca's car, leaning on the passenger side until she comes out. She unlocks the car and we get in and she hands me a bag and bottle of water.

"Morning after pill, take it now." She instructs.

I open the bag and take the pill from it's wrapping and swallow it with a sip of water. "Thanks Bianca." I say with much appreciation and relief in my voice.

She gives me a kind sympathetic smile. "You need a prescription if you're under seventeen which is why I got it. Always keep a few condoms in your purse, if he has any amount of respect for you he'll wear one at least until the birth control takes effect. That's where we're going now, the clinic to get some birth control. If you're going to be sexually active now you have to be on birth control. What about STIs?" Bianca asks.

"He went to the clinic and he doesn't have any STIs. I went with him so I know for sure." I tell her.

"At least he had the sense to do that for you." Bianca says as we pull into the clinic parking lot.

We go into the clinic and Bianca signs me in and helps me fill out the form. We wait for almost an hour before they see me. I'm nervous so Bianca comes back with me, the very nice lady doctor does a full exam and then goes over with me about the pill and how to take it and I get a bunch of pamphlets on safe sex. When we get back in the car I stuff everything including the condoms in my purse as we drive back to Adam's.

"Bianca thanks for all of this, my mom would kill me if she knew and I wouldn't feel right talking to Jenna about this." I tell her as we pull up to Adam's.

"Don't worry about it." She smiles.

"You won't tell them or Katie will you?" I ask pointing inside.

"No I won't tell any of them." She assures me.

We walk inside and the all the guys look at us even pausing the video game to do so.

"Where did you two go?" Eli asks.

"I told you we had girl stuff to do." Bianca shoots back as we sit down.

"What girl stuff?" Owen inquires.

"Girl stuff Owen, it's none of your damn business." She snaps at him.

Bianca hangs out until almost three and then she says she has to get home.

**(FITZ)**

I was getting ready to end my shift when Bianca came in heading straight for me with a determined look on her face.

"Hey B what's up?" I ask.

I've know Bianca even longer than Owen, we were causing trouble together back in grade seven but she turned her life around just like me and Owen.

"Hey you're off in a few minutes right?" She questions.

"Yeah just getting ready to end my shift why?" I ask.

"Meet me in my car when you're done." She instructs and then walks out.

I shrug, she was cryptic but she looks determined, something's on her mind. I finish what I need to, say goodbye to the other employees, go out and get in Bianca's car.

"Okay what's going on? You in trouble or something?" I question.

"Not me, you've been talking to Clare a lot recently haven't you?" She asks.

"Yeah." I shrug.

"How much do you know about this guy she's dating, Jay?" She asks me.

"_That's what this is about, what did he do to her?" _ I think. "Not much, I've never met the guy or nothin' but I seen him once when he dropped her off. I didn't much like the look of him. She says he's got his own apartment and a job and she tells me he treats her good." I inform Bianca.

"How sure are you on that last one?" She questions.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I promised her I wouldn't tell Adam or any of them but I didn't say anything about you and I really think somebody else should know. I tried to talk to her but I don't know her that well and she…" Bianca is rambling so I cut her off.

"B what is it?" I ask loudly.

"He took her virginity last night Fitz." She tells me.

"HE WHAT?!" I exclaim in shock.

"He got her drunk, then got her worked up by eating her out to the point that she was almost ready to cum and then he stopped suddenly and asked her if she wanted to have sex. To me that borders on rape! The guy didn't even use a condom at least she didn't think so." Bianca informs me.

"I'll kill him!" I say in a harsh tone and start getting out of the car but Bianca grabs me and pulls me back in.

"Fitz that's not going to solve anything. Look I took her to the pharmacy and got her a morning after pill and made sure she took it. I made sure she got condoms and took her to the clinic to get birth control. I just wanted you to know so you can talk to her, I mean I barley know the girl but she's sweet just horribly naïve." Bianca says.

"Yeah I know." I sigh.

"Thanks for looking out for her B. I'm kinda surprised she told you." I comment.

"I was too but Alli's gone and even if she was here I don't think Clare would have told her. She said she didn't want to talk to Jenna about it. She's very secretive about this guy and anything having to do with him." Bianca sighs.

"She talks to me about him; I guess she figures I have no one to tell." I laugh a little.

"As long as she talks to someone, I gotta get home before my aunt I just thought you should know." Bianca tells me.

"Yeah thanks B, see ya." I say and get out of the car.

She waves and drives off and I walk to my car driving home while I think about how this Jay prick that's seven years older than her basically tricked her into losing virginity.

**(CLARE)**

"I better get home." I say when the clock rolls around to four.

"You're coming over tomorrow I assume." Adam remarks.

"Of course Adam." I smile and then stand up but the aspirin has long since warn off and the sudden movement hurts. "Ow." I whimper quietly but apparently not quietly enough.

"What's wrong?" Asks Adam and the others look at me.

"Uh my foot fell asleep." I lie as I try to stand in a comfortable position while my whole pelvis hurts and throbs.

"I'll take you home, I should get going too." Owen says.

"Thanks Owen." I smile.

I wave goodbye to others and leave with Owen, he eyes me the whole way to my house and I know he has questions but he doesn't say anything and I'm glad since I don't much feel like answering questions. When we reach my house I thank Owen again for the ride and wave to him as he drives off. No one's home yet and I go up to my room to hide all the stuff I got today. When I was twelve and Darcy was dating Spinner she showed me her secret hiding spot in the closet and that's where I stash all the stuff because my mom would kill me if she knew. Then I take a hot bath and some more aspirin and by the time Mom has dinner ready I feel better, physically anyway.

"Are you alright Clare? I barely see you all week and when we finally get you for dinner you hardly touch your plate and you seem far away and deep in thought." Mom says about half way through dinner.

"Sorry Mom I guess I'm not that hungry and I just have a lot on my mind that's all. Can I be excused?" I request going up to my room.

"Are you sure you're alright Clare?" Mom asks again.

"Yeah I'm just tired; I didn't get much sleep last night." I tell her.

"Alright why don't you get some sleep." Mom says.

"Thanks goodnight Mom, good night Glen." I say as I get up from the table, putting my plate on the counter.

"Goodnight Clare." They say in unison and then start laughing.

I roll my eyes, go upstairs and get ready for bed, I get in bed but I can't sleep. I lay there for a few hours, I toss and turn, close my eyes and open them again and my brain won't shut off. I even try reading for a couple of hours but after staying on the same page for five minutes because I'm thinking and not reading I decide to shut the book. I just keep thinking about Jay, about last night, I'm so confused. I should have talked to Bianca more but she doesn't know about the age difference and I couldn't have told her. I definitely can't tell Jenna and Alli's away, Adam would freak but there is one person I can talk to and he does know all about Jay's age and everything. I pick up my phone and call him.

"Hullo?" He yawns in a sleep graveled voice.

I look at my clock and realize it's nearly eleven, I woke him up and he has to be at work in six hours. Now I feel terrible I wasn't thinking at all.

"Oh Fitz I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry, go back to sleep." I say quickly.

"Clare are you okay?" He asks and he sounds more alert now.

"I'm fine I just couldn't sleep, I wanted to talk but you have to be up in a few hours. Go back to sleep." I insist.

"Didn't I tell you to call me anytime? What's on your mind?" He asks.

"My mom's asleep I can't talk here. Could you pick me up? Could we go to the secret spot with the swing again? If you're too tired…" I start but he cuts me off.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." He says.

"I'll meet you outside." I smile.

Having an older sister that would sneak out to meet her boyfriend was very useful, because I know how to make it look like I'm still in bed sleeping. Mom's asleep but just in case she wakes up and decides to check on me. It's summertime but it's night so it's fairly cold therefore I put on jeans and a baby blue shirt and my denim jacket. I grab my purse; phone and slip on my ballet flats at the door then open it quietly and lock it behind me. I sit on the front step and wait for Fitz, a few minutes later I see his car park across the street so I go over and get in.

"Thanks for this Fitz I'm sorry I woke you up." I tell him when I get in the car.

"Don't worry about it, I told you to call me anytime and I meant it." He smiles as we start driving.

"I know but I still feel bad you have to be at work in a few hours." I apologize.

"I'm just glad you called." He replies.

We drive the rest of the way in silence and he parks in the same spot as always. It's very dark out, especially when we get into the trees but Fitz had the foresight to bring a flashlight and he holds my hand for the whole hike. I can hear the gentle water from the stream before we reach the spot. I sit right on the swing when we get there, I'm sore again so it's not very comfortable but Fitz starts pushing me gently.

"So how come you couldn't sleep?" He asks.

"I couldn't stop thinking." I tell him.

"Bianca came to talk to me this afternoon." He confesses to me.

"She did?" I question and then I hop off the swing and look at him. "Fitz you didn't tell her about…"

"I didn't say anything about his age, I promised you I wouldn't." He assures me.

"Oh, good." I reply, taking hold of the ropes for the swing just below his hands. "How much did she tell you?" I ask.

"That you had sex, probably unprotected sex but he had you so drunk you can't be sure. That not only did he get you drunk first he tricked you into having sex." Fitz says in a hard voice and accusing tone.

"Fitz he didn't trick me." I contend.

"Clare you were drunk and Bianca said he went down on you to get you horny and worked up and as soon as you were he stopped and then he asked you if you wanted to have sex! He knew you were a virgin Clare, he knew you weren't that experienced, he knew exactly what that would to you! He obviously wasn't gentle even now I can see how tender you are, how carefully you move. Was it even good for you at all?!" Fitz argues loudly, almost yelling.

I let go of the swing and turn my back to him. "Fitz that's not fair, you're making it sound like he raped me! I told him yes and it was my first time, Alli's first time wasn't fun for her either and Bianca said it hurt a lot her first time. Even you admitted that you didn't make it better for the girl. I may not be experienced but I'm not completely naïve I know guys get so horny they don't think straight or at all." I dispute.

"You're right I didn't much care how the girl felt but I was an ass back then Clare." Fitz points out.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to, he said he was sorry that it hurt." I tell him turning back to look at him and he's sitting on the swing now.

"Clare he's seven years older than you, it's against the law, he could be arrested. You have to hide him from all your friends. Like it or not he did pretty much trick you into having sex with him and you haven't even been dating for a week." Fitz argues.

"Yeah but I've known him since I was twelve." I remind him.

"And he was nineteen, Clare this guy is bad news." Fitz says in a scolding voice. "If he cared about you he would have waited until you were ready. He wouldn't have pressured you into it just a few days into your relationship!"

"Fitz you're not being fair, you're judging him without knowing him at all! You're making him sound like some kind of monster. Age is relative and a product of our modern society. A hundred years ago it was very common for girls a lot younger than me to marry men more than twice their age." I shoot back.

"That doesn't make it right Clare. Would Eli have ever done that to you?" He questions.

"No but it's not the same. Jay loves me, he told me and he's not a monster Fitz. He's sweet; he's good to me really. His place has been a haven for me these last few days and..."

"You're not going out with him just so you have somewhere to go besides home are you?" Fitz asks interrupting me.

"What? No of course not! I'm dating him because I want to. I know he's older than me but we have a good relationship. He's really a good guy Fitz I promise." I assure him.

"A relationship you keep feeling the need to defend." Fitz points out.

"Only because you keep attacking him." I shoot back.

He sighs heavily, sort of defeated like. "Okay look I get why you don't want to tell Adam or your other friends about your age difference and that's why you won't let them meet him but I do know so I can I meet him. I mean you keep saying he's such a good guy and all and he treats you well, so let me see it for myself. If he does treat you well then I'll drop it." Fitz stipulates.

I bite my lip and think about it for a minute. "Okay if it's alright with him. He has the day off tomorrow, well today. I'll ask him." I say and Fitz smiles.

"You want me to take you home now?" He asks.

"You can take me home if you're tired." I tell him.

"I'm okay, pretty awake now." He shrugs.

"You want to look at the stars, it's a clear night and I can show you all the constellations." I offer as I'm still not tired.

"Sure," he says with a smile.

He gets off the swing and sits on the ground with his back against the big rock. I sit next to him and look up the sky, I start pointing to stars and telling him the constellations and he listens, even asks a few questions and he seems pretty interested.

"Fitz do you ever think about coming back to DeGrassi?" I ask.

"Sure sometimes but I have to work and Simpson would never let me back and besides I'm dumb what's the point?" He says in a down trodden voice.

"Fitz don't talk like that!" I admonish. "You just need help, I could tutor you. If I talk to Mr. Simpson and he says you can come back will you?" I ask.

"Would you really tutor me?" He queries.

"Of course, you can't work at the Dot your whole life and I know you can do it." I assure him.

"I'll think about if Simpson says I can come back." He tells me, I smile and then shiver when there's a breeze. "Are you cold?" He asks taking off his hoodie and handing it to me.

"Won't you be cold?" I question.

"I'll be fine." He says with a slight smile.

"Thanks." I smile as I put his hoodie on; it's soft and warm and smells like him, like a mixture of coffee, sugar and cinnamon. Now that I'm all comfortable in his hoodie I find that I'm tired and I yawn.

"You want me to take you home now?" He questions.

"Do we have to go? I like it out here." I yawn again as I lie down on my side and use his lap for a pillow.

He puts on arm over me and his other hand starts stroking my hair gently. "We don't have to go anywhere." He says softly.

I smile and fall asleep quickly to the sounds of the stream.

**Update soon from round abouts here and in Fitz's POV.**

**Mansavage I hope my writing of Fitz still meets with you approval. We'll have more of his POV in the next chapter.**


	7. Close Call

**Ch. 7 Close Call**

**(FITZ)**

I looked at my phone and saw it was four thirty, I had to open and we needed to start heading back to my car but I hated to wake Clare up. She looked so beautiful and at peace when sleeping. Not to mention the fact that I was enjoying the feel of her sleeping in my lap and my arm around her but I can't be late. I take a deep sigh and start gently shaking her.

"Clare, wake up. Clare we have to go back." I say softly into her ear.

She yawns and stretches a little, rolling onto her back she blinks and looks up at me. She manages to be adorable, sexy and so very gorgeous all at once and I can't help but smile at her. I've never smiled so much as when I'm around Clare.

"What time is it?" She asks with another tiny yawn.

"Four thirty, I have to open so we need to start heading back." I tell her.

She sits up stretching again; I stand up and take her hands helping her up. She makes a tiny sound of pain as she stands and I put my hand at her back and look at her worried.

"I'm okay just sore still." She assures me with a smile.

I wish I could take away her pain and discomfort, make her feel better but I can't. I want to hurt Jay for hurting her so much, for not caring at all about Clare. She wouldn't like it if I did hurt him though, she swears he loves her and it's not as though I've never done that either but never to a girl like Clare. Not to mention this…guy of hers is seven years older her, he's twenty three, he should have grown up by now. I take her hand, grab the flashlight and start guiding us out.

"Should I take you home?" I ask when we're back in my car.

"I don't want go home, can't I just come to the Dot with you? I can help you open, the process can't have changed that much since Spinner was working there and Peter is still the owner." She says.

"Are you sure?" I question, knitting my eyebrows together since helping me open doesn't sound very fun to me.

"I'm sure, if Mom sees I'm not in my bed I'll tell her I woke up early and went to the Dot. She thinks I went to sleep early so she'll believe it." Clare tells me.

I shrug and drive to the Dot, the sun is just coming up when I park. I unlock the door and she follows me in, I lock the door behind us so no one comes in before we're open.

"I'll get the cash drawer while you start the coffee." She says.

"You can't get the cash drawer it's in the safe." I argue.

She turns around and gives me this smile, this beautiful smile that so entirely lights her face and makes her eyes sparkle. Even on so little sleep and the harsh lights behind the counter of the café she looks like an amazing goddess.

"I know where the safe is, I know where the key is and I know the combination." She tells me.

"How do you know all that? You never worked at the Dot." I reply.

"No not officially but two of the managers dated my sister and were like older brothers and the Peter bought the place." She says and disappears into the back.

I hear her greet the kitchen staff and then she returns a minute later with the cash drawer. She puts the drawer in the register and I make the first batch of coffee. She helps me open, she knows the whole routine and we finish early so I treat her to breakfast, lattes and pastries fresh from the oven, it's the least I can do for her help.

"So you'll talk to Jay about me meeting him right?" I ask.

She bites her lip and looks down a little but nods. "Yeah I'll ask him today. I can't bring him here though someone might see us together." She says.

"We can meet somewhere else; I know where his apartment building is." I shrug.

"No not there," she says quickly, "I…I don't think that's a good idea either. I'll talk to him and call you." She tells me.

"How's…how are you? I mean are still tender and sore?" I ask slightly uncomfortably.

"Yeah," she nods, "I hope it stops soon."

"We have some aspirin with the first aid supplies, I'll get you some." I offer.

"Thanks." She smiles.

I go to the back to get her some aspirin and when I come out she's clearing the table. I hand her the aspirin and she takes a bottle of water to take it with. She slides the water bottle to the other side of the counter and moves to go to the other side of the counter at the same time as I turn to start the espresso machine. We end up facing each other, her back against the counter my arm on one side of her and she stops and looks at me, her eyes are like glistening and she has the smallest of smiles, her hands go to my chest.

"_Oh god she's touching my chest, she looks so pretty, she's smiling and her lips look so perfect. I want to kiss her, it would be so easy and I want to kiss her so bad. God she's so unbelievably pretty, she can't be real, she has to be a goddess. Only she isn't mine so I can't kiss her." _Is all I can think while she's touching me.

To keep myself from kissing her I move out of the way and gently push her past me and flip on the espresso machine. She goes to the other side of the counter and sits down taking her water bottle.

"It's six do you want me to unlock the door?" She asks.

I look at the clock and realize she's right, I was so caught up with thoughts of Clare I didn't even realize it was time to open the door.

"Yeah thanks." I respond.

She goes and unlocks the door and flips on the rest of the lights and soon we're swamped with the early morning rush. Ray arrives with the rush, a few minutes late as usual. Clare stays the whole time, mostly watching me as I work and sipping her water. I actually have to keep myself from looking at her since every time I do I smile at her and stop to watch her for a minute which slows me down and the first time I stop and smile at her Ray hits my arm. At seven the rush dies down a little, just in time for my break.

"I should probably go home and change out of these jeans; it's starting to get warm." Clare says when I sit next to her.

"I'll drive you." I tell her.

"I can walk; I don't want you to use your whole break driving me home." She protests.

"It won't use my whole break and anyway I want to, so come on." I insist.

She smiles at me and we go out to my car and I drive her to her house.

"Thanks for the ride Fitz; I'll call you after I talk to Jay." She says, kisses my cheek quickly and gets out of the car.

**(CLARE)**

I wave to Fitz as he drives off and close the front door quietly.

"Clare is that you?" Mom calls from the kitchen.

Her sudden voice makes me jump. "Yes Mom." I call back as I come around the corner.

"You were up early Clare; I thought you were still sleeping." Mom says and Glen smiles at me.

"I went to bed so early I woke up early. I just walked down to the Dot and got breakfast." I tell them.

"Did we hear a car dropping you off? Who gave you a ride?" Mom inquires.

"Peter," I say quickly, "Peter gave me a ride on his break. I told him it wasn't necessary but he insisted." I tell them and hope that my mom isn't aware that Peter moved a few months ago.

Why am I not telling her that Fitz gave me a ride you ask? Because she knows that Fitz threatened Eli with a knife and got into lots of fights with him and Adam and I think that's all she knows about him. I simply can't explain it all to her this morning, there wouldn't be enough time before she left for work.

"That was nice of him." Mom says.

"Yes well you know how I'm kind of like a little sister to him. I'm going to shower." I tell them.

I all but run up the stairs and go into my washroom to shower. After a long shower I lie down on my bed and end up falling asleep again until Mom and Glen leave for work and the shutting of the front door wakes me up. By now I can head to Adam's so I get up, dress and get ready to go. After a block I regret walking, I'm still really sore and tender; I'm wearing a light summer dress since it seemed the most comfortable and least restricting thing to wear. The more I walk the slower I go and it took at least twice the time it normally does to walk to Adam's house from mine. As I pass the Dot I realize I could have asked Fitz for a ride but I've consumed enough of his time, after all I kept him out all night. I see that Audra and Omar have left for work already and I go to the outside basement door. It's unlocked but neither Adam nor Drew is down here.

"It's me." I call into the basement, there's no answer so I go up the stairs toward the living room. "Adam." I call as I open the interior basement door.

I open the door to find Drew on the sofa eating cereal, watching TV in nothing but boxers. I kind of gasp and then I stare, not at Drew exactly, I mean I am staring at Drew but I'm not admiring his mostly naked body so much as comparing him to Jay.

"See something you like Clare?" Drew says in a smug voice and I snap out of it.

"Sorry just wasn't expecting to see you like that." I apologize but with a scowl on my face and averting my eyes from him.

"Maybe if you hadn't shown up so early I would have gotten dressed." He retorts.

"Sorry I was up early and just came straight over." I tell him.

"What no breakfast at the Dot?" He asks in a slightly teasing tone.

"I did at about five thirty." I reply.

"Doesn't the Dot open at six?" He questions.

"Yeah well I helped Fitz open. Where's Adam?" I ask.

"Still sleeping, he was up late his arm was bothering him." Drew tells me.

"Oh I should go then and come back later." I reply.

"You can hang out and wait until he wakes up, Mom told me to wake him up no later than ten thirty." Drew shrugs.

"No that's okay, I'll come over later." I tell him and start walking for the door.

"You okay? You're walking funny kinda like you…Whoa! Clare did you lose…did you have sex?" Drew inquires in a loud and astonished whisper.

"Gotta go Drew, I'll come back later." I tell him as I reach the door, unlock it and leave.

"Clare hold it!" He calls after me even going outside but he doesn't follow me down the street as he's still in boxers.

I walk down a few houses and lean against a retaining wall for someone's house. I don't want to walk home again, I hurt too much and I definitely don't want to go back to Adam's to be questioned by Drew about the state of my virginity. Fitz is working but it's Jay's day off, so I call him and hope he's awake.

"Hey Babe." He answers in a groggy voice.

"Sorry did I wake you up?" I question in an apologetic voice.

"Yeah I was out late at the bar with some buddies but it's okay. What's up Babe?" He asks.

"I hate to bother you but could you pick me up?" I query.

"Of course Babe you know I don't like you walking by yourself. Where are you?" He asks.

"Near Adam's just a few houses down." I tell him.

I give him the address of the house I'm outside of and he says he'll be here in fifteen minutes. When his car pulls up I get in, he looks tired and he didn't brush his hair or put on a shirt. He kisses me as soon as I get in the car and like always I melt into the kiss, it's like his lips press some magic button and I just want more. He pulls away from the kiss after a minute to start driving and we go back to his place.

"I'm going to hop in the shower." He tells me when we get in.

He kisses me again before he goes to shower and then goes to the washroom and as soon as the door is closed my phone rings. I pull it from my purse to see Adam's smiling picture flashing at me and so I answer.

"Hey Adam."

"Drew said you were here early and ran out this morning. Is my brother that scary?" He asks.

"He wasn't dressed." I reply.

"Sorry he does that a lot just tell him to put pants on. So you at home?" Adam asks.

"No Jay picked me up I'm at his place." I tell him.

"Not from here, Drew said you ran out." Adam says.

"No I started walking and then called Jay to pick me up." I reply.

"Yeah Drew said you were walking funny." Adam remarks.

"I uh pulled a muscle; I'll come by later okay." I tell him.

"Sure, see you later Clare." Adam says and hangs up.

I put my phone in my purse and go to the fridge, he actually did go shopping and there's juice so I pour myself a glass, which I drink leaning against the counter because moving hurts. I finish, rinse the glass and put it in the dishwasher just as the washroom door opens and Jay comes out drying his hair and totally naked, not even a towel around his waist. I sort of freeze, feel my cheeks go red as I gasp a little and look away.

"You are so adorably shy, we've had sex," Jay smiles putting the towel around his neck and coming over to me, "I've been inside of you and you still look away and blush." He smiles taking the towel from his neck and puts it around my lower back, capturing me and pulling me to him so I'm pressed against him, the sudden pressure on my lower half is painful and I hiss in a breath. "What's wrong?" He asks and then kisses my neck.

"I'm just very sore and tender still…down there." I tell him.

"Sorry Babe, it won't always hurt, we just gotta keep doing it and stretch you out." He says as he picks me up. He carries me to the sofa and lays me down, hovering over me and kissing along my clavicle and even in as much pain as I'm in the way he's kissing me makes me quiver and I feel that tingling again. "You are pretty petite and I'm pretty big. You know I didn't mean to hurt you, you know I love you right?" He asks and then lightly sucks on my earlobe and my breathing hitches.

"I know, I love you too. Alli said it hurt her first time and Bianca too so I guess it's just normal for girls." I say.

"Yeah that must suck; it just felt great to me." He says while kissing along my exposed skin.

He lowers down a little and it puts pressure down there and I whimper and push him up a little. "Jay I think I need a couple days to heal." I tell him.

He gives me a disappointed look but gets off of me. "Alright I'm going to get dressed." He says and walks to the bedroom.

I sit up and switch on the TV; he comes out a few minutes later now dressed. He goes to the kitchen and pours himself a bowl of cereal then sits with me on the sofa of course since that's where he eats.

"Jay, my friend Fitz wants to meet you." I tell him when he's done with his cereal.

"I thought we weren't introducing me to your friends and what kind of a name is Fitz?" He questions.

"His last name is Fitzgerald so he goes by Fitz. We're not introducing you to most of my friends, actually none of my other friends but Fitz knows about our age difference. He's the only one and he wants to meet you." I explain.

"You actually told him how old I was?" Jay inquires.

"Yeah and he did kind of flip but I told him you were a good guy and you love me. He just wants to see you for himself, if he sees you love me and you're good to me then he won't worry. Please?" I request.

"Okay I'll meet him." Jay says.

"Thanks Jay." I smile and lean over to kiss his cheek.

He turns his head and catches my lips, the quick kiss quickly turns to making out and he leans me back on the sofa again. He's carefully supporting his weight off of me but his hand goes down the top of my dress to grab my breast and I gasp.

"Jay…" I start to protest.

"What? Your breasts aren't sore are they?" He questions with a very innocent looking puppy dog face.

"No but…" I try and he cuts me off again.

"Then let me feel them. I love you, I want to touch you." He says it in a sort of pleading way, there's an ache in his voice like he's in pain and touching me is the only relief and I give in.

"Okay." I nod.

He smiles, pulls me up a little to unzip my dress and pull it down a little, then he unhooks my bra and takes it off dropping it on the floor. Now that my breasts are exposed he moves sitting back up and pulling me with him. We reverse so that he's lying back and he puts me on his lap. It hurts a little and I hiss in pain but he adjusts me until it's mostly comfortable. He's propped up a little against the arm rest and he pulls me down so we can make out again, his hands quickly go to my chest and he fondles my breasts. I lose track of time and it's not until my stomach growls sometime later that we stop.

"Guess I better feed you." He says pushing me up a little, the movement hurts but then he envelopes one of my nipples in his mouth and sucks lightly then does the same to the other. "You better heal fast because I want to fuck you again real bad." He says in a husky tone as he helps me off his lap.

"It sounds so vile when you say it that way." I frown.

"Sorry, make love to you again." He corrects himself tipping my chin up to kiss my lips and then kisses my neck. "There's sandwich stuff in the fridge, be right back." He says going into the washroom.

I know he's going in there to take care of the fact that he got turned on during our make out/fondling session and a part of me feels like I should offer to take care of him or at least help but I am so very sore. Besides which I wouldn't have the first clue what I was doing. After putting my bra back on and fixing my dress I go to the fridge and get out stuff for a sandwich. I have to admit he did a surprisingly good job of shopping, I remember Spinner and Peter's fridges being mostly frozen pizza and soda but Jay actually got real food and even a good variety.

Jay emerges from the washroom just as I'm sitting down to eat. I eat my sandwich and we watch TV, when I finish my sandwich he puts his arm around me and I lean on him. Knowing that Fitz is off at two when it's almost two I tell Jay we should go down to meet him when he gets off work. We drive down and he parks out back and we wait for Fitz to come out, which he does a minute later. He comes out the back door and smiles at me before giving Jay a hard look, sizing him up carefully.

"Fitz this is Jay, my boyfriend. Jay my friend Fitz." I introduce them.

"Nice to meet you." Jay says smiling and extending his hand to Fitz.

"You too." Fitz says taking Jays hand and gripping it tightly.

They aren't really shaking hands, more like trying to outgrip each other and they're kind of staring each other down. I shoot Fitz a warning look and he releases Jay's hand and gives me a look that's a mixture of apology and something I can't quite place.

"So Clare says you two are good friends." Jay says in an odd tone and his arm comes around me tightly.

"We are." Fitz answers giving him a harsh look. "She tells me you're twenty three, so what are you doing with a sixteen year old girl?" Fitz questions.

"Fitz!" I admonish and Jay's arm gets tighter around me.

"Clare is no normal sixteen year old." Jay says turning my head to him so he can kiss me.

Jay kisses me quickly but I get the feeling that it's more of a show than an actual desire to kiss me. This is more awkward than I had anticipated, the guys are…very tense for some reason, it's beginning to remind me of some of the confrontations Fitz had with Eli at the very beginning of the year. I decide I better step in, after all they did meet and that's all Fitz said he wanted So when Jay breaks from the kiss I look at Fitz.

"You look tired Fitz; you should go home and get some sleep. I just wanted you two to meet." I insist.

"Yeah I am tired; I didn't get much sleep last night." Fitz says looking at me. "See you around Clare." He says in a sort of sad tone yet curt tone.

He walks to his car and drives away quickly and I watch him go with an almost guilty feeling. I don't have time to think about it though because Jay grabs my arm, whirls me around and pushes me against his car a little roughly. His eyes are narrowed and he looks very menacing.

"How do you know him?" Jay demands.

"I told you, he's a good friend." I tell him a little nervously.

"He has the hots for you Clare." Jay states.

"What? No. I mean he used to have a crush on me but that was months ago." I assure Jay.

He squeezes my arm a little harder and leans over me on the car. "A blind man could see that he still has a crush on you." Jay says in a hard tone.

He's starting to scare me and I put my hand on his chest hoping he'll calm down.

"Jay you have no reason to be jealous of Fitz, he's just a friend. I'm with you but you're starting to scare me. Fitz is just a friend and we only became friends recently." I assure him.

He studies my face a minute and looks like he's about to say something but his phone rings. He pulls it from his pocket and looks at the caller ID before answering I know he's talking to another guy but I only hear his side of the conversation.

"Yeah…yeah sure…the fuck were doing there…okay we'll be there in a couple minutes…we're down the street actually…me and my girlfriend…yep see you in a minute." Jay says and hangs up, then looks at me cupping my face with his hand. "I didn't mean to scare you Babe, I just love you so much I can't stand the thought of losing you to some other guy." He tells me.

"I love you too and you're not. You have no reason to be jealous of anyone." I tell him.

"Not even Jake?" He questions with his lips very close to my neck.

"Not even Jake, especially not Jake he's about to be my stepbrother." I reply.

"But you were jealous and angry when he called and you heard a girl in the background." He reminds me.

"Yeah but then you took my virginity and I all but forgot about Jake." I say.

He gets a pleased smile on his face and kisses my neck. "I did take your virginity and you belong to me forever now. Shouldn't this be mine now?" He asks picking up my hand and spinning my purity ring on my finger.

"Technically yes but if it comes off my finger my mom would have a meltdown. Not to mention my friends would see it off and flip out. I think I better leave it on my hand for now." I say.

"I guess you're right. Get in the car we have to go to DeGrassi that was my buddy Emmet on the phone. He was playing basketball at DeGrassi and his car won't start, he wants me to come look at it." Jay tells me.

We get in the car and make the quick drive to the school Jay parks next to the basketball courts and his friend's car under the shade of a tree. Emmet eyes me as we pull in and get out of the car.

"This must be the girlfriend, very nice Hogart. How old is she?" He asks.

"Eighteen, Clare Emmet, Emmet Clare." Jay does introductions. "Let's look at your car." Jay says.

Emmet pops the hood of his car and Jay starts looking at it. I open the door to Jay's car and get my sunglasses from my purse. I close the door again and lean against the car as I put on my sunglasses to protect my eyes from the bright summer sun. Emmet tries to start the car and it makes a sputtering sound and Jay comes over to me.

"This could take a while Babe, why don't you relax." Jay says taking me by the waist and lifting me to the roof of his car.

I twist my mouth at him but lay back on the roof of his car as there's little else to do. After a while of lying on the car even in the shade, I'm starting to get hot and then I hear voices out toward the football field. I sit up and look over to see Drew and Owen walking toward the field, Drew has a football so I'm guessing they came to toss the football. Drew looks over and stops when he sees me and I turn my back and look at Jay.

"Jay get me down please." I say anxiously.

"My hands are all covered in grease Babe, Emmet get her off the car but touch her somewhere you shouldn't and I'll break your hand." Jay warns him.

Emmet comes over and helps me down and I look back, toward Drew and Owen. They're talking and looking over here, I better go run inference before they decide to come over.

"I know those guys; I'm going to go say hi." I tell them.

Jay looks up and over to the boys and comes over to me, leaning over me and bringing his mouth close to my ear.

"Who are they?" He whispers and then kisses my neck.

"Guys I go to school with I really don't know them that well but one of them is Adam's brother and if he comes over here then Adam will find out and he's my best friend. I'm just going to go over there to keep them from coming over here." I tell him in a low voice.

He looks over at them and back at me. "Okay but you better come back to me when you're done." He tells me.

"Jay, you're not jealous of them, I barely know them." I say.

He kisses me long and more forceful than usual, like he's staking his claim on me with the kiss alone. Still I melt into it and kiss him back; he pulls away after several minutes and reminds me to come back to him as I start walking towards Drew and Owen.

**(DREW)**

Owen called and asked if I wanted to toss the football around at the school so I walked down to meet him.

"How's Adam?" He asks as we start walking to the field.

"His shoulder was bugging him last night so he didn't sleep much. He starts physio in a few weeks though." I tell him.

"Physio's gonna suck but it's worth it." Owen tells me.

"Yeah I think he'll just be happy to use that arm again. I wouldn't have left him but he had lots of visitors." I say.

"I'll take you home when we're done and hang out for a while." Owen tells me.

I nod but I'm distracted by a girl on the roof of a car, she looks at me and looks away quickly. "Is that Clare?" I ask pointing over.

Owen looks over just as the girl gets taken off the car by someone but she looks back over here through a car window.

"Looks like Clare, who's she with?" Owen asks.

"I don't know they look like they're working on that other car and they look older than her." I say slowly.

The orange two door is keeping us from having a clear view but we can see the two guys as their heads go above the cars roof. One of them, the one with darker hair gets very close to her and then it looks like he's kissing her.

"Is he kissing her?" Owen questions.

"It looks that way." I say but I'm not really sure and making out in public doesn't sound like something Clare would do.

We watch for a minute and then they stop, she starts walking over to us and the guy with dark hair says something to her but we're too far away to make it out. She walks to us with a smile and waves when she's close but we're both trying to process what we just saw, I do notice that she's still walking stiffly.

"Hey Drew, Owen." She says with an uncomfortable smile.

"Clare. Who are they?" Owen asks.

"I just met one of them, the other is a friend." She tells us.

"He looks a lot older than you, how do you know this friend?" Owen questions.

"He's my sisters friend actually we uh ran into each other and were talking about my sister since he hasn't seen her since she left. Well then he got a call from his friend that his car broke down and we came to help but I got bored what are you guys up too?" She asks.

She talks fast really fast and as an experienced liar I know she's not telling us the whole truth if not outright lying. I exchange a look with Owen and he doesn't believe her either.

"It looked like he was kissing you." I remark.

"No talking, that's all." She says quickly.

"What's his name?" I ask.

"Jason, his name is Jason." She tells us.

This she at least sounds certain about, me and Owen look back at the two guys.

"So can we meet them?" Owen asks.

She looks kind of scared at this suggestion and grabs our wrists pulling us toward the football field. "We really shouldn't bother them. You brought a football I assume you were going to play catch or something. Let's go do that, I'll watch." She tells us

"You want to watch us toss the football?" Owen questions in a disbelieving voice.

"Yep." She responds quickly.

"Uh huh so Clare, you ran out awfully fast this morning. The way you're walking did you lose your virginity?" I question just as we reach the edge of the football field.

She stops and lets go of our wrists and keeps her back to us but I see her biting her lip. I don't know her that well but I know her well enough to know she does that when she's nervous.

"Holy shit! You? St. Clare lost her…wait is that what Bianca was yelling about yesterday morning? What girl stuff did you two do yesterday?" Owen asks.

"No offense but I barely know either of you so discussing my brand new sex like with either of you is not going to happen." She informs us.

"So you did lose your virginity, to your boyfriend I assume? This Jay you won't let anyone meet." Owen states.

"Yes to my boyfriend and again I'm not discussing this with you guys." She replies.

""You're still wearing your ring." I point out.

"Yeah because my mom would have a global meltdown if she knew. How do you think Adam or Eli would react if the ring was suddenly missing? Look Bianca knows and so does Fitz but please I am begging both of you not to tell anyone else." She requests.

"Okay not telling anyone, mostly because I barely believe it myself." Owen says slowly and Clare looks at me.

"Won't say a word but mostly because I'm afraid of sending my brother into shock." I tell her.

"Thanks." She smiles.

"Wait so you told Fitz?" I question.

"Technically Bianca told Fitz and I didn't tell Bianca either I asked her a question and she figured it out." Clare informs us. We hear two cars starting up and she looks back and we see both cars taking off. "I should probably get home, see you two later. Tell Adam I'll come over tomorrow, kay bye." She says quickly and starts walking toward the street.

She's walking slow and we could go after her but I guess we're both just in shock. I know Clare a little better than Owen, because she hangs out with Adam so much and he talks about her but she seems to have completely changed in the last few days. Clare Edwards is the last girl I would expect to lose her virginity to her boyfriend only a few days after they've been dating, especially a guy she won't let anyone including my brother meet. As far as I know she really doesn't have secrets from my brother.

"That was weird. So we gonna toss the football?" Owen asks.

"Yeah, go long." I tell him and get ready to throw.

**(CLARE)**

I walk away from Owen and Drew as fast as I can, making it past the bus stop where they can't see me. I lean against the wall to take a breath and recover a minute until Jay's car pulls up and I get in.

"What were you talking about with those guys?" Jay asks in a harsh voice.

"Not much I was mostly trying to keep them from going over to you so they wouldn't figure us out. They aren't exactly the brightest crayons in the box but I didn't want to risk it. One of them is Adam's brother and he would have told Adam." I tell him.

"You seemed awfully friendly with them." Jay says in a harsh and almost accusing tone.

"I hardly know them, I just didn't want them to come over and start asking you a bunch of questions. If my mom found out or even Audra, you'd be arrested Jay! I don't want that to happen. If you go to prison you will lose me." I point out.

He smiles, puts his hand behind my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. A long, forceful but passionate kiss, there's definite wanting behind the kiss and of course I forget everything else and just dissolve into the kiss. Again wish I could make everyone feel what I feel when he's kissing me and then they would understand.

"Let's go home." Jay says as he starts driving.

"I have to go home Jay to my house. I've barely been home in a week and yesterday I hurt too much to really be present when I was home. My mom's going to start suspecting something." I insist.

"But I have to go back to work tomorrow Babe." Jay says running his hand up my leg.

"I know but I have to be home when my mom gets home. I can try to come over tomorrow when you're off. It's Saturday so if I'm home all day then I can probably go out that night and I'm sure my mom and Glen will be going out." I tell him.

"Fine I'll take you home, rest up and heal but I better see you tomorrow night." He says, his hand going up the skirt of my dress and I pull it out.

He gives me a look but drives me home, dropping me at my house since no one's home yet. He kisses me goodbye quickly but reminds me that I have to stay the night tomorrow. He drives off and I go inside and up to my room. At five my mom calls and tells me she and Glen are having dinner at a restaurant they are thinking about having cater the wedding and won't be home until around seven. Since I have a couple hours to myself there's someone I want to talk to and I call him.

"Hey my mom's out to dinner, you wanna come over? I can cook unless you're too tired." I offer.

"I'll be over shortly." Fitz yawns and I think he was napping.

We hang up and I go downstairs to make us dinner.

**Update soon, starting with Fitz's POV and the dinner. There will be more from Adam, Owen and Drew and possible some more Jay POV.**

**For those of you that read it Reese Returns update will be up today as scheduled, I was hoping to get my Reese one shot up today as well but it probably won't happen until later in the week.**


	8. How Can You Like Him?

**Ch. 8 How Can You Like Him?**

**(FITZ)**

I parked a couple houses down from Clare's; my car looked very out of place in this neighborhood it's not like everyone had BMW's and Ferrari's but everyone had much nicer newer cars than mine. I rang the doorbell and waited a few seconds, Clare opened the door and smiled at me sweetly. Her smile made my heart melt; just the slightest movement of the corner of her lips and smallest parting of them and it lit her face and brought this like radiant beauty to her. She's wearing the same dress as earlier but she has an apron on, one of the ones that just goes to her waist, it's lacey around the edges and see through. It's hot and my guy mind instantly pictured her naked in it and then I quickly shook that thought away.

"Hey come on in, dinners almost ready." She tells me, opening the door more and moving so that I can come in.

"It smells really good." I compliment as I walk in and instantly get hit with the scents of lemon, rice and chicken.

"I made chicken piccata, rice and salad." She tells me, closing and locking the front door again.

"Can I help?" I offer not wanting to just sit around while she cooks.

"You can set the table, plates are here and glasses next to them, the silverware's in the drawer there." She says pointing as she goes to the stove and checks the rice.

I walk into the kitchen and get down two plates and two glasses taking them to the table. I grab silverware from the drawer and napkins from the table setting them down by the plates; I also get two bowls for salad.

"There's juice, milk and soda and the fridge to drink, get whatever you want." She tells me.

"Okay." I reply going to the fridge.

"Are you mad at me?" She asks.

I turn around to look at her; she's stopped cooking and turned around to face me, leaning back against the counter on her hands. I know I say this a lot but god she looks beautiful! She's biting her lip, looking down a bit, her sparkling blue eyes look just a little bit sad. My instinct or maybe my male hormones tell me to grab her and kiss her but she's not my girlfriend, she's someone else's girlfriend and even though I don't trust Jay and I don't like him I wouldn't do that to her.

"No why would you think I was mad at you Clare?" I question her.

She turns around for a second to turn of the stove and turns back to me again. "It's just you asked to meet Jay and after I introduced you to him you seemed mad. You walked off and got in the car and drove away with hardly a word and I just…would hate it if you were mad at me." She confesses and bites her lip.

I could never be mad at her, not for anything and it kills me that I caused her a seconds pain for thinking I was mad at her.

"No I'm not mad at you Clare. Look I know I said I wanted to meet Jay and I did but I still don't trust the guy." I tell her.

"Fitz." She says in a scolding tone and turns around again.

I step forward putting my hand on her shoulder and getting her to look at me. "I know you swear that he loves you and maybe he does, I don't know I only met the guy for a couple of minutes. He's seven years older than you Clare, it's not right. I only saw him for a couple of minutes, you swear that he's good to you and he loves you but I didn't see that. I'm just looking out for you Clare; I just don't want you to get hurt." I tell her.

She smiles again and kisses my cheek softly; this tiny touch makes me feel better than anything else I've ever done with a girl. I want to tell her to leave him, to be with me that he's going to hurt her, that I was right about Eli and I'm right about this guy but I'm afraid she won't listen. I'm afraid she'll push me away and feel like I'm meddling or repeating what I did with Eli. I can't look out for her if she pushes me away, she won't talk to me either then and the others don't know about Jay, not like I do. I'd rather watch her from afar and be around if she needs me then lose her, again.

"Dinners ready." She says.

She takes the salad to the table and some salad dressing and I get us a couple sodas from the fridge to drink, then we get our plates and get food. She sits down next to me at the table and smiles at me and I want this moment to last forever.

"This is amazing! You're a great cook." I compliment after taking a bite, I'm not just being nice either the food is some of the best I've ever had.

"Thanks but I can only make a few dishes really well." She replies. We ate in silence for a few minutes and then she looks at me again. "Have you thought about coming back to DeGrassi some more?" She asks me.

"I don't know I'm not smart Clare. I wasn't doing that great in school before Vegas night even when I did bother to show up for classes. Besides I'm sure no one wants me there." I tell her feeling bad now.

She reaches over and takes my hand on the table, it sends like this jolt of electricity through me, just the act of her taking my hand.

"That's not true Fitz, we all forgave you. You wouldn't be feuding with Eli and Adam anymore, you might not be the best of friends but I'm sure they wouldn't mind having you back. Anyway I want you there and I'll help you with whatever you need. You're not dumb; I refuse to believe that we just need to find a way for it all to stay with you." She insists.

She takes her hand away and I almost feel empty just losing the feel of her hand on mine.

"You really want me there?" I ask.

"Of course I want you there Fitz." She smiles at me.

The words I want you, coming from her lips are like the best things I've ever heard. I know she doesn't mean them the way I want her to but it doesn't matter she said them and I heard them in her voice and it'll stay with me for days just repeating in my head.

"We're friends now, good friends and this coming year can only be better if you're at DeGrassi with me." Clare smiles.

I had no intentions of ever going back to school; I didn't exactly really go to school when I was going. It just seems pointless to me, the whole school thing for someone like me, someone who will never amount to anything better than coffee boy. For people like Clare who will grow up and be something and make the world better I'm sure school is great, I always just saw it as a waste of time. However she just convinced me it's like the best idea ever; suddenly I have all sorts of mini day dreams of the two of us at school next year, hanging out, having lunch, her helping me with me homework. Then again I would do anything for this girl and I mean anything, if she asked me. She could ask me to step off the top of the empire state building and I'd do it because she wanted me to. Love is dangerous.

"Besides Bianca and Owen will be there and you guys are still friends and they aren't bullies any more either. You guys all turned your lives around." She reminds me.

"Okay I'll come back to DeGrassi but we have to convince Simpson to let me." I remind her.

"I'll go tomorrow and talk with Mr. Simpson, I'm sure he'll let you back. We could go over together when you get off of work." She suggests.

"Tomorrow's my day off, first Saturday I've had off in a while." I tell her.

"Then we'll go over together, in the morning say ten?" She asks.

"Sure, I'll pick you up." I tell her and she smiles.

We finish eating in relative silence and then I help her clean up by putting away the food and clearing the table.

"You know Jay thinks you still have a crush on me." She remarks as she's washing dishes. I'm putting the leftover rice in a container and I don't say anything. I hear her turn off the water and turn around. "Mark." She says my first name softly and I have to turn around and look at her.

"Yeah I still like you." I admit looking at my shoes. _"Not just like you, I love you am like in love with you." _I add silently in my head and wish I could tell her.

She takes off the dish gloves and comes over to me, putting her hand on my arm and I look her in the eyes.

"You never said anything, after I broke up with Eli, before I got together with Jake, you never even tried." She says, sounding surprised and sort of hurt or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.

"After the last time I was at your house and how things ended with you and Eli, I just figured you needed some space. I kind of figured I was the last person you wanted to talk to about your break up with Eli and I also figured I was like the last guy that you wanted to hit on you. I didn't want you to hate me for trying and I know I'm not good enough for you." I tell her.

She's silent for a minute biting her lip and I look away but then she touches her fingers to my chin and makes look at her again.

"Fitz don't…" she starts and then stops abruptly turning her head as if listening for something. "Oh my god my mom's home, you have to go my mom will freak out if she finds you here. She doesn't let boys come over when I'm alone and she still thinks your bad and I wouldn't have a chance to explain it to her. Go out the back and I'll meet you at the Dot at ten tomorrow." She commands walking me to the back door.

"Thanks for dinner." I tell her when we stop at the back door.

She smiles stands on her tiptoes and I think she's going to kiss my cheek but instead she gives me a very quick and tiny peck on the lips.

"Yes you are." She says as we here the front door open.

I'm still stunned from the kiss, it was the quickest, softest kiss I've ever had but it was the best one too. I can still feel her lips on mine and I'm sort of frozen but she opens the back door and kind of pushes me outside, shutting and locking the door behind me. I get my senses back enough to walk to my car anyway. I just sit in my car for a long time thinking about the kiss and Clare and the whole night.

"_I wonder what she meant by the last thing she said? Yes I am what? Wait could she mean I am good enough? Is it even remotely possible that a goddess like Clare Edwards said I was good enough to be with her?"_

I smile and drive home happier than I've been in a very long time.

**(ADAM)**

"Sweet pizza." My brother comments as he and Owen come in the basement door having just got back from tossing the football around.

"I told Mom you guys would be coming back here that's why she ordered us four. Have fun?" I ask.

"Yeah it was cool." Drew shrugs as they both sit down and grab slices.

"Hey I meant it as soon as your arm gets better we'll take you out with us. We'll get that arm strong again by school." Owen tells me.

"Thanks man." I nod.

"You should have called me, I would have come." K.C. says.

"Sorry dude, next time." Owen shrugs.

"I would have come too." Connor says.

"What do you know about football?" Drew inquires.

"Connor knows a lot about football actually. Was there anyone else there?" Wesley asks.

Drew and Owen are silent and stop eating to exchange a look with each other.

"What?" I ask.

"No one else was there to play with us but umm Clare was at the school." Drew says.

"What was Clare doing at the school? She doesn't play sports and even she can't love school that much." Remarks Imogen.

"She wasn't there for school, she wasn't alone." Owen tells us in an interesting tone and with an interesting look on his face.

"Who was she with?" Eli asks.

"Yeah we're all here and Alli's gone, Jake's gone oh was she with Jenna?" Fiona inquires.

"Not with Jenna, she was with two guys." Owen says slowly.

"What guys?" Eli questions.

"We don't know. Does she have any older friends?" Drew asks looking at me.

"Uh Eli, Katie." I shrug.

"Older and guys." Owen says.

"Peter." Eli adds.

"Sav." I add.

"Older than Sav, maybe older than Peter." Owen says.

"She's friends with a bunch of people that knew her sister; they're all older than Sav, most of them older than Peter." I tell them.

"Yeah didn't she say the one guy was friends with her sister?" Owen asks Drew and he nods.

"What guy?!" Eli demands.

"When we got to the school there was a girl sunbathing on the top of a car, it was Clare. She saw us and this older guy got her down and there was a second guy he was older too and he…it looked like he kissed her. She told us they were just talking though, then she came up to us. She told us one of the guys was a friend of her sisters that she ran into and she was talking with him about her sister since he hadn't heard from her." Drew is telling us when Owen cuts in.

"Yeah she said the other guy was his buddy and he called to get some help with his car. She was secretive though and wouldn't let us go over there and meet them. She told us the one dudes name was Jason." Owen tells us.

"Jason doesn't sound familiar but I don't know all the names of her sister's friends." I say and look at Eli.

"I've never heard of a Jason." Eli shakes his head.

"More people she won't let anyone meet and more people she just ran into." Bianca remarks quietly but we all hear her.

"What do you mean?" Connor asks.

"Her new boyfriend," Bianca replies.

"What? New boyfriend but she and Jake just broke up at prom!" Fiona exclaims.

"Yeah and she ran into the guy Saturday night and on Sunday night they started dating. She won't let anyone of us meet him but apparently she's known him since she was twelve so it's fine." I tell them saying the last part sardonically.

"Wait Jake breaks up with her at prom and the next night she has a new boyfriend that none of you have met? She waited like six months after I broke up with her to go out with you." K.C. says to Eli.

"Yeah and even after me she waited a couple of months before she and Jake became official. I was surprised too; I'm more worried that she won't let anyone meet the guy." Eli remarks.

"I'm more concerned that she had sex with this mystery guy after only dating for a few days." Owen says.

"Yeah me too." Drew nods.

The room suddenly falls very silent; everyone freezes and looks at Owen and Drew.

"**SHE WHAT?!**" Pretty much the entire room exclaims together.

Drew and Owen exchange a guilty look with each other.

"Oops we weren't supposed to tell you guys that." Drew says.

"Yeah we promised her not to say anything; she's not going to be happy." Owen says sheepishly.

"Nice going morons, at least I can keep a secret." Bianca says.

"You knew?" I question as we all look at Bianca.

"Yeah yesterday morning, she was asking me questions and I figured it out." Bianca tells us.

"So wait that girl stuff you two did yesterday morning was what?" Owen asks.

"Was none of your damn business Owen unlike you two I can keep secrets." Bianca snaps back.

"No way Clare would not have sex, she would barely kiss me." K.C. exclaims.

"She and I never got past making out either." Says Eli.

"Yeah but you went crazy and crashed your car to try and keep her." Owen comments.

"After her parent's divorce I knew she didn't have the same belief of waiting until marriage but I didn't think any guy would get her to give up her virginity for a long time." I state in disbelief as the fact that my sweet best friend was no longer a virgin is still sinking in.

Bianca makes a sound that says she doesn't agree with something I just said but she doesn't reply.

"Well you said she's known the guy since she was 12 right? It's possible they've been friends and she felt really comfortable with him. Maybe he just knew how to talk to her, said all the right things." Imogen says and Bianca makes another scoffing noise.

"Imogen has a point, I hate to admit it but I've smooth talked a few girls into favors." Owen says.

"Yeah and Bianca convinced Drew to cheat on Alli." Fiona adds.

"Oh please like it's hard to convince a guy to let you do something sexual to him. Their brains are all focused on sex like every three seconds anyway." Bianca laughs.

"Yeah especially Drew." I tease and he throws a crumpled napkin at me.

"No guy could talk Clare into having sex." K.C. says and Eli nods.

"Hey just because you two couldn't get anywhere with the girl doesn't mean some other guy that's known her longer couldn't convince her. I'm still concerned but it's possible." Owen says.

"She did get pretty hot and heavy with Jake, they snuck away to make out a lot." Fiona tells us.

"Clare is not the type of girl to just fall into bed with a guy after going out with him a few days, I don't care how long he's known her or how smooth a talker he is." Eli states.

"I agree with Eli." K.C. nods.

"I don't think there was much talking involved," remarks Bianca.

"What does that mean?" Eli asks.

Bianca doesn't get a chance to answer as my mom comes down the stairs.

"K.C. your mom's here." Mom says.

"We have to go," K.C. says standing up with Wesley and Connor. "We'll come over tomorrow morning, Dave is coming too he's back from his cousins house tonight. Clare is coming over tomorrow right?" K.C. asks.

"Probably although she said she'd be over today but didn't come back after my brother scared her off." I tell them.

"I didn't scare her off and she told me to tell you she'd be over tomorrow." Drew says.

"Good." K.C. says then he, Wes and Connor go up the stairs and wave.

"We should go too, we'll come back soon." Fiona says and she and Imogen stand up.

"Yeah I have to get home too but I'll be over in the morning." Bianca tells us, getting up and hugging me goodbye.

"So what did these guys look like?" Eli inquires now that it's just the four of us.

"We couldn't see them too well. One had dark hair, one had light hair and they looked like they were five years older than her." Drew tells us.

"If she slept with Jay then we need to meet him. When she gets here tomorrow I'm going to demand she let us meet him." Eli says.

"Yeah that'll go real well Eli, her ex that crashed his car and wrote a play for her demanding to meet her new boyfriend." Owen points out.

"Owen's right but I agree with you, we know nothing about this guy and she's had sex with him after dating for what three days? That's not right, I don't like it." I say.

"Yeah I don't really know her but Clare is literally the last girl ever I expected to hear lost her virginity at all let alone after dating some guy a couple of days." Owen states.

"Yeah I have to agree there." Drew nods.

The four of us hang out for a while longer, eating and thinking about Clare and occasionally making comments about her. At ten my mom comes downstairs and tells Eli and Owen they need to go home, Owen says he'll give Eli a ride and they both say they'll come over tomorrow. Mom reminds us lights need to be out by midnight and goes upstairs.

"Drew I'm worried," I confide in my older brother.

"About what?" He asks.

"Clare. It's not like her to keep secrets and having sex! Alli or Jenna, even Imogen having sex a few days after dating someone I mean I'd be a little surprised but not shocked. She's…I don't know, Jake broke her heart and last Saturday was hard for her and I get that but this isn't like her." I tell him.

He gives me a sympathetic smile putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing in a comforting way. "Hey don't worry little bro, we'll watch out for her all of us, Bianca and Owen too. She can't keep this guy a secret forever and she's over here almost every day between all of us we can keep her out of trouble." He assures me.

"Yeah." I nod smiling at my brother but I'm still worried about my best friend.

**(CLARE)**

I get to the Dot at exactly ten and the summer sun is already beating down and baking the world, even in shorts and a short sleeve top I'm sweltering. I see Fitz parked outside and I go get in his car.

"I could have picked you up at your house." He tells me.

"My mom and Glen are home, planning the wedding." I inform him.

"Right and your mom thinks I'm a terrible person and wouldn't let you go anywhere with me." He says in a hurt tone and I look at him.

"Fitz it's not…look my mom is pretty strict and she just doesn't know you. She's not real big on second chances; I just don't want to fight with her about letting me spend time with you. She's so consumed with this wedding and moving Jake and Glen in that I can't explain it all to her right now and I'm not even sure I want to honestly but not for the reason you think. It's because I like having you as my sort of secret friend, secret confidant that I can call at any time. Besides my mother's kind of scary." I explain.

He smiles a little and picks up a to go cup from the Dot in his cup holder and holds it out to me. "It's lemonade, you look hot," he says as I take the cup and then he blushes a little and corrects himself. "No I mean from the weather, hot because it's hot outside not you know hot. Not that you don't look hot because you do look hot, attractive hot but you always look attractive hot." He says quickly and I giggle, he clears his throat and starts again. "So uh where's Simpson's house?" He asks.

I give him the address and he drives over there as I finish his lemonade. He parks outside, we get out and I ring the doorbell. Mr. Simpson opens it a minute later and gives us a strange look.

"Clare what a surprise and Mr. Fitzgerald I don't even know what to say." Mr. Simpson says letting us in. "So what can I do for you?" Simpson asks.

"We wanted to talk to you about Fitz coming back to school." I tell him as we sit down in the living room.

"You want to come back to school Fitz?" Mr. Simpson asks in a dubious tone.

"Well Clare convinced me giving school a second chance would be like a good thing for my future and stuff." Fitz says.

"It would mean a lot of work, you'd have to pass an equivalency test for grade ten and then you'd be going into grade eleven like Clare, so you'd be a year behind your friends. You'd have to be on your best behavior, one incident would mean immediate expulsion." Mr. Simpson tells him.

"Yes sir, I understand." Fitz nods.

"I can help him, I'll help him study and pass that test and have him ready by the start of school." I assure Mr. Simpson and Fitz.

"Well okay then. I believe I have the books you'll need for the equivalency exam around here somewhere. Wait here a minute." Mr. Simpson says getting up from the chair he was in and going upstairs.

"Thanks Clare." Fitz smiles at me.

I'm going to reply when the front door opens and Mrs. Simpson-Nelson comes in with their son Jack. She smiles at me and then looks at Fitz curiously.

"Hi Clare." She says.

"Hi this is Fitz." I introduce them.

"Nice to meet you ma'am." Fitz says.

"Just call me Spike, everyone does. It's nice to meet you Fitz, what are you kids doing here on a Saturday?" Spike inquires.

"We came to talk Mr. Simpson about letting Fitz come back to school." I tell her.

"Oh well that's good. How's your sister Clare?" Spike asks.

"Good still in Africa, she e-mails about twice a month but that's all we hear from her. How's Emma and Spinner?" I question.

"They're doing well, they might come out at the end of August if they do I'm sure they'd love to see you." Spike says.

"I'd love to see them too, haven't seen them since the wedding." I say and then Mr. Simpson comes back down the stairs carrying two large books.

"Hi honey," Simpson greets his wife. "Okay here you go. You'll have to take the equivalency exam by the fifteenth of August." He says handing the books to Fitz.

Fitz takes the books but looks a little daunted. "Uh thanks." He says.

"We should go, I should go see Adam." I tell them standing up and pulling Fitz's arm so he'll get up too.

"Connor said Adam's doing well, he left a little while ago with Dave to go over there." Mr. Simpson says.

"Yeah Adam's doing good, he'll be glad to use his arm again." I tell them.

We say goodbye and go back out to Fitz's car, he tosses the books in the backseat.

"There's no way I'll learn all that by the time I need to take the test." Fitz gripes.

"You don't need to learn all of it Fitz, you already know most of it I'm sure. Anything you don't know you can learn by then, I'll help you remember? We can start today after I visit with Adam for a while." I assure him.

"You sure you want to spend your Saturday tutoring me?" He asks.

"I'm sure Fitz." I smile.

"I'll drop you at Adam's then." Fitz smiles brightly and starts driving in the direction of Adam's.

"Why don't you come in to Adam's with me?" I suggest when he parks in front of the Torres house.

"Are you sure it's okay?" He asks.

"Why not? They know we've been talking I don't think it'll be a problem." I assure him.

He smiles a little and gets out of the car with me, we go to the basement door and everyone looks over when I open it. The basement is pretty full today, aside from Adam and Drew there's Katie, Bianca, Owen, Eli, Connor, Dave, Wes and K.C.

"Hey sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. Fitz gave me a ride over and wanted to say hi and see how you are." I tell everyone.

"Hey Fitz." Adam and Eli up nod at their former tormentor together.

"Yo." Says Owen.

"Fitzy, you get the day off?" Bianca asks and Fitz nods.

The others just sort of look at him.

"Hey guys," Fitz says closing the door behind him. "You look better Adam."

"Yeah doing good." Adam says smiling a bit at Fitz and then looks at me again. "Clare did you have sex with Jay?" Adam asks in an accusatory tone.

I glare at Drew and Owen since I'm sure that Bianca didn't say anything and I know Fitz didn't.

"You told them?!" I admonish.

"Sorry it slipped out." Owen says.

"Clare you had sex?!" Dave exclaims. "Who's Jay?" He asks.

"Her boyfriend." Everyone else in the room informs him and I realize Connor, Wes and K.C. know about Jay.

"Boyfriend? What about Jake?" Dave asks.

"We'll fill you in later." Adam says.

"If you're having sex with this guy we need to meet him." Eli demands.

I throw up my arms and scream in frustration. "Oh my god I am not having this argument again!" I state and storm out walking back in the direction of my house.

"Clare wait!" Fitz calls after me.

"Clare!" Bianca calls.

Fitz catches me first and turns me to him, we're still outside the Torres house and Bianca comes up to us.

"You can't blame them for being concerned Clare and I didn't say anything about you and Jay having sex, that was all Drew and Owen those two idiots don't know how to keep a secret." Bianca tells me.

"Yeah I figured and I'm not mad that they're concerned. I just don't want to go through this again; I told them I wasn't ready for them to meet Jay." I respond.

"You're never going to let them meet Jay are you?" Fitz inquires.

"Maybe, eventually. You know how they're going to react Fitz. How can I?" I ask.

"Clare the guy got you drunk and basically raped you." Bianca says.

"He didn't rape me, I said yes." I remind her.

"After he got you drunk and horny." Bianca reminds me. "They're worried that's all even Drew and Owen and from what I know about this guy we have a right to be. You were like the chaste good girl of DeGrassi and then you lose your virginity after three days into this relationship? We want to know what kind of guy does that."

"Jay is a good guy, he is and he loves me. It's not like I've never let anyone meet him, Fitz met him yesterday." I tell her.

"Yeah I met him." Fitz nods and says in a harsh tone.

"So what's he like?" Bianca asks.

"He's…a guy. Clare swears he loves her and he's good to her." Fitz shrugs.

"Sounds so convincing, so why can't the rest of us meet him?" Bianca inquires.

"You swear that you won't tell anyone else?" I ask her.

"Yes." She nods.

"Swear Bianca, not a word." I assert.

"I swear okay, my lips are sealed I didn't say anything about you guys having sex I won't say anything about this. So what's the big deal?" Bianca asks.

"He's seven years older than her, the dude's 23." Fitz tells her.

"He's what? Clare?! I thought you said you've known him since you guys were 12?" Bianca questions.

"No I said since I was 12, he was 19 at the time. He was best friends with my sister's boyfriend." I tell her.

"Whoa wait a minute, the Jason guy Drew and Owen saw you with yesterday that was Jay wasn't it? You told them he knew your sister, Jay, Jason I don't know why I didn't figure this out before." Bianca says.

"Yeah that was him." I nod.

"Well you're right if Adam, Eli and the rest found out his age they would blow they're tops. I think Eli might physically attack him." Bianca says. "Just be careful Clare, this seems hinky to me."

"Hinky?" I smile at the girl.

"She promised to keep talking to me about him." Fitz tells her.

"Good me too, I won't tell the others but just talk to us and come to us if you need to." Bianca insists.

"HEY!" Katie yells from the door suddenly and we all jump and look over at her. "The guys promise not to bug you about meeting Jay anymore if you all come back inside." She says.

I take a deep breath walking back to the basement with Fitz and Bianca following me.

**(FITZ)**

We hang out at Adam's for a couple of hours, Dave gets the guarded back story that the others got about Jay. Every time someone brings up the fact that she like had sex she tells them she won't talk about it and threatens to leave. I really don't like thinking about Jay with his hands all over her, tricking her into drunk and painful sex so I'm glad she won't talk about it. I thought hanging out with Adam and Eli and Wesley and them would be awkward but it really wasn't that bad. They didn't seem to mind that I was there and they didn't give me a hard time for picking on them last year. We even told them I was going to come back to DeGrassi, Eli and Adam said it was cool and Bianca and Owen were happy. I did have to keep myself from just like watching Clare the whole time though.

"I gotta get Connor and Wesley home and K.C. has to work." Dave says standing up.

"Yeah I'm getting hungry we should go too and I'm helping Fitz study for his placement exam." Clare says standing up. She kisses Adam's cheek and waves to the others. "I'll be back tomorrow." She tells them.

I say goodbye and we walk out with K.C. and them, they wave as they get into Dave's car and we get into mine.

"You want to go to the Dot to help me study?" I ask her.

"I want to go to our spot but we can get sandwiches from the Dot." She says.

I smile and drive to the Dot and we order food to go. We park and walk down to the spot; I was smart enough to put a blanket in my car after the last time we were here. I spread the blanket out by the big rock and we sit down to eat.

"I know your probably not but I'm glad that Bianca knows about Jay, everything about Jay." I confess to her when I'm done eating.

"I actually am, I really don't know Bianca that well but she was really helpful yesterday and really nice about it. I know I can trust her not to say anything too." Clare tells me.

She gets out one of the books Simpson gave me and opens it, lying on her stomach and bending her knees up behind her, crossing her ankles and propping herself on her arms. God how is it possible that everything this girl does is like amazing! Like things I've seen other girls do a million times before, things that are just normal and boring and movements that people make a million times a day and no one pays attention to but like Clare does them and it's like I'm seeing it for the first time. Like watching beauty and perfection make this beautiful being and she moves like everyone else but like so much better.

"So you want to start with English?" She asks me but I'm distracted by the kicking of her legs and the small up and down movements of her chest as she breaths. "Fitz?" She calls my name and I look at her coming back to the moment.

"Huh oh yeah English is fine I guess, I suck at everything." I shrug.

"Fitz don't talk like that, you can do this. We'll start with vocabulary, I'll read you some words and you tell me what they mean." She tells me and I nod.

We spend an hour on English and the more we do the dumber I feel. I hardly know any of this at least that's how it feels to me.

"Can we take a break? Words are starting to like jumble in my head and sound weird." I tell her.

"Sure, you did really well." She smiles at me, standing up and going to the swing.

She sits down and I go behind her to push her. "Didn't feel like it I felt like I got almost everything wrong." I tell her.

"Fitz that's not true, you did well you got about 65% right." She says.

"That doesn't sound like passing." I remark.

"Fitz it's your first day, you haven't done school since December. We have plenty of time don't worry about it okay?" She tries to assure me.

"I told you Clare, I'm dumb this is pointless." I say.

She stops the swing when she comes back down and turns around to look at me. "Don't say that Fitz, you are not dumb if you put yourself down again I won't help you anymore." She insists.

"Okay I promise no more." I smile.

She stands up on the swing then bends down to kiss my forehead and I melt at her touch like always.

"Now come on lets get back to work." She insists hopping off the swing and pulling at my hand to get me back to the blanket.

Over the next few hours we study and take a few breaks always with me pushing her on the swing. We're taking out third break of the afternoon when her phone rings and she gets off the swing and picks up her phone.

"Hi…uh yeah I can probably come over tonight…no I have a ride…see you in a bit…I love you too." She says, hangs up and looks at me.

"I take it that was Jay and you have to go." I say when she hangs up.

"Sorry but we've been doing this all afternoon. If you don't want to take me over there then you can drop me at the Dot and Jay can pick me up." She tells me.

"No I'll take you, I should get home anyway I open tomorrow." I tell her but I don't want to stop, I don't want to leave her.

We pack everything up and walk back to the car, the drive is silent, awkward and uncomfortable silence. In my head I'm telling her a million things, like she shouldn't be with this guy, like he doesn't deserve her, like I love her. Nothing comes out of my mouth until I park in front of the apartment building.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" I question.

"Of course, we have to keep preparing you for the exam." She smiles and kisses my cheek.

She gets out of the car and I watch her walk into the building before I drive away. The only thing I can think about the rest of the night is Clare Edwards.

**Update Soon**


	9. Charm and Harm

**Ch. 9 Charm and Harm**

**(CLARE)**

I leave Fitz's car and go into the apartment building, calling my mom when the elevator reaches Jay's floor to tell her I'm spending the night with Jenna and will be home tomorrow evening. When I reach Jay's front door I can hear other voices inside, all of them male. I put my key in the lock and open the door to see Jay and five other guys, two of which I recognize from his work, they're all sitting at the poker table and seem to be ready to play poker.

"Hey there's my girl," Jay smiles coming over and crushing his lips to mine before I can say anything.

The door closes as he pushes me against it and I feel him locking it as he continues to kiss me. I can feel his friends watching us as we kiss and I'm starting to get uncomfortable. I push at him a little and he stops, backing up a step.

"You didn't tell me you were having friends over to play poker." I say quietly.

"It's just some guys from work and I missed you, can't I have some time with my girl and my friends. Come on you can be my good luck charm." Jay says.

He takes my hand and pulls me over to the table, the other guys are eyeing me very closely, even the two that previously saw me and I feel like I'm on display. All these guys are about Jay's age and I'm fairly nervous for some reason but I do trust that Jay will protect me.

"You remember Jordan and Tom and this is Aaron, Nate and Dale. This is my girlfriend Clare." Jay introduces me.

"Hi it's nice to meet you all." I say smiling timidly and staying close to Jay.

"Sexy jailbait very nice Hogart." Aaron says giving me a lascivious smile.

"Nah she's eighteen, not jailbait." Jay lies as someone else knocks on the door.

"Must be the pizza," Jordan comments going to the door to let the pizza guy in.

He pays for the pizza and sets it on the breakfast bar. The guys head straight for the pizza and each getting 2 or 3 slices and a beer from the fridge. When the herd is gone I get a slice myself and a soda from the fridge, glad that Jay went shopping. They all sit around the poker table and start playing and I sit on the sofa and eat at the coffee table.

"Come sit over here and watch Babe." Jay says.

"There's nowhere to sit." I remark walking over to the table and standing behind his chair.

He turns in the chair and stands up grabbing me by the waist, he lifts me up and sets me on the table between him and Nate.

"You get the best seat in the house." He smiles, kissing me quickly but passionately and tugging at my lower lip as he pulls away.

He sits down again, laying his arm over my leg so that I can see his cards if I look and I lean back on my hands. The guys continue playing Tom get's another round of beers for everyone and I'm getting bored.

"You gonna bet your girlfriend?" Aaron asks after he raises Jay's bet.

"Hey she's mine; you keep your hands off and your eyes in your head." Jay snaps at him meeting his bet.

"Maybe I should go home." I suggest quietly to Jay when they take a break and the others have left the table to use the washroom or get more beers.

"No don't go home; I haven't seen you all day. The guys will be gone in another hour or so and then it'll just be me and you. Anyway you promised to stay the night tonight." Jay reminds me.

Before I can protest or argue further he grabs my shirt lightly and pulls me down for a fevered, wanting and pleasing kiss. I melt into the kiss like always, the rest of the world melting away. When the guys start whistling we pull apart but he does pull me down into his lap.

"Maybe you'll be safer here." Jay says wrapping his arm around me and kissing my neck.

"I think we should play strip poker, I wanna see your girl's big tits." Nate says, in a drunken slur and I notice he's had four beers already.

Actually Jay's had three beers himself in the last hour and a half and working on his fourth, I hope none of these guys are planning on driving home.

"Hey if you can't watch your damn mouths I'll kick you out. I already told you Clare is mine." Jay barks at them and tightens his hold on me a little too much.

"Jay I can't breathe." I whisper.

"Sorry Babe." Jay apologizes kissing my jaw lightly and loosening his grip.

They play for another two hours stopping a little after ten.

"Should they be driving home? They've all had a lot of beer." I comment as the other guys get ready to leave.

"You guys okay to drive?" Jay calls.

"Yeah we're good; see you tomorrow, nice to meet you Clare." Tom smiles and they all wave as they leave.

As soon as they're gone Jay picks me up, lifting me in the air and swinging me around a bit, colliding our lips together as he brings me back down. Now that we're not being watched the kiss is more heated and passionate and lasts several minutes until we're forced to break apart in order to breathe.

"I won $300 tonight we should celebrate." Jay says setting me down.

He goes to the kitchen and gets down a bottle of liquor, something in a dark green bottle and a shot glass, pouring himself one and downing it.

"Jay don't you think you've had enough to drink." I scold him.

"Relax Babe I'm just celebrating, I'm happy. "You want some I can mix it with coke for you." He offers as he downs another shot.

"I think I should go home." I reply heading for the door but he catches me by the arm squeezing with too much force and jerking me back roughly.

"You can't go home it's late and you promised me you'd stay." He says in a hard tone and then kisses my neck.

"Jay you're hurting my arm and you're drunk." I tell him doing my best to keep my tone firm but it still comes out in a bit of a whimper.

He releases my arm; I take a shuddering breath and instinctually my other hand goes to the spot on my arm that is now throbbing. He grabs my shirt and waistband of my shorts and starts pulling me to the bedroom.

"Jay you're drunk and you're scaring me." I try to reason with him but it doesn't seem to register.

I try and get out of his grip but even in his alcohol impaired state he's still very strong. I'm struggling against him and pulling at his wrist to attempt to get him to let go of me but it's no use. Then he picks up over his shoulder and walks into the bed room with me.

"Jay!" I admonish but with a pleading tone.

I can feel tears at my eyes and I'm actually frightened that he's going to do something, that he's so drunk that he's lost all his senses and is really going to hurt me. He tosses me on the bed with so much force I bounce a little; he gets on the bed on all fours and straddles over me.

"Jay please you're scaring me." I plead, my voice losing more and more of it's resolve with each word.

Then his lips come to mine softly, his tongue gently sliding across my lips till they open for him. His tongue goes in gently caressing my tongue and I begin to melt into the kiss, relaxing a little. The longer he kisses me the more I relax until the fear is all but gone, when I exhale into the kiss and deepen it a little he pulls away.

"I'm sorry Babe I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't hurt you did I?" He asks.

"No I'm sure I'm okay just no more drinking tonight or I can't sleep here." I say firmly.

"Sure Babe, no more drinking. Let's go to bed, I've been dying to touch you." Jay says running his hand down my top to the buttons on my shorts.

He's about to graze me crotch when I grab his hand and pull it away, he looks at me a mottled look of confusion, hurt and anger.

"We can't do that either, I still hurt." I tell him.

"I'll be gentle," he says in a lulling voice.

"Jay no it was really painful and it's only been a couple of days, I need to heal. We can make out; you can stay above the waist but nothing down there, not for another day or so." I assert.

He growls a little, then brings his lips to mine again. He's kissing me hard, with more force than usual and more desire behind the kiss, almost a desperate need. My hands go to the back of his neck deepening the kiss as I dissolve into it, his hands go up my top and under my bra grabbing my breasts with just a bit too much force, I gasp and break the kiss. He swiftly pulls my top and bra over my head tossing them across the room and begins assailing my breasts with his lips and tongue. As much as I am still hurting from the last time and as much as I don't want it to my body responds to what he's doing, my back arches pressing into him just a little. It's enough to feel his bulging stiffness ready to break out of his jeans. When I make a gasping trembling moan after he lightly nips at my breast he stops and sits up.

"If you're not going to let me make love to you then shower with me." He says.

"I don't think so." I shake my head and bit my lip.

"No sex, just showering but I want to see your sexy body and feel you. Come on it's sexy; you'll like it I promise." He says is in a soft sort of cooing voice.

I bite my lip and think about it a minute before resigning with a heaving breath. "Okay."

"It's so adorable when you're shy." He smiles getting off the bed and helping me up.

I'm already half naked so I take off my shoes and turn my back to finish undressing. Then walk quickly to the washroom to turn on the shower.

"Babe I'm not going to bite." Jay calls after me. "Well maybe a little," he adds coming up behind me in the washroom and biting my neck playfully.

We're both naked now and despite the fact we had sex the other night when his erection presses into my back I catch a breath in my throat and feel my stomach knotting.

"Maybe I should clean up the living room instead, your friends are…" I try to move away but her stops me and cuts me off with a kiss.

I swear his kisses are magical; they put me into this trance every time as if his lips touch mine and I lose all my good sense, logical thought and will power.

"Babe relax, I love you and we're just going to shower." He assures me pulling back the curtain and stepping in to the shower.

I nod and follow him in despite the little part of me that says I shouldn't. I don't know what's wrong with me; I've never been this way with any other guy. Jay moves and puts me under the water then he sort of steps back and watches the water run over my body. I don't think watching water run over my body for more than a few seconds would be sexy but I guess that's where guy's minds and girl's minds differ because Jay seems entirely engrossed in it for a good minute before I dip my hair back in the water to wash it. I close my eyes using my hands to help the water get over my hair and enjoying the soothing feeling of the warm water.

Suddenly Jay's hands are at my lower back and he pulls me to him forcefully and quickly, our bodies clap together echoing in the small washroom. I try to open my eyes but water runs in them and I close them again wiping the water with my hand as Jay mashes his lips to mine. If he was horny before he's way past horny now, as I try to open my eyes again he turns us pushing me against the cold tile wall of the shower and I shiver a little. Our bodies part a little but my eyes stay closed as he kisses me with even more fervor and passion. I put my arms around his neck as one of his hands begins fondling my breasts. His other is grazing my belly with his knuckles and his breathing becomes frenzied and rapid with an occasional grunt or moan. I realize he's masturbating while kissing me and I shut my eyes tighter and try and pull away but he keeps me firmly pressed against the wall.

I'm conflicted now on the one hand I'm glad he's taking care of himself and therefore won't keep trying to get me to have sex with him tonight. On the other I may not be a virgin anymore but I'm still nervous about sex and sexual things, I'm not confident in this area and I'm a little embarrassed and not sure what I should be doing in this situation. If I were Bianca or maybe even Alli I'd probably be helping or doing it for him but I'm not them I'm me and the me that I am is demure and bashful and so I keep my eyes shut tight and concentrate on the kiss.

After a few minutes Jay's body starts to shake, his knees begin to give way and his hand leaves my breast leaning against the wall near my head to support himself. I kind of want to leave the shower but he has me trapped in the corner. He's making all kinds of noises, guttural groans, blissful moans, grunts, even saying my name although I haven't done a thing. I open my eyes and look down against my better judgment, like when you pass a horrible car wreck on the side of the freeway. Not that I'm comparing my boyfriend masturbating to a horrible car wreck. His hand is pumping his cock at rapid speed and his whole body is tense, it's somehow erotically pleasing and somewhat grotesque all at once. Then he makes a loud grunting sort of moan as he climaxes and seaman spews out, I turn my head and close my eyes just in time but it gets all over my front, my breasts and belly and starts slowly trickling down and I shriek a little.

Jay sort of collapses against the wall as he pants hard and begins to recover. I'm a little bit in shock but at least I can move again and I go under the water to wash the cum off of me. The water however doesn't wash it off and soap doesn't help much either.

"Jay it's not coming off." I complain.

"Sorry Babe, use the scrub brush." He says while still panting.

I assume he means the brush with the long handle hanging from the shower caddy. I bend forward to get it and without warning Jay's behind me, his hands roaming body. My breathing hitches and I tense a little, he reaches forward to grab the body wash and squirts it straight onto my breasts making me gasp. Not waiting for me to use the scrub brush he kind of half washes me and half fondles me; when his hand slides all the way down my belly to my pussy lips I jump a little and step forward.

"Jay I need to get clean." I insist using the scrub brush now and he moves his hands to my shoulders.

"Sorry Babe but you look so hot." Jay says in my ear. "Anyway that was okay but I can't wait to make love to you again." He adds.

"That was interesting but sex hurts." I say as I rinse and begin washing my hair.

"You didn't like that? You were kissing me back with a lot of passion." He says.

"It was just…I'm just not use to this stuff, you know I only made out with guys until you. It's still all new to me and kind of scary." I tell him.

"Don't worry Babe I'm an excellent teacher and sex won't always be painful we just have to loosen you up like I said." He tells me reaching up and pulling a leaf from my hair. "Why do you have a leaf in your hair?" He asks.

"I was near the ravine earlier." I shrug as I rinse the conditioner from my hair.

"What the hell were you doing at the ravine? I don't want you hanging out at the ravine Clare, it's full of drunks and drug addicts and drop outs. I used to hang out at the ravine." He sort of bellows.

I switch places with him so he can get clean and twist my mouth at him. "I was near the ravine not at the ravine but I have hung out there before. Also I wasn't alone Fitz was with me." I tell him.

His face suddenly goes hard, he takes my arms and pins me to the wall roughly. "What were you doing with Fitz? I told you still has the hots for you, I don't like you hanging around him!" Jay says in a growling sort of tone.

"Jay I told you before, we're only friends and nothing more. He may like me but I only see him as a friend. You're my boyfriend; you have no reason to be worried or jealous of Fitz." I assure him and for the second time that night I'm a little afraid of him.

I put my hands on his chest and kiss him softly hoping to calm him down. He stays tense for a minute and then relaxes into the kiss.

"I just love you so much I can't stand the thought of losing you, to anyone." Jay tells me when he pulls away from the kiss.

"You won't Jay I love you too but Fitz is my friend, I'm helping him study so he can come back to DeGrassi in the fall." I inform him.

"I still don't like the idea of you hanging out with him." Jay replies in a harsh tone.

"Jay I told you that there's nothing to worry about. You're my boyfriend, I love you and Fitz is just a friend." I assure him kissing him again quickly. "I should get out and get ready for bed and let you shower." I tell him pushing him back a little.

He holds me for a quick kiss and then lets me go so I can get out of the shower. I wrap one towel around my hair and begin drying off with the other and realize there's only one towel left.

"We need to get you some more towels." I remark as he turns off the water and gets out.

"We can go on my next day off." He shrugs.

"Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?" I request.

"I think you should sleep naked." He replies with an impish smile.

"Jay!" I scowl.

"What I like your body. We'll go straight to bed and I'll hold you all night long. C'mon Babe sleep naked for me, you are mine, you love me right?" He smiles cupping my chin and kissing me softly at first but slowly adding more pressure and fervor until I give in.

"Okay but just sleeping." I stipulate.

"Just sleeping, I gotta be up early tomorrow to help with inventory before we open." He tells me.

We finish getting ready for bed and he takes the towels off me before we go back to his room and get in bed. He wraps me tightly in his arms and falls asleep after a couple minutes. I'm so confined in his arms I can barely move but we're just sleeping so it should be fine. I close my eyes and slowly drift off to sleep. I'm woken up very early the next morning by a very loud alarm and Jay moving to turn it off.

"Jay?" I yawn.

"Hey sorry Babe, I gotta head in to work. You go back to sleep and I'll see you when I get home." He tells me before leaning over to give me a quick kiss.

"I have to go home tonight," I yawn and shake my head.

"I'll call you later then and tomorrow's my day off." He says and gets up to dress.

As tired as I am I can't fall back to sleep, I roll over and look at the clock it's not even five yet. I hear Jay leave the apartment and I get up and get dressed thankfully my shirt covers the bruise on my arm. The bruise is light blue now and up near my shoulder since that's where Jay grabbed me, now that I see the bruise it begins to throb a little. Once I'm dressed I grab my phone from my purse to call the only other person I know that's awake at this hour.

**(FITZ)**

Just as I was about ready to leave my apartment to go to work my phone rings. The display says it's Clare calling and of course I answer right away.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine," she yawns and even the sound of it is beautiful. "Jay just left for work and I can't get back to sleep I hate to bother you but you're the only other person I know that's up this early. Could you pick me up? I'll help you open again." She offers.

"Of course I'll pick you up, be there in a few minutes." I reply.

"Thanks Fitz, I'll wait outside the building." She says.

"No don't, not alone this early I'll text you when I'm there don't leave Jay's apartment before I text you. At least you'll be safe there, especially if he's gone." I tell her.

"Okay I'll see you in a few minutes." She says and I can hear her smile on the other end and I smile.

We hang up and I rush out to my car, it's not even light out yet but the morning already seems brighter because I know I'm going to see Clare in a few minutes. I drive as fast as I legally can and pull up to Jay's apartment building a few minutes later, getting out my phone to text her I'm there and she appears like this beautiful vision a minute later.

"Thanks Fitz, I couldn't have called anyone else at this hour. After Jay got up I just couldn't get back to sleep and I didn't want to sit around his apartment." She tells me.

"It's no problem I told you to call me anytime." I assure her.

She smiles at me and I start driving to the Dot, I park in back like always and unlock the door. She turns on the light while I lock the door again and then she goes straight to work. I don't have to tell her what to do at all; she opens the register while I begin making the coffee. Just like last time she helped me open we finish in half the time.

"How about breakfast?" I offer when we're done.

"Sure you start breakfast and I'll go get the books from the car so you can study some more." She says heading for the door.

"Wait you get breakfast I'll go get the books, I don't want you out back by yourself. That alley is dangerous." I tell her.

She smiles and kisses my cheek, I can feel my cheeks blush a little and I smile at her. I go out the back door and grab a couple books from the back seat of my car. When I get back in she has breakfast set up for us and I hand her one of the books. She opens the social studies book and starts asking me questions and I just stare at her.

"I never really went to any social studies classes; the past ain't exactly interesting to me." I shrug.

"Okay we'll put that aside for now, let's move on to science." She says.

"Yeah like I'm any better at science," I gripe.

"Fitz what did I say?" She scolds.

"No more negative talk, okay ask me anything." I tell her and she smiles at me.

She opens the science book and asks me about ten questions of which I get all of two right.

"You did well." She smiles at me.

"I only got two right, how much time do I have before this test?" I ask in a defeated sort of huff.

"You have eight weeks Fitz, we'll study every day." She says taking my hand across the table.

Her touch is like so calming and energy giving all at the same time, her hand feels so incredibly soft and like dainty in mine. My mind wanders to this wonderful fantasy where she gets up and sits in my lap, her arms link around my neck and she gives me one of her beautifully bright smiles before gently putting her lips on mine. Just the thought of kissing her makes me like happier than almost anything and hard too, hey I am a guy.

"Uh I should open the door, it's six if you want to stick around I'll give you a ride home later." I tell her.

"Thanks." She smiles.

I unlock the door and we're immediately flooded with people needing their coffee fix before work. I go behind the counter and start ringing people up, Clare comes behind the counter and gets a shirt disappears into the back returning after a minute wearing the Dot shirt and she helps me. She knows just what to do, she's better than most of our other waitresses and even the morning rush moves quicker with her help. Maybe it's just like Clare, like maybe she's just so amazing and wonderful that everything just seems easier and better with her around. The morning rush is just dying down when Ray shows up; he comes behind the counter and gives Clare a look for coming over to me.

"What's your girlfriend doing behind the counter? You're going to get sacked; you can't just let anyone come behind the counter." Ray whispers to me.

"Clare's not my girlfriend," I tell him. _"As much as I wish she was," _I add in my head. "But she's not just anyone either and there's no way I get sacked for letting her help out.

"She's behind the counter and handling money." Ray scolds.

I laugh at him a little and take him to the little pass through window to the kitchen. "Hey Max, Roger Clare helped me open again and she's been helping out all morning." I call back to them.

"Awesome," Roger replies.

"That was nice of her," Max says.

"She can't be back here though, Fitz could be fired." Ray says confused and the kitchen staff bursts out laughing. "So then we can let anyone back here?" Ray asks slowly.

"Nope," I shake my head, "but I told you before Clare isn't just anyone." I smile.

Ray still looks confused and he goes back to the phone on the wall in the hallway and dials a number. "I'm telling you you're going to get fired." Ray says putting it on speaker.

"You better fucking be on fire if you're calling me this early." Peter grumbles in morning voice into the phone.

"Fitz let this Clare girl who's always in here help him open and help customers and…" Ray starts and is cut off by Peter.

"Baby Edwards is there, I wanna say hi." Peter says.

"Yeah but isn't that against the rules, shouldn't Fitz be fired?" Ray questions.

"Not if it's Baby Edwards, you let her do whatever the fuck she wants, especially if she's helping. Now go do you're damn job and let me say hi to her." Peter barks into the phone at this point I'm laughing so hard it hurts but I manage to get Clare's attention and push Ray out to the front so he can serve people.

"What is it?" She asks, squeezing her forehead a little and even that looks beautiful on her.

"Baby Edwards, I hear you've been helping out." Peter says through the phone.

"Peter hi, just this morning and one other to help Fitz." She tells him.

"My staff treating you well?" Peter asks.

"Yeah they are, Fitz and I are good friends now and I already knew Roger and Max." She says.

"Well good. I need to hear how you two became good friends, some other time. Fitz makes sure she gets paid and hey if you want a job you just call me and you got it." Peter tells her.

"Thanks Peter." She smiles.

"Sure I gotta get back to sleep now. Fitz if anyone mistreats her I put you in charge of kicking their ass." Peter commands.

"You got it, I'll be happy to." I say with a big smile.

"Good now let me sleep." Peter yawns and hangs up.

The dial tone is really loud and I hang up the phone and look at Clare.

"I think I've officially like been made your body guard by your sort of big brother or whatever." I comment.

She giggles a little and smiles even brighter. "Yeah I think you were and I'm okay with that, happy actually but umm who called Peter?" She questions.

"Ray called him; he thought I was going to be fired for letting you help." I explain.

"Oh," she laughs, "I guess he doesn't know my relationship with Peter."

I shake my head and we walk back out to the front laughing together.

"Peter says she can have a job whenever she wants." I tell Ray.

"He's like my big brother." Clare laughs.

"Oh got it, so I guess it's your break time then for both of you." Ray shrugs.

I take her hand and we walk out the back, stopping at the safe room for petty cash and I take out $40 and give it to Clare.

"Peter said to pay you for working." I say and then we go out to my car. "So I guess I should take you home?" I ask.

"Why don't we study now and then you can take me home on your lunch and after I change you can take me to Adam's. That way you could stop in and say hi." She suggests.

All I hear is this means I get more time with Clare so of course I'll do it. Then again I would do anything she asked me to.

"Sure." I nod.

We go to my car and she gets in the backseat, lounging back and putting her feet up on the front seat. I get in next to her and do the same, my boots dwarfing her tiny little black shoes. She reaches next to her and picks up a book, she starts reading from it but I'm distracted by her foot as it sways back and forth on the front seat and occasionally bumps my boot lightly.

"Fitz pay attention, we have a lot of material to cover." Clare scolds and I snap to attention.

"Sorry what was that?" I ask.

We spend my whole break studying and then go back inside, with me and Ray on Clare doesn't need to help but she sits at the counter and anytime it gets real quiet she makes me study. Funny thing is when Clare talks I actually like pay attention, somehow with her teaching me some of this stuff is actually like sticking. Her soft voice and beautiful smile and the way her gorgeous lips form words I like pay attention and actually learn. When it's my lunch break we get in my car and I take her home.

"You can come in, no one's home. No I didn't mean that the way it sounded it's just my Mom and Glen are at church meeting with the minister about their wedding." Clare says.

"It's okay I get it, I'm not the kind of guy I bring home to your parents even as a friend." I smile as we get out of the car.

"That's not true Fitz, that's not who you were and I do want my mom to meet you as a friend but just not yet. It's not you, it's her believe me." Clare laughs a bit.

I smile and she unlocks her door, closing it behind us. "I'm just going to run upstairs and change real quick, wait down here." She instructs.

I nod and watch her bounce up the stairs, when she vanishes into her room I go around the corner to the living room. I look around in the room at the pictures of Clare and her family and part of me wishes my family was like that, ever. Clare comes down stairs a minute later, dressed in a blue patterned summer dress with short sleeves, the kind that puff out a little. This sounds kind of weird but as she comes down the stairs she kinda reminds me of the Blue Fairy, you know from Pinocchio. She is just like so amazingly beautiful and she just appears in this like surrounding of light. She smiles and we leave her house, she locks the door and we get back in my car.

"So you never did tell me why you couldn't get back to sleep this morning." I comment as I start driving her to Adam's.

"I don't know Jay got up for work and I just couldn't get to sleep again even though I was a little tired." She shrugs.

"So everything was okay last night? I mean you and he…" I stumble over my words a bit and she cuts me off.

"We didn't have sex Fitz I still hurt too much for that. We slept and stuff." She says.

"And stuff? What stuff?" I question.

"Fitz, I'm not going into details with you. You're a guy and you still like me and I feel funny talking about it with you." She says with red cheeks.

"Okay I get it but you will tell Bianca and you will tell me if he hurts you? I mean I was officially appointed your body guard today." I remind her.

"Yes you were," she laughs a little and then bites her lip and looks out the window.

"Wait did he do something?" I ask looking over at her.

"No, no he didn't do anything. He had some friends over to play poker last night and it was kind of awkward. They all think I'm 18 because, well you know why and I don't know they were kind of saying things." She says while looking out the window.

"Did one of his friends do something?" I question.

"No they just said stuff and every time they did Jay would get mad at them. I told you he loves me and he's really sweet." She assures me.

"Yeah so you keep saying." I reply.

She's looking out the window and bites her lip, I have a feeling she's not telling me everything but we've reached Adam's house.

"You're coming in for a few minutes to say hi right? You have a little time before you need to be back." She says.

"Yeah sure." I nod getting out of the car with her.

We go to the basement door and it's full again, Adam sure does have a lot of friends. Clare opens the sliding glads door and everyone looks over at us and stops talking.

"Hey Fitz gave me a ride on his lunch and came in to say hi. Fitz you know Fiona and Imogen don't you?" Clare asks pointing to the two girls.

"Yeah sure you guys all come into the Dot." I reply.

"Yeah hi Fitz, we've been getting filled in all about you two being friends and Clare's new guy." Imogen smirks a little.

"Yeah you've had a busy week Clare." Fiona adds.

Clare bites her lip again and I put my hand on her shoulder. "So how's the arm Adam?" I ask changing the subject.

"Still can't use it and it still hurts but it's getting better. How's the studying going?" He asks me.

"Okay I guess, we did some this morning, while she helped me open the Dot." I tell them.

"Didn't you do that the other morning?" Drew asks.

"Yeah Peter says she can have a job if it she wants it. Well I should go I'm on my lunch and I should probably eat something." I tell them.

"Okay well thanks for coming in." Adam says and the others wave.

"If you're not exhausted we should study some more when you get off." Clare says.

"Yeah I'll call you when I'm off." I smile.

She smiles too then hugs me and kisses my cheek, I hug her back and leave the house waving to the others one more time. I get in my car and drive back to the Dot on like this mixed cloud of happy and worried. Happy because you know she touched me, kissed my cheek in front of her friends and worried because she's hiding something I'm sure of it.

**Update soon from here switching to Clare's POV**

**And Mansavage that was half in Fitz's POV just for you.**


	10. Dreaming From the Waist

**Ch. 10 Dreaming From the Waist**

**(CLARE)**

"So did you sleep at Jay's again?" Eli asks almost as soon as Fitz is gone.

"Yes Eli." I say with a bit of a hard tone.

We've barley stuck our toes in the water of friendship again and he's asking me about sleeping at my new boyfriends house. Although my relationship with Jay is so guarded for one very obvious reason I probably wouldn't like the question coming from anyone but Fitz or Bianca.

"Did you two have sex again?" Eli inquires and everyone looks at me.

"Eli I'm not having this discussion and most definitely not with you." I tell him.

"So when are we going to meet him then?" Adam inquires.

"Adam we already talked about this, I'm not comfortable with you guys meeting him when our relationship is so new." I reply.

"You lost your virginity to him I don't think your relationship counts as new anymore." Drew chimes in and I glare at him.

"Uh Clare why don't you come help me make sandwiches for lunch." Bianca suggests standing up.

I smile at her thankful for the reprieve and follow her up the stairs to the kitchen.

"Thanks Bianca, I know they're asking out of concern, well Eli and Adam anyway but you know they can't meet Jay. I hate that this is so complicated; I wish I could just bring him over. I don't think Fiona or Imogen would care that much but Eli and Adam would go ballistic and so would just about everyone else." I lament as we start pulling stuff out for sandwiches.

"I'm sure they'll stop asking eventually but at some point you're going to have to let them meet Jay. I would do it while Adam still only has one arm and maybe somewhere without sharp objects so Eli doesn't kill him." Bianca replies.

"Yeah no kidding, Jay's great he loves me and he's sweet and caring. I mean he's a guy and he…" I pause searching for the right word that doesn't make him sound like a caveman.

"Get's you drunk and tricks you into having sex," Bianca comments.

"Bianca! That was once; we didn't even have sex last night." I inform her.

She opens her mouth to say something but shuts it again when we hear heavy steps coming up the stairs, meaning it's not Imogen and Fiona it's a couple of the guys.

"You're taking too long," Owen whines appearing in the kitchen.

"And we want chips and soda," Drew adds coming up behind Owen.

"You're lucky we're making the sandwiches you guys get the chips and soda." Bianca barks at them.

Owen goes to the fridge and gets out sodas; I go to the fridge to get out the lettuce and tomato. Owen and I sort of converge and he bumps my arm, right where Jay grabbed me last night and I whimper in pain inadvertently. My cry is shrill and sharp and my face contorts in pain and they all stop and look at me.

"I barely touched her." Owen says in his own defense.

"I'm fine, he just hit a bruise." I tell them.

Before I can stop him Drew lifts the sleeve of my dress and looks at my bruise. Drew eyes me with a furrowed brow and puts his hand over the bruise; lining up his fingers almost perfectly with the finger shaped black and blue marks. Now they all look at me with the same look, sort of a mix between anger, confusion and concern.

"Who hurt you Clare? Someone grabbed you hard enough to leave a really bad bruise." Owen states.

"I know Fitz wouldn't hurt you so that leaves one option." Bianca states.

"He didn't mean to." I assure her but she gives me a dubious look.

"Who are we talking about?" Drew questions taking his hand from my arm.

"Jay, he did that to her." Bianca says with an angry tone.

"He was drunk; he didn't realize he was squeezing my arm that hard he let go as soon as I told him he was hurting me." I assert.

"Knowing what I know that doesn't exactly make me feel better." Bianca replies.

"Why what do you know?" Owen inquires.

"You and Owen at least can't tell me you haven't been so drunk you didn't know what you were doing." I shoot back to Bianca.

"Well yeah but like Bianca said that doesn't make me feel better." Responds Owen.

"Guys it was an accident really he didn't realize he was grabbing me so hard and as soon as I told him it hurt he let me go. He had some buddies over to play poker and they were drinking, he had a few beers and grabbed my arm a little too hard. It's no big deal let it go and don't tell the others, they'll over react more than you are. It's just a bruise I'm fine." I insist again.

"Yet none of what you just said makes me feel better." Owen remarks.

"Yeah I agree. Jay having buddies over, all of which were guys I'm guessing and all of which were drunk. Were you the only girl?" Drew asks.

"Yes but Jay was very protective, he got mad any time one of them said anything or looked at me the wrong way." I inform them.

For a minute we're all silent, me looking between the three of them and the three of them looking at me.

"HEY WHAT HAPPENED TO LUNCH?" Adam yells from the basement.

"Has Fitz seen it?" Bianca asks and I shake my head.

"Let's get lunch downstairs, please don't say anything to the others it's a bruise one bruise." I plead with them.

"Tell Fitz and I won't say anything and neither will those two." Bianca stipulates.

"I'll tell him when I see him this afternoon to help him study." I promise her.

"Okay we won't say anything right guys?" Bianca questions the boys in a stern voice.

"Right," Owen and Drew say in unison.

"That includes letting it slip out "accidently" too." I say using the finger quotes.

"We won't say a word." Drew tells me in his most sincere voice.

"You guys get the chips and sodas downstairs and we'll be down in a minute with the sandwiches." Bianca instructs the boys.

They nod, take the chips and soda downstairs and Bianca and I continue making sandwiches.

"These buddies, that Jay had over I'm guessing they were all his age?" Bianca states more than questions.

"Around his age, they were all friends from his work and I already told you he was protective." I reply.

"Just tell Fitz about the bruise okay?" Bianca requests again.

"I promise." I nod and we take the sandwiches downstairs.

The others have put on a movie and we all eat and watch the movie. When the movie ends it's nearly the end of Fitz's shift. Imogen, Fiona, Connor and K.C. clean up and as soon as they're upstairs my phone rings and I know it's Fitz.

"Hey, I'm off you still at Adam's?" Fitz inquires when I answer.

"Yeah." I reply.

"Should I come get you so you can help me study some more?" He asks.

"Of course." I respond.

"Cool I'll be there in a few minutes." He says and hangs up.

About ten minutes later Fitz comes through the sliding glass door.

"Hey Fitz," almost everyone says together.

"Hey guys." He smiles.

"I'll come over tomorrow Adam," I say getting up and going over to give Adam a hug.

Adam says goodbye and I say goodbye to the others, waving to them as I leave through the sliding glass door with Fitz. We drive to the secret spot again, Fitz carries all the books down in a book bag, I carry the blanket, spreading it out near the rock like last time. I lie down on my stomach and open a book while Fitz leans against the rock.

"We should have brought drinks; it's very hot even down here." I complain after about an hour of studying.

"I'm ready for a break anyway; my brain's beginning to feel like mush." Fitz says.

**(FITZ)**

"We shouldn't drink it but the water in the stream is cold, we could put our feet in and cool off a bit. Then we can walk back to the car and go study somewhere with cold drinks." I suggest.

She smiles at me and I watch her face light up, how can such a small movement of a few face muscles on one person just like make your heart soar.

"That sounds great," Clare says standing up and slipping off her shoes.

I take off my boots and socks and roll up my jeans, the stream only goes up to my knees, of course that means it'll probably hit Clare on the mid thigh. Clare steps into the water and I can see the relief the cold water brings her. Following her into the freezing water chills my skin and it feels great in contrast to the hot sun. She smiles and steps in a little further, she looks so wonderfully gorgeous, so happy and care free, her eyes are sparkling with bliss. I want to like pick her up in my arms and swing her around and kiss her, I can't of course but I want to really badly.

Suddenly her smile turns sort of mischievous and then she kicks some water at me. The water feels great but no way I'm letting her get away with splashing me. I put my hands in the water and splash her. It hits right on her chest, you'd think I was like aiming but I swear I wasn't. She shrieks a little covering her chest with her arms but it's too late I've already soaked her. She looks surprised, then gives me a 'so that's how we're going to play' look. She kicks water at me again and then uses her hands to splash me again, she has me pretty well soaked by now. We keep water fighting and in a few minutes we're completely soaked, her thin blue dress is like clinging to her and almost see thru. It's fucking sexy and my male brain can't help but think dirty thoughts.

My dirty thoughts are interrupted when Clare walks toward me, slipping on a rock she falls, I catch her but I wasn't prepared and I fall back with her in my arms, landing on my back in, thank god, the shallow part of the water. She lands on top of me her hands on either side of my head, my arms around her back, our wet bodies like pressed together and our lips like an inch apart. It's like seven of my greatest fantasies come to life all at once. I want so badly to smash our lips together, to rip her wet dress from her body and make love to her in the stream. I feel her heart beating with mine against my chest; her hot breath is gently blowing into my mouth and like wrapping around my tongue. I swear it's like inviting me to kiss her, her breath it's like calling my lips to press against hers. Our eyes are locked and hers are like searching mine, like she's trying to read what I'll do next from my eyes.

"I'm cooled off now," Clare says blushing a little and pushing herself up and off me.

The feeling of her body coming off mine is like awful, I feel empty without her.

"Yeah we should probably head back to the car and head off." I agree although I would happily have stayed in that moment forever.

Now that our clothes are all wet moving is hard and sort of awkward. We put our shoes back on I pick up the books and put them back in the bag, Clare folds up the blanket and we walk back to the car.

"We're all wet I don't think we can go in anywhere." Clare remarks when we're sitting in the car.

"We could get the keys to Above the Dot, it'll be cool up there and no one will care that we're wet." I suggest.

"That works," she smiles.

I drive to the Dot and park out back; I go inside and grab the keys quickly getting a few looks from people that see I'm all wet. Clare is waiting for me at the door to the club and I unlock it. We go in and sit on the stage, Clare opens a book and starts asking me questions, I answer a few and then she shivers.

"Are you cold?" I ask which seems like a stupid question given the fact that she just shivered.

"With the air conditioning on and my clothes all wet I'm very cold now." Clare says.

"Hang on," I reply hopping up and leaving the club. I go down to the car and get my black hoodie from the backseat, then go back upstairs. "Here you can put this on until your dress dries." I offer handing her the hoodie.

"Thanks Fitz, I'll be right back." She smiles taking the hoodie and walking back to the girls washroom.

She comes back out a minute later holding her wet dress and wearing the hoodie. Knowing my hoodie is touching her nearly bare skin is very pleasing in the worst sort of way. She looks so amazingly hot in my hoodie, I'm getting hard and I have to change the position I'm sitting in to hide this fact. She hangs her dress over a chair and sits back down, she's careful to sit with her legs tucked underneath her but I'm a gentleman and I don't even try to look. We study for a while longer; actually it feels more like her correcting me, in a nice way, when I get something wrong and then her phone rings.

"Hi Mom," she says into the phone. "Yeah I'll be home soon I'm just at the Dot."

"Time to go home?" I ask.

"Mom wants me home for dinner." She says standing up and putting her phone back in her purse.

"You might want to put your dress back on." I point out.

"Oh right," she smiles.

She gets her dress from the chair and walks back to the girl's washroom, coming out a moment later with her dress on which has dried now. She hands me my hoodie and that's when I see the bruise peeking out from under her sleeve. I take the hoodie but gently hold her wrist and lift the sleeve to look at the bruise; it's dark and has the distinct shape of a handprint. I look at her face; she's biting her lips and has the distinct look of guilt on her face.

"Clare what happened did he do this?" I demand, with clenched teeth.

"He didn't mean to he was drunk, it's just a bruise I'm fine." She tells me.

"It's a bad bruise Clare, are there more?" I ask.

Knowing he was drunk doesn't make me feel one bit better, I've had my fair share of experience with this sort of thing.

"No, that's the only one and it was an accident." She insists.

"Has he hurt you before?" I question.

"No!" She snaps back.

"You mean besides practically raping you?" I point out.

"He didn't practically rape me Fitz." She argues.

"He got you drunk and horny and then asked if you wanted to have sex that sounds pretty close to rape to me." I argue back.

"Of course you would say that you still have a crush on me." She shoots back.

"I'm not the only one that thinks that Clare, Bianca does too." I point out.

"I know but it…you make him sound like a horrible monster and he's not. He loves me Fitz and he cares about me. He's not the monster you think he is and oh my god I've had this argument before." She says stopping and laughing a little.

"What do you mean?" I question.

"With Eli about you, I had the same argument, well not the loving and caring about me part but telling Eli you're not the monster he thinks you are. I was right about you wasn't I?" She asks.

"Yeah," I nod. _"About the loving and caring about you part too." _I add in my head.

"So maybe give me the benefit of the doubt this time." She says.

I sigh heavily, I don't trust Jay at all and the fact that he hurt her makes me want to kill him. He hurt her and accident or no in my book he should never be allowed to touch her again. Clare for some reason I can't figure out thinks she loves him and he loves her.

"Fine, I'll believe it was an accident but if it happens again I better know about it right away." I demand.

She doesn't answer but she does nod her head a little. I put my hand at her back pick up the book bag and we leave the club, after I lock up I take the keys back downstairs, given that it's a summer night the club will be open in a couple of hours. We get into my car and I start driving her home.

"You better drop me off a couple of houses down." She says.

"Right can't let the parents see me." I sigh a little.

She takes my hand and squeezes it just a bit. The feel of her skin against mine is like electrifying; her skin is so awesomely soft I always want her to be touching me.

"I will tell her Fitz, that we're friends just not now." She says taking her hand away.

"Yeah," I nod.

I pull over to the curb a couple houses down from Clare's, she kisses my cheek, says goodnight and gets out of the car. I watch her, following her in my car slowly until she's safely inside of her house then I start driving to my own home. My brain is going back and forth between wanting hurt Jay for hurting her and remembering her in my hoodie in the club and on top of me in her wet dress in the stream.

**(CLARE)**

"…_I sit on his lap and he slips down the straps of my nightie, then his lips kiss my chest gently. The feel of it sends a tingle through my entire body and the fire in my belly grows to a huge conflagration, an inferno that can only be quenched by him. I know that I need to feel him inside of me, feel him entirely. "Take me please; I want you inside of me." I am almost pleading with him I want him so badly. He smiles at me and then we're in a bed, lying naked together he's on top of me, smiling at me and then his lips all over my breasts, my breathing hitches and then he's inside of me. My body lurches at the sudden intrusion but it feels oh so amazing, I clutch at his shoulders. "Oh Fitz."…"_

I jolt awake, my eyes shooting open, my heart is beating rapidly and I'm panting hard, sweating and…horny! Oh so very horny. I've had hot dreams before, everyone does it's part of puberty but none ever like this one and I've never woken up with such a desire to be touched before. Not only am I terribly horny I'm horribly confused! Jay is my boyfriend; I love him so why am I having sexy dreams about Fitz? A wave of guilt comes over me for dreaming about Fitz when I'm with Jay. I can't sleep now; I have too many emotions quarreling inside of me.

I get up throwing on a dress and my denim jacket, grab my phone and make it look like I'm still asleep. Quiet as a mouse I slip out of my room, close the door behind me and tip toe down the steps. I slip on my shoes and quietly go out through the back door so I don't wake Mom and Glen. I have no idea where I'm going I just start walking, after about a block I realize I'm walking to the Dot, like instinct I'm walking to where I feel safe. Only Fitz isn't there, it's barely two in the morning, he's at home sleeping and then I feel guiltier for instinctually going to the Dot. I turn down another block and keep walking, my mind is preoccupied with the dream and the guilt I have from it, not to mention the intense horny feeling I still have.

After sometime the howling of a dog, at least I hope it was a dog, brings me back to reality and I look at my surroundings and have no bloody idea where I am. I wandered aimlessly for god knows how long and I'm definitely not in my neighborhood anymore. I keep walking until I come to an intersection so I can see the names of the streets. I hear a car alarm in the distance, a barking dog, a train and the sound of teenage boys that are drunk, none of these are comforting sounds and I need to get out of here fast but I have no idea which direction home is in. I really was so lost in my head as I was wandering and now I'm totally lost. My first instinct is to call Fitz which makes me feel even guiltier that my first instinct is to call Fitz and not Jay. I pull out my phone and call Jay, knowing I'm going to wake him up and hoping he isn't too mad.

"Babe? You okay? What time is it?" He asks after he groans.

"I…can you pick me up? I'm at the corner of Kensington and Croft." I tell him.

"You're what? That's not a good neighborhood what the fuck are you doing there at…three in the fucking morning?" He asks in an angry but concerned tone.

"I couldn't sleep, I went for a walk, I was thinking and not really paying attention where I was going. I got lost, I didn't mean to." I'm getting anxious and my voice is getting more shrill.

"Okay okay relax, I'm on my way. You're not that far from me I'll be there in a few minutes." He says.

"Thanks," I reply after a deep breath.

"Sure Babe just stay on the phone with me, I'm headed down to the car right now." He says.

We stay on the phone, I tell him what's around me and a few minutes later I see his car pull up. I run over, get in and hug him tightly.

"It's okay you're safe I have you. Never do that again okay? If you can't sleep then call me, even if I have work in the morning, you know I'll come get you Babe." Jay says.

"I know I'm sorry, I had this dream and I…wasn't thinking after it." I tell him.

"Well at least now I get you for the rest of the night and I have the day off tomorrow." Jay smiles.

It only takes a couple of minutes to get back to his apartment building, he parks in the garage and we go up to his apartment. He locks the door and we go straight to the bedroom he turns off the light in the living room when I'm at the bedroom door and I go in and sit on the bed taking off my shoes and jacket. He closes the bedroom door and his room becomes quite dark.

"Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?" I request.

"Of course Babe, just grab one from the closet." He says and I find my way to the closet and start feeling around for a shirt. Jay comes up behind me and grips my dress, slowly pulling it over my head. "What was that dream about?" Jay inquires bringing his lips to my neck.

I suck in a breath and bite my lip; the feeling of him kissing my exposed flesh brings back the dream in force. It also brings back all the guilt and carnal desire from it. I turn around putting my hands at the back of his neck and pressing our lips together kissing him with fervor. He picks me up and takes me to the bed, lying me down and breaks from the kiss to take off his sweatshirt and jeans, he must have taken off his shoes already. Now only in boxers he takes those off as well, my bra is quickly disposed of and then come my panties. As sore as I still am, as much as I still hurt my lower half is throbbing, aching to feel him, at least that's what I'm convincing myself.

Either Jay senses this or he's just as horny as I am because next thing I know he's parting my legs and getting between them. His thumb goes to my clit rubbing in gentle circles and I lurch a bit, my back arching and I emit a sort of a gasp in a shudder. His lips connect with mine just as his finger goes inside of me and I moan into the kiss.

"You're wet; did you have a sexy dream is that why you couldn't sleep?" He says in an almost taunting voice.

I don't want to answer him so I put my hands around his neck for leverage and crush our lips together again. He pumps slowly a few times, going in and out and twisting, then he adds another finger and starts pumping faster. It hurts but feels so good at the same time like it's filling an emptiness inside me. I want him to stop and I want more, this doesn't help the conflicting of emotions in me. He stops and I know he's about to enter me, really enter me and I want him to but I have enough of my wits about me to insist on safe sex.

"Jay, condoms, wear a condom please there's some in my purse." I insist in strong voice that comes out in a desperate pant.

"Of course Babe but I have some right here." He says sitting up a little and opening his nightstand drawer.

I hear some rustling and then the tearing of the condom wrapper then him putting it on. His lips come back to mine and he enters me, slowly at first and it feels good more than it hurts but once the head is in he pushes all the way in rapidly.

"Ow!" I whimper breaking from the kiss.

"Sorry Babe but you feel so fucking good." He apologizes against my skin.

"Just go slow, I'm still sore from last time." I request.

"Sure babe, of course," he whispers into my breast, his breath ghosting against my skin.

He begins kissing my chest, much like the dream as he thrusts at a moderate pace. It hurts still but I feel the pleasure behind it and I want to feel only the pleasure. I try to move my hips to keep it pleasurable but his thrusting is quickly increasing pace as his lips and tongue assail my breasts almost desperately as if he's starving and my breasts are ambrosia. I find my mind wandering back to the dream and I get lost in it, suddenly Jay becomes Fitz to my eyes and that's who I feel. I know it's bad, I know I shouldn't be thinking of another guy while making love to my boyfriend, especially considering he's currently calling out my name as his pace increases. Yet it's helping with the pain I feel, it's almost like a meditation allowing me to almost ignore the pain and only feel the pleasure. I bite my lip and make sure the only sounds coming from my mouth is moaning because I'm certain that me calling out Fitz's name while making love to Jay would be very extremely bad.

I'm sort of floating in this sea; below me is mostly pain as Jay makes love to me, no longer able to go even a little slow. Above me a heaven of rapturous pleasure as my dream turns to erotic fantasy and I concentrate on that. Suddenly my body begins to tremble and tense and I know I'm close to orgasm. I grip Jay's arms tightly and my back arches, my head goes back, my eyes fluttering.

"Aghhhh ngngngn oh goooood!" I scream as I climax, very happy I was able to maintain control and not call out Fitz's name as he's who I'm thinking of.

"Aghhh fuck Claaaaaaare!" Jay calls as he reaches orgasm a few seconds later.

Jay collapses next to me, pulling out of me rapidly as he does and my body lurches at the sudden loss. I curl onto my side in a semi-fetal position as the pain becomes almost unbearable now that the pleasure is gone. We're both breathing hard as we recover, I hear him take off the condom and then a thought occurs to me and I giggle slightly and turn my head into the pillow to muffle it. What exactly is so funny to me even when I'm in such pain? Just that Fitz gave me a wonderful orgasm and he isn't even aware of it. When Jay is breathing normally again he rolls onto his side and puts his arm around me.

"That was fucking wonderful Babe." Jay says, he kisses my arm hitting the bruise and I suck in a sharp breath. "You okay Clare?" He asks.

"You kissed my bruise from where you grabbed me last night." I tell him.

"Fuck I'm sorry Babe; I didn't mean to hurt you. You know that don't you? That I love you and I would never mean to hurt you. You do know that right?" He asks next to my ear.

"I know," I nod.

He kisses the bruise again but very gently this time. "You really had me worried when you called Babe. You shouldn't go wandering the streets by yourself at all, especially not in the middle of the night. You know if anyone ever touched you I'd have to kill them." He whispers as his head hits the pillow.

His head is heavy and I can feel that he's very nearly asleep again, I'm still awake, more conflicted than before and now in pain on top of it all. I feel guiltier than before for fantasizing about Fitz while making love to Jay. I'm not horny any longer but I'm still confused, I like Fitz he's become a very good friend but I love Jay so why did fantasizing about Fitz give me an orgasm?

"You know that I love you so much I couldn't stand it if you ever left me, I'd go so crazy I don't know what I'd do." Jay says so quietly I barely hear him and I almost think he's asleep.

It's quite eerie though, it's like he can read my mind, like he knew I was having conflicting feelings about Fitz. Like he knew I was thinking about Fitz when we were having sex. His breathing is deep and regular and I know he's asleep now. I lie awake for a while before I feel the need to pee. I take his hand and move his arm off of me, sitting up slowly and then standing. This movement is very painful, my groin, whole lower half is screaming in pain, I take a deep breath and take a couple of steps but walking is even worse. I whimper audibly without meaning to but I can't help it.

"Clare?" Jay yawns from the bed.

"Just got up to use the washroom," I say slowly trying to keep the pain out of my voice.

"You sound odd," he yawns again.

"It hurts to walk." I tell him.

"Is that all," he replies getting out of the bed he comes over and scoops me up. "It won't always hurt Babe it was only your second time." He says as I open the door so we can go out.

He takes me to the washroom and sets me down then leaves closing the door behind him so I can pee in privacy. I flip on the light, go pee, wash my hands, flip off the light and open the door. Jay is leaning against the wall waiting for me and as soon as I open the door he picks me up again and puts our lips together. He carries me back to the bed, sets me down and then closes the bedroom door before he gets back in bed and puts his arm around me.

"Thanks for carrying me to the washroom," I say giving him a soft kiss.

"Well it was my big cock fucking your small frame really hard that is the cause of all that pain so I figure the least I can do is save you a bit of walking." Jay comments.

"Jay you make it sound so vile, don't say it like that. It doesn't sound very much like you love me when you say it like that." I scold him.

"Sorry Babe, you know I love you, how's this? It's only because I made love to you like crazy because I love you like mad and you're so fucking sexy I can't keep my hands off you that's the cause of your pain. Is that better?" He asks.

"Yes that sounds better," I nod.

"Good," he yawns, "now get some sleep Babe."

Jay is asleep again after a couple of minutes and exhaustion overtakes me a short time later, I'm not conflicted anymore and the fantasy I had about Fitz and I while Jay and I made love has left my head. Jay's arms around me make me feel safe and I succumb to sleep.

**(JAY)**

I wake up just after ten the next morning which is pretty late for me but considering how long and late I was up picking up Clare and then fucking her hard afterward it's not so surprising. I hug Clare a little closer to me and kiss the corner of her mouth.

"Mmmm," she groans.

"I'm getting up you sleep as long as you like Babe." I tell her hoping that if she gets some rest she'll be up for another hard fucking later.

I get out of bed, pull on some jeans and go out to the kitchen for some breakfast. Today breakfast is beer and poptarts, I don't even bother to toast them. I sit on the sofa and turn on the TV finding a game on. I finish the poptarts and am halfway done with my beer when there's a knock on the door. I wasn't expecting anyone, so I put down my beer and go to the door checking the peep hole, smile when I see who's on the other side and unlock the door.

"Sean buddy what are you doing here?" I ask as we shake hands and hug.

"On leave for a couple days came to see you," he says as he comes in and I close and lock the door again. "I went to the shop first but they said it was your day off." Sean says.

"Yeah oh keep your voice down my girl's asleep in the bedroom. You want a beer?" I offer.

"At 10:45 in the morning, no thanks. So you have a girlfriend?" Sean asks.

"Yeah she's awesome you can meet her when she wakes up. You want a soda or juice or something?" I ask.

"Soda's fine, so this girl is it serious?" Sean asks as we sit on the sofa.

"Yeah I love the girl." I tell him.

"So what's this girl's name?" He questions

"Clare," I reply.

"Cool, I'm betting she's sleeping late because you two were up late for sexy time." Sean says.

"Yeah and it was fucking fantastic." I remark with a big smile forgetting to keep my voice down and I hear her stirring in the bedroom. "I think I hear her getting up I better go make sure she puts some clothes on. I'm sure she will she's pretty shy but I'm just going to be sure. No offense but if you saw her naked I'd have to kill you." I tell him.

Sean sort of laughs but I wasn't joking, I go back to the bed room opening the door to see Clare stretching in the bed. I close the bedroom door and go sit on the bed; she opens her eyes and looks at me.

"Hey Babe, my buddy dropped by so be sure you get dressed before coming out." I warn her.

"Even if I thought I was alone I wouldn't walk around naked." She replies.

I kiss her and then pull her up and she groans a little. "Still hurting? Come I'll help get you dressed and then you can come meet Sean."

**Update Soon**


	11. One of us in Love

**Look I found time to update yay! Enjoy.**

**Ch. 11 One of us is in Love**

**(JAY)**

Clare sits on the edge of the bed and I hand her clothes to her. Then I help her get her panties on and help her to stand but when she nearly doubles over I pick her up and carry her out. Sean gives us a look when we come out; he looks surprised and then furrows his brow like he's trying to place her. He's seen Clare once before but she was 12. I sit on the sofa with Clare on my lap and her head goes on my chest as she yawns.

"Sean Cameron my girlfriend Clare Edwards, Sean's one of my best buds we go way back." I introduce them.

"It's nice to meet you," Sean says slowly and still looks like he's trying to place her.

"You too," Clare smiles, "Sean Cameron, like Emma's Sean?" Clare questions.

"Yeah Sean and Em dated on and off for years." I nod.

"Oh yeah I remember you, we met once before when Spinner brought me to the Break Room." She says and I see recognition come into Sean's eyes. "I hope you won't think this horribly rude of me but I would love a bath." Clare says after a few seconds of silence.

Sean doesn't say anything; he still looks shocked more so than when I told him Spinner and Emma were getting married. Clare doesn't seem to notice though she's too tired and in pain I think.

"Of course not Babe, you take a nice long hot bath and when you're done we'll all go out to lunch, after all you haven't eaten yet. Should I carry you into the washroom? I fucked her hard last night and she's really sore." I explain to Sean.

"Jay!" Clare scolds hiding her face in my chest. I just chuckle and pick her up taking her to the washroom, I kick the door closed with my foot and set her down. She starts the water and turns to glare at me. "I can't believe you told him that!" She says in a stern and angry voice with her face scrunched up in anger and her hand on her hip.

She actually looks really hot like that and I really want to bend her over the sink and fuck her hard again. "Relax Babe it's just Sean, anyway I'm pretty sure he knew by the way you were moving." I assure her, taking her chin and bringing her lips to mine.

"Oh my god, Jay he knows me! He's seen me before and he knows Darcy at least a little what if he tells someone?!" She whispers in panic.

She clings to my shirt and looks really nervous and scared.

"Babe relax, Sean won't tell anyone I'll talk to him. You just take a nice relaxing bath, there's some aspirin in the medicine cabinet. Call me if you want me." I tell her, capturing her lips for a hard and passionate kiss.

I leave her to get undressed in private or I might just have to fuck her again. I close the door and go back to the sofa, Sean still looks dumbfounded but when I sit down he snaps out of it and smacks me upside the head.

"Are you fucking insane! That's Baby Edwards! Darcy's baby sister and you're dating her?! Having sex with her! She's just a kid and it's illegal!" Sean whispers and manages to growl at me at the same time.

"She's not a kid dude she's sixteen," I shrug.

"Yeah she's still a minor and it's still statutory rape Jay!" Sean exclaims quietly so Clare doesn't hear.

"She's always been more mature than her age." I tell him.

"Yeah something tells me that won't work as a defense if her parents have you arrested." Sean remarks.

"We're in love dude; I told you I loved her." I remind him.

"I'm guessing Darcy and her parents don't know?" He asks and I shake my head. "I'm betting no one does Spinner or Em? As I recall they were pretty fond of her and somehow I don't think they would approve of her dating you." Sean comments.

"The guys at my work know but they think she's eighteen. One of her friends knows, even our age difference. I don't much like the guy because he has a crush on her but he knows. Her other friends know about me but not our age difference or anything." I inform him.

"I still can't believe you're not only dating but having sex with a sixteen year old! And not just any sixteen year old but Darcy's little sister!" Sean says in a half scolding half amused tone.

"Dude it's fucking awesome! I mean it kind of sucks that we have to be so quiet about it but even that's hot in a way. Which reminds me you can't say anything, you know for obvious reasons." I tell him.

"Yeah sure but be careful, I' m sure Clare is great but you could be sent to prison Jay and what about her? She's sixteen and I'm guessing a virgin until you." Sean comments.

"She was and the first time with her was the fucking best I ever had. She was so fucking tight god it was amazing!" I tell him.

"Dude! Normally I don't care how you talk about your girlfriends but she's sixteen it sounds wrong." Sean reprimands.

"Man relax, I love her I already told you." I tell him and then hear the bath water start to drain. "I'm gonna go check on her." I say and go to the washroom door, knocking softly. "Babe it's me," I call through the door and she unlocks it, I open it carefully and go in. She's wrapped in a towel and waits until I have the door closed behind me before she starts drying off. "Sean will keep our secret, I told you he would."

She nods and I see how slowly and carefully she's moving as she gets dressed.

"I think I better call Adam and tell him I can't make it over today." She says after she gets her dress over her head.

"It's my day off; I'd rather have you with me all day anyway. We'll go out to lunch with Sean and then hang out at the house the rest of the day. We'll just take it easy kick back and watch movies I promise. The only place I want you over exerting yourself is in bed." I smile at her and giver her another hard and passionate kiss.

She finishes getting ready and the three of us go down to my car, just to be safe I drive us to this Italian dive we've been to before. It's one of those places where people only go if they have something to hide so no one says anything, just keep your head down mind your own business.

"So have you two kept in touch this whole time or what?" Sean asks.

"No we just ran into each other last week, I saw her walking late at night and gave her a ride." I tell Sean.

Clare goes on to tell him all about her prom night, Jake, Adam etc. and then I tell him about my birthday and us becoming a couple, a secret couple but a couple none the less. We spend about two hours at the restaurant with dessert and everything then I drive us back to my place and I invite Sean to hang out since I'm fairly certain I'm the only one left in town that he knows. We all sit on the sofa and I put on the TV and a movie, an action movie that Clare doesn't seem all that thrilled to watch but she leans against me and I put my arm around her.

**(CLARE)**

Jay puts on some action movie that looks terrible, something Drew would watch and I really have no interest in but I only got a few hours of sleep and the aspirin I took earlier is starting to wear off so I don't really care. I lean against Jay and then realize I have yet to let Adam know I won't be over. I start to get up to grab my purse and then groan when the movement hurts.

"What do you need Babe?" Jay asks.

"My purse, my phone actually I never called Adam. I just need to send him a text to tell him I won't be over." I tell him.

"Sean could you grab Clare's purse from the door?" Jay requests.

"Yeah sure," Sean says getting up and getting my purse.

"Thanks Sean," I smile as he hands me my purse and I get my phone out to text Adam.

**Clare: Didn't get much sleep won't be over today, tomorrow I promise.**

After I send the text I realize that there's one more person I need to text, his shift at the Dot will be over in a few minutes.

**Clare: Hey I barely got any sleep, I don't think I can meet you to study today. I'll make it up to you tomorrow I promise.**

As soon as I send the text to Fitz Adam texts me back.

**Adam: Are you okay? If you're too tired to walk someone can pick you up.**

**Clare: Too tired to do anything, just going to take a nap. I promise I'll be over tomorrow.**

After replying to Adam Fitz texts me back.

**Fitz: Everything okay? Are you with him?**

I hide my phone so Jay can't see it because I don't think he'll like that Fitz refers to Jay as him.

**Clare: Yes I'm with Jay, everything's fine I'm just really tired. See you tomorrow I promise.**

Within a minute both Adam and Fitz text me back saying they'll see me tomorrow and call them if I need anything. They even almost word the texts exactly the same. The last thing I do is send a quick text to my mom telling her I'm sleeping at Adam's again because his arm is really bothering him and I'll be home by dinner tomorrow and call my cell if she needs to get a hold of me. Then I put my phone back in my purse and lay on Jay again.

"We should go out, have some fun." Jay says when the movies over.

"Jay I'm tired and you have to be up early for work tomorrow." I remind him.

"It's still early Babe, we'll go out to a bar that serves food, have dinner and a couple of drinks I'll have you home nice and early to get some rest. Sean's only here for the night, we gotta do more than sit around watching movies." Jay persuades.

"Why don't you guys go out and have some fun and I'll stay home and sleep." I counter.

"But I got to have my girl with me, if you're too tired and sore to walk I'll carry you Babe." Jay tells me.

"Okay let's go out but we need to be home early." I assert.

"I promise Babe." Jay pledges.

Jay carries me to the car and we go to a bar just a couple blocks away. The bar does sell food so technically I can be in there but I am the youngest one in here. Jay doesn't carry me into the bar but I do lean on him heavily to get me to the table. I order a soda and the guys order some beers, they also order onion rings, nachos and burgers while I order a grilled chicken sandwich. Sean and Jay talk mostly about cars and I just lean against Jay and feel myself getting tired. When the nachos come I eat a couple and go back to leaning on Jay. The guys move from talking about cars to sports, another boring topic to me but our dinner comes so I eat. I only finish about the half the sandwich before I'm full and now I'm tired and lethargic. I spread my legs out on the booth bench and lean on Jay, he puts his arm around me and despite all the noise and smells in the bar exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep.

"Come on Babe, lets get you home and get you to bed." Jay says pulling me from the bench and picking me up.

I put my arms around his neck and my head on his shoulder. He carries me out to the car and puts me in the backseat. I fall asleep again on the drive home but wake up when he parks in the garage.

"Yeah I should get going, good to see you again man. I'll let you know when my next leave is. It was nice to see you again Clare, if you talk to Darcy tell her I said hi. And you and Jay…uh…yeah…so uh good to see you again." Sean says hugging Jay and me and then he leaves us.

"Come on sleepy let's get you to bed," Jay says picking me up again.

He carries me up to the apartment and sets me down at the door to unlock it. I go straight to the bedroom and grab one of Jay's shirts. Taking off my dress when Jay comes in and pulls it off for me then he unhooks my bra and slips it from my arms. His hands go to my breasts, clasping gently and his lips go to my neck kissing softly. In spite of the fact that I'm practically asleep on my feet and do not have the energy to be aroused my body responds and I moan just a bit and catch a small gasp in their throat.

"I think you should sleep like this," Jay whispers in my ear.

"Jay I'm dead tired I barely got any sleep last night, I need to sleep." I insist in the strongest voice I can muster.

"I'll let you sleep but you should sleep naked," Jay says in a soft yet persuasive tone.

He doesn't wait for an answer and runs his hands down my curves till he reaches my panties and then he pulls them down my legs. Lifting my feet to take them off then he picks me up and puts me in the bed. He only had one beer with dinner so I know he isn't drunk but he is horny. He takes my wrists and pins them above my head and begins kissing my breasts and sucking on them, gently at first and then harder and harder.

"Jay stop, I need to get to sleep." I tell him trying to get up but he just pushes my wrists into the bed harder and then bites my breast. "JAY STOP!" I cry out trying to keep my voice firm and hard but it comes out a little desperately.

He does stop though, letting go of my wrists and getting off me. "You know I can't keep my hands off you. You're just too fucking sexy, just seeing your skin makes me want to kiss it. I don't know how your other boyfriends weren't always touching you."

"You scared me, you wouldn't stop." I say angrily getting up and going to the closet to retrieve my panties and get one of his shirts to sleep in.

Jay gets off the bed, I hear the springs squeaking, he comes behind me his arms go around me tightly. "It's only because I love you so much that I always want to touch. You know everything I do is out of love for you." Jay says his lips so close to my skin I can feel each word as they leave his mouth. When I don't answer immediately he spins me around so fast I catch a gasp in my throat. I'm facing him now and his hands clamp down on my arms and he's squeezing the bruise on my arm and I whimper in pain. "You know everything I do is because I love you don't you?" He asks again, in harder tone.

"Yes!" I whimper mostly from pain but I am a little afraid.

He lets go of my arm and looks where he was holding. "Sorry Babe I didn't mean to catch your bruise." Jay apologizes and then very gently kisses my bruise. "I'll be back in a minute you should get in bed and get some sleep." He says and goes out to the washroom.

When Jay's out of the room I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I grab one of Jay's shirts, the first one I can get and put it on not even bothering to put my panties back on, mostly because bending hurts to much. I go back to the bed and get under the covers but I'm not as tired now. Jay comes back in, getting in bed and pulling me to him, wrapping his arm around me; he's only wearing boxers now.

"Jay you scared me," I say quietly.

"I didn't mean to scare you Babe, I love you." Jay says kissing my head.

"I know, I love you too." I reply back, he hugs me tight and then falls asleep.

I'm still exhausted but not so tired now; Jay's behavior is reminiscent of Eli's when he was first showing signs of bipolar break downs. At the same time it's entirely different and frightening. There's a nagging voice in my analytical mind telling me this is bad and remember how things turned out with Eli and maybe Fitz and the others are right. The rest of my mind and my heart tell me I'm over thinking things and I love Jay. And I do love Jay and I know he loves me, maybe I'm trying to sabotage things after the dream I had about Fitz last night and my guilt and confliction over that. Yeah that must be it but I still can't sleep. I try to move and get up but Jay tightens his hold on my even though he's asleep. I pick his arm up and move it off of me and he wakes up.

"Where are you going?" He asks sleepily.

"I just need to use the washroom," I reply.

"Don't take too long." He says and lets me go.

I go into the washroom, walking slow and trying not to make sounds even though walking hurts, closing the door behind me. "I'm just being paranoid," I whisper into the empty washroom. "I'm just afraid because none of my other relationships ended well. I know Jay loves me and I know I love him so stop being paranoid Clare." I reprimand myself.

I leave the washroom and go back to the bedroom, getting under the covers and back into the bed with Jay. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek and I do feel better being in his arms again and now I'm sure I was just over thinking things. I yawn and nuzzle into him and fall asleep quickly. Jay's alarm wakes us both up the next morning; he kisses me before hopping up and starting to get dressed. I sit up and groan in pain, Jay sort of smirks and helps me to stand and the first thing I do is go into the washroom for some aspirin.

"You want me to take you home before I go to work?" Jay asks as I start getting dressed.

"Actually can you drop me at the Dot?" I request.

"Sure," he shrugs.

We go down to his car when we're both dressed and ready, he drives me to the Dot which is filled with the usual early morning rush crowd. Before I get out of the car Jay puts his hand behind my neck and crushes our lips together for a very long and passionate goodbye kiss.

"See you later Babe," Jay says before he drives off.

I wave to him and walk very slowly into the Dot, taking a seat on one of the stools at the counter. It's about a quarter to seven so Ray should be here soon to relive Fitz for his break. Fitz gives me a look but he's too busy to say hi or anything, I would help him but the aspirin hasn't kicked in yet. Ray comes in just as the crowd is beginning to die down like always and tells Fitz to take his break; he comes over and takes my hand leading me out the back.

"You had sex again, he was rough again and you're hurting again and that's why you avoided us all yesterday!" Fitz accuses in an angry tone.

"He's my boyfriend Fitz you can't expect me never to have sex with him again!" I snap back.

"I guess I can't ever expect him to be gentle either!" Fitz growls.

"It wasn't as bad this time," I tell him. _"Mostly because I was fantasizing about you almost the entire time." _Runs through my head but I don't say it out loud.

Fitz looks angry still and like he has a bunch of things to say but none of them quite make it out of his mouth. After a couple minutes he takes a deep breath, calming down and his fists unclench. He comes to me, looking me over closely; he reaches his hand up like he's going to caress my cheek or cup my face but then retracts it and puts his hands in his pockets.

"Are you going to be okay today? Have you eaten?" He asks.

"The aspirin just took effect I'll be alright, no I haven't eaten yet." I reply.

"I'll buy you some breakfast; if you can stand to hang out until my lunch I'll take you over to Adam's." Fitz tells me.

"Thanks Fitz," I smile.

He smiles from one corner of his mouth and ushers me inside, he gets coffee for himself and some for me and gets me a muffin as well. He sits with me at a table until his break is over and goes back to work. When it slows down and there are only a few customers I use the opportunity to help him study. On his lunch we go out to his car and he drives me to Adam's, parking out front he gets out and comes in with me to hang out for a few minutes.

"Get some sleep?" Adam asks with a suspicious tone when we enter.

"Yes lots feeling much better today," I reply looking around the room at who's there today. Owen, Katie, Bianca, Jenna and of course Eli and Drew were in the basement with Adam.

"So did you not get any sleep because you slept at the boyfriend's house and you had sex again?" Eli asks in a disapproving voice.

"ELI!" I say an incensed tone.

"WHAT?!" Jenna exclaims. "Okay first what new boyfriend?" Jenna demands apparently no one bothered to fill her in.

"His name is Jay," Adam tells her.

"She won't let us meet him," Drew adds.

"They started dating the night after prom," Eli informs her.

"And you lost your virginity to this guy? Purity ring Clare lost her virginity to a guy she's been dating just over a week?!" Jenna exclaims in an astonished voice.

"They'd only been dating a couple of days when they had sex." Owen tell her and I feel Fitz tensing at my side.

"Who are you and what have you done with Clare?" Jenna inquires.

"What's the big deal? Almost everyone else in this room has lost their virginity and you guys don't care." I point out in an annoyed voice.

"None of us took a vow of purity," Owen retorts.

"Not just that but since when do you hang out with Fitz? Now offense Fitz but you guys really haven't talked much since you got out of juvie and you're kind of the last person I'd expect to see walking in with Clare." Jenna says.

"Prom night was very stressful a lot of stuff happened that night and the next day. Fitz and I started talking and becoming friends the next day; we've become very good friends very fast. I'm helping him study for his placement exam so he can come back to DeGrassi this year." I explain.

"Oh well okay then I guess. Alli is going to be so confused when she gets back." Jenna says.

"I should probably go so I can eat before I go back to work should I pick you up when I'm off?" Fitz questions and I nod, I almost kiss him on instinct but I stop myself. "Bye Adam, see you guys later," Fitz says waving to the others.

I give him a quick hug and he leaves through the basement door while I sit on the sofa next to Jenna who is still looking at me like I'm one of the pod people.

"You know Alli's probably going to have a heart attack right? She goes away to science camp and pure innocent Clare gets dumped, get's a new mystery guy loses her virginity to him and is BFF's with Fitz of all people." Jenna remarks.

"You should have been hanging out last week; Clare's been our main topic of conversation." Drew states and I shake my head.

"Have you heard from Alli?" I question Jenna hoping to steer the conversation away from me and my relationships, romantic or otherwise.

"She called on Saturday but they aren't allowed to have their cell phones and are only allowed fifteen minutes for each call so of course her parents took up all fifteen minutes. I know she's having fun and doing well but that's about it. If I actually get a minute to talk to her next time she calls I'll tell her all about your new boyfriend, losing your virginity and that your now good friends with Fitz." Jenna says.

"Great," I reply sardonically kind of glad that Alli is too far away to come home and throttle because me when she hears this news as she probably will want to.

"So how many nights did you spend at Jay's house? Oh yeah Jay, that would be the new guy, has his own place." Owen informs Jenna.

"I repeat who are you and what have you done with Clare? The Clare I know would not have sex with some guy especially one that has his own place!" Jenna exclaims.

"He's not some guy Jenna I've known Jay since I was 12 and now he's my boyfriend. He has a job and didn't get along with his own parents so he got his own apartment." I tell her.

"So why can't we meet him?" Jenna questions.

"Because it's a new relationship and Jay doesn't know any of you, I want to enjoy my relationship before I introduce him to my friends." I give her the same excuse as the others.

"You're relationship is too new for us to meet him but it's not so new that you guys can't have sex?!" Jenna exclaims.

"I've known him since I was 12 it's different, it's just…complicated." I say slowly.

Bianca, Owen and Drew all make a sort of chortling noise to express they don't think complicated is the right word and I glower at them.

"I'm getting hungry; I'm going to get some snacks. Clare you want to help me?" Drew doesn't so much ask as say with a look that clearly says I need to go upstairs with him.

"Uh sure," I say slowly guessing he's about to ask about the bruise or Jay getting drunk or something that I expressly said the others couldn't know about.

"Yeah I'll help too," Bianca says getting up.

"Yeah me too," Owen adds.

The others look at us suspiciously and I feel like we're like a secret society or something. I guess we sort of are, us and Fitz and Jay too and now Sean. The secret society of Clare's secrets only there's different levels of knowledge, Jay and I know the most then Fitz then Bianca and then Drew and Owen. I go upstairs behind Drew and followed closely by Owen and Bianca which I almost feel is more to keep me from bolting. The guys start nosily opening cabinets and getting out chips and such when we get into the kitchen.

"How's the arm?" Owen asks.

"Did he drink again?" Drew questions at almost the same time but at least they both keep their voices low.

"My arm is fine it's just a bruise, an old friend of his came into town and we went out to dinner. They both had beer with dinner and that was it." I reply also in a low voice while I get out some grapes.

"No sex last night, night before I'm guessing and I'm guessing he was just as rough and that you didn't come over because you could barely move." Bianca states.

"I also barely slept," I reply not wanting to get into the rest of it.

"You were safe this time right?" Bianca asks and the boys give me a look.

"He didn't even use protection when you lost your virginity to him?" Drew sort of growls but still keeps his voice low.

"No he got her drunk, fingered her until she was good and horny then asked if she wanted to have sex." Bianca enlightens them.

"So he pretty much raped you!" Owen states.

This feels like a lecture I should be getting from Adam, Eli and Alli not Bianca, Owen and Drew.

"No he didn't!" I argue, not my strongest argument ever.

"Sounds like it to me." Drew nods.

"He used protection this time, we were safe and neither of us were drunk can we drop it now? And don't say anything to anyone downstairs." I tell them.

"Clare we barely know you and even we know this is bad!" Owen says.

"It's not bad, he's very sweet, he loves me." I respond.

"He got you drunk and horny and then asked if you wanted to have sex and I'm assuming he wasn't gentle, even I wouldn't stoop that low." Owen shoots back.

"You're basing your opinion on the guy off of the very little you know about him, you're not being fair." I contend.

"Maybe if you'd let us meet the guy we would have more to base our opinion on." Drew remarks.

I bite my lip and look at Bianca, she sort of shrugs.

"You may as well tell them, they're bound to take it better than Adam and Eli or any of your other friends." Bianca advises.

I think about it for a minute and Bianca is right, they would take it better, mostly because I don't know them very well. I guess I can consider them my friends now but still I barely know them. Still they'll probably yell and I have to know that I can trust them first.

"Fine but not here and you have to swear on your lives you won't say a word to Adam, Eli or anyone else." I stipulate in a determined tone.

"We swear," they say together and look at me expectantly.

"I'm not telling you here, you're probably going to yell." I remind them.

Drew looks thoughtful a second then goes to the doorway to the basement. "We're running to the store, be back." He calls down.

"Where's Clare?" Eli calls back.

"She's coming with us," Drew replies.

"I'll drive," Bianca says as we exit the house. I start opening the door to the passenger seat and Bianca stops me. "No you can sit in the back with them."

I grimace at her but get in the middle seat in the back Owen gets in behind Bianca and Drew behind the empty passenger seat. Bianca starts driving and the boys look at me.

"Only Fitz and Bianca know this so you can talk about it with them so long as nobody else hears. And say one word to Adam or anyone but Bianca and Fitz and I will kill you understand?" I question, they both nod a little bit which is not enough of a guarantee for me. "I'm serious guys, Eli is bound to go ballistic even Adam will blow his top. Swear to me what I'm about to tell you will not ever pass your lips unless it's to Bianca or Fitz, well or me obviously."

"This better be good but fine I Andrew Torres do solemnly swear never to repeat what you're about to tell me to anyone but the people in this car and Fitz. Happy now?" Drew asks after making his pledge.

I nod and look at Owen, he makes a similar pledge and then they both look at me again. I take a deep breath and start twirling the purity ring on my finger which really has no place being there any longer.

"The reason I won't let anyone meet Jay is that he's 23. I really have known him since I was 12 though; he was just 19 when I met him." I confess to them.

There's a very long silence, the boys are giving me an astonished and sort of disconcerted look. I don't think they're breathing, I think I may have shocked them into a coma. Very cautiously and slowly I poke them both in the arm at the same time and they snap out of it. Each of them releasing a simultaneous exhale and then comes the part where they go ballistic.

"HE'S SEVEN YEARS OLDER THAN YOU ARE YOU NUTS? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?" Drew yells.

"YOU'RE DATING AND LOST YOU'RE VIRGINITY TO A GUY THAT'S 23?! INNOCENT LITTLE ST. CLARE IS JAILBAIT?!" Yells Owen.

"Oh for heaven's sake I was never that innocent and it's not like I just met Jay on Saturday and he's some random older guy, I've known him for four years." I point out.

"Yeah and you were 12 and he was 19, he was already an adult at that point!" Owen replies.

"You've had sex with the guy Clare it's statutory rape! You're entire relationship is illegal! Knowing this only makes the other things we know about him worse!" Drew rants.

"What kind of creepy sleaze in his early twenties dates a 16 year old?" Owen questions.

"He's not a creepy sleaze, he's very sweet." I insist to them.

"He's 23! You're 16! He has his own place and a job because he has to!" Drew exclaims.

"Wait, that guy we saw you with at school the other day, the one that looked like he kissed you, that was him wasn't it?" Owen asks and I nod.

"You said his name was Jason," Drew says.

"Technically it is Jay is short for Jason." I tell them and they both give me a look. "If I had told you guys that was Jay you would have gone over there, you would have gone ballistic and you would have gone home and told Adam and everyone else. Then they would have gone out to kill him probably, Eli at least and probably Adam. So he's a little bit older, we're in l…" I start but get off by both of them.

"NO!" They yell together.

"He's not a little bit older Clare, Eli is a little bit older, Jake is a little bit older even Sav is a little bit older! Not that you ever dated him but it would be better than Jay who is seven years older, that's criminal, literally! My dad's a lawyer I may not be the brightest but I know this illegal and dangerous!" Drew asserts.

"Not to mention Eli and Jake never would have gotten drunk, never would have gotten you drunk, never would have tricked you into having sex with them and never would have grabbed your arm so hard drunk or not!" Owen states lifting my sleeve to show the bruise.

"You guys aren't being fair, you don't even know him!" I counter.

"Then let us meet him." Drew says flatly.

"No way you'll just yell at him! Anyway Fitz has already met him." I tell them.

"What time is Fitz off; he's coming to get you right?" Owen asks.

"Yes and he's off at one." I inform them.

"Good," Drew says.

Since we told the others we were going to the store, we actually do. Drew gets ice cream, more sodas and some fruit and then we go back to his house. I leave them as soon as we go in the front door and go down to the basement.

"Have fun going to the market with my brother, Owen and Bianca?" Adam inquires when I sit on the sofa again.

"Loads," I reply sarcastically.

Bianca and the boys come down the stairs a few minutes later with snacks. They set them on the coffee table and people start eating. I nibble a little but I keep glancing at my watch nervous about Fitz getting here and what they're all going to talk about, well I know what they're all going to talk about I guess I'm nervous about how bad it's going to be. A couple minutes after one Fitz sends me a text to say he's off and on his way, I send a text back.

**Clare: Drew and Owen know everything and they want to talk to you because you've met him.**

I get a reply almost immediately.

**Fitz: Good**

That's all he says, no punctuation no comments just good, my only thought is this isn't going to be good. Fitz comes through the sliding glass door a few minutes later and the whole room looks over at him.

"Uh hey, you ready Clare?" Fitz asks.

"Yeah, let's go." I reply standing up quickly.

"I should be going too." Bianca says standing up.

"Drew want to go toss the football around?" Owen queries as he stands up and grabs the football.

"Yeah we'll be back in an hour or two," Drew responds as he too stands up.

"Should I be worried that you're all leaving with my best friend again?" Adam questions.

"We're not leaving with her; we're just deciding to leave at the same time as her." Bianca tells him.

"I'll come by tomorrow Adam, bye guys." I wave and walk out with Fitz, followed by Bianca, Drew and Owen.

We all walk out and they follow us to Fitz's car.

"We're not talking about Jay out here; someone could walk out and hear us and I need to help Fitz study." I state flatly.

"I take her down to the swing usually, you guys can come we should get cold drinks first though." Fitz says.

**(FITZ)**

Clare sits on the swing and starts rocking back and forth on her heels. I go behind her and start pushing her out of habit.

"So you guys know all about Jay now?" I ask.

"Yeah he's 23, she says you met him what did you think?" Owen questions.

"Yeah I met him; Clare says he loves her, that they're in love. She swears that he cares about her." I reply.

"You don't sound like you believe it." Drew remarks.

"I don't," I shrug.

Clare gets off the swing, turning around to glare at me, her hands going just below mine on the ropes.

"Of course you would say that, you still have a crush on me!" She says angrily.

"Then let us meet him we don't have crushes on you." Bianca chimes in.

"How can I trust you won't just snap at him for dating a 16 year old?" Clare inquires.

"I was civil I know Bianca can be civil and am fairly certain Owen can be civil. I don't know about Drew but I'm guessing he can at least be civil." I point out.

"He's twenty three Clare and you're sixteen and we may not know you that well but we can't know everything we do and not be worried. If you're not going to let Adam and Eli meet him and I see why you wouldn't because Eli would almost certainly try and kill him, then we have to!" Drew tells me in an austere tone.

Clare bites her lip and gets a thoughtful face then she sighs heavily. "Okay I'll ask him but you guys have to promise that you can be civil and none of this goes past this group." I stipulate.

"We promise, Drew and I will keep this secret and we will be civil and not break his neck when we see him." Owen assures me.

"There you see they'll be nice and you'll have more people to protect you." I tell her.

Clare glowers at me. "I don't need protection from my own boyfriend."

"I'm thinking you might given what we know." Owen remarks.

Clare looks like she's about to hurt them so I gently grab her arm and pull her back to me.

"Okay we need to study you guys should get out of here." I command.

"Make him study hard Clare I expect him to be at DeGrassi on the first day in a horrible uniform just like the rest of us." Owen comments and I smile; it feels nice to be with my friends again.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow," Bianca says.

Drew just waves to us and they start walking back to their cars. Clare sits back on the swing and like pouts a little but it's really fucking adorable and I want really badly to kiss her lips.

"This is going to go bad, I'd say I just won't let them meet Jay but they already know his age and everything else so there isn't much of a point. They might already let it slip about his age like they did that I lost my virginity." She says in a worried and sort of sad voice.

I go in front of her and tip her chin up to look at me. "Clare it'll be fine, Bianca can keep a secret and I'm pretty sure Drew and Owen will keep it just to keep Adam and Eli from going ballistic. I know you say he loves you and cares about you and maybe he does, maybe you're right and I'm like jealous or whatever but Drew and Owen won't be." I reason with her.

She sighs, bites her lip and gets thoughtful face again. "I guess you're right I just have a feeling it's going to go bad. It's not like I'm introducing Jay to people I'm close to, I mean I consider Bianca to be my friend now and I guess Drew and Owen too but still I barely know them. I only became friends with them this last week before that I barely spoke to them!" She says.

I feel my face fall as I turn away from her. "You just became friends with me this last week too." I remind her.

She gets in front of me, one hand on my arm and the other on my chest. "That's different Fitz I spent a lot of time with you. You've been there for me, been a confidant and someone I feel safe with. I couldn't have gotten through the last week if not for you. Why do you think I hang out at the Dot so much? That I volunt…"

She has more to say but I can't help myself, I put my hand on her lower back and bring my lips to hers!

**Update Soon**


	12. Don't I Have a Heart

**Ch. 12 Don't I Have a Heart**

**(CLARE)**

Fitz's lips are pressed against mine without warning, my breath catches in my throat and I'm frozen and then I find my eyes closing, my lips moving and parting. I begin to melt into the kiss without even realizing it, his tongue slips into my mouth and touches mine and my whole body responds, quivering and tingling. I want to keep kissing him but the voice in the back of my mind keeps getting louder and louder, my senses and right moral mind come back to me, I put my hands on his chest and push myself away.

"What are you doing?!" I scold him turning away so he won't see that I'm really not angry. This can't go on, this has to stop now and I have to stop it or it's going to explode. He's silent but I hear him breathing heavily, sort of gasping for air like our kiss left him breathless and I bite my lip. "I have a boyfriend Fitz you can't just kiss me!" I tell him managing to sound much angrier than I am.

I am angry, he shouldn't have just kissed me but I'm not nearly as angry as I should be. As if dreaming about Fitz and thinking about him while having sex with Jay didn't make me feel bad enough now we've kissed! We've kissed and I liked it but I can't let him know that and I can't tell Jay so I have to stop this now.

"Yeah one that's way too old for you and hurts you!" Fitz shoots back.

Now I am really angry, I turn around with my eyes narrowed and my hand on my hip.

"Fitz that isn't fair, he's only seven years older than me it's not that much and he doesn't hurt me!" I respond.

"Really then what's this!" Fitz says taking my arm and moving my sleeve up a bit to reveal the bruise.

"HE WAS DRUNK FITZ! He didn't mean to! Surely you've done things you didn't mean to do when you were drunk!" I retort.

"Yeah lots, sometimes to girls but I know I was a jerk and I never claimed to love them!" Fitz counters.

"So you kiss me knowing I have a boyfriend that I love and now you're claiming he doesn't even love me?!" I growl at him, there's a few seconds of tense silence and the absolute worst part is I want to kiss him again. "If we're not going to study then take me home." I say quietly.

He looks at me then looks down, letting go of me. "We should study," he says finally.

I sit on the blanket and he leans against the rock, I pick up a book and we start. After a couple of hours and three breaks we decide to call it for the night. We pack up and walk back to the car, we're silent all the way to the car and there's this uncomfortable tension between us now and I hate it. I don't hate it for the reasons I should though, I hate it because my whole body, that's sitting a foot from him wants nothing more than to be in his arms. I want to feel him again, feel his lips and hands and I know it's wrong. I shouldn't feel this way; I shouldn't have these conflicting feelings I love Jay, so why is that all I can think about is kissing Fitz again?

"Why didn't you say anything?" I blurt out suddenly and he looks at me.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"You've had a crush on me this whole time and you never said anything? You never asked me out, you barely even talked to me." I reply.

We arrive at my house and he pulls up out front. "I don't know after the storm and your house and your like relationship with Eli just got worse and then exploded. I figured that you just didn't need me coming to say I told you so now go out with me! I wanted to give you time and space; I wasn't exactly counting on Jake coming along and like sweeping you off your feet or whatever! What was I supposed to do Clare? I'm a loser, I was a bully, I picked on your boyfriend and best friend to get your attention because I couldn't just offer you a beer like the girls at the ravine. Then I got arrested and juvie is like an all boys high school on crack. There's all these rules, all these other guys and half of what gets you through is acting tough and not backing down but that only gets you through the days. The nights are like deathly quiet and lights go out at eight and you have all this time to just like lie there and think and all I thought about, every single night for three months was you! Your eyes, your smile, your giggle, I could hear your voice saying my name. I actually listened to Father Greg because of you and I know I messed up when I got out but you are the only thing that is ever on my mind. You saved my life and you don't even know it. You're…"

Fitz's declaration is interrupted by a sudden knocking on my window that startles us both. I turn my head to see my mother standing there, looking at us and Fitz rolls down the window.

"Clare is everything okay? Who's this?" Mom asks.

"Everything is fine Mom, this is Fitz, he's my friend. He was just dropping me off." I assure her.

"Well why don't you join us for dinner then," Mom suggests.

"Uh sure thanks," Fitz replies.

"_Awesome, an awkward dinner with my future stepfather, my mother and the boy that I'm friends with but decided to kiss me and make this declaration of how I saved his life. This should be fun."_

Fitz and I get out of the car and start walking to the door when Glen pulls up.

"Hi Honey," Mom greets him and they share a quick kiss, "Glen this is Clare's friend Fitz, he was dropping her off so I invited him to stay for dinner." Mom explains as Glen unlocks the door and we all go inside.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Fitz was it?" Glen asks turning to shake Fitz's hand when we're all in the kitchen.

"Actually Mark is my first name but I hate it, my last name is Fitzgerald so everyone calls me Fitz even my folks." Fitz says with a smile as he shakes Glen's hand.

I have to admit he seems surprisingly at ease meeting my parents and I have to wonder how many times he's done this before.

"Wait Mark Fitzgerald? Didn't you try to stab Eli at that dance?" Mom says accusingly.

"Oh my god Mom! He didn't try and stab Eli; he only wanted to scare him. He spent three months in juvenile hall for it then he got out and apologized, to me, to Eli and to Adam. He found god in juvie and he's a better person now. He works at the Dot and he's coming back to DeGrassi when school starts. I'm even helping him study for his placement exams." I enlighten my mother.

"Well that's good to hear, very nice of you to spend your time helping him prepare for the placement exam Clare." Mom says.

"It's not that a big a deal, Fitz is smarter than he thinks, he just forgot some of it." I tell them.

"Well I'm just going to make some pasta and chicken for dinner, Clare would you start a salad?" Mom requests.

"Yeah sure," I nod.

Glen helps Mom with dinner and Fitz helps me with the salad, we all settle into this comfortable sate like Fitz is one of my oldest friends. It feels really nice as if this is the way things should be. I know we could never do this with Jay, assuming finding out that Jay and I are dating doesn't just send my mom to an early grave Jay is not the type for family dinners, I doubt very much he ever had them growing up. Fitz and I set the table and then we all sit down.

"This is really good," Fitz says after chewing his first bite.

"Thank you Fitz it's pretty simple. So I didn't realize you and Clare were such good friends." Mom states.

"Yeah well we weren't, not until last week. Prom night was pretty hard for Clare, she started hanging out at the Dot a lot and we started talking and just became friends." Fitz says and I smile at him, he told them enough but left out everything about Jay.

"Very close, friends very fast." I add and then decide to steer the conversation away from us. "So how are plans coming for the wedding?"

"Very good, we have the cake ordered and the caterer booked. We're going to get flowers on Sunday and Clare I thought you and I would go dress shopping on Saturday." Mom says.

"Uh sure, sounds good Mom." I reply.

The rest of dinner is a lot of Mom and Glen talking about the wedding and lot of me avoiding looking at Fitz.

"Should I stay and help clean up?" Fitz asks when we're done eating.

"No you should go home; you've been up since four." I insist before my mom or Glen can say anything.

"Since four oh you really should get home, are you okay to drive?" Glen asks.

"Yeah I don't live that far." Fitz replies.

"I'm just going to walk Fitz out," I say and walk with Fitz to his car. "You were really good in there; I think you've done this a time or two before." I remark.

"Never met a girl's parents in my life," Fitz smiles at me.

"Thanks for not saying anything about Jay," I comment.

"Yeah sure," he replies somewhat begrudgingly.

"I'll see you tomorrow; you should go home and get some sleep. Goodnight Fitz." I say quietly and have to stop myself from kissing him.

"Goodnight Clare," he smiles softly gets in his car drives off.

I go back inside and help clean up, then go upstairs to shower and go to bed. I don't sleep very long though; I have this dream where I'm literally being ripped apart by Jay and Fitz. They're both pulling at me and they both have my heart in entirely different ways. My head is all confused, my whole body is confused and they're fighting over me. Not just fighting but trying to kill each other and each is pleading with me to choose them; that they love me and need me and will die without me. At the end of the dream they both pull at me so hard I tear, fracture down the middle and then I wake up.

I'm wide awake and it's only two in the morning and my very first thought is Fitz will be awake in a couple of hours. Then I scold myself for automatically thinking of Fitz and my mind tells me to call Jay but I don't want to ask him to pick me up again and I'm afraid he's going to see that I'm conflicted about Fitz. Now I feel like the dream is real, I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions and I feel like I can't breathe. I get up, throw on some shorts, a short sleeve top, grab my coat and purse and leave the house quietly, after of course leaving a note for my mom that I woke up early and went to Adam's. Since that's what I tell Mom that's where I go, mostly because I don't want to go to Jay's or Fitz's right now but also because it's one of the few places I feel safe. Walking down the street at two in the morning reminds me that I need to stop going on these late night walks.

The streets are well lit and Adam only lives a few blocks from me but hearing dogs howl in the distance isn't exactly comforting. I kind of run the last two blocks, thankfully I know that Adam's exterior basement door is never locked; they lock the interior door to the house though. As soon as I'm in the basement I lock the door and shut the curtains all the way, sitting on the sofa. I feel safe now, there's a sort of comfort in Adam's basement the way my home used to feel. Slipping off my shoes I lie on my side on the sofa, my head is swimming, the dream I had isn't helping and the kiss with Fitz just makes everything worse. Somewhere between the walk and all the conflicting emotions I'm actually tired again and I fall asleep on the sofa.

"Clare, Clare wake up," Adam yawns as he shakes me.

My eyes blink open to focus on my friends, tired and confused face. "Morning," I yawn sitting up.

"I woke up at the crack of dawn because my arm hurt and I had to get up and get medication what's your excuse?" Adam inquires.

"Couldn't sleep," is my only reply.

"When did you get here?" Adam questions turning on the TV.

"About three I guess," I respond.

"Why? And how did you even get here?" Adam asks.

"I had a…dream, couldn't get back to sleep so I walked here." I tell him.

"Alone? At three in the morning?! Are you crazy?! Clare you could have been killed or raped or something!" Adam admonishes loudly.

"Shhhh! Adam you're going to wake up your family!" I scold.

"I don't care! You can't go wandering the streets in the middle of the night! Why didn't you call Fitz or Jay your mystery boyfriend?" Adam queries, he still sounds mad but he calms down a little.

"Fitz gets up at four to open the Dot, I didn't want to wake him up and Jay has work in the morning I didn't want to call him to pick me up in the middle of the night again." I tell him.

"Again?! So you've wandered around in the middle of the night before?" Adam inquires sounding angry again.

"Just once, the other night after another dream," I admit.

"Was that dream disturbing too?" Adam asks and he still looks mad.

"Not exactly," I reply slowly.

Before Adam can say anything else we hear loud footsteps on the stairs.

"You're lucky Mom's in the shower and Dad sleeps like a rock because you two are loud." Drew scolds with a yawn as he comes and joins us on the sofa but at least he bothers to put on pajama bottoms this time. "Now what the hell are you doing up at 5:30 Adam and what the hell are you doing here so early Clare?" Drew inquires.

"She had a disturbing dream and decided it would be a good idea to walk to our house alone at 2:30 in the morning," Adam explains in a scolding voice. "I woke up because my arm hurt and I came downstairs to get my meds, couldn't get back to sleep so I came down here and found her sleeping on the sofa."

"You walked to our house alone in the middle of the night?" Drew asks also in a scolding tone.

"For heaven's sake you guys live three and a half blocks from me!" I point out.

"A lot can happen in three and a half blocks!" Adam and Drew say together in exactly the same tone and with the same expression.

They're a year apart and not related by blood but at times, like just now, they seem more like twins.

"I'm fine okay; I came here because I feel safe here." I counter.

"That's fine I'm glad you feel safe here by all means come to my house but don't do it by yourself in the middle of the night." Adam insists.

"Why didn't you call Jay," Drew says his name with a stiff jaw, "or Fitz?" Drew asks.

"She didn't want to wake them up because they have work early in the morning, at least that's what she said. Last time you decided to go wandering in the middle of the night you didn't come here so what did you do?" Adam questions.

"You've gone wandering before? In the middle of the night? By yourself?" Drew inquires.

"Jay had the day off that day so I called him to pick me up but I also didn't have a destination in mind. They both work tomorrow and this time I wanted to come here, nothing happened I'm okay." I insist.

"But something could have happened; you can't walk around at night by yourself." Adam says as Drew grabs my purse from the coffee table and starts digging in it.

"Drew! What are you doing?" I demand.

He pulls out my phone and starts punching keys. "I'm putting in my number, Bianca's and Owen's so next time you get the bright idea that you're going to wander around by yourself and you don't want to wake Fitz or Jay you call one of us." Drew says putting my phone back in my purse.

"Okay okay I'm sorry, no more late night walks." I reply but I know they're right, I didn't exactly feel safe wandering the streets so late.

"So about this dream that woke you up and wouldn't let you get back to sleep?" Adam asks.

"It was just a dream Adam, a disturbing dream." I reply.

We all fall silent when we hear someone upstairs and a minute later Audra comes down the stairs.

"Well you're all up bright and early, Clare when did you get here?" Audra asks.

"Just a short time ago, she couldn't sleep and walked over." Adam says.

"We told her to call us next time and not walk by herself so early." Drew adds.

"Good, you really shouldn't be walking alone so early Clare. Why don't you kids come have some breakfast?" Audra suggests waving us up the stairs.

We all get up and follow Audra up the stairs to the kitchen to have breakfast.

**(FITZ)**

I was on my lunch and hadn't yet seen Clare and then my cell phone rings and it's her. "Hey I was beginning to think you were still mad at me for yesterday." I say when I answer.

"No I just came to Adam's early," she replies.

"Is that where you are now?" I ask.

"Yeah and I just talked to Jay, he's agreed to meet Drew, Owen and Bianca. I told him you'd probably want to come too. He wants to have dinner at this Italian place we go to when he's off at 4:00." She tells me.

"Okay well I'm off at one like always so I'll come to Adam's, maybe we can study there for a while and then the five of us can meet Jay for dinner." I reply.

"Great so I'll see you a little after one." She says.

"Yeah I'll be there. Clare about yesterday…" I start and she cuts me off.

"I have to go, I'll see you later Fitz." She says and hangs up.

I know I shouldn't have kissed her yesterday but I had to. Now I worry that it's going to make things weird between us. I finish my lunch quickly and drive home to get a change of clothes if I'm going straight to Adam's when I get off. The rest of my shift is slow and boring and feels like it drags on forever. Finally my shift is over and after changing in the washroom I drive to Adam's. I grab some books from the back seat and walk to the basement door, I see her sitting on the sofa between Adam and Bianca, she's laughing and her face is lit up. For a few seconds I just stand there and watch her, like captured by her beauty and then I get a hold of myself and go inside. The whole room kinda stops and looks at me when I enter. Katie's there, sitting on Drew's lap I think she's like trying to claim her territory because she keeps glancing at Bianca. Dave, Connor and Wesley are here too, sitting on the opposite side of the room as Owen.

"Hey Fitz," most of the room says at the same time.

"Hi," I smile and wave.

"I need to help Fitz study and we're not going to get any of it done down here so we're going to go up to the kitchen." Clare says standing up.

"Yeah sure," Adam shrugs.

"Study hard, you better be at DeGrassi with us this year." Owen says.

Clare and I go up the stairs and she closes the basement door then we sit at the kitchen table.

"So you want to start with science or math?" She asks.

"I want to talk about yesterday first," I tell her.

"We can't," she shakes her head.

"What do you mean we can't?" I question.

"I mean we're at Adam's house and I don't want them to know we…I'm not talking about it Fitz we need to forget about it." She says in a quiet but insistent voice and I feel my heart breaking a little.

"I can't forget about it Clare, you're asking me to forget about the best kiss of my life." I tell her but I do keep my voice down.

"I have a boyfriend Fitz, one that I love! I don't want to lose you as a friend I don't think I could have made it through the last week without you. But we can't do this, we can't…I love Jay but I don't want to lose you please just forget the kiss and go on being my friend I need you Fitz." She pleads with me.

I sigh heavily, I wasn't lying the kiss was fantastic, wrong but fantastic and I just want to kiss her again. More important to me than being able to kiss her again is staying friends with her. I can't lose her either, I can't go back to having her avoid me and only coming into the Dot to order from me.

"Okay we'll forget about the kiss, it never happened. Let's start with math but I'm going to need lots of help." I tell her.

"No problem I'm great at math." She smiles.

We study until four with just a few short breaks and my head feels ready to explode.

"We should leave to go have dinner with your precious Jay," I say in a bitter tone.

"Fitz you don't have to come," she says scrunching her face at me.

"Oh no I want to come, watching the three of them meet Jay is going to be extremely amusing I imagine." I remark as we pack the books again.

"Fitz!" She scolds. "Just remember you have to be civil."

"I promise, come on lets go say goodbye to Adam and the others and cue the others it's time to go since I doubt we're telling everyone where we're going." I say.

"Hey my mom called she wants me home for dinner, Fitz is going to give me a lift home. I'll come over tomorrow." She says to Adam and hugs him.

"Not as early though right? Not by yourself anyway." Adam replies.

"Promise, bye guys." She says waving to the others.

"Actually I should get going too, Auntie wants me home." Bianca comments standing up.

"Bye," Katie says a little rudely to Bianca.

"Drew, we were going to do that thing right?" Owen remarks getting up.

"Yeah that thing, I have to go do that thing with Owen, sorry Katie." Drew says getting her off his lap.

"What thing?" Katie inquires.

"I'm guessing you don't want to know," Adam replies.

"Does this thing involve another girl?" Katie asks.

"No it involves stupid guys doing stupid guy stuff; I'll be back in a couple of hours." Drew says and kisses her.

We all wave to those that are staying and walk out together, Clare gets in my car, Bianca gets in her car and Drew and Owen get in his car. Clare directs me to this restaurant and the others follow us. This restaurant looks like a dive on the outside but it's not so bad on the inside, it is pretty seedy though. Clare tells the hostess there will be six of us and she shows us to a large booth in the back, it's shaped like a horseshoe. Bianca scoots in and Clare sits next to her leaving enough room for Jay. I sit in the middle, Owen sits on my other side and Drew's at the end. We start looking at our menus and Clare reminds us all to be civil, we all promise her we will. Then I see Jay walking toward us, at least he had the courtesy to change after work. I nod toward him and the others look up, we all give him a hard stare but Clare smiles at him.

"Hey Babe, you look beautiful as always." Jay says then he kisses her, it lasts for what seems like an eternity to me and I gag a little.

"Hi," she says biting her lip when he finally takes his lips away. "You remember Fitz; this is Bianca, Owen and Drew. Guys this is Jay my boyfriend."

"It's nice to meet you guys; we're keeping this relationship so secret I haven't gotten to meet any of Clare's friends. Just Fitz briefly the other day." Jay tells us.

"Maybe if you weren't 23 and dating a 16 year old you wouldn't have to keep your relationship so secret." Owen remarks with a clenched jaw and Clare glares at him.

"I know but I love Clare and if that means keeping a secret to be with her then I'm willing to do that." Jay says smoothly as he puts his arm around her.

The waiter comes over to the table and takes our order so we stop talking until he leaves.

"Don't you think it's just a little creepy that your seven years older than her? You've known her since she was 12, you were 19 then you were already a legal adult and she was barely into puberty." Bianca snaps.

"Bianca!" Clare reprimands.

"It's okay she's your friend she has a right to be concerned." Jay says stroking Clare's cheek with the back of his finger and I have the biggest urge to like break his finger. "It's not like I've been in love with her since was 12 but I have known her a long time. You must all know she's mature for her age, you must know how truly special she is." Jay says the last part very close to her skin but looking directly at me, Clare doesn't seem to notice though.

"Yeah she's mature for her age it doesn't mean she should be dating a 23 year old." Drew replies.

The waiter comes bringing our drinks and we all fall silent again. After the water leaves we remain silent until he brings our food. There are lots of things I'd like to say to Jay, lots of things I'd like to do to him but I promised Clare I'd be civil so I hold my tongue.

"So just what made you think it was a good idea to date Clare anyway? I mean you know it's illegal, she's seven years younger than you." Bianca asks breaking the silence.

"I saw her walking that night after prom and I realized it had been a long time and she'd grown up into this amazingly beautiful and sexy woman and I just couldn't let her go again. I understand your concern because of our age difference but it really isn't that much and I love her." Jay replies in a slick tone and stroking the back of Clare's neck, there's that urge to break his bones again.

"Does that love include tricking her into having drunken sex with you?" Owen asks.

"OWEN!" Clare scolds indignantly. "You guys promised to be civil and we are not discussing our sex life!" Clare says angrily.

"That was civil and we're concerned." Drew tells her.

"They're just looking out for you Babe, I think it's sweet." Jay smiles and then kisses her cheek and she smiles.

If this dinner isn't over soon I'm going to lose my dinner or stab Jay with my dinner knife. We go silent again and everyone eats pretty fast, anytime one of us opens our mouths to talk Clare gives a warning look so we don't say anything. Not because we give a damn about Jay but because we don't want to upset her. Once we pay the bill we all walk out to the parking lot together.

"You coming over Babe?" Jay questions.

"I should probably get home tonight," Clare says.

"Come on Babe, come over I missed you today." Jay says in a whining tone and I feel like gagging again.

He brushes the hair from her face and trails kisses along her neck. I want to hurt him, to punch him and break his face but I don't want to upset her.

"Okay," she smiles as she quivers a little, "I'll see you guys later." Clare waves.

Everything in me tells me to stop her, to pull her back and keep her from going anywhere with that jerk but me and her boyfriend fighting probably doesn't end well for me. I'm almost certain I could take him but then she would hate me.

"It was nice to meet Clare's friends and I appreciate that you look out for her. It's good to know that she's safe when I'm not around." Jay says with a slick smile.

"Remember you guys can't say anything to anyone else," Clare reminds us as they turn to leave.

"We know," Drew says and he doesn't look much better than me about the fact that they're leaving together.

"We won't," Owen says and he has about the same look on his face.

We stand there watching until she's in his car, she waves as they drive away and when they're out of sight I look at the others.

"So you met him what do you guys think?" I ask.

"I think the guys a prick, I was worried when she wouldn't let anyone meet him, I didn't like him the second we found out that he stole her virginity and after meeting him and watching him with her I don't trust him at all!" Owen barks.

"He's very slick and he knows how to get to her." Drew adds.

"He does love her," Bianca comments and we all look at her like she's crazy. "What he does, in his own screwed up way. He actually does think it's sweet that we're concerned and he does love her, she just doesn't see that his love is toxic. Vince loved me too in his totally psychotic way."

"Vince abused you and made you sell drugs and stuff, that doesn't make me feel any better." Drew says.

"I didn't say it would make you feel better but I know guys like him. He does love her but his love is poison and she doesn't see it, she won't because she loves him too." Bianca tells us.

"So what do we do? Force her to break up with him? Warn her?" I question.

"No there isn't anything we can do but look out for her." Bianca says.

"What do you mean there's nothing we can do?" I question.

"If we tell her that her boyfriend's bad news she'll just run to him. If we tell her she can't see Jay anymore because he's going to hurt her she's going to stop talking to us and just want to be with him more. I know it sucks but she has to see it for herself, I don't want her to get hurt either but she has to want to leave him and if we try pulling her away I guarantee we'll just end up pushing her to him even more and probably pushing her away from all of us." Bianca tells us.

"But he's going to hurt her! Can't we just turn him in, have him arrested?" I ask.

"How do you think that's going to look Fitz? How is that going to look to her if you go so far as to have her boyfriend arrested? She'll be mad at you, she'll probably deny everything we claim and protect him and then what? She's not going to understand why you did it, she'll hate you and again she'll run straight to Jay's arms. We have to be on her side, we have to be here when she needs us and she will but I guarantee if we make her choose between us and Jay she's going to choose Jay." Bianca says.

"Okay so we look out for her, all of us. Fitz sees her at the Dot and to study and the rest of us see her at Adam's plus she has all of our numbers now. We just make sure that she keeps talking to us. We might have to prod it from her but if it looks like anything is wrong we get her to talk to us. Next time he does something to hurt her, we all talk to her and try to gently convince her he's bad for her without turning her against us. She doesn't want to tell Adam and the others about Jay but we know, we know everything and after seeing him with her we need to keep a close eye on her because he's going to hurt her again and probably soon." Owen states and we all nod in agreement.

**Update Soon and watch for my new story Best Served Hot premiering Saturday. **


	13. No No No

**This should have been up last night but I had some real world stress to deal with, which explains the first half of this chapter. **

**Ch. 13 No No No**

**(CLARE)**

Jay and I get back to his apartment and the first thing he does is pin me to the door and start making out with me. It isn't long before he has my shirt off and he's picking me up to take me to the bedroom. As much as I like making out with him I'm still a little sore and I'm not ready to make love again.

"Jay wait, slow down I'm still sore we can make out but…" I start but he has me on the bed and crushes his lips to mine to silence me.

After a few minutes of kissing my lips he moves down to kissing my neck as he works on getting my bra off.

"Sorry Babe but I spent a whole dinner watching three other guys watching you and I didn't hit them but I am feeling a little territorial now." He explains between kisses on my skin.

I really want to hold firm and say no, I really am still sore but his lips feel so good on my skin. My body is tingling and getting hot, nerve endings are awakening at the mere anticipation of being touched. All common sense is quickly going right out the window, all thought with my analytical and sensible mind ceases. I want to tell him not tonight but the words simply don't make it out of my mouth.

"Just make sure you use a condom and go slow I am still sore." Is what comes out of my mouth instead.

"Don't worry Babe I'll stretch you out first." Jay replies.

Having gotten my bra off, he starts assailing my breasts, groping, kissing and licking with fervor. He's sort of crouched over me, I can feel his erection constrained in his jeans still, being pressed into my crotch. He kisses down my belly and it tenses, my muscles tightening. All I can do is lay there and moan while he caresses me and kisses me but I think he likes being in charge anyway.

"Not that I mind hiding us from your mom Babe but when will you tell her? I mean I don't like the idea of hiding forever." Jay says as he begins taking off my shorts and panties.

"My mom will never be okay with us Jay, she's too strict and narrow minded. When I'm 18 she won't have a say anymore so we can tell her then assuming we're still together." I tell him.

"We'll still be together because if you ever leave me I'll kill you," he says but with a playful smile so I tell myself he's joking. He stops kissing me to stand up and divest himself of his clothing. "What if we got married? Then she couldn't do anything." Jay suggests as he gets back on the bed and spreads my legs.

"I'm only 16 both my parents would have to give written consent and there is no way they would, either of them. Can't we just forget about telling my parents for now, we're about to make love I really don't want to think about my parents at the moment." I request.

"Sorry Babe I won't bring it up again." Jay apologizes.

No sooner has the last syllable left his lips than he has two fingers sliding inside of me. I moan biting my lip as my back arches and my head goes back into the pillow. He's not thrusting so much as curling and then straightening them and moving his hand a little. The dull aching soreness in my pussy is getting replaced by pleasure quickly. I grip the bedspread as he goes faster, twisting his hand and adding another finger and I cry out in a fusion of pain and pleasure. I hear him opening the nightstand drawer to get a condom I presume but I don't hear much after that as his pace increases rapidly and everything else in the world disappears but this moment and the sensations I'm experiencing.

I'm sweating, my body trembling, heaving breaths and gripping the bed spread so tightly my knuckles are beginning to ache. It isn't long before I'm ready to pop; that I feel like I might die from the sensations, the pleasure and then he suddenly stops, withdrawing his fingers in one movement and my body lurches a whimper coming from my lips. I'm not empty for more than second as he replaces his fingers with his dick, he thrusts in swiftly, rapidly, hitting my depths and now the pain outweighs the pleasure and I make a painful cry. Jay doesn't stop or slow down only brings his mouth to my breasts. Tears pool at the corner of my eyes as he begins thrusting faster, harder, deeper and I wish the pleasure would come back.

"Jay it hurts, slow down," I plead but he's too far deep into his own pleasure to hear me.

He does pull out a little and not go in quite so far anymore however. His pace continues to be fevered though, I guess fingering me got him pretty horny because he's fucking me hard. Within a couple of minutes he's ready. I can feel it, his body tenses, his dick grows just slightly and he makes one last deep hard thrust. He collapses on top of me lying there for a minute before he rolls off, pulling out of me as he does. I let out a deep exhale as soon as he's off me; he takes a minute to recover and then walks off to the washroom. As soon as he's out of the room I curl onto my side and take a few shaky breaths wiping the tears from my eyes. It all hurts again; if this keeps up I'm not sure I'll be able to move soon. Jay returns to the bedroom closing the door and getting on the bed with me, he rolls onto his side kissing the back of my neck as he drapes an arm over me.

"That was fantastic Babe," Jay says and I can hear the blissful smile on his lips. "Did it hurt you still Babe? Sorry I love you." He apogizes.

I roll over putting my forehead against his chest and he tightens his arms around me. "I know I love you too I just wish it didn't hurt so much." I say into his chest.

"We just have to spend some more time stretching you out." He says kissing my forehead. "It's still early why don't we go out to living room, have some dessert and watch some TV?"

"Sure sounds good but can you find my clothes first?" I request.

"Well I'd rather you be naked but if you really want clothes," he says kissing my shoulder as he gets up and climbs over me on the bed. He goes to the closet and gets down a shirt tossing it to me. "You can wear this." He says.

I sit up and slip on his shirt as he grabs clean boxers and puts them on. I get up slowly, groaning a little as I do. After a couple of slow shaky steps toward the door Jay just picks me up putting me on the sofa. He hands me the remote and I find something to watch while he goes into the kitchen. coming back with a beer for him, a wine cooler for me and a large piece of chocolate cake with two forks.

"The alcohol will help numb the pain," he tells me.

I'm not that hungry and only have a few bites of cake, he scarfs down the rest of it though I guess the sex made him hungry. I do polish off the wine cooler though and Jay brings me another. Having gotten up so early this morning, I fall asleep pretty early on the sofa watching TV after my second wine cooler. I wake up pretty early the next morning in the bed, Jay must have carried me. Jay's sound asleep next to me and doesn't wake up when I get out of the bed. I go out to the washroom and get some aspirin, then go to the kitchen for water. After taking the aspirin I decide I should have some food in my belly so I make some toast. I sit on the sofa and watch TV until Jay wakes up a couple hours later.

"Morning Babe, you feel any better this morning?" Jay asks.

"Well the aspirin helped," I reply.

"Don't worry about it Babe it's my day off and I have an idea. I think we can start fixing this today, get you loosened up so sex isn't painful for you." Jay tells me as he sits down on the sofa with his breakfast consisting of beer and poptarts.

When he's done eating we get dressed and ready then go down to his car and he starts driving. We drive for a ways ending up in the red light district of downtown, at night the streets are full of hookers and drug dealers. During the day however the streets are clear but the strip clubs and exotic dance clubs have signs advertising scantily dressed women. We are not parked in front of any kind of club though we are parked in front of one of the three sex shops. I look at it and then look at him like he's lost his mind.

"What are we doing here?" I inquire.

"I told you I have an idea." He smiles.

"Okay great but I am not going in there, they're gonna be staring at us and they're going to know I'm younger than you." I state.

He cups my chin and kisses me softly. "And we'll tell them your 18, now come on." He insists with a smile.

I sigh and get out of the car; he puts his arm around me as we begin walking through the parking lot to the store. The girl behind the desk greets us as we walk in but no one gives us an odd or suspicious look. The store is pretty small but there are so many things I have never seen or even heard of before. I feel a little like I'm in some warped version of Alice in Wonderland. I feel incredibly naïve about this all, everything looks scary to me, well some of the lingerie looks pretty but the rest look scary. Handcuffs, whips, chains, leather and rubber masks, straps of all kinds, strings of large beads and many many vibrators and dildos!

"Jay what are we doing here?" I whisper anxiously.

"We came to get some whips and bondage," he smiles and when I look at him with wide frightened eyes he laughs and kisses me. "Joking I'm joking, we're here for this." He says walking up and getting a box with six vibrators in it of varying lengths and thicknesses.

I understand his plan, start with the smallest and work up to the largest but I'm still a little scared of the box. Jay purchases the box and I can't look the sales person in the eye. We go out to the car and drive back to his apartment. As soon as we're inside he picks me up and takes me into the bedroom.

"Wait you want to start now?" I ask as he puts me on the bed.

"I have the day off so we have all day, what better time is there to start?" He smiles.

"But I'm still sore I need time to heal," I protest.

"We'll start with the smallest besides you took some aspirin didn't you? I have more wine coolers if you want." Jay offers.

"I don't think I should mix alcohol and aspirin." I retort.

"Please Babe I'll be gentle I promise, we have all day." He begs as he begins softly kissing my neck.

His hands gently graze over my stomach causing them to quiver and tighten. His lips kiss along my neck and jaw and I'm losing my will power with every kiss and touch of his fingertips. He doesn't wait for an answer exactly, just begins unfastening my shorts and pulling them down my legs. I try to protest, that is I open my mouth to do so but all that comes out is a sort of whimpering moan as his hand cups my pussy over my panties. He just leaves his hand there, warming my pussy lips with the heat of his hand and teasing me as he gently strokes his thumb over my clit.

"Be gentle and go slow okay?" I request when the very last drop of my resolve evaporates.

"Of course Babe," he smiles with his lips against my skin.

He pulls off my panties, sits me up so he can get my shirt and bra off and now I'm naked. He goes back to gently rubbing my clit for a minute and then pulls the box of vibrators from the bag. Opening it and pulling out the smallest one he places the tip of it at my opening then brings it up to my lips.

"You should probably lubricate it first so it goes in nice and easy." He tells me and I squeeze my eyebrows together. "Take it into your mouth and lick it real good to lubricate it," he explains.

I open my mouth and he slides the vibrator in, it's embarrassing and kind of hot all at once. When I've thoroughly lubricated the vibrator he pulls it from my mouth and slides it into my pussy. Then he turns it on and my insides start quivering in a whole new way, suddenly I understand the appeal of vibrators. He slides it in slowly until I can feel his finger tips at my slit. He leaves it there a minute before pulling it out and then he steadily picks up the pace of his thrusting. As sore as I am the vibrator is soothing in a way or it's just working so well at turning me on I hardly notice the pain anymore. It takes a while for the pain to dissipate entirely but when it does, my hips buck, my belly tenses and my toes curl as I can feel myself about to orgasm.

"Ahhhmmm Nggngngnnnn!" I moan as I climax.

My body trembles as I collapse back to the bed but Jay doesn't stop he keeps fucking me with the vibrator going even faster now.

"Jay…no more…" I plead breathlessly.

"We have to stretch you out so it won't be so painful for you. The more I use these the easier it'll be for you besides I know you can cum for me again." Jay says.

I try to protest again but the only thing leaving my lips is moans and whimpers. It only takes a minute or two before I'm ready to cum again, I'm not entirely sure as the concept of time eludes me right now. This time he does take the vibrator away after I've climaxed, my body lurches and I curl onto my side as I continue to tremble a little. Jay smacks my ass cheek and then kisses the small of my back.

"That was so hot," Jay says. "Straighten out lets go again." He adds after a minute.

"I need a break," I insist.

"Alright fine, lets get you some food so you can get some of your energy back because I plan to make you cum at least four times today." Jay informs me.

"Are you insane?" I question sitting up slowly and trying to bend down to get my shirt.

"I'll give you breaks in between Babe." He tells me coming around and picking me up. "Uh huh no more clothes for you today, you have to be naked all day."

"Jay!" I scold.

"What you have a fucking sexy body and I want to admire it all day. Remember you belong to me." He says smashing his lips to mine for a hard kiss.

He sets me on the sofa, finally parting our lips. He goes to the kitchen coming back with crackers, cheese, sliced apple, a wine cooler for me and a beer for him. I'm actually pretty hungry and I eat a lot and down the wine cooler. The whole time he's eating he caresses along my leg with one hand. As soon as I swallow my last bite of food he picks me up and takes me back to the bed.

"Mmmmm Jay no more, I'm still tired and sore." I plead.

"Come on Babe we have to stretch you out so it's not so painful for you." He says in a soothing voice and begins kissing my neck, then my chest.

"But I'm still tired," I protest but I feel my resolve beginning to break already.

"Relax Babe I'm doing all the work, now spread your legs." He commands but he spreads my legs for me.

He starts kissing my breasts and then down my stomach, my body responds despite my exhaustion. My belly tenses, a soft moan breaks from my lips, certain parts of me begin tingling and heating up. He reaches over to the box of vibrators and pulls out the second largest one but this time he takes off his jeans and boxers and pulls a condom from the door to get it ready. I open my mouth to tell him I can't make love again but he strokes my pussy and rubs my clit and all I can do is moan. Then spreading my pussy lips with one hand and inserting the vibrator with the other, once it's in he turns it on. He begins thrusting, slow at first but picking up speed rapidly. He's rubbing my clit a little faster and it helps take away some of the pain. It's a while before the pain subsides to the point that the pleasure begins to take over and I feel close to orgasm again. Just as I begin to climax he pulls the vibrator out, I hear the condom wrapper open and then he replaces the vibrator with his hard dick.

I whimper and make a painful groan as he's a lot bigger than the vibrator. I grip his shoulders digging in, I was already climaxing when he removed the vibrator and all that pleasure is still there but now there's a great deal of pain mixed with it. I do release, at almost the same time he does and as soon as he does he pulls out of me and lies next to me. I curl up completely spent, beyond exhausted and fall asleep. I wake up late that afternoon; I hear the TV on and from the bedroom can see Jay sitting on the sofa. I sit up slowly and groan unintentionally. Jay hears me because he looks over and comes in the room.

"Feel better after your nap?" He asks.

"Not so much, what time is it?" I question.

"About four," he replies.

"I have to get home," I tell him.

He grimaces at the thought of me going home. "But I thought we'd go another round."

"Jay I can't it might kill me. Give me a couple days to recuperate and anyway I have to be home tonight." I insist.

"Alright lets get you dressed and I'll take you home." Jay says, I smile and give him a quick kiss.

It takes me some time to get dressed as I'm moving slow. Jay drives me home and we make it before my mom and Glen thank goodness. Jay gives me a long hard kiss before I get out of the car. The first thing I do is take some more aspirin and then I call Adam to tell him I won't make it over today, he says it's cool and I promise to come over tomorrow. When I hang up with Adam I call Fitz.

"Hey are you okay?" He asks when he answers.

"Yeah just very tired, will you hate me if we don't study today? I'll get up early and help you open, we can study…" I'm saying when he cuts me off.

"I have the day off tomorrow," he informs me.

"Oh then we can study all day." I reply.

"Sure why don't you call me when you wake up in the morning." He suggests.

"Okay great I'll call you in the morning then." I tell him and hang up.

I hear Mom get home and go down to greet her, she says hi and tells me she's going to make dinner. I tell her I'm not hungry, that I have a headache and I'm going to take a bath before lying down. Mom reminds me we're going dress shopping Saturday, I nod go upstairs and start the bath water.

**(FITZ)**

I'm watching TV in my bed eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast when my phone rings, it's Clare and I answer after swallowing my bite.

"Hey you awake already?" I inquire.

"I fell asleep at seven last night and it's a little after eight, I've been asleep for 13 hours." She says.

"You slept a long time; you're not getting sick are you?" I ask.

"No just…really tired." She says slowly,

"You spend the day with the boyfriend yesterday?" I question trying not to sound jealous or bitter it doesn't work very well.

"Yeah," she replies softly, almost sounding guilty.

"You had sex again," I state.

"He's my boyfriend Fitz," she reprimands her voice picking up an annoyed tone.

"You want to go to our spot today?" I question changing the subject.

"It's supposed to be a hundred degrees today I'd rather help you study somewhere with air conditioning. My mom and Glen will be gone soon you could come over around nine. I still have to get dressed and eat breakfast anyway." She tells me.

Now all I can think about is Clare lying naked in bed. I realize she probably has pajamas on but that's not how my mind pictures it.

"Yeah sounds good I'll be there at nine." I reply.

"Great I'll see you in a bit." She says and hangs up.

I finish my breakfast and take a shower before heading to Clare's, getting there just after nine. She opens the door with a smile but I do see that she's moving pretty slow and careful a definite sign that she's sore because they had sex and he was rough. I stop myself from making any comments because I know it'll just upset her and we'll end up fighting. I put my backpack with all the books in it on the coffee table and sit on the sofa, she sits in the chair at the end of the coffee table and we start studying. We take a break after an hour and Clare gets out some lemonade and then it's back to studying. After another hour it's time for a second break.

"You hungry we have sandwiches or leftover chicken satay from dinner last night." She offers.

"Why don't we go to the Dot and I'll get us some lunch, then we can go by and see Adam. I'm guessing you didn't make it to see him yesterday either." I suggest.

She gets a like guilty look on her face and bites her lip. "That would be nice." She says.

We leave her house, get in my car and I drive us to the Dot. Ray's on today, we place our order, I pay and we sit down. Every time I try and talk about Jay at lunch she changes the subject so I give up and just watch her silently. When she notices me watching her she blushes and looks away. After we eat I drive us to Adam's, she's still walking slow and moving carefully. She's kind of trying to like hide it but she wasn't succeeding, I didn't want her to hide it, I wanted Owen, Drew and Bianca to see. To know what she'd been doing yesterday because I had to talk about it with somebody. I even wanted Adam and Eli and anyone else who was at Adam's house to know, even though they don't know about Jay's age the more people to like get on her case about his behavior the better I figured. I open the sliding glass door to the basement and everyone looks over at us; Jenna's here and so are Eli, Drew, Owen, Bianca, Katie and Dave.

"Hey guys, sorry I didn't make it over yesterday." Clare says as we come in.

Eli gets up from the sofa so she can sit down and I lean on the wall next to Owen and Drew.

"Did he even let you out of bed yesterday?" Eli asks and I don't miss the harsh tone in his voice as her ex but he's worried too.

Clare's cheeks go bright red; she bites her lip and looks away, which I take to mean no he didn't let her out of bed yesterday. Owen tenses next to me and I realize I've clenched my own fists in anger. It may not be what happened but the way I picture it that asshole like tied her up in bed and raped her all day, even if he didn't she's walking slow and wobbly and I know he hurt her. Not to mention she was exhausted when she called me last night. Bianca must notice or think I'm about to hit something because she suddenly gets up and grabs my arm taking me upstairs.

"We're gonna get snacks and drinks; Owen, Drew come help." Bianca insists as she walks us upstairs.

We go upstairs to the kitchen and huddle near the pantry in the back.

"So what did she do yesterday?" Owen asks me.

"I don't know, she didn't tell me. Obviously they had sex again and obviously he was rough again but she didn't give me details and I didn't ask. I didn't want to fight with her. I didn't see her at all yesterday and when she called me late that afternoon she was exhausted." I inform them.

"I can try talking to her, she might talk to me." Bianca offers.

"Why don't we just get her up here and demand to know what happened?" Drew suggests.

"Because she might not tell you guys. You've had a crush on her forever, you're her best friend's brother and she's only been friends with you a few days. She's only been friends with me a few days too but I'm a girl." Bianca tells us.

"You'll have to do it fast or wait until tomorrow or something because we should go soon." I reply.

"I'll wait give it a day or too, now we should probably actually get snacks and take them downstairs." Bianca points out.

Drew pours some chips in a bowl, I grab a case of soda from the fridge, Bianca gets out a fruit tray and Owen just grabs some boxes of crackers and a thing of cheese then we go back downstairs.

"Clare we should probably get back to studying." I tell her as I put the soda on the table.

"How's that going?" Owen asks.

"He's doing really well in science and social studies, he has some trouble with math and English but he's still doing pretty well and we have lots of time before he has to take the test." Clare tells them as I take her hands and help her to stand.

"Well the only class he used to do well in was auto shop so you must be doing something right Clare." Owen compliments her and she smiles.

"Mom is taking me to get a dress for the wedding tomorrow," Clare tells Adam making a face, "so depending on how long that takes I may not make it over tomorrow."

"No problem, have fun dress shopping," Adam replies getting up to hug her goodbye.

We wave to the others and leave the Torres house, getting back into my car and driving back to Clare's. We study for the rest of the afternoon, taking breaks every hour or so. She keeps sitting in the arm chair though, like she's purposely avoiding being near me. A little after five her mom gets home and I think I should go.

"Hi honey, Fitz," her mother greets us as she comes in the house.

"Hi mom I've been helping Fitz study all day," Clare says gesturing to the books on the table like she's making sure her mom doesn't think we were doing naughty things all day.

"That's nice; Fitz would like to stay for dinner? It's just a casserole but you're welcome to stay." Helen offers.

I look at Clare and she smiles at me so I take that to mean I should stay. "Sure that'd be nice." I reply.

We go back to studying while her mom makes a salad and puts the casserole in the oven. Glen gets home just before dinner is ready, Clare and I stop studying to set the table.

"I was thinking we'd go downtown for dress shopping tomorrow Clare," Helen says to her about half way through dinner and after her and Glen had been dominating the conversation.

"Sure Mom sounds good," Clare replies.

She still sounds a little bitter about the wedding but not as much as she did I guess she's starting to accept it.

"You'll need to call your father after dinner as well." Her mom remarks.

Clare stops eating and looks at her. "Why?" She asks.

"Glen and I will be going to see his parents on Sunday morning and then my parents Wednesday night since they won't be at the wedding. We'll be back next Sunday night and you'll be staying with your father while we're gone because I don't want you at the house by yourself." Helen informs her.

"Fine," Clare replies with a clenched jaw.

As soon as dinners over Clare gets up from the table and gets her phone from her purse.

"Hi Dad," she says and then goes up the stairs so we can't hear the rest of her conversation. I help clean up a little before Clare comes back downstairs. "Fitz you don't have to clean; besides you have to be up early tomorrow." She insists pulling my arm to get me out of the kitchen.

"Trying to get rid of me," I tease as we start packing up the books.

"No I just know you have to be up early to open the Dot, do you want me to help so we can study?" She asks as we walk to the door.

She calls that she's walking me out to the car as we open the front door and walk out.

"No don't worry about it, call me when you're done with your mom and if it's early enough we can meet. Are you going to be okay at your Dad's this week? You didn't sound too happy about staying with him." I point out.

"It's not my Dad that's the problem; it's that woman he left my mom for. I've never met her and I never plan too. I'll be fine though," she smiles mischievously.

"You didn't call your dad did you?" I question.

"No I called Jay and I'll stay with him this week," she replies.

I get a sudden tightness in my chest, I'm afraid something's going to happen to her. I don't trust that bastard at all and her spending a whole week at his house without needing to check in with her parents sounds like the absolute worst idea to me.

"Just make sure you leave some time to help me study," I request when my head is like screaming at me to beg her not to go.

"Of course I will Fitz, we'll still study everyday or just about." She smiles.

There's this like awkward moment where we're trying to figure out how to say goodnight or whatever, should I hug her, shake her hand? Of course what I want to do is kiss her.

"Well I should go goodnight Clare," I say just to break the silence.

"Night Fitz I'll call you tomorrow," she replies.

She kind of waves then turns walking back to the house, I watch her until she's inside and then get in my car to drive home. All I can think about on the drive and the whole night is that she should not be spending a week in that bastard's apartment alone with him.

**Update Soon**


	14. Anytime at All

**Hey guys I know this is going up late and I'm sorry. I have some family stuff to deal with and because of it will be moving from Texas back to Cali in a few weeks. Which means the next few weeks are going to be fairly hectic both preparing to move and driving from east Texas to northern California so I will do my best to continue updating everyday but it just may not be possible. I'll still update in order of course and chapters may be a little shorter for a while, this one isn't but others may be. Once I'm settled in Cali the updates will be everyday again.  
**

**Anyway enjoy this update!**

**Ch. 14 Any Time at All**

**(CLARE)**

"Well I think the dress we got is just lovely," Mom said as we sat down to eat lunch after a morning of shopping.

"I agree mom, it's very nice." I nodded.

I liked the dress and I was actually rather surprised that my mom let me pick it out as it was rather on the sexy side; red with an empire waist that showed off my chest and black accents. The first thought I had when I saw the dress on me in the mirror was that Jay would like me in this, then I wondered what Fitz would think which made me feel guilty for that thought so I texted a picture of me in the dress to Jay. He was at work though so I hadn't heard back from him yet.

"Listen Baby I really am sorry that my wedding and being with Glen means you can't be with Jake but I think we're going to be a wonderful family." Mom said after the waitress had taken our orders.

"Honestly Mom I haven't thought about Jake in over a week. You and Glen are good together and I'm sure we'll be a happy family." I told her.

"That's very mature of you Clare," Mom smiles. "Is the reason you haven't thought about Jake because you have new beau?" Mom asks.

I want to tell her yes, that I'm dating Jay and I hardly remember Jake but I can't. "No I've just been super busy between Adam, Jenna, Wes and Connor not to mention helping Fitz study." I tell her and it's mostly true.

"You know I really do think it's great what you're doing to help Fitz go back to school education is important." Mom says as our salads are brought out.

"Thanks Mom, actually could you drop me off at the Dot when we're done with lunch? I can text Fitz and ask him to wait for me." I request.

"Sure Sweetheart but don't forget you need to pack tonight to go to your Dad's tomorrow for the week." Mom says.

"I know Mom he's picking up after work," I lie as I pull out my phone to send Fitz a text.

**Clare: Just finishing lunch with my mom if you can wait for me I can be there in about an hour to help you study.**

**Fitz: I'll wait at Above the Dot.**

Mom and I finish lunch with just some small talk then Mom drops me off at the Dot and I go upstairs to the club. Fitz is on the sofa with a book open on his lap, he looks over and smiles at me when I come in.

"So you found a dress?" Fitz asks.

"Yeah it's nice you want to see?" I ask sitting next to Fitz and pulling out my phone to show him the picture I took in the mirror. "It's kind of a bad picture because I took it in the mirror."

"No it's a great picture you look beautiful." Fitz compliments.

"Thanks," I smile, "let's get to it, what were you studying?" I ask.

"Looking over math since I have the most trouble with it." He tells me.

I take the book from Fitz and lay back on the sofa with my feet next to his leg. I start out easy and get to the harder questions; he gets all the easy ones right and a few of the hard ones right. After an hour I decide it's time for a break and get up grabbing a couple of water bottles from the kitchen. After the break we work on English, he has the most trouble with punctuation and spelling, he's actually surprisingly good at sentence structure and the rest of it.

"I should get home for dinner, Mom and Glen leave tomorrow night and they want us to have dinner together." I tell him when I see it's almost five.

"You're still going to stay at Jay's all week?" Fitz asks me as I stand up and help him put the books back.

"Yes, I can't stay at my dad's and Jay's my boyfriend I spend the night at his house all the time." I reply.

"I know and you're usually hurting the next day." Fitz counters.

"Fitz that's not true!" I argue.

"Really? You've been dating what two weeks? You lost your virginity after two days and how many times have you been hurting the next day because he was rough during sex? Not to mention the bruise on your arm the other day!" Fitz reminds me.

"He was drunk he didn't mean to hurt me, if you're going to verbally attack my boyfriend and my relationship every time I see you it's going to make it awfully hard to spend time together." I remark.

Fitz's expression changes from angry to a little hurt, his posture slumping a bit. "I'm sorry Clare I don't mean to honestly I just don't want you to get hurt. I care about you Clare and I worry." He tells me.

A smile creeps across my lips and I put my hand on his arm. "I know Fitz, I appreciate it and I care about you too. I couldn't have made it through the last two weeks without you and I feel better just knowing you're there for me and I can count on you." I reply.

His lips lengthen, turning at the corners in a blissful smile. His hand goes to the small of my back and without thinking my hands go to the back of his neck as our lips crush together. His tongue probes my bottom lip and they part allowing his tongue in. He pulls me closer to him deepening the kiss and I feel the fire in my belly getting stoked and then it occurs to me what I'm doing and I pull away with a gasp.

"Oh my god! I shouldn't have…we shouldn't have…I have to go!" I stammer heading for the door but Fitz catches my arm before I make it.

"Clare it was just a kiss and I kissed you I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have and I won't tell anyone or do it again." Fitz apologizes.

"No I kissed you back and it's not the first time but I shouldn't have either time I'm with Jay and I love Jay. I have to go; I'll come on your lunch tomorrow and help you study." I insist trying to leave but he doesn't let me.

"It's a hundred degrees outside Clare let me give you a ride." He says and I nod.

We go down getting in his car and he drives to my house parking out front.

"Thanks for the ride Fitz, I'll come on your lunch tomorrow and we can study before I go to Jay's." I tell him.

He smiles; I get out of the car and unlock my front door waving to Fitz before I go inside.

**(FITZ)**

Clare shows up to the Dot five minutes before my lunch break, she sits at the counter and waits for me. I order us some lunch and we take it upstairs to the air conditioned club grabbing the books from my car on the way. We sit on one of the sofas and eat while she helps me study. When she's done eating Clare takes the book leaning against the armrest, bending her knees and leaning the book against her legs. I watch her like twirl a curl around her finger as she reads a question and I just sit and like watch her. She's so unbelievably beautiful to me that the most mundane things she does are just breathtakingly gorgeous. Like the way she breathes is like a goddess, the way her breasts gently heave up and down with each sweet breath. Watching her is like hypnotizing or whatever.

"Fitz pay attention!" She admonishes kicking me lightly with her foot and snapping me out of it.

"Sorry uh what was the question?" I ask.

"Why don't we stop for now, you have to get back downstairs in a few minutes anyway. I'll stick around, we can study while it's slow and on your break and for an hour so after your shift if you don't mind dropping me off at Jay's." She says.

I never mind doing anything Clare asks me too, she doesn't realize it but she has the power to like make me do anything at all. Do I like the idea of dropping her off at that bastards apartment? Not one little bit but it's what she wants so I will.

"No I don't mind," I reply.

She smiles as we pick up our trash and pack up the books to go back downstairs. I clock back in and get back to work while Clare sits at the counter. We study whenever it's slow and she always stops when customers come in. On my break we study in the break room and when my shift finally ends we go back up to the club and study for an hour.

"We have to swing by my house first so I can get my bag," Clare tells me when we're at my car.

"No problem," I reply.

I drive the short distance to her house and she runs in coming back out with a suitcase. I get out to put her suitcase in the trunk and then we drive to Jay's apartment building.

"Do you want me to walk you upstairs?" I offer.

She looks at me with a soft smile that can like make your heart melt. "No that's okay, thanks for the ride Fitz I'll see you tomorrow." She says starting to get out of the car.

I catch her wrist lightly and she looks back at me. "Just promise me that you'll call me if you need to. If anything happens, if you're even a little afraid or anything at all. I don't care what time it is." I insist.

"I promise," she says smiling a little wider.

She gets out of the car and I watch her walk into the building driving off only when she's no longer in sight. I should go home and eat dinner but I just can't stop worrying about Clare at Jay's apartment for a week. Deciding I should tell someone and have someone else to worry with me I park and call Owen.

"Hey what's up you off?" Owen asks when he answers.

"Yeah been off for almost two hours, are you at Adam's?" I question.

"No I'm at home, I was only over there for a little while there was a ton of people there today. Clare was there this morning for a little while until B gave her a ride to the Dot." Owen says.

"Yeah we were studying I just dropped her off, you wanna grab an early dinner or something or will your mom kill you?" I question.

"No the parents are out tonight and little bro's at his friend's house. Meet me at Little Miss Steaks in thirty." Owen says and hangs up.

Turning the car around I get to the restaurant early and get us a booth in the back corner.

"Oh hey Fitz," K.C. greets me I guess he's my waiter, "can I get you something to drink?"

"Coke and Owen is meeting me here, he'll be here soon." I tell him.

"Okay cool," K.C. nods walking away.

A few minutes later Owen sits down across from me and whistles at K.C. to come over and he does.

"Chocolate milkshake and a cheeseburger with bacon." Owen orders.

"Yeah I'll have a cheeseburger too," I tell K.C. who writes it down and walks back to the kitchen.

"So what's up?" Owen inquires.

"I know you're going to say it's because I've had the most pathetic crush on her forever and I should just leave it but I think it's like the worst idea ever!" I exclaim.

"Dude make some sense will you? What's going on with Clare?" Owen asks.

"Her mom went out of town for the week and she was supposed to stay at her dad's but she doesn't want to so she's staying at Jay's instead! Alone with that bastard in his apartment for a whole week! I just know it's going to go bad, I don't want her to get hurt but she won't listen!" I explain pounding my fist on the table in frustration.

K.C. gives me a look as he comes over with our drinks but doesn't ask any questions.

Owen waits until K.C.'s over by the kitchen before he talks. "So wait she's just staying there all week? She won't have to check in with her mom or get home? No you're right this is bad, she spends one night and he barely lets her out of bed. He's already hurt her and if he has her for a whole week he could do…all sorts of things to her." Owen says with a tight jaw.

"She promised to call me at any time if something was even remotely wrong but I'm afraid she won't. I just worry that she won't because she doesn't me to get mad or worried or whatever and I know he's going to hurt her." I tell Owen.

"Yeah he probably will hurt her, we better keep a close eye on her. For the record dude your pathetic crush got you a good friendship which is pretty cool." Owen says fist bumping me as K.C. brings our burgers.

"Got me more than that," I smile when K.C. walks away, "we've kissed; twice but don't tell anybody. She kissed me back too, she felt really guilty after but we kissed."

"No way?! You kissed her? Dude be careful Jay's an ass but he is her boyfriend just be careful." Owen advises.

"Yeah I know, it was stupid but the kisses were really good." I say before taking a bite of my burger.

We eat while talking about the old days when we were bad, pay for our food and walk out to the parking lot.

"Hey call me on your break tomorrow if neither of us has heard from Clare we should probably check on her." Owen says as he's getting into his car.

"Yeah I will," I nod.

I get in my car and drive home, I still don't like the idea of Clare staying at Fitz's for the week but at least I know Owen will help and he'll probably spread the word to B and Drew too so if that bastard does try anything he'll have the four of us to deal with!

**(CLARE)**

"Hey Babe, do you know how much I love coming home to you?" Jay asks, dropping his keys in the dish by the door then hopping on the sofa next to me and catching my lips for a hard, fevered yet quick kiss. "I think you should just move in with me, tell your mother to go to hell because you're moving in with your wonderful boyfriend." Jay says and I honestly don't think he's joking but I laugh it off anyway.

"Jay my mom would kill me and probably have you arrested and I'm pretty sure a good deal of my friends might kill you too." I reply.

"You mean Fitz and those other guys I met the other night," Jay kind of growls.

"Yeah them and Eli, Adam and a few others if they ever find out how old you are. Why don't you go take a shower and wash all the car grease off of you while I start some dinner." I suggest.

"She's beautiful, sexy and she cooks how could I not be in love," Jay smiles pressing his lips to mine again. "Okay I'll go shower, least I can do is be clean before I fuck you good tonight." Jay smiles getting up from the sofa.

"Jay!" I admonish scowling at his back as he walks to the washroom.

When he has the door closed I get up and go to the kitchen to see what he has and what I can make for dinner. He went grocery shopping again and I find all I need to make lasagna and salad. By the time he gets out of the shower I'm putting the lasagna in the oven. Jay comes into the kitchen wearing nothing but a towel with his hair still wet which he shakes when he gets near me getting some water droplets on me. Opening the fridge he pulls out a beer for himself and a wine cooler for me.

"I don't know if I should," I shake my head when he hands me the wine cooler.

"Come on Babe it's just one and it's not like you have school or work in the morning, have a little fun." He insists and I give in

He takes me by the hand and leads me to the sofa, turning on the TV while we sit down and wait for the lasagna to cook.

"Aren't you going to put some clothes on?" I inquire.

"No because after dinner I'm going to fu…I mean make love to you until you're so exhausted you fall asleep." Jay informs me.

"Jay I…" I start to argue but he cuts me off with his lips on mine.

He takes off the towel so that he's now completely naked, leaning over me and leaning me back so that I feel his dick getting hard and erect as we kiss. His fingers gently brush over my belly and my stomach muscles tense and tingle.

"It's been three whole days Babe you must be healed by now and I'm dying to feel you, be inside of you again." He whispers next to my ear and I feel my will power literally draining away.

"Just be gentle," I barely get the words out before his lips are on mine again.

When the lasagna's finally done we eat on the sofa of course and Jay gets me another wine cooler and himself another beer and yes he even ate naked. After we eat I clean up and then Jay starts pulling me to the bedroom.

"Jay I'm tired and I'm here all week can't we…"

This time I don't get to finish my thought because he picks me up and tosses me on the bed. His lips attach to mine before I can even catch my breath which then hitches in my throat as his fingers go up my shorts and into my pussy. His fingers rapidly get to work and as soon as I moan he pulls out.

"Relax Babe I'll do all the work you just lie there and be sexy." He smiles.

"Don't forget a condom," I remind him.

He smiles and pulls one from the drawer, setting it on the bed next to us. Then he unfastens my shorts, pulls them down with my panties dropping them to the floor. He pulls me up by the hand and takes my top and bra off dropping them to the floor as well. Then he leans over to the nightstand and pulls out the box of vibrators pulling out the second smallest one and slipping it into me. He turns it on and begins thrusting it rapidly; I start to moan gripping the sheets underneath me as my head lulls back. He starts twisting, while rubbing my clit with his thumb and thrusting even faster.

Just as I think I won't be able to stand it an longer he stops rubbing my clit and I vaguely hear the sound of the condom wrapper opening and a few seconds later he removes the vibrator from me and then his rock hard cock pushes into me swiftly. He pushes in fast, hard and all the way and any pleasure I was feeling evaporates as I scream out in pain. I grip into the sheets tighter as tears of pain roll down my cheeks; I cringe and try to move away a little. Jay puts his arm under my back forcing it to arch and presses me into him more. The pain is so great that all I can do is cry and make shuddering deep breaths unable to even make a noise of pain. Thankfully Jay was horny and he's done pretty quickly pulling out of me collapsing to his back next to me as I curl into a fetal position and cry silently into the pillow.

"That was awesome Babe; I missed the feeling of you." Jay says rolling over, kissing the back of my neck and rubbing my back. "Sorry Babe, we'll work on loosening you up some tomorrow and I have Tuesday off we can work on it all day. It's not late you want to go watch a movie or something?" He asks.

"Sure but can you carry me?" I request.

"Of course Babe but you don't get to wear clothes for the rest of the night," he smiles coming around to the side of the bed and picking me up.

An unintentional painful grunt comes from my lips as he picks me up, he sets me on the sofa and sits behind me opening his legs so I sit between them. He turns on the TV wrapping his arms around me and finds a movie for us to watch. I only get through about half an hour of the movie before I fall asleep on Jay. I wake up the next morning when Jay gets out of bed, my eyes blinking open and I yawn.

"What time is it?" I ask with another yawn.

"A little before seven, I gotta head into work soon." Jay tells me kissing my cheek.

"Can you drop me at Adam's house or close to it anyway?" I question.

"Sure thing Babe but you gotta get up now." Jay says.

I sit up and suck in a sharp breath. "Can you grab me some aspirin Jay?"

"Yeah sure, stay put." He replies going out to washroom and kitchen returning with some water and aspirin for me.

"Thanks," I smile and he kisses me.

I take the aspirin and get dressed throwing on a dress and undergarments of course. I'm not the least bit hungry so I skip breakfast and the aspirin finally kicks in about half way to Adam's. Jay drops me off a couple houses down from and gives me a hard wanting kiss before I get out of the car. It's only 7:30 and the Torres parents haven't left for work yet but I can go into the basement. Even with the aspirin I'm moving pretty slow and it isn't until I'm opening the basement door I realize I left my purse and phone at Jay's. Closing the basement door I curl up in the corner of the sofa, turning on the TV and keeping the volume low. At 8:30 I hear Audra and Omar's cars leaving and a few minutes later Drew comes loping down the stairs.

"You're here early; wait you didn't go walking in the middle of the night again did you?" Drew asks.

"No Jay dropped me off a little while ago on his way to work." I tell Drew.

"So you stayed over again," Drew states.

"DREW!" Adam yells before I can answer.

"Is he okay?" I question.

"Probably just need my help getting dressed; he's not supposed to move his arm yet. Be right back." Drew says.

Drew runs back up the stairs and several minutes later both Torres boys come down the stairs just as Owen comes through the basement door.

"When were you going to tell us you were staying with Jay all week?" Owen questions as he comes in.

"Wait you're…what? What did you tell your mom?" Adam questions.

"Mom is away with Glen for the whole week," I inform them as Adam sits on one side of me, Drew sits next to him and Owen sits on the other side of me.

Adam is just sort of staring at me, Owen looks angry and Drew looks somewhere between worried and angry.

"So you're shacking up with your boyfriend? Where does your mom think you are?" Adam questions.

"At my dad's," I shrug.

They all start talking at once and I can't make out a single thing their saying.

"GUYS STOP!" I yell and they all fall silent. "I stay the night all the time. I'm not shacking up with Jay I'm just staying for the week while my mom's out of town. I already promised Fitz I would call him no matter what the time if something was even remotely wrong so will you all stop worrying?" I plead.

They all glower at me a little but they stop talking at least.

**(FITZ)**

When Ray comes on shift I take my break and call Owen.

"Yo she's here; she was here when I got here early this morning." Owen tells me and I'm relieved.

"Good she's not answering her phone," I tell him.

"Hey why aren't you answering your phone?" Owen asks her but keeps the phone by his face.

"I left my purse at Jay's," I hear her reply.

"Let me talk to her," I request and hear him pass the phone to Clare.

"Hey I'm fine I just forgot my purse, can you come get me when you're off so I can help you study for a while?" She asks.

"Yeah I'll pick you up when I'm done. Everything was okay last night?" I ask again.

"Uh yeah everything was fine," she answers slowly and I think she's not telling me something.

"Okay I gotta get back to work soon I'll see you when I'm off. Give Owen back his phone please," I request and hear her pass the phone back.

"Hey you comin' over when you get off?" He asks me.

"Yeah I'm coming to get Clare so we can study. Is she moving slow again? Does she look in pain?" I ask him.

He's silent for a minute. "She's not really moving at all." Owen tells me.

"Yeah watch her closely I'll see you guys a little after one." I tell him.

"Will do," Owen says and we hang up.

After hanging up with Owen I go back in and get back to work. Time drags by and my shift seems to take forever but finally it's over and I rush out to drive to Adam's. Parking behind Owen's car I get out and go to the basement door.

"Hey Fitz," Adam and Eli say together.

"Hey buddy," Owen nods at me.

Katie, Jenna, Drew, Dave and Wes all wave at me and Bianca smiles.

"Hi, you ready to study?" Clare asks standing up and she falters a little.

I rush over to steady her but Eli and Adam who are sitting on either side of her beat me to it.

"You okay?" Eli asks her.

"Been sitting all day," she replies.

"We should get going I have lots of studying to do and I don't know how much time she's going to have for me this week." I tell them.

"I told you I'd help you study this week. I'll try and come over tomorrow Adam but it's Jay's day off." She says hugging Adam and waving to the others.

"Bye Clare, Fitz." Everyone says almost simultaneously.

"It's pretty hot out, where do you want to go?" I ask her as we start walking to my car.

"We can go to my house since nobody's there," she suggests.

We get in and I drive to her house, she gets a spare key from underneath the mailbox and we go inside. She gets out some lemonade in a pitcher pouring two glasses and we sit at the table to study. Taking a break every hour or so we study until four when she closes the book we're working in.

"You did really great but Jay will be home soon and I can tell you're getting tired so I think we should be done for the day." She tells me.

"Sure, I'll take you to Jay's just remember to call me if you need to." I remind her.

"I promise," she smiles.

We pack up, she locks the door again and we get in my car. I park across the street from Jay's apartment building and she waves to me as she gets out. She waves just before she goes through the door and I drive off when she's no longer in sight. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know something bad is about to happen? The farther I drive from Clare the stronger that feeling gets.

**(CLARE)**

When I reach Jay's door I can hear noises on the other side and I know he's in there so I knock. The door is thrown open and Jay yanks me inside roughly slamming the door shut once I'm in. He's squeezing my wrist hard, his eyes narrowed into a malicious stare and his mouth in a thin angry line.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR TWENTY MINUTES AND YOU NEVER ANSWERED! YOU ALWAYS ANSWER WHEN I CALL UNDERSTOOD?!" He yells at me.

"I'm sorry," I whimper both in pain and from fear, "I forgot my purse this morning. I didn't have my keys or my phone. I was at Adam's all day until I was helping Fitz study at my house. Jay you're hurting me please let go," I plead.

"I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU AND YOU'VE BEEN ALONE IN YOUR HOUSE WITH HIM?! DID HE TOUCH YOU? ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME? IF HE TOUCHED YOU I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" Jay yells tightening his grip on my wrist and I shriek with a painful cry, tears racing down my cheeks.

"Jay my wrist please, it hurts." I beg putting my free hand on his chest hoping he'll calm down a little and he finally releases my wrist. I cradle it to my chest holding it with my free hand. "Fitz didn't touch me I told you we're just friends and I'm helping him study for his placement exam. I told you that you have nothing to worry about I love you don't be jealous you have no reason to be." I assure him standing on my tiptoes to place my lips on his for a gentle kiss.

I can feel him begin to calm the longer my lips are on his and then he picks me up carrying me to sofa and setting me on his lap. He breaks from the kiss, cupping my chin and locking his eyes with mine, wiping some tears from my face.

"I'm sorry Babe I just love you so much I was so worried when I couldn't find you. If anything ever happened to you I don't know what I'd do. The thought of any other guy touching you kills me, I love you so much Babe and if I ever find out some other guy touched you I'd kill them. I love you Clare, so much it hurts." He says.

"I know, I love you too." I reply softly.

Everything he just said makes perfect sense, he loves me so much and he was so worried that he lost his head and his temper. Or that's what I'm telling myself because the other possibility is too frightening. He takes my hand from wrist and gingerly holds it kissing it gently.

"I feel terrible Babe I didn't mean to hurt you. You're so delicate and I forget how strong I am. I really am sorry Babe I didn't mean to hurt you believe me." He says with pleading eyes.

"I know," I reply.

"You sit right here and I'll get you some ice and order us some dinner." He says picking me up and setting me on the sofa again.

He goes to the kitchen and comes back with an ice pack in a dish towel placing it on my wrist. Grabbing his phone from his pocket he orders some pizza then gets a beer and a wine cooler from the fridge. Jay turns on the TV and puts my feet on his lap while we wait for the pizza. When it comes Jay removes my feet from his lap and opens the door paying for the pizza. He takes the ice of my wrist and brings me a plate with pizza on it, after dinner he cleans up and puts me on his lap again to watch TV.

He's being so sweet, caring and gentle that I convince myself he just lost his head and didn't know he was hurting me, that he loves me so much and was so worried he simply wasn't thinking. We just sit on the sofa watching TV all night and it's really nice. I know I should call Fitz and tell him what happened but Jay's not leaving my side and he's already worried I've been cheating on him with Fitz so calling him is not a good idea.

Now however I feel even worse about my kisses with Fitz, Jay can never know and it can never happen again. When I yawn Jay picks me up and carries me into the bedroom he even helps me into my pajamas. Then he locks up and turns off all the lights in the living room before getting in bed with me. Rolling over he holds me close kissing my cheek softly.

"I love you Clare," Jay says in a quiet voice.

"I love you too," I say back.

And I do love Jay so why is the last thought on my mind before I fall asleep of Fitz?

**Update Soon**


	15. Run For Your Life

**Ch. 15 Run For Your Life**

**(CLARE)**

I wake up when I feel Jay getting out of the bed the next morning, I see him walking out to the washroom. Turning my head I look at the clock on the nightstand, it's nearly ten I should get up and my stomach grumbles to tell me it's time to eat. I sit up on the edge of the bed pressing my hands into the mattress to get up but there's a sharp burning pain in my wrist, I shriek taking my hand off the mattress and clutching it to my chest. It all comes back to me, what happened last night and the bruise on my wrist as a few tears come from my eyes. I look down at my wrist to see that it's dark purple and swollen and the first thought in my mind is that Fitz is going to be mad. Jay comes back in the room as I'm looking at my wrist. Coming over he kneels in front of me gingerly taking my hand and looking at my wrist.

"Oh Babe I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. You know I love you don't you?" Jay says softly kissing my wrist and brushing a curl behind my ear.

"I know," I nod.

"I'll get you some ice and aspirin and make you some breakfast." He tells me picking me up in his arms.

He takes me to the sofa setting me down bringing me some aspirin and a glass of water a minute later. I take the aspirin, he hands me the remote and goes into the kitchen to make breakfast but comes back out handing me an ice pack wrapped in a towel. I put on the TV finding something I think we can both watch but I can't help looking at my wrist. It's the color of a plum in the center fading out to sickly looking blue around the edges. It's too swollen and fresh to see his finger marks right now but they might become visible as it heals. I hear Jay making some noises in the kitchen and I cover the bruise with the ice again. Jay comes over with some juice for me and a beer for him and comes back with some toaster waffles with butter and syrup on them. For a while we sit watching TV while we eat when we're finished he takes our plates to the sink.

"What do you wanna do today Babe? It's my day off and we have all day." Jay says.

"I don't know just take it easy for now my wrist still hurts." I reply.

"Relaxing at home I'm cool with that," Jay smiles holding open his arm to indicate he wants to hold me and I lean on him as he wraps his arm around me.

I take the ice off my wrist and place it on the coffee table. After a couple of hours the swelling hasn't gone down at all and my wrist still hurts.

"Can you get my purse please? I have some acetaminophen in there." I request.

"Sure Babe, your wrist still hurting?" Jay asks and I nod.

I sit up so Jay can get up; he grabs my purse and brings it to me, I start fishing around for the pill box I keep in my purse with pain relievers and simple first aid. I get it out and open it with one hand with some difficulty. Jay comes back to the sofa with a beer for himself and a glass of something for me, it's caramel in color and some kind of alcohol I just don't know what.

"It's a double shot of rum; it'll help with the pain." Jay informs me.

"Mixing alcohol with pain relievers probably isn't a good idea." I argue.

"You took over the counter stuff it's fine." He assures me.

"I'll give the acetaminophen a chance to work," I reply and Jay shrugs.

I put the pill box back and my purse and set it on the coffee table. Jay looks at my open purse leaning over he pulls out my birth control.

"What's this? When did you go on birth control?" He questions.

"After we started having sex," I reply.

"You shouldn't take these they can hurt you, besides I wear condoms." Jay tells me.

"I know but…" I start when Jay cups my chin and puts his lips on mine to silence me.

"I don't want you on birth control pills I wear condoms don't worry about it." He commands.

I'm not sure how to reply so I don't, just bite my lip as he puts his arm around me again holding me tightly. Finally the pain relievers start to work and my wrist starts to feel better, even the swelling goes down a little. Seeing that I'm not going to drink the rum Jay downs it.

"I should call Adam let him know I won't be over today," I say reaching over to get my phone.

"I can take you over there if you want?" Jay offers.

I do want to go to Adam's, I don't want anyone to see my wrist and it's too hot to wear long sleeves.

"No it's okay I was over there yesterday and anyway it's your day off." I reply holding down number four on my phone to speed dial Adam.

"Hey Clare," Adam says.

I get up and go into the bedroom so the TV isn't in the background. "Hey Adam I won't be over today." I tell him.

"It's fine, you said it was Jay's day off." Adam says but I can hear through the phone that he's holding back a comment.

The rest of the people in his basement aren't as courteous as I can hear them making comments, can't quite make the comments out but I can hear them flying across the room. I say goodbye to Adam, hang up and call Fitz to leave a message that I won't be able to help him study today. I know he's on shift right now but I still call his cell so I can leave a message rather than talk to him. After leaving a message for Fitz I go back out to the living room putting my phone back in my purse and sitting on the sofa next to Jay, he puts his arm around me once more.

We spend the day watching movies and TV on the sofa, not a very productive day but I wasn't up for much anyway. Jay does eventually put jeans on but I stay in my pajamas all day. He was sweet all day, getting me ice, food and water, rubbing my shoulders and telling how much he is in love with me once every hour or so. I'm sure that he didn't mean to hurt me; that he loves me and was worried and that's all it was. I'm sure because the alternative is unfathomable.

"I'll order us some dinner," Jay says when the movie we're watching is over and I realize it's almost six. He gets up and goes to the kitchen pulling out some to go menus. "What do you feel like Babe? Chinese? Pizza? Sandwiches? Burgers? Mexican?" Jay asks.

"Chinese is fine," I reply.

He calls in an order, grabs another beer from the fridge and sits back down with me. That's his fourth beer but he's been drinking them slowly all day so he's not exactly drunk, tipsy maybe but not drunk. Jay finds something else to watch on TV while we wait for dinner to come and he drinks the beer he just got quicker than the others. This of course results in him having to use the washroom shortly after he's done and when he's gone into the washroom there's a knock on the door so I get up to answer it figuring it's our food.

"Jay the foods here." I call as I answer the door; careful to hide my wrist as I take the bag of food from the delivery guy. "Hi, he'll be out in a minute to pay you," I tell the delivery guy before taking the food into the kitchen.

I hear the washroom door open and I look over at Jay he's glaring at the delivery guy for some reason. Jay gets out his wallet and pays the guy and then slams the door in the guys face.

"Jay that was rude!" I admonish as he comes into the kitchen.

"He was looking at you, why the hell did you answer the door in your pajamas anyway?" Jay inquires in a harsh and jealous tone.

His eyes have narrowed to slits, his expression hard, angry and accusing. He looks malicious and my heart starts to pound in my chest as the fear in me builds up.

"You were in the washroom, I wasn't going to make him wait out there and I'm wearing pajamas Jay not lingerie or a towel and I'm not naked." I point out.

"Very thin pajamas and you have no bra on!" Jay barks.

"Jay I just opened the door and got the food what does it matter if I have a bra on?" I question.

"I don't like other guys watching you Clare, next time don't answer the door." He orders.

"Jay your being silly I ju…"

I'm not able to finish my sentence because Jay hits me! The back of his hand connecting with the right side of my face with a smacking sound that resonates through my head. Two hot salty tears come from the corners of my eyes and run down my cheeks. The force of the hit was so strong I'm knocked into the counter on the other side of the kitchen, hitting me in the ribs before I fall to the floor. I'm sure I made some noises a shriek or gasp but I don't remember doing so.

"When I tell you not to do something next time fucking listen don't argue with me!" Jay snarls picking me up off the floor roughly.

Tears are falling from my eyes rapidly; my voice gets stuck in my throat with my breath. I'm afraid he's going to hit me again but he lets me go, seemingly completely calm now as though a breaker was turned off and all his anger was turned off with it. As soon as he releases me the instinct to flee becomes overwhelming so I go in to the bedroom slipping on my shoes and then out to the living room again grabbing my purse from the coffee table and heading for the door. My fingertips barely touch the handle before Jay grabs my arm squeezing with incredible force and violently tossing me into the coffee table! I stumble and my hip hits the coffee table before I fall to the floor. Jay picks me up by my pajama top and shoves me against the wall.

"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" He demands.

"I'm leaving; you hit me we're breaking up!" I inform him through the tears and petrified quivering breaths.

"I TOLD YOU BEFORE YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE ME CLARE! IF YOU EVER BREAK UP WITH ME I WILL KILL YOU!" He screams at me.

"Jay you're hurting me please let me go!" I plead.

He softens like that breaker was switched off again, he wipes the tears from my face and kisses me softly, loosening his grip but not letting me go completely.

"I love you Clare, more than anything, so much it hurts and I get jealous. You're so pretty of course every other guy wants you. You can't leave me Clare I need you." He's begging, his eyes pleading, his behavior suddenly almost entirely opposite from thirty seconds ago.

My mind is jumbled so full of emotion and thoughts I can't think of a response and I go on instinct. Putting my hand, the one with the wrist that isn't injured, on the back of his neck and taking a deep breath before I place my lips on his.

"I love you too. I'm not breaking up with you Jay you just scared me." I tell him trying to calm myself.

Jay smiles and lets me go taking my hand from the back of his neck and leading me to the sofa where I sit.

"I'll bring you dinner," he says walking back to the kitchen.

It's as if nothing happened, if not for all the throbbing and painful spots on my body where I was hit or collided with something hard I could think I hallucinated the fight. Jay comes to the sofa handing me a plate with rice, 2 egg rolls and beef with broccoli.

"Jay can I have something to drink please?" I request, it's a test of sorts but I really am thirsty.

"Of course Babe anything you want." He replies.

"Just soda will be fine," I tell him.

Jay smiles and gets up from the sofa; he goes into the kitchen returning a few seconds later with a beer for himself and a soda for me. He opens the soda before handing it to me; I tell him thanks and sip at the soda. We eat in silence while watching TV, Jay cleans up after dinner and comes back to the sofa. I start to feel ill, so many things hurt, the side of my face where he hit me feels big and I can feel my eye swelling slightly.

"I'm not feeling so well I think I need to lie down." I comment trying to get up from the sofa but moving at all is painful.

"What's wrong Babe, the food not sit well with you?" He asks looking over at me.

"_No because you beat me!" _I scream in my head but I don't say anything just nod as I don't know what else to do. I'm afraid he'll hit me again if I bring it up, if he's going to pretend like nothing happened then I should too.

"Well just lay down on me I'll make you feel better," Jay says holding his arm up.

What choice do I have? I slip off my shoes, lie down on my side, curling into a semi fetal position with my head on Jay's lap. He begins gently rubbing my arm and stroking my hair, it's gentle, tender and loving, he loves me, I know he does but I'm still afraid of him. Be it the events of the last hour, all the pain or just a coping technique I fall asleep even though it's not even eight. I wake up some time later when Jay is lifting me off the sofa and it hurts like hell to move.

"Agh! Ugh!" I shriek and then groan as I'm lifted into Jay's arms.

"Sorry Babe you fell asleep I was taking you to the bed." Jay says as I grip his shirt so I won't fall.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"A little after eleven," he replies.

He puts me in the bed and tucks me in, the bruises feel worse than before and I groan with each movement.

"Go back to sleep Babe I'll come to bed shortly." He tells me, kissing my temple.

He leaves the bedroom closing the door behind him making the room nearly pitch black. I'm tired and I feel terrible so I fall back asleep quickly. I wake up a couple hours later; Jay's asleep in the bed next to me because I can hear him snoring. I look over to the clock to see it's almost one in the morning. Now that Jay's asleep all I want to do is get out of here. I bite my lip as I get out of bed to keep from groaning and whimpering with every movement. I tip toe out of the room, slipping out without waking Jay I go to the living room putting my shoes back on and retrieving my purse from where it fell when Jay grabbed me and tossed me across the room. A few of the contents of my purse fell out but I have my phone and that's all I need.

Quietly I exit the apartment and then despite the agony it causes me I run to the elevators frantically pressing the button until the doors open. Once I'm in the elevator I pound the close doors button and then the 1st floor button. I run out the front doors and down the block sinking down behind a parked car and bursting into to tears. The summer night is rapidly turning cold and there's a breeze, I begin to shiver as I pull my phone from my purse.

**(FITZ)**

The ringing of my phone wakes me suddenly from a sound sleep and a nice dream. I grunt and look at the clock to see it's not quite 1am. I grab my phone from TV tray I use as a nightstand but my eyes are too filled with sleep to see who's calling.

"Yeah?" I ask into the phone in a groggy voice.

"Fitz I'm sorry to wake you can you come get me? Please?" Clare begs, she's bawling and sounds terrified and now I'm wide awake.

"I'm on my way, where are you?" I question.

"Near Jay's apartment please hurry." She tells me, she's crying so hard I can barely make out what she's saying.

"I'm coming I'll be there in a few minutes okay? Just stay on the phone with me." I instruct her, holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder while I slip on some jeans.

"Okay," she says on a shaky breath but she sounds a little calmer now knowing that I'm coming.

I put the phone down for a second to slip on a hoodie but don't bother with a shirt then pick it up again and slip on a pair of sneakers. Grabbing my keys I leave my apartment without even bothering to lock it and run to my car.

"Clare I'm getting in my car I'll be there in a couple of minutes. What happened? What did that asshole do to you?" I inquire through clenched teeth as I start my car and start driving as fast as I can without risk of getting pulled over.

"Just come get me," is her only response.

"I'm coming I'll be there in just a minute, stay put okay? I'm just a couple of blocks away. Talk to me Clare, what happened?" I ask, she doesn't reply but I can hear her crying on the other end of the line. "Clare I'm almost there you're okay, I'll be there in a minute, I can see the apartment building now." I assure her.

"Is that you?" She asks, her voice trembling and it breaks my heart to hear her in so much pain and terror.

"I'm flashing my lights, do you see my car?" I ask her.

"Yeah I see you; I'm behind the blue sedan." She tells me with a deep shaky breath.

Only about half the street lights are working but I only see one blue sedan so I pull up next to it. No sooner have I slowed then she opens the door and gets in the car, turning her head to look out the window. She shaking violently and I can't tell if it's because she's sobbing so much or because she's outside in the cold night with no jacket.

"Put this on," I insist to her as I take off the hoodie and hand it to her. Now I'm cold but I don't care as long as she's warm. I turn the heater on in the car as I start driving. "Do you want me to take you home?" I question.

"No," she says shaking her head as she puts on my hoodie. "I don't know where to go. I'm sorry I know you have to be at work in a few hours.

"I have the day off tomorrow, I traded a shift with Laura so she could go to a concert." I inform Clare. Given the hour and the fact that she doesn't want to go home there's only one place I can think to go. "We can go to my place," I suggest.

"What about your parents?" She asks.

"I have my own apartment, moved out of my parents place months ago. It's pretty small just a studio apartment but you can have the bed." I offer.

"Okay," she nods wiping some tears on the sleeve of her hoodie.

I turn around and drive back to my place, parking in my spot, we get out of the car and I think I hear her gasp in pain. She puts up the hood on the hoodie and keeps her head down; I put my hand on her back and notice she's wearing pajama bottoms. My apartments is on the second floor, she seems to be moving stiffly and won't look at me even when we're in the elevator. My thought is that he raped her roughly and that's why she seems to be sore and so afraid. She follows me to my apartment and I open the door locking it behind us.

"Where will you sleep?" She asks as she looks around the small apartment.

"The floor is fine I have some extra blankets," I shrug.

"No don't sleep on the floor, you can sleep in the bed with me or I'll sleep on the floor. I'm sorry I woke you up I just didn't know what else to do." She apologizes crying hard again.

"Clare it's okay, I told you to call me anytime. What happened? What did he do to you?" I ask her.

She turns putting her arms around my neck and crying onto my bare chest. Wrapping my arms around her I hold her gently, I wish I could enjoy the feel of her in my arms more but I'm too worried about what happened. She's so upset and frightened, I want to help her, to make it better but I have to know what's wrong first. After a couple of minutes standing there while she sobs I can feel that she's starting to falter and I pick her up. She makes a noise when I pick her up but I think it's because she's surprised. I carry her to the bed and set her down sitting next to her, she looks down and I reach up my hand to stroke her cheek. When my fingers touch her skin she flinches sucking in a breath. I pull the hood down to reveal her head, she closes her eyes, crying a little harder and my chest gets tight at the sight. The length of the right side of her face is a darkening blue, in another few hours it could be purple! From the corner of her jaw up to the corner of her eye the bruise extends. I feel sick just at the sight of it, sick and angry with a murderous rage for Jay's head.

"Fuck Clare!" I exclaim without really thinking. "He hit you didn't he? He hurt you!" I state through clenched teeth.

She nods and starts to cry even harder, I take a deep breath to calm down for her sake putting my arm around her back; she leans on me crying onto my shoulder. After a while her crying begins to slow, she takes a deep breath and looks up at me, her eyes are so sad, full of pain and asking for help it tears my heart out.

"I think I need to lie down," is all she says.

"Okay lie down in the bed; I'll get you some water." I tell her since I'm sure all the crying has made her dehydrated.

She nods and lies on the left side of the bed pulling the comforter over her, first she lies on her back and then moves to her left side sort of in the fetal position. Getting off the bed and walking the few feet to the kitchen I get her a glass of water, she takes a few sips and then hands it back to me. I reach over and set it on the TV tray then I start to stand up and she catches my arm.

"Sleep in the bed with me, hold me please," she requests.

"Of course," I reply softly.

The prospect of sleeping in the same bed as Clare and holding her all night long should excite me but all I feel is sick and angry. Not at her, never at her but for what that bastard did to her. I slip off my jeans without thinking but she doesn't say anything or even blink. I get in on the other side of the bed lying on my back, as soon as I'm in the bed she moves over laying the undamaged side of her face on my chest. I wrap my arms around her as her right arm rests on my chest her soft fingers resting between my pecs. She cries a little more, very softly now though and I stroke her hair until I feel her fall asleep. Her breathing becomes deeper, her mouth opens against my skin warming that one spot and I don't even mind that I have dried tears on my chest and she's drooling slightly. I on the other hand can't get to sleep, I lie there for hours watching the lights cast from the nearby liquor store sign as they dance on my ceiling. Without knowing what that bastard did to her my mind is rife with possibilities, all of them terrible. Just after dawn she starts to stir, shaking and flinching, making whimpering sounds.

"No Jay stop!" She cries in her sleep and it occurs to me she's having a nightmare.

"Clare wake up," I insist gently shaking her.

She makes a distressing cry and sits up rapidly breaking out of my arms, she's sobbing again and when I touch her back she recoils from me.

"Clare it's okay it's Fitz you're safe, Jay isn't here he can't hurt you." I remind her as I sit up and put my arms around her again.

"Fitz," she says my name softly turning her head into my chest as she begins to sob a little harder.

"It's me you're safe, I've got you." I assure her.

Her hand comes to my arm gripping tightly as if she thinks I might like suddenly vanish or something. I grip her a little tighter and kiss her head from instinct, I half expect her to pull away and get mad at me for kissing her but she just nuzzles into me even more. Finally her crying slows and then stops; I release her with one arm and tip her chin up to look at me. The right side of her face is dark blue almost purple, fading out to a yellowish green around the edges of the bruise. Three darker spots show me where his knuckles hit her and I know he back handed her. The corner of her right eye is swollen a little making it difficult for her to open it all the way and both her eyes are very blood shot with dried tear tracks underneath them. In defiance of all this she's still like a goddess to me, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

"There are more bruises aren't there?" I state more than ask and she nods slowly. "Let me see them Clare, all of them." I say firmly but in a gentle tone.

She bites her lip but nods, pulling out of my arms, she straightens her legs to start pulling off her pajama bottoms but when she whimpers in pain I get off the bed and pull them off for her. She moves to her right a little and I see a dark blue almost purple bruise in a thick line across her hip.

"Can you help me get this off please?" She requests motioning to my hoodie she's still wearing.

"Lift your arms," I tell her and she does.

Gripping the hoodie at the bottom I pull it off of her, it messes her curls even more as it comes off. I set it down and look at her, the first thing that catches my eye is that her left wrist is dark purple and swollen a little. She still has the bruise up near her shoulder where I know he grabbed her, it's pale green and blue now since it's almost a week old but it's still there. She also has another hand shaped bruise in her left forearm like he grabbed her and held her in the bed or against the wall maybe. Then she lifts the left side of her pajama top and I see a blue to purple bruise in a line along her ribs. My chest gets tight, my stomach churns, bile rising in my throat as the anger in me rises. He beat her! Beat her badly and all I want to do is go kill him! My brain begins to come up with all the glorious ways I can beat the crap out of him for ever touching her, until she begins to tremble in my arm and I snap back to the moment in which she needs me.

"Clare, what did he do to you? Tell me everything please," I plead with her.

I cover her legs with the blanket again and she leans on me as she begins recounting the events of the last couple of days. Starting with how her wrist got so badly bruised; how sweet he was the next day and kept apologizing.

"_Of course he did, he probably thought what he was doing was just fine! Fucking Bastard!" _Is what I think while she's telling me but I don't say it out loud.

Then she tells me that after being sweet all day he got angry and jealous when she answered the door in her pajamas and the delivery guy was looking at her. She argued with him to tell him he was being silly and that's when he hit her! Sending her careening into the counter where she got the bruise on her ribs. She tried to leave after that and break up with him but of course he stopped her tossing her into the coffee table and then shoving her into the wall. She tells me in his words that he loves her so much he can't stand to lose her. I think he just likes to control her but I don't say anything. She finishes by telling me that she fell asleep and he took her to the bed and when she woke up near one when he was finally asleep she just wanted to get out of there.

"I'm sorry I called you but I didn't know who else to call and I didn't want to stay there," she apologizes through her tears.

"Clare I told you to call me anytime if you needed to and I meant it. I don't care what time it is, I'm glad you called me." I assure her.

I'd like to say a few other things, like about how Jay is a fucking jackass and he beat her and she should never see him or talk to him again. That I'm going to go find him and kick his fucking ass for touching her but I just know that'll just like lead to an argument so I bite my tongue for the time being and focus on taking care of her. After a minute she tries to lean over me and then winces, guessing that she's trying to get the water I pick it up and hand it to her. She takes a few sips and gives me the glass back.

"Are you hungry?" I question but she shakes her head. We fall silent again until her phone rings and it startles us both. "I'll get it," I tell her getting up and getting her phone, "it's him!" I say in a hard voice.

It's barely six in the morning and he's already calling her! I find that I'm gripping the phone really tightly and have to force myself to loosen my grip.

"Just turn it off," she replies softly and I'm glad she isn't going to talk to him.

"We can stay here all day, I don't have to work and he won't find you here." I assure her.

She just nods bringing her knees to her chest, I go to the kitchen to start some coffee then get back on the bed with her, she leans on me as soon as I'm in the bed and I put my arm around her.

"Clare you know you have to break up with him." I tell her as the coffee begins to brew.

"I can't," she responds in almost a whisper.

"What the hell do you mean you can't?! He beat you Clare! Look at yourself, you're back and blue!" I exclaim unable to hold it in any longer.

"He said if I ever left him, ever broke up with him that he'd kill me and I believe he meant it! He'll kill me Fitz I can't break up with him." She tells me.

"Then I'll break up with him for you!" I state.

"No you can't, he'll think we're together and he'll kill you! Please Fitz I don't want you to get hurt I couldn't stand it. I need you; I don't want anything to happen to you." She begs near hysterics.

"Then we'll go to the cops tell them he beat you, he's 23 and you're sixteen! He'll get arrested an…" I'm saying when she interrupts me.

"No we can't! They'll involve my parents then my mom will kill me or ground me till I'm 18, she won't understand and I'll probably be sent to boarding school or something. I'll be sent away from you, from my friends. Anyway Jay could deny it, there weren't any witnesses, he'd be out on bail until trial and then what do you think will happen?" She questions becoming more and more hysterical.

"We can get a restraining order or…"

She cuts me off again. "A mere piece of paper, he could kill me before the cops even know he broke it. I can't break up with him, I can't leave him, I can't go to the cops. I just need to be away from him as much as possible." She tells me.

She's pretty hysterical now and I don't think she's thinking clearly but arguing with her like this isn't going to get me anywhere right now.

"Peter said you could have a job at the Dot anytime you wanted. It would keep you away from Jay; give you a reason to be out." I suggest to her.

She looks up at me with the smallest of smiles but it's the first time she's smiled at all since I picked her up last night and despite how small her smile is I return it.

"I like that idea and I'd be working with you, Jay can't argue about me having a job and even my mom would like it." She says.

"It's pretty early but I'll call Peter in a couple of hours." I tell her.

She puts her hand behind my neck and brings her lips to mine gently. "Thanks Fitz, for everything." She says when she pulls away.

"I think the coffee's done, you want some?" I ask and she nods.

I leave her on the bed to get the coffee and she watches me the whole time. I'm hoping once she calms down some more and can think more clearly she'll break up with Jay or go to the cops or just let me pound the snot out of him. I won't bring it up though at least not right now, she was hysterical about it just a few minutes ago. I pour two cups of coffee, putting cream in both and extra sugar in hers before taking it back to the bed and handing her mug to her. I lean against the wall behind my bed and she leans on me while we sip our coffee. I force her to eat a bagel with cream cheese so she has some food in her and I have some too. By now it's a little after eight and I figure it's safe to call Peter.

"What's up everything okay at the Dot?" Peter asks when he answers, he sounds like he's outside must be walking to class.

"Yeah fine, I mean I assume it is I'm actually off today but I'm with Clare and she needs a job." I tell him.

I'm tempted to tell him why, to tell him that Jay beat her and she just wants to get away from him but she'll be angry at me and I'm pretty sure Peter would leave University and make the 12 hour drive back here to see for himself. While I'm sure he'd help me go kick the shit out of Jay I'm also sure Clare would go hysterical again.

"I'll call Stacey and have her put Clare on payroll; she can have any hours and shifts she wants. Let me talk to her." Peter requests and I hand the phone to Clare.

"Hi Peter…thanks…I'm fine just helping Fitz study…we both woke up early…no I just need a summer job for extra spending money…sounds great…bye Peter." She says and hands the phone back to me.

"Hey," I say into the phone.

"Hey I gotta get to class but I'll call Stacey when I get out. She can start tomorrow if she wants." Peter tells me.

"Thanks Peter, later." I say and hang up. "You want to shower or anything?" I ask her, setting the phone down and she shakes her head. "You want to watch some TV?" I question and she nods.

I lay back and she lies next to me, I put my arms around her and turn on the TV. There isn't too much on but I finally find a movie.

"I should call Adam and tell him I won't be over today." She tells me so I hand her phone to her.

She turns it on and it starts making a bunch of alert noises. It's only ten but in the last four hours, and I'm assuming the bastard had to go to work, he's called 12 times and texted 32 times. She ignores them all but texts Adam instead of calling him, she tells him she's sick and won't be over. He texts back asking if she's okay and she tells him she thinks it's the flu and then turns her phone off again.

"I have to use the washroom," she says putting her phone down.

She starts to get off the bed and then gasps and whimpers in pain. I jump up to help her stand; she uses me for support until she takes a deep breath and can stand on her own.

"Are you okay?" I ask her keeping a gentle hold of her waist.

"Yeah it's just, everything hurts and standing or moving at all is…I'm fine." She says changing her sentence near the end.

"I can run to the store and get you some ibuprofen and stuff," I offer.

"No don't leave me please. I know he doesn't know that I'm here but I don't want to be alone." She pleads.

"Okay I won't leave you all day I promise." I assure her.

She smiles at me relaxing a little and walks to the washroom. She is moving slow and stiff, the bruise on her hip and ribs must be bad or really painful. I guess it's a good thing my apartment is so small because she just has to walk a couple of feet to the washroom. As soon as she has the washroom door closes I get my phone and call Owen.

"Hey what's up?" He asks.

"Are you at Adam's house?" I question.

"Yeah," he replies.

"Leave the room so no one can hear you," I tell him and then I hear him walking up stairs.

"Okay I'm upstairs what's up?" Owen asks.

"Clare's here an…" I begin when he cuts me off.

"I thought she told Adam she was sick?" Owen asks.

"Yeah she did shut up and listen will you? I need you to go to the drug store, get me some ibuprofen and some of that muscle cream you can rub into bruises. You know the kind you use for football and hockey." I tell him.

"Bruises? What the fuck i…what did he do to her?" Owen asks.

"You can see for yourself if you go to the drug store." I reply.

"I'll grab Drew and Bianca we'll be over soon." Owen tells me and hangs up.

Clare comes out of the washroom and I put the phone down. I know she's going to be mad at me for telling them or whatever but they need to know. I kept myself from telling Peter but I'm not keeping this to myself.

"You want to watch another movie?" I ask her.

She nods and gets into bed again; I get in with her and find something for us to watch. Less than an hour later there's a knock on my door, they sure were fast. Clare tenses up and gets scared grabbing onto me.

"It's okay, it's not Jay." I soothe her.

She bites her lip and nods pulling her knees to her chest as I get out of bed.

"Fitz open up!" Owen calls as he bangs on the door.

I look back at her to see she's glowering at me a little knowing I told them. I put on my jeans before answering the door.

"Where's she at?" Drew asks.

"What did he do?" Bianca questions as Owen shoves a plastic bag at me.

I open the door and step aside so they can come in and they all freeze as soon as they see her!

**Update Soon**


	16. I Never Planned on You

**Ch. 16 I Never Planned on You**

**(FITZ)**

"He hit you?!" Owen exclaims.

"That fucking bastard!" Bianca snaps.

"Let's go kill him!" Drew says, pounding his fist into his hand.

They all look livid, their faces are hard and determined, they turn to go back out the door and Clare leaps out of the bed. She's still only wearing her panties and her pajama tank top but she doesn't care she's just set on stopping them. She grabs Drew and Bianca by the arms and they all turn around again and look at her. Now that she's out of the bed almost all of her bruises are visible and this doesn't help their anger or mine! Seeing her beaten body again just enrages me.

"Holy shit Clare!" Drew roars.

"That fucking asshole beat the shit out of you!" Owen growls through clenched teeth.

"When we get through with him he'll be eating strained carrots through a tube!" Bianca comments.

"No you guys can't do anything," Clare says with a distressed tone.

"What do you mean we can't do anything? Look at yourself Clare!" Owe responds.

"They're just bruises I'll heal." She argues.

"Yeah really bad bruises, your wrist is nearly black, you have handprints on your arms and I'm betting there are a few more bruises we're not seeing." Bianca retorts.

"Just one on her ribs, he backhanded her so hard she was knocked into the counter." I answer for her.

"If you guys go find him and beat him up he becomes the victim. He could have you all arrested and then he'll take his anger out on me!" Clare comments.

"Tell me you at least broke up with him," Drew sort of pleads.

"I can't he said he'd kill me if I ever broke up with him. I can't break up with him, you guys can't beat him up and we can't go to the cops!" Clare states in a determined and steely voice.

"So he beats you and we can't do anything?!" Owen inquires in an irate tone.

"The bruises will heal and I got a job at the Dot, I'll avoid him as much as I can." Clare says but she knows it's a pretty pitiful solution.

"What am I supposed to tell Adam?" Drew asks.

"Don't tell him anything Drew you can't, not Adam or Eli or anyone else! All of you promise me right now that you want talk about any of this with anyone outside this room." Clare insists but when they all remain silent for a minute she makes a threat. "Promise me now or I'm going back to Jay's right now!" She asserts, her tone getting harder and more determined.

"Fine I promise but you stay here with Fitz for the next couple of days and when you're better and you come back to Adam's you and I need to talk about being in an abusive relationship because I have been. More than one." Bianca tells her.

"So I'm supposed to go back to my brother, look him in the face and pretend like I didn't just see his best friend with lots of bad bruises?" Drew questions.

"You're supposed to pretend like you didn't see me at all, Adam thinks I have the flu and I'm sure he told everyone else. Drew please, this doesn't leave this room, promise me." She insists again.

"Fine, I promise but I don't like this. What happens if next time it's worse?" Drew asks.

"I'll try to make sure there isn't a next time," Clare replies and then looks at Owen. "Promise me Owen, you won't say anything about this to anyone outside this room."

"I promise, under protest and next time he hits you we all better hear about it right away! He hits you again you better get the hell out of there as soon as you can and call all of us." He stipulates.

"I promise," Clare responds.

"I guess we better get back, take care of her Fitz and call us if you need anything else." Drew says.

"I'll take good care of her," I assure them.

"Just stay here with Fitz," Owen tells her.

"We'll check in later," Bianca says.

The three of them leave with sullen expressions, they look unhappy and frustrated and I know how they feel. I lock my door again and pull Clare to the bed so she'll sit down then I get a glass of water for her and open the bottle of ibuprofen giving her two. Once she swallows them I take out the box with the anti-inflammatory cream.

"What's that?" Clare questions when I pull the tube from the box.

"It'll help the bruises; if you lay down I'll rub it in for you." I offer.

She lies down on her back with her head on the pillow. First I rub the cream into the bruise on her hip being very gentle so I don't hurt her more. Then I rub it into the one on her ribs, then her wrist and the ones on her arms and finally the one on her face, careful not to get it in her eye.

"It doesn't smell very good," she complains crinkling her nose and it's so cute.

"I know but it'll help," I tell her screwing the cap back on.

I go into the washroom to wash my hands and then return to the bed covering her with the blanket since she still hasn't put on her pajama bottoms. The movie I put in is still going so I sit on the bed, leaning against the pillows; she sits up and leans on me. I wrap my arm around her and kiss the top of her head.

"I'm sorry I ruined your day off," she says when the movie ends.

"You didn't ruin anything Clare, what would I be doing on my day off anyway? Studying at our spot, or at your house maybe? So we'll study here, you didn't ruin my day off at all because I get to spend it with you." I assure her.

"You must think I'm think I'm the biggest idiot for falling for a guy like Jay," she comments softly.

When she says falling for a stab of hurt goes through me and my chest get tight.

"I think you had a terrible that night, that you were in a bad place and here comes this guy that you know. He was older but someone you trusted when you were younger and he probably made you feel good on a night when you vulnerable. I think you're not the first girl, the first person that got into a bad relationship when you were in a bad place." I tell her and I mean every word.

"I knew it was bad though, with our age difference and I knew Jay was…" she pauses biting her lip and looking like thoughtful or whatever. "Darcy told me stories about the things he did, how he got in trouble, Spinner told me worse but they never said anything about him being abusive. He made me feel beautiful and special and after being dumped by Jake it felt nice. When I'm with him, when he kisses me and touches me, not hitting me but touching me gently I feel good, I feel a way that Jake never made me feel or even Eli. When we're like that everything about us feels right." She tells me.

When she says this I feel my heart sink but I don't let on.

"Yeah he was your knight in shining armor on prom night and you probably still feel that way when he's being sweet and kissing you." I reply trying to keep all the bitterness out of my voice.

"Jay's not a knight, he's a dragon disguised as prince. You're my knight Fitz, not in shining armor in shining hoodie." She tells me and my heart soars.

"If I'm your knight then let me slay the dragon," I try again.

She turns to look at me cupping my face with her hand. "No you can't do that. If something happened to you, if Jay hurt you or worse I could never forgive myself. I couldn't stand to lose you, I need you." She says locking her eyes with mine.

I want to like kiss her, the temptation is nearly overwhelming but I squash it. "We should probably do some studying." I comment gently pushing her off of me so I can get up and get a book.

I grab the book on the top of the pile which happens to be science, I hand it to her and she whimpers a little as she sits up. I prop some pillows against the wall for her and she puts her knees up leaning the book against her legs. I sit at the opposite end of the bed so I can't see the book.

"Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?" I ask her before we start.

"No I'm fine," she replies with a soft smile.

She looks at the book and begins reading and asking me questions. We study for over an hour before stopping for a break. She puts the book down, I move to sit next to her and she leans on me, her head on my chest and she takes my hand interlacing our fingers.

"Fitz when I said I felt good when Jay was kissing me, touching me I feel better when I'm with you." She admits in such a soft voice I hardly hear her.

My heart soars again for a moment I'm beyond ecstatic and then my heart sinks realizing that she's going to go back to him.

"You know Peter did appoint me your body guard, I think as your body guard I should be able to kick Jay's ass." I remind her.

"Fitz," she huffs with a heavy annoyed breath. "I don't think Peter meant that you should do so at the expense of your own safety or possibly life." She says.

"I'm pretty sure he did, I can call him and find out." I threaten starting to get up but she pulls me back down.

"No don't tell Peter, whether Peter meant it that way or not I'm telling you no. Please Fitz I don't want you to get hurt at all but especially trying to protect me." She says her eyes getting glassy with tears.

"Why don't you let me make that decision," I argue.

"Because I need you, if Jay hurt you or worse it would kill me. If he knows something is going on he'll kill you and I need you." She implores.

"There's nothing for him to know other than I'm your friend and he hurt you so I'm going to hurt him." I contend.

"Just be with me please, I feel better when I'm with you. If you get hospitalized or something who will protect me then?" She asks.

"Owen, Drew, Bianca they'll all protect you and I'll be fine." I assure her.

"Fitz no, you can't you…" she stops searching for what she wants to say and then she apparently gives up as she puts her hand to the back of my neck and crushes her lips to mine.

**(CLARE)**

Fitz seemed determined to get himself killed over me, I didn't want him hurt at all and especially because he felt some misguided sense of honor to go try and fight Jay. Normally I could express what I wanted quite eloquently in words but none of my words seemed to be getting through to him so I hoped he would know how I felt in a kiss. My lips touched his and I felt him relax slightly, he exhaled, his breath going into my mouth and I parted my lips. His tongue probed in between my lips cautiously as though he worried I would push him away. When my fingers began combing through his hair he melted into the kiss completely, his hand went down my arm around to the small of my back. Gently he guided me to lie on my back and my head was now at the foot of the bed.

He lay propped on his side, being so very careful not to touch a single centimeter of bruised flesh on my body. He's taken control of the kiss now but it's nothing like Jay kissing me. Fitz kisses me with such love, tenderness, passion and bliss. There's a wanting, a desire behind his kiss but it's different than Jay. The way Jay wants and desires me is different, I realize that now but I can't lie. Kissing Jay still makes me feel good, just in a different way. Jay's kiss, his touch, gentle touch not when he's violent, it's like they have this indescribable power over me. This power that makes me feel good in a way that I lose all common sense, inhibitions, when he says something to me and it sounds like a great idea even though I know it's a terrible idea. Like dating him for example, had he not been continually kissing me while telling me to be his girlfriend I would have said no. Why he has this power I'm not sure but he does.

With Fitz on the other hand there's a trust, a love in every touch, every kiss. I know he won't be mean; he won't do more than I want and most importantly that everything he does is out of real care and love for me. Oh I know Jay loves me, I even love him back but not the way I thought I did, or maybe hoped I did. I have to admit the things Fitz was saying earlier made a lot of sense; Jay offered me something that night, that weekend that I needed. I was stressed and hurt and Jay put on an emotional bandaid, fixing what Jake broke, what watching Adam got shot did. And I trusted Jay; I had no reason not to. He'd always been kind to me when I was younger and he and Spinner would watch me while my family was dealing with Darcy.

"I wish you'd found me walking that night," I tell Fitz with tears in my eyes, breaking from the kiss to do so.

He brushes a strand of hair from my face and gently kisses my nose. "So do I," he replies in a soft but husky voice.

Wiping the tears from my eyes he kisses my neck and moves so that he's straddled over me but he's still very careful not to hit any bruises. He holds my pajama top and pulls it over my head and I don't stop him, I don't want to stop him, I want to feel him. He drops it to the floor and his lips touch the flesh between my breasts, my breathing hitches in my throat and then exhales slowly as he leaves a trail of open mouth kisses over each breast. When every inch of both of my breasts has been kissed he encases one nipple between his lips. The warmth of his lips sends a wave of gooseflesh over me and a soft moan comes from my lips. After swirling his tongue softly around the nipple, commanding it to be hard he does the same to the other.

Then he sits up, smiling at me softly and locking his eyes to mine. He moves down my legs a little hooking his fingers in my panties and pulling them down. My whole body is anticipating his touch, getting warm and tingling, the fire in my belly getting stoked with every inch that my panties are pulled down. Eventually he has to get off my legs to pull my panties off of me entirely and suddenly I'm naked before him. Naked and battered but the funny thing is I'm not the least bit self conscious. Despite all the bruises I feel amazingly beautiful right now and it has everything to do with how Fitz is looking at me, like I'm some celestial goddess sent to earth just for him. He hasn't said a word but I see it all in his eyes.

I don't know why but for some reason I expect him to be a guy, to be like Jay and start fingering me or just jump right on me to start having sex. He doesn't of course because he's nothing like Jay. He spreads my legs gently and when I suck in a breath because the movement aggravated the bruise on my hip a little he stops and looks at me. When I smile at him he continues but he only opens the other leg more. Then he crouches down, putting the leg with the bruise over his shoulder and resting it there softly. Then his head goes down between my legs and the next thing I know his tongue is licking my vaginal lips. Warm, soft and wet, he licks gently sending a wave of pleasured shock through my body and it quivers. In a few seconds his tongue has worked it's way between them and softly slips into me.

"Oh god, ahmmm!" I exclaim inadvertently.

My back arches, one hand grips into the sheets beneath me but the other grasps the spiky hairs on his head. His tongue feels so very good and he's being so very gentle and sweet. His hands slide under my ass lifting me up a little, giving him better access and his tongue going in a little farther, his tongue can't go in as far as a cock but it doesn't matter it feels so amazing. My body trembles, nerve endings are being awoken and stimulated. So many wondrous sensations are emanating from inside me, a tingling, a fire, an almost tickling sensation. I bite my lip and moan loudly as his tongue suddenly flicks around then curls up. I never knew a tongue could be so nimble, so wonderfully dexterous but it feels like his tongue is everywhere.

He moves slow for a while, then fast and then slow again. My body is lost, completely at his mercy and in his hands in the best possible way imaginable. Soon I'm trembling almost uncontrollably and my hips begin bucking, I feel like I might die if I don't cum soon and he seems to sense this. Moving one of his hands his thumb comes to my clit and begins rubbing in gentle circles. The combined sensations are almost too much for me to take, my head goes back into the mattress, my eyes close, my thighs tighten around his head.

"Nnnggngnn Maaaaaaaaaaark!" I scream out in rapturous sensuousness as I orgasm.

He slows his tongue down, but keeps going until I've entirely ridden out the orgasm before he withdraws from me. Placing my whole body back to the mattress and lying down next to me while I continue panting for air, I smile at him unable to produce words at the moment.

"You taste better than anything ever. I'll be right back and I'll get you some water." He tells me kissing my forehead.

He gets off the bed and hands me my pajama top and panties again before disappearing into the washroom. He's in the washroom for many minutes and I realize he must be masturbating. I feel a little bad but also grateful that he didn't even think of asking me to take care of him or as Jay would have done started fucking me the minute I started getting close to climax. When I feel I can move again I get dressed again and move so I'm laying the right way on the bed again. Fitz comes out of the washroom and smiles at me, I watch him walk to the kitchen and get me a glass of water.

"Why don't I make us some lunch before we get back to studying," Fitz says to me.

"Do you want me to help?" I offer.

"No I want you to stay right here in bed, get comfy and find something good for us to watch on TV." He replies tucking me back under the blanket and handing me the remote.

Fitz goes back into the kitchen and starts making lunch while I flip channels until I come across the Dukes of Hazzard and figure we can both watch that.

"You want to watch the Dukes of Hazzard?" He questions.

"Yeah Bo's hot," I tease and he gives me another look.

"I watch it with Adam sometimes, it's one of the few things both of us like that Eli never did. Even Drew would watch it with us." I tell him.

Fitz just smiles and goes back to making lunch, he comes back to the bed a few minutes later handing me a plate with a sandwich, turkey by the looks of it, and a soda. He has one for himself too of course and he gets comfortable next to me. We eat in silence finishing the episode before we go back to studying. That's pretty much our whole day, studying in his bed, taking a break every hour or so. Around five he orders pizza for dinner and we stop the studying for the day. Aside from going to the washroom I never leave his bed, partly because his tiny apartment consists of the kitchen, what would be a living room or dining room area if he had furniture, his TV, his bed, a closet and the washroom. It's a studio so there are no walls separating anything but the closet and washroom. The other reason I stay in bed all day is I don't feel a whole lot like moving but it doesn't matter Fitz doesn't let me lift a finger.

"Do you want to come to work with me tomorrow?" Fitz asks after we've eaten dinner.

"I don't want to be here alone, or my house but I don't know how much I'll be able to work." I reply.

"No one cares, Peter won't and I don't but if you don't want to come in with me I can drop you at Adam's. At least I know you'll be safe there or have Owen come over here to stay with you until I get home." Fitz offers.

"Adam thinks I have the flu, plus he gets worried when I wander over there at o'dark thirty in the morning. I also doubt very much that Owen wants to wake up at four to come be here with me because I'm afraid Jay might find me here even though he has no idea where you live." I reply.

"Once again Owen wouldn't care," Fitz counters.

"Maybe not but I'd rather be with you. I'll go into the Dot with you but we'll have to stop by my house before hand so I can change into some actual clothes and cover my face with makeup. Do you think we could stop at the drug store for a wrist brace? I don't know how else to cover my wrist." I request.

"Yeah of course," Fitz smiles and then his phone rings. He goes to retrieve it and presses the button answering with a hey before sitting back on the bed. Given the deep make voice on the other end of the phone I'm guessing it's Owen. "Yeah we've been here all day…actually if you mind swinging by the drug store again she would like a wrist brace." Fitz says into the phone. A minute later he says cool and hangs up. "Owen is bringing a wrist brace over." He tells me and I smile.

We get comfortable on the bed again while we wait for Owen. A short time later there's a knock on the door and Fitz gets up to answer. When he unlocks the door Owen comes in with a bag and sits on the bed.

"How you feelin'?" Owen asks as he hands me the wrist brace from the bag.

"Better, Fitz took wonderful care of me all day long." I reply.

"Yeah I'll bet, aside from the fact that you're all banged up he's been dreaming about this day for the last year." Owen chides, Fitz's cheeks go red and I giggle a little. "So are you going to hang out here tomorrow while Fitz is at work?" Owen inquires.

"Actually she's coming with me, she works at the Dot now remember?" I remind him.

"And she just happened to get opening shifts with you?" Owen asks.

"Peter lets me have whatever hours I want and I want to work when Fitz does." I inform him.

"So home come you rank so high you get to choose your own hours?" Owen questions.

"Because Peter is like her big brother and he owns the café and the club." Fitz replies for me.

"Oh good so when we tell him about Jay he's one more person to help us kill Jay," is Owen's response.

"You aren't going to tell Peter anything about me and Jay. Peter knows Jay and no one not Peter, not you two, not Drew and Bianca are going to kill Jay. Thanks for the brace Owen," I say as a polite way of asking him to go because I don't want the two of them plotting.

"Yeah no problem Clare, I'll stop by the café in the morning for breakfast to see you guys." Owen says.

"Later," Fitz waves.

"Bye Owen," I say as Owen leaves.

Fitz locks the door and joins me on the bed again, he changes the channel on the TV takes his jeans off and gets under the covers wrapping his arms around me. I lie against his chest feeling his breaths as they gently make his chest rise and fall. His skin is warm, his arms encircling me and I feel protected, safe and loved. I never want this feeling to end and I know that I love him, really love him. I don't know when it happened, when exactly in the last couple of weeks I fell for Mark Fitzgerald but I did. I want to tell him but I don't.

I don't because if he knows then it'll make him fight that much harder to keep me away from Jay. Make him that much more determined to make me his and to never see Jay again but he could get hurt or worse. If Jay knew, if Jay ever found out how I felt let alone what we did this afternoon or that we've kissed, not just once but several times, he would surely kill Fitz if not literally hurt him badly and I would lose him for sure. I couldn't stand to lose him, I need him and I love him and I'm keeping my mouth shut about it to keep him safe. Although I barely did anything today I'm rather tired and I fall asleep on Fitz before nine.

**(FITZ)**

Clare falls asleep on my chest, I love to like watch her sleep, I love watching her body move minutely with each breath. She looks like such a goddess, she is a goddess, my goddess and I want so badly to tell her. But I'm afraid, afraid to admit it like if she actually hears it from lips in my voice she'll get scared or something. Like she'll avoid me or whatever but it's this unspoken secret between us, I'm like so incredibly in love with her, I worship her and to her I'm…actually I don't know what I am to her. More than a friend, like a safe place or something, a personal body guard and her knight; her knight in shining hoodie that will always come rescue her from the dragon, always come when she calls because I am so in love with her. Yeah I know it makes me pathetic but I don't care I'm in love; hopelessly pathetically in love. I stroke her hair softly, and watch her sleep for a while, then she starts to move and make little noises, I realize she's dreaming.

"I love you Mark," she whispers in her sleep against my skin.

"I love you too Clare," I whisper back.

I know she's dreaming and I'm pretty sure she doesn't mean it, that it's simply something from her dream and I know she didn't hear me say it back because she's asleep. Still I swear I feel her smile against my skin. I keep watching her, I'm watching her more than the TV even though she isn't doing anything, eventually I fall asleep. My alarm wakes us up the next morning, she gasps, jolting awake at the sound and then she groans seeing it's still dark outside.

"You sure you don't want to stay here and sleep?" I chuckle.

"No I want to be with you," she tells me and what she whispered last night comes back to me and I have to smile. She moves putting her legs over the bed and standing up stiffly. "Can you help you me find my pajama pants?" She requests.

I turn on the light making her squint and find her pajama bottoms on my floor, handing them to her. I grab my work clothes and go into the washroom to get ready. When I come out she's dressed or in her pajamas anyway and her shoes are on. I go to the closet pulling out one of my hoodies and handing it to her.

"It's cold outside you'll need that," I tell her.

She smiles and puts it on, I gather my wallet and phone and we leave my apartment, going down to my car after I've locked up. She's very silent on the drive to her house, she's looking out the window and she seems sad or nervous maybe. I get to her house and pull into the driveway since her mom is away and there's only one car in the drive. We get out of the car and start walking to her door when I hear another car door slam shut, we both stop and turn to see Jay walking toward us and he looks pissed, no make that enraged to hell!

"Where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick about you! Have you been with him all night?" Jay demands, he's not yelling, sort of growling.

We're both ready to hit each other but Clare gets between us, going up to Jay, her hands on his chest.

"No he just picked me up from Jenna's so I could come home before we go to work. I got a job at the Dot Jay; I've been at Jenna's the whole time." She tells him.

I know why she's telling him she was with Jenna and not me but it still hurts a little. I want to tell him I love her that like I treat her like a goddess or whatever the way she should be treated. I want to hit him or something but I just stand there because I'm afraid of hurting her.

"He shouldn't be picking you up, I should, I'm your boyfriend! I don't like you alone with other guys!" Jay snarls grabbing her by my hoodie she's wearing and then he looks at it, it's pretty dark but there is some light from the street lamps. "Is that his sweater, you are not wearing another guys sweater, you're my girl, you belong to me! Let's go you're coming home with me!" Jay demands ripping my hoodie off of her over her head grabbing her arm and starting to pull her to his car.

Now I can move, not just move fight! I stomp over grabbing him by the by the back of the shirt and pulling him away from her. He lets go of Clare's arm and I toss him to the ground.

"YOU DON'T OWN HER ASSHOLE! SHE CAN BE WITH WHOEVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS!" I scream at him.

Jay doesn't respond but he leaps up and punches me in the gut! I see it coming and prepare by tightening my ab muscles but it still hurts and I double over a little. I use my new position to wrestle him to the ground, I start out on top getting in a few punches on his face and abdomen before he pops me with a left hook to the eye and I fall back!

"STOP!" Clare screams with terror in her voice and I can hear that she's crying. "Stop it please!" She begs. She comes over and starts pulling at Jay's hoodie trying to get him off me. "Jay stop it please, leave him alone! I'll go with you just leave him alone!" She pleads.

Jay stops, giving me an evilly victorious smile and getting off me. He stands and kicks me hard in the stomach, forcing a grunt from my lips and me to curl up as Clare gasps. Jay takes Clare by the arm and pulls her to him roughly; he grabs her chin and kisses her. The kiss is hard and forced, Clare isn't enjoying it but it's not meant to be a nice kiss, it's meant to be a show, it's for me so that I know she belongs to him or whatever. He smirks at me, puts his arm around her and they start walking to his car.

"Clare," I call after her.

She looks back at me; her face stained with tears and mouths the words "I'm sorry" to me. Then they get in his car and speed away, I watch the car until it's out of sight. Coughing a little I get up off the ground, my chest is tight and I'm so worried about her. He's going to hurt her, he's going to hurt her badly and I can't let that happen. I get in my car to follow them, I'll find his apartment if I have to knock on every door in the building but as soon as I start my car my phone beeps alerting me to a text message.

**Clare: I'm sorry I never should have gotten you involved. Don't follow us I don't want you to get hurt again. Go to work I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm sorry.**

Every instinct in me says to follow her or something but her pleading stops me. I drive the short distance to work feeling sick and with a heavy heart. I unlock the door to the café and lock it again and start opening slowly. I got a little roughed up but I've had a lot worse and I don't mind the bruises, they aren't so bad. It's worry that has me moving so slow, I'm terrified for her and I don't know what to do. When the morning rush gets there I'm so busy I'm at least distracted from my anxiety over Clare for a while but as soon as it dies down I start worrying again, thinking I should have seen or heard from her by now. I try to like busy myself and whatever to keep from thinking about Clare.

"Hey where's Clare?" Owen's voice says coming through the door, I turn around to look at him and his expression changes. "Whoa what happened to your eye dude?"

"She went with him," is my answer.

"Umm huh?" Owen questions.

"I took her home this morning so she could change into actual clothes and cover her bruises before she came into work and he was there. Like parked across the street just waiting for her or something, stalking her or whatever and he was beyond pissed off at her. She lied to him said she's been at Jenna's this whole time but he didn't care. He tried to take her and I like attacked him, we got into it but Clare was crying she wanted us to stop. She begged us to stop and told Jay she'd go with him. He kicked me one more time and kissed her hard to prove a point to me or something and then they went off in his car. I wanted to follow them but she sent me this." I explain to Owen pulling my phone from my pocket to show him the text message.

"Wow so how badly did he get you besides the eye?" Owen asks giving my phone back to me.

"I gave him worse," I reply.

"So is Clare okay?" Owen questions.

"I don't know I haven't heard from her and I'm getting worried." I admit to Owen.

"You want me to go down to his apartment and check on her? I wouldn't mind giving the douchebag a few punches of my own." Owen says clenching his fists and throwing a couple punches at the air.

"She'll just get mad at you for going down, so will Jay and…" I stop when I hear the back door open.

Owen hears it too and we both run back to the employee lounge, the door is closed but I open it to find Clare in there changing into a Dot t-shirt. She puts it on and turns around to face us.

"Thank god, I've been going out of my mind!" I exclaim running over to hug her, she hugs me back. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you again?" I ask her quickly gently taking her chin to look her over but she pulls away from me.

"I'm fine, he didn't hurt me." She replies softly but she won't meet my eyes and she moves carefully, stiffly.

"I'm surprised the fucker let you come to work," Owen comments, him she looks in the eye.

"He had to go to work too but when I told him I'd have to call Peter to tell him why I wasn't coming in Jay was very willing to let me come in. Peter knows him and he wasn't about to explain to Peter that we're dating." She tells us.

"HEY FITZ WHERE YOU AT?" Ray calls from the front.

"Okay I'm going to go tell that guy you two are on break and get some breakfast from him. You two should get the keys to upstairs and got talk." Owen insists leaving the break room.

I take her hand and she comes with me, I grab the keys and we go up to the club. I unlock the door, pull her inside and turn on the lights.

"How badly are you hurt?" She asks as soon as the door closes behind her.

"I'm fine, I've had a lot worse. What did he do to you?" I question.

"Nothing, he was angry but I calmed him down. He didn't hurt me again and he apologized a lot, he said it would never happen again. I shouldn't have involved you Fitz, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got you involved, I'm sorry you got hurt. You can't be involved anymore, we work together, I help you study that's it!" She stipulates.

"You have to be kidding me Clare?! I'm already involved, I can't not be involved! If he didn't hurt you then why are you moving so stiffly?" I inquire.

"Because we had sex Fitz! It was quick and rough and wasn't very pleasant but we had sex! It made him feel better, feel like he didn't want to kill you anymore and yes you can stop being involved because I can't watch you get hurt again! I won't! I'm not letting you get hurt again, so either stop being involved or I can't see you at all anymore, not at work, not to help you study!" She tells me.

Her words hurt so much worse than getting kicked in the gut by Jay.

"Why Clare? Did he threaten me? Because I can hand myself!" I argue.

"No he didn't threaten you but you have to stop being involved or he'll hurt you again!" She responds.

"If he didn't threaten me then why Clare?" I demand.

"Because you big idiot I love you!" She snaps, then takes a deep breath to calm herself before talking again. "You moron I'm in love with you that's why."

**I will update as soon as I can but with me moving next week I don't know how much time I'll have to write.**


	17. Ticket to Ride

**I'm baaaack! Move went well updates will continue as normal you can find update schedule on my profile page.**

**Ch. 17 Ticket to Ride**

**(CLARE)**

After confessing my feelings Fitz smiles with the biggest most pleased grin I've ever seen cross his face, anyone's face.

"I'm in love with you too," he breathes lightly.

"I know," I sigh wishing I could return his smile and share in his joy but my heart breaks, shatters and I can't smile.

"We're in love this is like wonderful so why don't you look happy?" Fitz questions.

"No it's terrible," I reply turning away from him as looking in his eyes is too painful.

He comes up behind me encircling me in his arms and though I know I should run from the embrace I don't, instead I relish it and want to stay in it forever.

"How can being in love be terrible?" Fitz asks in a soft voice.

I turn in the embrace to face him, placing my hands against his chest but I can't meet his eyes and I already feel tears in mine for the words about to leave my lips.

"Because we can never be together Mark, I'm trapped by Jay." I remind him, tears slipping from my eyes.

He tilts my chin up and kisses the tears away, his soft lips gently absorbing my salty tears. "I'll fight for you; I'll fight him to keep you safe so we can be together." Fitz declares in a determined voice.

"No you've already been hurt by him, I can't have you hurt again to fight for me this isn't the dark ages Mark and if you get yourself killed I'll be without you anyway. Watching him fight you was worse than any physical pain." I plead with him.

"Then we'll go to the cops, have him arrested for statutory rape and abuse or whatever." Fitz argues.

"He'll post bail and the first thing he'll do is go after you and then me. My mother will get involved and I'll be sent to a convent or missionary work somewhere far away, as far away as she can get me because she doesn't deal with things. Either way I'll be without you, without being able to even see you and that would kill me more than anything else. I want to be with you Mark, to truly be with you more than anything but we can't we'll be torn apart if we even try by Jay and possibly my mother. If all I can have is to be with you at work and when I help you study for exams I can't lose that. My time with you no matter the circumstances is the best part of my day, I revel in it. I know it isn't fair but I'm more afraid of being torn away from you then staying with Jay." I tell him, more like confess to him and beseech him.

He holds me closely but gently so he doesn't hurt me at all, he exhales deeply but his chest remains tight and I worry that he's going to be stubborn and is set on fighting Jay so that he can have me wholly for himself.

"But you don't love him, I don't even have to fight him alone, Owen will help and so will Drew and Bianca. Pretty sure the four of us can hurt him so badly he'll never come near you again." Fitz contends.

I pull out of the embrace turning away from him again but lean on the bar as standing is becoming somewhat difficult. "Then he becomes the victim Mark, he'll have you all arrested and if you expose him and our relationship my mother will send me away and I will lose you either way. I do love him Mark but not the way I love you. It doesn't matter though I'm trapped Mark and I've trapped us both, I am very sorry for that and it's terribly selfish of me to ask you to be my rock and my safe place; to hope that you won't look at any other girl because I selfishly love you and need you and don't want to lose you in any capacity, so that I won't lose my only sanctuary and solace. If you run, if you never want to see me again I'll understand." I say shutting my eyes tight to hold back the tears.

Fitz comes over picking me up under the arms and setting me on the bar, he moves his hands gently down my sides until their resting on my waist. He smiles at me sweetly, lovingly then very tenderly places his lips on mine.

"I'm not exactly pleased that you're choosing him over me but I'm not going to abandon you ever. I'm in love with you Clare, deeply in love with you and I will never leave you or do anything to hurt you. How could I ever not see you again not be there when you need me when I know you're in love with me too? I don't want to lose you either like ever and I will always be your safe place. We'll be together at work, even if we can't touch or be together the way we want. We'll study together and I know you'll come to me if you need to. Just promise me you won't stay with him forever, I know you're scared right now but there has to be a way out of your relationship with Jay." Fitz pleads with me and when I tense up he brushes a curl behind my ear and kisses my cheek softly. "A way out that won't frighten you, we'll find it together. You're not alone Clare ever and you know Owen, Bianca and Drew will help too. So would Adam, Eli and the others if you'd let them." Fitz reminds me.

"I'm not choosing Jay over you, I'm choosing the path of least resistance, the path that is least likely to lead to you or anyone else getting hurt or being killed by Jay." I point out.

"Except for you, he's going to hurt you again. You have to realize he's going to hurt you again, no matter how many times he apologizes and swears to you that it will never happen again, it will." Fitz tells me.

"I know Mark and I'll do my best to make sure it doesn't happen and do what I can to make sure I don't make him angry." I tell him and he scoffs.

"Are you like serious? You're smart you must hear how that sounds." Fitz says.

"I know and I know he'll hurt me again but I'm trapped, in a prison of my own making. I know I'm going to run to you every time he hurts me and I know I'm being totally and utterly unfair and selfish by asking you to sit by and watch me be in another relationship but to be there when I need y…" I don't finish my sentence because Fitz connects his lips to mine.

The kiss is so soft, so loving yet so very passionate and wanting. I melt into the kiss, into his embrace, into his touch and I want more but I pull away before the fire in me gets too hot.

"I've been in love with you all year and up until a few weeks ago I was forced to love you from a distance. Now I have you, well sort of, I have you in like this way, this way that's all mine and you think I would ever give that up. If you're being selfish then so am I and as much as this situation totally like sucks I will always be there when you need me." Fitz assures me.

I smile, put my hand at the back of his head and put our lips together again breaking from the kiss after a minute.

"I love you Mark and I don't deserve you," I tell him.

"I love you too Clare and you deserve the world." He replies with an enamored smile as he lifts me off the bar and sets me down again. "As much as I don't want to we should get downstairs or Ray's going to throw a fit." Fitz says.

I nod, Fitz puts his arm around me, he locks the club back up and we go downstairs. Ray gives us a look when we come out from the back but doesn't say anything I have a feeling that Owen may have threatened him into silence as Owen is still there and giving Ray a warning look. Fitz takes one of the stools at the counter and brings it around the counter setting it in front of the cash register, then helps me onto it.

"You just sit there and ring people up don't try and do anything else." Fitz instructs me and I smile.

"We're not allowed to sit while working," Ray says in a bitter tone.

"You're welcome to call Peter and tell him that the girl that's like a little sister to him is hurt but you don't want her to sit while she works." Fitz shoots back.

Ray looks considerate for a minute then goes back to work and Owen comes over.

"So you two a couple now or what?" He asks and I bite my lower lip.

"She's…it's complicated, I'll tell you about it later." Fitz tells him.

"Yeah well I'm going to the Torres place call me if you need something." Owen says waving to us as he leaves.

No one else says anything about the fact that I'm sitting on a stool, I take my lunch when Fitz does, we just order from the kitchen and go upstairs. After we eat I help him study a bit. Even though I'm battered and very sore after sex with Jay this morning the day is pleasant and goes by quickly and I know a great deal of that is because Fitz is with me. When we're off shift we go back upstairs so I can help him study again. We sit on the sofa, I stretch out putting my legs on his lap, the later the hour gets the more anxious and woeful I become knowing I'll soon have to return to Jay.

"You don't have to go back there, I can hide you." Fitz offers.

"No I don't want him to find out where you live and I don't want to make him mad. I'll be okay but I should get to his apartment before he gets home. Can you take me?" I ask.

"Of course, you'll call me if anything happens right?" He requests.

"I promise," I smile.

Taking my legs off his lap, he stands and helps me up, locking the club again before we get in his car. As we approach Jay's apartment building the atmosphere in the car gets more tense, neither of us wants me to leave the car and go into the building. A big part of me wants to tell him to just keep driving and I know he'd do it but it's fear that keeps my mouth shut. Fear of the retribution Jay will unleash, fear for Fitz's safety and my other friends, fear of my mother.

"Thanks for the ride, you work tomorrow don't you?" I ask him.

"Opening as always," Fitz replies.

"I'll be there to open with you. I know I'm going into him but it's you I'm in love with you Mark." I tell him.

"I know, I love you Clare just remember I'm in love with you while you're in there with him." Fitz stipulates before kissing me.

I start melt into the kiss and then pull away quickly. "We can't, not here if Jay sees us…I'll see you at work in the morning." I tell him grabbing my purse and getting out of the car before he can stop me or I can change my mind.

I run across the street and into the apartment building, my heart aches and I have to stop the tears before I reach Jay's apartment even though I know he shouldn't be home from work for another ten minutes. Unlocking the door I go in and splash water on my face, this hides the tears and also washes the makeup from my face. Sitting on the sofa and turning on the TV I wait for Jay to get home, given the hour I was up and all that happened over the last few days I'm emotionally drained and it makes me physically exhausted and I'm nearly asleep when Jay gets home. I hear the door unlocking and sit up trying to look alert; Jay comes through the door with a bouquet of roses.

"Hey Babe, I missed you today." He says coming over to kiss me and handing me the roses.

"I missed you too and the roses are beautiful thank you." I reply.

I didn't miss him at all, I hardly thought about him but I know saying it will make him happy and if he's happy he's not angry.

"They're an apology, I hate that I hurt you so bad but you made me angry." Jay says.

"I know," I respond and bite my lip.

"I think I have a vase around here somewhere, I'll put these in some water. I don't want to make you cook and I don't feel much like cooking either pizza okay for dinner?" He asks.

"Sure pizza sounds fine," I nod.

Jay goes to the kitchen and I hear him on the phone ordering pizza, then he goes to the bedroom to change and I'm nearly asleep again by the time he sits by me on the sofa.

"You look tired Babe, was work hard? Maybe you shouldn't be working." Jay says taking my arm and moving me so that I'm lying on him.

"No work was pretty easy I just rang people up and I need to work, my mom wants me too, besides I can start saving for college and have some spending money." I remind him.

Actually Mom has no idea that I have a job but I'm sure she'll think it's good. I really don't need to save for college my grandparents started college funds for me and Darcy the day we were born. Having spending money is always a good thing but of course the real reason for the job is to be away from Jay and be with Fitz but obviously I'm not going to tell Jay that.

"Well just make sure they don't work you too hard, I don't want you to be too tired for me when I get home." Jay remarks.

"Sorry, it's just been a very long day." I yawn laying my head in his lap.

"It's okay Babe, I know it's been a hard couple of days. You just rest until the pizza gets here." Jay says stroking my hair and I fall asleep

Next thing I know someone's knocking on the door loudly and Jay is pushing me off his lap. I stay laying on the sofa while he answers the door and pays for the pizza. He brings it over, setting it on the table with two sodas and two plates.

"Babe sit up foods here," Jay says pulling me up a little roughly.

I groan in pain and suck in a sharp breath, sitting up all the way as Jay hands me a plate with pizza on it. Jay eats three pieces of pizza while barely manage to nibble at one.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower and go to bed, I smell like coffee." I tell him getting up.

Jay doesn't say anything and I manage not to groan in pain as I stand up. I go to into the washroom, turn the shower on and strip down leaving my clothes in a pile on the floor because I know Jay won't care and I'm too tired to care right now. Stepping into the shower, the hot water is both soothing and painful. I turn around; closing my eyes and dipping my head into the water letting the hot water straighten my curls and wash away my thoughts. When my head is empty one thought replaces them, Fitz and even the thought of him brings a smile to my lips. Suddenly I feel hands on my waist, I straighten my head as my eyes shoot open even though I know it's Jay.

"Jay it's been a really long day and I'm very tired," I protest as he starts kissing my neck.

"I know Babe but you look so fucking sexy all naked and wet. I can't help myself you know what you do to me. I missed you all day and I found you with him this morning, wearing his clothes!" Jay sort of growls.

Before I can even try and protest again Jay bends down while continuing to kiss my skin he hooks his arms under my legs and picks me up shoving me against the wall. While I didn't have any bruises on my back I might now and the force of the impact has all my other bruises throbbing. The way he's spreading my legs already has my bruised hip aching. I brace myself for the impending impalement but still scream when he thrusts deep into me, muffling the end of my scream on his shoulder, the water from the shower mixes with my tears masking them. Not that it probably matters to Jay. I grip onto him tightly as he begins thrusting the pain becomes nearly unbearable and before I pass out from the pain I think about Fitz and go to a happy place in my mind where he's holding me in bed and kissing me softly and I'm wrapped in his arms and his love.

"This feels awesome but I don't think I can stand and hold you up for much longer." Jay comments but I hardly hear him.

It isn't until he pulls out of me and sets me down that I realize we're stopping. I almost collapse but he catches me, his arm around my waist hits some of my bruised ribs. He turns off the shower and pulls me out the shower turns me around, bends me over the sink and pins my hands to the tiny counter. I want to protest, to fight but no words can make it to my mouth right now and I hardly have the strength to stand, let alone fight. We're both dripping wet and I start to shiver in the cold air of the washroom. Jay spreads my legs and bends me over farther; I grip the counter tightly and cry out in pain as he thrusts into me again. I close my eyes tightly, my tears falling into the sink as I whimper and take shuddering painful breaths. Every time he thrusts into me I get thrust into the sink hard, hitting my bruised ribs and hip. Despite the fact that I'm leaning heavily on the counter I don't think I'm going to be able to stand much longer.

"Jay…can't…stand…" I choke out between labored breaths and sobs.

Jay makes a frustrated growl but pulls out of me and picks me up over his shoulder which hurts but everything hurts right now. He tosses me on the bed and before I can catch my breath he's inside of me again. He pins my wrists near my head, I close my eyes disappearing into the happy place in my head again where I'm with Fitz. Thankfully Jay finishes quickly, violently but quickly, he pulls out of me lays down next to me. Kisses my forehead, tells me he loves me and that was fantastic then rolls over and goes to sleep. This isn't all that surprising given that he was up most of the night waiting outside my house in his car for me. I know I should call Fitz or at least text him but I don't have the strength to get out of bed, or move at all right now. I just curl up, closing my eyes, a few tears fall but I go back to the happy place in my mind and soon fall asleep. Hearing Jay get up and start getting dressed is what wakes me up the next morning. I sit up with a painful gasp and blink my eyes at him.

"What time is it?" I question Jay.

"A little after seven, I have to head in to work." Jay replies.

"Can you drop me at the Dot?" I request rubbing my eyes.

I should have been there to open but I doubt Fitz cares other than he might be worried. I'm not feeling so great and I think I should feel better considering I slept over 12 hours but given all my bodies been through in the last couple of days maybe that's why.

"You sure you want to go into work? You look pretty beat Babe." Jay says.

With a deep breath and a great amount of will power I manage to get out of the bed and go to my suitcase to get clothes. "I'm sure, I'll wake up as soon as I'm there it is a coffee shop after all." I reply as I begin to get dressed.

Once I'm dressed I start to walk to the washroom but I'm moving slow, I must really be tired as I'm having trouble seeing straight. Jay, now fully dressed picks me up and carries me to the washroom.

"If you can barely walk how are you going to work for eight hours?" Jay chuckles.

"I'll just sit at the cash register again, it doesn't take much moving. I'll have to see if Bianca can go to the drug store for me for a morning after pill since I don't think you remembered a condom last night." I comment as he sets me down.

I start brushing my hair, give up and put my hair in a ponytail. I'm sweating a little but I don't think anything of it. When my hair is up I start covering the bruise on my face with makeup.

"Why would you get a morning after pill Babe?" Jay asks me wrapping his arms around me from behind and watching me in the mirror as I cover my bruise. "I've been fucking you without a condom for over a week." Jay informs me and I drop the makeup brush in the sink.

I'm frozen from shock, blinking at his face in the mirror but he's grinning at me. His lips touch my skin and I let out the breath I was holding but begin to tremble.

"Are you crazy? Why would you do that?" I inquire in a shocked whisper, hoping desperately this is some kind of cruel joke.

"I'm trying to get you pregnant of course," Jay shrugs nonchalantly as if telling me he's going to the store for bread.

"You…you what? Why would you want me to get pregnant?" I question, I'm beyond angry but also in shock and the words hardly come from my lips.

"Because you belong to me, now and forever and if we have a baby your bitch of a mother can't possibly object to us being together. She won't let you have an abortion and would probably support a wedding even. We'd have to get a bigger place of course but that shouldn't be too hard. When you're a glowing mother you won't need to work. My baby is growing in this belly and you will never leave me. I love you more than anything Babe and you're mine forever." Jay tells me in the mirror then kisses my cheek. "You know you feel kind of hot," he says when his lips leave my skin but I'm too much in shock to answer.

I feel sick; not exactly nauseas but ill at the idea, not just having a baby with Jay but the fact that he planned this. He plotted this possibly from the beginning of our relationship. He's grinning at me in the mirror like he's already a proud dad and I feel like I might faint.

**(FITZ)**

By the time it was time for my first break Clare still hadn't shown up. I wasn't really worried when she wasn't there to open with me. I didn't exactly think Jay would want to drop her off so early or that she'd want to be up so early. When Ray came in and there was still no Clare I was starting to get worried. Returning from my break I saw Owen but no Clare still.

"You heard from her yet?" Owen asked.

"No and I'm starting to get worried," I tell him.

It was Friday morning and since it was summer we only had two customers right now and Ray was on the other side of the café cleaning some of the tables.

"If you two are talking about Clare and I assume you are, she's getting dropped off by some guy." Ray says looking over at us.

Owen and I look out to see Jay pulling up in his car and after Clare kisses him it makes me want to barf watching him touch her. She gets out of the car wearing a sweatshirt, she covered the bruises on her face with makeup of course but there's something else she looks kind of pale and scared. She walks slowly and stiffly yet she's also kinda shaky and I notice that she's sweating. She comes through the door and doesn't look at us.

"Hey I need to change into a Dot tee," she says very softly walking past me and Owen towards the break room.

"We'll be right back Ray," I tell him as Owen and I follow Clare.

She goes into the break room and we follow her in, Owen closing the door behind us.

"What happened? You promised to call me if anything happened." I remind her.

"The only thing that happened was we had sex again, he didn't hit me or anything." She tells us.

Her voice is steely, almost determined as if she's trying to convince herself. Owen and I both watch her as she very slowly sits and sets her purse on the bench.

"You look…how much sex did you have? Was this actually consensual sex?" Owen asks.

She bites her lip, looks down, closing her eyes and I can see her fighting back the tears. She nods but we know she's lying if not about the sex then she's holding back something else.

"Can you get me a Dot t-shirt Mark?" She requests.

"Yeah sure," I say.

Walking across the room to where we keep the spare employee shirts, I get one out that will fit her and turn around to watch her stand up and then she like passes out! I'm frozen watching her fall like a dead weight as my heart stops watching her go unconscious. Thank god Owen has fast reflexes and he scoops her up before she hits the ground. Almost as soon as she's in his arms she starts to wake up, she kinda groans and clings to Owen's shirt probably out of confusion. Owen looks at me and I'm still frozen, Owen has worry in his eyes and holds her a little closer to him.

"Dude she's burning up I think we better get her home." Owen says.

I finally snap out of it, dropping the t-shirt and rushing over to feel her forehead.

"I'm okay I just stood up too fast, put me down Owen." She tries to insist but her voice is weak.

"Not happening Clare," Owen informs her.

"No I'm fine, I can work I just need to eat breakfast." She tries again.

"Clare, you're sweating, you have a fever and you're obviously weak. Go put her in my car will you, I'm going to tell Ray to call Laura because I'm taking a sick day and so is Clare." I inform Owen.

Owen nods and starts walking for the back door, I grab her purse poke my head out to the front to inform Ray what's going on. He looks at me kind of annoyed but still nods, I think he saw how ill she looked too. When I get out to my car Owen has her in the passenger seat and he's leaning against the door.

"She's stopped arguing but she wants to go to her house," Owen tells me.

"I'll take care of her, tell B and Drew what happened." I request.

"Yeah I will, if you need us to pick anything up let us know." Owen says to me then opens the car door and looks at Clare. "Go get some rest, we'll check on you later." Owen tells her and she smiles at him.

Getting in the car and setting her purse by her I drive to her house. She calls Jay and tells him she's sick with a fever and is going home so she doesn't get him sick. I assume he asks if he should stop by because she tells him no and she'll be fine she just needs to sleep. When we get to her house she tells me to pull into the garage, gets out of the car goes to the side of the garage and a minute later the garage opens and I pull in. We go into her house through the back door and take her straight up to her room, I help her into some pajamas and then into her bed.

"I'm going to get you some water and see if you have any medicine for fever." I tell her and she nods.

Going down to her kitchen I get a glass and pour some water into it from the pitcher in the fridge. Figuring the medicine is probably kept into the washroom I go there next and I do find something that says it reduces fevers. She hasn't like coughed or sneezed or even sniffled and she hasn't even complained of any other symptoms so I'm pretty sure it's just a fever. I'm not like a doctor or whatever but I know you can get fevers for all kinds of reasons, the last few days have been super stressful and emotional or whatever for her and her body worked hard so the fact that she like got sick with a fever shouldn't be too shocking. When I go back into the bedroom she's propped up a little, I hand her the glass of water and the medicine.

"You should go back to work; you don't have to stay to take care of me." She tells me after she swallows the medicine and drinks half the glass of water.

"I have sick days and even if I didn't I'd still be here to take care of you. I love you Clare, I'm not going to leave you when you're sick." I affirm sitting on the bed next to her and putting my arm around her shoulders.

"I love you too Mark," she says putting her head on my chest and clinging to me. "I'm sorry," she whispers after a minute.

"You don't need to be sorry Clare; you should try and get some more sleep. I won't leave you, not for a minute I promise." I assure her.

She nods a little, I start rubbing her arm gently and stroking her hair, soon she's asleep on me. I watch her sleep and hold her close wondering what she's holding back and hiding from me now.

**Update Soon**


	18. Nothing But Love Standing in our Way

**Ch. 18 Nothing But Love Standing in the Way**

**(FITZ)**

After sleeping for a few hours she begins to like move and wake up, she's still sort of sweating and still feels very warm.

"Clare," I say softly brushing some hair from her face. She opens her eyes and smiles when she sees me. "You should drink some more water you've been asleep for over three hours." I tell her.

She whimpers sucking in a breath and squeezing her eyes shut as she tries to sit up. I move so I can help her to sit then hand her the water and she drinks what's in the glass.

"Thanks," she smiles taking my hand but has tears in her eyes.

"I'll get you some more water, do you have a thermometer?" I ask her.

"In my washroom second drawer down," she replies.

Gently placing my lips on hers in a soft kiss before I get off the bed I go downstairs to fill the glass with water again. Going into the washroom, I find the thermometer and go back to her. She parts her lips and I place the thermometer under her tongue, placing the glass of water on the nightstand I take her in my arms and gently rub her neck while waiting for the beeping of the thermometer.

"100.1 not too high but it's still a fever." I tell her when I take it from her mouth and she's drinking some water.

"You shouldn't have kissed me, you'll get sick." She says after drinking down most of the glass.

"You just have a fever and I don't care if I get sick. How are you feeling otherwise?" I question.

"A little light headed," She tells me.

"Probably from the fever, how about a hot bath? I think it can help sweat out the fever." I suggest. She nods and I get up, going to the washroom and turning on the water for the bath making sure it's hot but won't burn her. I hear her making noises in the bedroom and rush back in to see her trying to get up off the bed. "What are you doing?" I ask picking her up.

"Going to the washroom," she tells me.

"Wait for me; I don't want you passing out again." I insist taking her to the washroom and setting her down.

She takes her pajama top off with a few sounds of pain; I turn off the water and look over at her. She has some dark blue and purple marks across her stomach, they're horizontal and some of them overlap. When I helped her into her pajamas earlier she had her back to me and I wasn't looking at her body. She turns around taking off her pajama shorts and panties and I see she has fresh bruising on her back as well, large ones under her shoulder blades and along her lower back.

"Clare what did he do to you?" I demand but in a soft voice.

She doesn't respond just puts her head down, tears rolling down her cheeks. Wrapping her in my arms and holding her close I kiss her forehead. She cries against me for a minute and then pulls away getting in the bath. She sinks into the hot water slowly, I watch her moving like stiffly and it hurts me to see her in pain. She slowly leans back against the wall of the bath, her eyes fill with tears again and she sort of curls up and pulls her knees to her chest.

"Clare please tell me what happened," I request taking a washcloth and gently washing her back.

"It'll just make you angry," she says looking up at me with like the saddest most pain filled eyes I've ever seen.

"I'm already angry, I already hate him please tell me." I say again.

She looks down biting her lip, her fingers trailing through the water around her body making like gentle ripples. "He was very sweet when he got home, apologizing again, he even brought me roses. Everything was good until I went to shower, he got in with me, I told him I was tired but he didn't listen." She says so softly I can barely hear her.

"He raped you in the shower," I state as my hands start to make fists.

"He started to then he was getting tired of standing and holding me up so we got out of the shower and he bent me over the sink." She confesses.

I swallow hard, the image of this is like stuck in my mind now or whatever and I want to kill him. Thinking of this as sick as it like makes me I realize what the bruises on her stomach came from. I slowly release the fist one of my hands is making and very softly run my fingertips across her belly.

"It was very painful and I couldn't stand even gripping the sink and I told him so. He took me to the bed and finished there." She concludes.

"No wonder you got sick," I say calmly even though inside I'm like enraged. She looks at me with such like shame in her eyes that it breaks my heart. "He did this Clare not you, he should be ashamed. I love you," I remind her pressing my lips to hers again. Then something occurs to me. "Wait he didn't put on a condom before getting in the shower did he?" I ask and she shakes her head. "But you're on birth control right? B took you to get birth control didn't she?" I ask her.

"Yeah," she nods her lower lip like shaking, trembling or whatever, "I'm on birth control." She says very softly and with a very shaky voice.

"Clare is there…"

She suddenly stands up quickly even though the quick movements cause her pain. "The waters getting cold," she says.

Grabbing a towel I wrap it around her and help her out of the bath, drying her off and helping her into her pajamas and down to the sofa downstairs, turning on the TV for her. I give her more medicine and water and take her temperature again.

"Your fever went down a little, the medicine should help too. I'm going to call Owen and have them pick us up some lunch and go by my apartment to get the muscle cream so we can put it on your bruises. Is there anything else you need or want?" I ask as I cover her with a blanket from the back of the sofa.

"Just you," she replies taking my hand.

"You have me," I assure her combing my fingers through her hair and taking her lips. After a minute of tasting her fevered lips I pull away and get out my phone calling Owen. "Hey where you at?" I ask when I hear him answer.

"The Torres estate, what's up?" Owen questions.

"Can you get some lunch for us? Soup for her and like a burger or whatever for me." I request.

"Yeah no problem, we need to eat too we'll be over soon." Owen says and hangs up.

"They'll be here soon with lunch." I tell her.

"I love you Mark," she says to me.

"I love you too Clare," I smile before kissing her lips again.

While waiting for Owen, Drew and B to get there I sit on the other end of the sofa with her feet on my lap while I rub them. When the doorbell rings I get up and answer the door letting them in.

"Thought we'd have lunch with you guys," Drew grins as he and Owen put two large to-go bags on the kitchen table.

I find Clare's soup that came with a roll and put it in a bowl and a plate, taking it to her with a spoon and filling her water glass again. Owen hands me a box with a burger and fries and we all make our plates and sit down by Clare.

"Owen told us what happened, you passing out, are you feeling better?" Bianca asks.

"Yeah my fevers down and I feel a lot better. Mark's been taking good care of me." She tells them.

"I thought no one could call you by your first name?" Bianca teases.

"I love her she can call me whatever she like wants." I reply.

"I love you too," Clare smiles at me.

"You two are cute and saying I love you already but aren't you still with Jay?" Drew questions.

"I can't leave him he'll kill me, he told me he would and I believe he will." Clare says softly.

"She's scared to leave him but that fucking asshole raped her in the shower and over the sink!" I state angrily and the other three stop eating. Clare bites her lip with tears in her eyes, shutting her eyes tight. I reach over and take her hand, she looks at me and I kiss her hand. "I'm sorry I just hate that he hurts you." I apologize.

"I know," she nods.

"Adam and the others miss you. When you get better you have to come over and spend the day." Drew tells her changing the subject and I'm glad he does.

"I will, I promise I miss seeing Adam and everyone else too." Clare tells him.

"Can you guys go by my apartment and pick up the muscle cream?" I ask when we've finished our lunch.

"Yeah no problem," Owen nods as I hand him my keys. "We'll be back in a little while." Owen says and they wave as they leave.

"I'm going to clean up the mess so you don't have to worry about it; you've got enough on your mind gorgeous." I tell her, kissing her forehead and am glad when she doesn't feel as hot as she did.

"This isn't fair to you," she says catching me by the shirt so I can't walk away.

"I don't mind cleaning up," I reply taking her hand off my shirt and kissing it.

"That's not what I meant." She responds as I walk to the kitchen.

"I know what you meant and I told you before I don't care. I spent an entire year wishing I could have you and doing some pretty terrible things to try and get you. Having you, in any way, knowing you love me," I tell her walking back to the sofa, cupping her face and looking into her eyes, "is worth all of this and more. I'm not thrilled about the fact that I have to share you with someone, especially Jay but I still have you and believe me when I tell you it's a lot better than not having you."

Capturing her lips for a passionately, loving and heated kiss that has nothing to do with her fever I show her how much I love her in the kiss. Pulling away after a few minutes so she can breathe, I smile at her and kiss her nose before returning to the kitchen to clean up. When I finish cleaning up I sit on the sofa again and a few minutes later the others return and Owen gives me the tube of muscle cream. Clare lies down on the sofa so I can rub it on her stomach and ribs, the others sit on the coffee table and she pulls up her top enough to expose the bruises. The other three haven't seen the one on her ribs and the ones on her belly are new.

"Holy shit!" Bianca says with pain in her tone which is rare for her.

"Fuck!" Drew exclaims in astonishment.

"Those look fresh, fucking bastard!" Owen states.

Clare gets tears in her eyes and looks away from them as I start gently rubbing the cream on her.

"These are from last night; she has more fresh ones on her back." I inform them doing my best to keep my voice as gentle and even as possible to not upset her more.

After getting the bruises on her torso she rolls over so I can get the ones on her back. The sight of her body so battered makes the others start to turn to green, they all look pissed and ill. I know Bianca and Owen both have seen plenty of people beaten up; the three of us have beaten our share. Blood, bruises, beatings don't normally bother us but right now they both look like they might hurl and I don't blame them. I don't know Drew as well as I know Owen and Bianca but I'm pretty sure given Adam's deal he's like seen a lot of bruises, had a few and given a few. I mean he tried to fight me after Owen and me bugged Adam that day Owen threw him into a door. Even Drew though looks sick like he's going to throw up or whatever.

"We should probably head back, we've been gone for a while and my mom will be home pretty soon." Drew says when I put Clare's shirt back down.

"Yeah we'll see you guys later, I'll bring you some dinner." Owen says as the three of them stand up.

"Thanks how much do I owe you for lunch?" I ask him.

"Don't worry about it," Owen shrugs smiling at Clare.

"Feel better Clare, I need you to come be at Adam's so I have someone cool to hang out with." Bianca says hugging Clare.

"Hey!" Owen and Drew say offended and Clare giggles.

"I'll be over as soon as I feel better promise, thanks for lunch and everything guys." Clare smiles.

We say goodbye to them, I lock the door behind them as they leave and I return to Clare's side. After rubbing the cream into all her bruises we spend the rest of the afternoon watching movies and TV. I make sure she drinks lots of water and give her another dose of the fever reducing medicine. Just before five Jay calls her and she warns me to be quiet.

"Hi Jay," she answers in a weak voice and I listen to her side of the conversation. "No still feeling awful…fever and sore throat…no just sleeping mostly one of my friends brought me soup and I took a bath…no I'm just gonna go back to sleep and I don't want to get you sick, I might have gotten you sick already because we were together last night…I love you too, goodnight." She says hanging up and looking at me. "He thinks I'm sicker than I am so he won't be coming over. He said he'd call me tomorrow." She says turning up the volume on the TV.

I don't say anything; I have nothing to say because the only thing I can think is how angry I am at Jay and how very much he doesn't deserve her. It isn't long after she hangs up with Jay that Owen comes by with dinner for us, more soup for Clare and lasagna for him and me. Owen eats with us and leaves after we eat, Clare and me stay on the sofa watching TV for another couple of hours and when she gets tired I carry her up to bed. I take her temperature again and she's almost back to normal. I'm not tired at all but I get ready for bed and lie down with her anyway, she puts her head on my chest, I hold her in my arms and soon she's asleep. It takes me a while of lying there with Clare in my arms before I can fall asleep, probably because I'm thinking about how much I hate Jay with a passion and all the many painful ways I want to kill him, eventually I do fall asleep though.

**(CLARE)**

I wake feeling refreshed and breathing in Fitz's sweet and musky scent. Looking at the clock I see it's a little before four in the morning and despite the fact that I'm very sore, some of my bruises are throbbing and I'm still feeling fairly weak I wake up extremely happy. I wake so happy because I wake up with Fitz, in his arms and I wish I could always wake up this way. I feel like my fever is gone and I know we should open the Dot so I should probably wake Fitz up. Turning slightly I put my lips on Fitz's chest very softly and then his neck and finally his lips. It takes a few seconds but Fitz begins to kiss me back, his hand goes to the back of my head tunneling into my hair.

"Feeling better?" Fitz asks with a smile when our lips disconnect.

"Much I'm pretty sure my fevers gone and we should probably go open the Dot." I reply.

"Lets make sure your fever is completely gone before we go into work." Fitz says kissing me again before he gets out of the bed. He goes into the washroom and retrieves the thermometer. "98.6 you're back to normal but we can call in sick anyway." Fitz says putting the thermometer down.

"No we should go in to work, I feel for bad for not working yesterday. I don't know about you but I need a shower." I reply.

"I need a shower too," Fitz agrees.

"Why don't you shower with me it'll save us time?" I suggest.

Fitz doesn't say anything just gets a pleasured and lustful grin on his face and gets out of bed. He comes around and helps me out of the bed, when we get in the washroom he turns on the shower, I start to take off my pajamas but when I suck in a breath and whimper in pain Fitz comes over and undresses me. Then he slips out of his boxers as I step into the shower. The difference, the big difference, in showering with Fitz and showering with Jay is that I know Fitz isn't going to rape me in the shower; he won't even touch me if I don't want him to. Fitz gets in the shower while I'm washing my hair, I hear him close the curtain but he doesn't even get near me. When I'm done rinsing my hair and open my eyes Fitz is leaning on the wall and watching me, his hands behind him and a blissful grin on his face. His eyes are happy and full of love and even though I can feel all the bruises and I know I must look like a tenderized piece of meat I feel gorgeous and sexy because that's how he looks at me. I bite my lip with a confident smile and continue washing my hair.

"I love you Mark," I tell him going up to him, placing my hand on his chest and putting my lips on his when I'm done washing my hair.

"I love you Clare," He smiles.

He trades places with me to wash his hair and I watch him while washing my body. I would very much like to make love to Fitz in the shower, or even take him back to the bed so he can eat me out again but even if we didn't have to get to work I hurt in too many places in too many ways for us to do anything. When we get out of the shower he calls Laura to say that we're opening the café. I begin getting dressed slowly then Fitz helps me get dressed when he's off the phone. As he's helping me fasten my bra I realize I should be pushing him away, this isn't fair to him. Despite how much I love him, I can't keep him, not like this and when he finds out I'm pregnant with Jay's baby as I probably am I doubt he's going to stay with me. It takes me longer to get ready than him, mostly because of all the makeup I have to put on the bruise on my face to cover it but he waits patiently for me. Fitz drives us after I lock up my house; he parks out back like always and helps me out of the car. He unlocks the café and turns off the alarm, locking the door behind us and switching on the lights.

"I'll get the cash drawer if you…" I stop talking when Fitz picks me up and places me on the counter.

"You sit right here," he instructs me then kisses me softly.

"But we need to open," I argue.

"I will open you sit there and supervise, do not move." He says again.

I twist my mouth at him but don't argue, he'll just tell me to stay put again. I watch him get ready to open and just before he's ready to turn the sign and unlock the door he sets a stool in front of the cash register and puts me on the stool. As soon as he unlocks the door people flood into the café, I take the orders and the money and Fitz gets them their food and coffee. The rush dies down just as Ray comes in for his shift, Fitz helps me off the stool, grabs us some breakfast and we go back the break room. When we're done with break there's another small rush and then things are calm again, by the time Ray goes on his break we're the only ones in the café. Fitz leans on the counter by my stool, pushing a curl behind my ear and leaning in to kiss me but I lean away.

"We can't keep doing this, it isn't fair to you. It isn't right for me to keep dragging you along as a casualty in my relationship with Jay." I tell him.

He catches my chin holding firmly and overtaking my lips with his, the kiss is full of love, compassion, tenderness and such a fervent wanting it takes my breath away and makes my heart skip a beat.

"You're not dragging me along and I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this with you a hundred percent, I want to be in this with you. Do I like sharing you with another guy, especially a complete asshole like Jay? No of course not but you're scared to leave him and I get it. You're still mine, you might belong to him too but you're mine. You're mine more than his and as long as you need me and love me I'm not going anywhere." He asserts and I have to smile.

I hope he means every word, that he'll always be there, that he won't go anywhere because I'm going to need him. I'm sure however that he's not going to be too happy being the other man forever.

"I do love you Mark and I do need you." I tell him as a customer comes in. We serve the customer and they leave, once again we're alone and I broach another subject. "My mom and Glen are coming home tomorrow and I'm going back to Jay's tonight." I say slowly but can't even bring myself to meet his eyes as I say it.

"Why? He still thinks you're sick just tell him you're still not well. We can sleep at your place tonight or mine." Fitz counters.

"I'm afraid if I tell him I'm sick again he'll get impatient and come by the house. If he finds you there he'll kill you Mark and if he finds out I'm not there he'll kill me." I reply.

"I don't care if he kills me," Fitz responds in a bit of a pout.

"But I do," I tell him.

"And what if he hits you again? Or rapes you?" Fitz inquires.

"I'll call you as soon as I'm able but he won't, I'll tell him I'm still weak from the fever." I respond.

"Yeah because you saying no has ever stopped him before." Fitz shoots back in a bitter tone.

"It's better than risking him coming to the house and finding you there. I know you don't like it Mark but what am I supposed to do?" I question as I get off the stool and go over to him putting one hand on his shoulder and the other on his chest, he still looks angry but he doesn't move away when I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. "You know I'm in love with you Mark that I want to be with you and only you but I'm trapped by Jay. I'll understand if you take back what you said. If you…"

He cuts me off with a forcefully passionate kiss, I more than melt into the kiss; he pulls me into him with the kiss. We're so lost in the kiss, in each other that we don't hear the door open. It isn't until someone whistles in approval of the kiss that we break apart laughing and turn to look at our audience.

"You must be feeling better Clare that was a pretty hot kiss." Owen remarks.

"Hi Owen, yeah I feel much better, the fever's all gone and Mark took great care of me." I smile going back over to my stool but Fitz grabs me by the hips and stops me.

"If you're well enough to go back to Jay's tonight," Fitz says and Owen cocks an eyebrow at me looking at me like I'm insane for going back to Jay's place, which I am, "then you're well enough to go see Adam and the other's. At least I'm assuming that's where you're headed after this?" Fitz asks Owen.

"Yep you can come with me Clare," Owen nods.

"I want to see Adam but I have to work," I argue.

"You have to work?" Fitz asks with raised eyebrows. "I love you beautiful but you know Peter lets you work whatever hours you damn well please and all I let you do is sit on a stool at the cash register." He points out and Owen snickers a little.

"Okay I'll go see Adam, it has been a few days and I do miss everybody. You'll come on your lunch in an hour right? I can come back with you and help you study when we're off." I request.

"Yeah I'll come on my lunch, why don't you ring Owen up before you leave." Fitz smiles.

Owen orders and I ring him up while Fitz gets his donut and coffee, I leave with Owen just as Ray gets back from his break and I hear him ask Fitz where I'm going.

"Owen," I speak up after we've been driving a minute, "you wouldn't be happy if you had to share the girl you love with another guy would you? Especially a guy that you hated?" I ask him.

"No I couldn't do that," he replies.

"That's what I thought," I sigh.

"But I'm not Fitz and I've never been in love with a girl the way he's in love with you. I was crazy about Anya but I wouldn't have wanted to share her with anyone. But I only got a crush on her a few months ago and I wasn't anywhere as deep in love with her as Fitz is with you. He's had it bad for you all year, he watched you with Eli and it drove him crazy, made his do some bad things. He almost had you on Vegas Night and after getting out of juvie but now he really has you not exactly all to himself but he's been sort of like a dying man in the desert chasing a mirage of water and now he finally found a pool water only he has to share it with a fucking prick, even so he's not about to walk away." Owen says.

He parks outside of Adam's house, I see Audra's car and Bianca's but I'm sure at least Eli's here too.

"Can you see any of my bruises?" I ask Owen before getting out of the car.

"No you're good, the one on your face is covered by makeup and the others are covered by your clothes. They probably will notice you moving stiffly though." Owen comments.

Taking a deep breath I get out of the car slowly and follow Owen to the basement door. Eli's here just as I thought, so is Drew of course, as well as Katie, Bianca, Wes, Jenna and K.C. and they all look at us when we enter.

"Hey you're feeling better," Adam smiles when I appear from behind Owen.

"Yes much better," I reply going to the sofa to take a seat between Eli and Adam before hugging Adam and using all my strength to not show how much pain I'm in.

"Why are you wearing a Dot t-shirt?" Jenna asks.

"I work there now," I explain.

"Since when?" Eli questions.

"A few days ago, Peter gave me a job. I should be working now but Mark told me to come visit you since I've been sick and haven't seen you." I say to Adam but I'm informing everyone.

"Who's Mark?" Wes inquires.

"Fitz," Bianca informs him, "but only Clare can call him that, if anyone else tries he'll hurt you. Even his parents called him Fitz."

"Mark? You call him Mark now?" Eli asks.

"We've been spending a lot of time together, working and helping him study it just sort of happened." I explain.

"Uh huh," Eli and Adam snicker together.

Despite all the distance Eli and I have had he still knows me too well and sometimes I wish the two of them didn't.

"We're just friends, I have a boyfriend remember?" I retort.

"Yeah we remember you won't let us meet him." Eli counters.

"Yeah remind us why again?" Adam inquires.

Drew, Bianca and Owen remain silent but I can practically hear their thoughts as they silently scream out why I won't let anyone else meet Jay and none of them are good reasons.

"I believe she said her relationship was still new but it's been almost a month now and I don't think you can classify your relationship is new anymore so when will you be bringing him by?" Eli asks.

Drew, Bianca and Owen all give me the same look and I'm glad no one else is looking at them. Everyone else is looking at me expectantly awaiting an answer.

"I just don't think you'd get along with him, any of you." I reply slowly and quietly.

"Well why don't you let us meet him and make that decision for ourselves?" Eli asks.

"How's your arm Adam?" I query in a poor attempt to change the subject.

"The sling comes off and I start physio in a couple of weeks and it hurts a lot. When are we meeting the boyfriend?" Adam questions steering us right back to the subject.

"Come on Clare you can't hide him forever," K.C. says.

"Maybe she's embarrassed by him," Wes comments.

"Maybe he's famous and she has to keep it a secret," Jenna offers.

"You're not secretly dating Jake again are you?" Katie asks.

"No I'm not dating Jake again, haven't talked to or thought about Jake in weeks. Jay's not famous and I'm not embarrassed by him. He just runs with a different crowd and he wouldn't get along with any of you." I assert.

"What kind of different crowd?" Eli asks.

"What school does he go to?" Wes questions at almost the same time.

Thankfully I'm saved by the ringing of Katie's phone, she has to go pick up her sister. She hugs Adam, kisses Drew and says goodbye to the rest of us but everyone looks at me as soon as she's gone. Drew, Owen and Bianca just lean back all giving me the same look and everyone else waiting for an answer.

"He doesn't go to school he has a job," I reply.

"You're dating a drop out?" K.C. asks.

"No, well yeah I guess he did drop out actually but he works as a mechanic." I tell them.

"You're dating a drop out grease monkey?" Eli questions in disbelief.

"So you think none of us would get along with him because he dropped out and he likes cars?" Adam asks.

"I…just…" I stumble over a reply and look at Bianca, Owen and Drew for help but they all just shrug. "I don't think you'll like him because he's older." I confess.

"So Eli's older than you, so is Jake," Jenna says.

"So is Mark, I mean Fitz." Eli teases.

"Older than that," I tell them.

"So eighteen?" Jenna asks and I shake my head.

"Nineteen?" K.C. queries and I shake my head again.

"Twenty?" Adam questions but sounds a little sick saying it.

Again I shake my head while taking a deep interest in the hem of my shirt and nervously chewing on my lip.

"Clare how old is this guy?" Eli inquires, his tone is apprehensive but hard set with determination.

I take a deep breath and swallow hard wondering exactly how I should answer.

**Update Soon**


	19. I Need To Know

**Ch. 19 I Need To Know**

**(CLARE)**

When I'm silent for a minute Eli repeats the question in a slightly more severe tone.

"How old is Jay Clare?" He questions.

I remain silent, biting my lip and avoiding looking at the three people that know the answer already.

"You said you've know Jay since you were twelve right?" Adam asks apparently growing tired of my silence.

"Yes I've known him since I was twelve," I nod.

"So when you were twelve how old was he?" Adam inquires.

I take a deep breath, there isn't any way of avoiding the topic now and if I lie Drew, Owen and Bianca could dispute me. "Nineteen," I admit under my breath.

The room gets very still, eerily silent and uncomfortably tense for a couple of minutes and then there's a flurry of talking and yelling all at once.

"HE'S SEVEN YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!" Eli yells.

"He's twenty three!" K.C. states in disbelief.

"Clare you're jailbait!" Jenna breathes out with wide eyes.

"Clare you lost your virginity to a twenty three year old guy!" Adam exclaims.

"A GUY THAT WAS AN ADULT WHEN YOU WERE BARELY IN PUBERTY! YOU ARE NOT DATING THIS GUY!" Eli states.

"Eli you can't tell me who to date you're not my boyfriend anymore!" I snap at him angrily.

"Clare the guy is twenty three and you're sixteen!" Eli replies in a calmer voice.

Wes has remained very quite this whole time and I look over to see that he's just staring at me. K.C. and Jenna on the other hand seem to be texting rapidly.

"Guys you can't tell anyone," I say.

"I'm just telling Connor," K.C. tells me.

"And I'm just telling Dave but I will tell Alli next time I talk to her." Jenna comments.

"My mom doesn't know and you guys can't tell your parents. Please I know he's older but I've known him a long time. He loves me and age isn't that big of a deal." I try to reason with them.

Bianca, Owen and Drew are all giving me the same look but at least they're keeping silent.

"I won't tell the Bhandari's but are you sure you know what you're doing?" Jenna questions.

"Yes I know what I'm doing." I tell them now Bianca, Owen and Drew start making noises.

"He's seven years older than you and you lost your virginity to him after a few days! We dated for months!" Eli says.

"But I've known Jay longer than I've known you." I shoot back.

"I don't care you can't date him!" Eli states.

"He's seven years older than you Clare doesn't that seem creepy to you?" Adam questions.

"No I've known him a long time and Eli you don't get a say in who I date." I remind him again.

"I may not be your boyfriend anymore but I am your friend so I do get a say in who you date and I say you're not dating a twenty three year old creep!" Eli says flatly.

"Eli you don't even know him, you can't decide he's a creep!" I retort in frustration.

I'm getting tired of defending my relationship to them. The worst part is I'm defending more out of fear than love for Jay but the more they attack him the more I want to run to Jay. With a deep breath I stand up quickly from the sofa and walk to the door to open it.

"Where are you going?" Adam questions.

"I'm not going to stay here so you guys can ridicule my relationship that you know nothing about!" I tell them throwing the door open as I whirl around and almost bumping into Fitz as he comes in.

"Whoa! What's going on?" Fitz asks catching me by the waist.

His touch instantly calms me, I relax, exhaling deeply and no longer feel the need to run to Jay. Instead I want to be in Fitz's arms, kissing his lips, safe and loved. I resist with all the others watching since I was just defending my need to be with Jay.

"Did you know that Jay is seven years older than her?" Eli asks him.

Fitz's face changes, he turns me around and pulls me back into the room by my hand to keep me from leaving.

"Oh yeah, she told me and I don't like it either." Fitz says.

"Clare why don't we make some sandwiches and stuff for lunch?" Bianca says meaning she wants me to go upstairs so we can talk.

"Yeah sure," I reply.

Fitz lets go of my hand so I can go upstairs, Bianca closes the door to the basement once we're up. We go to the kitchen and begin pulling out things to make sandwiches.

"I've been in abusive relationships before Clare and I know how hard they are to get out of, better than any of them downstairs. So let me give you some advice, number one since you never know what could set him off try to keep him happy. The best way to do that is build up his ego, make him feel like the only man ever, like you need him. All guys like to have their egos built up. Jay loves you in his own twisted way and his mind the things he does are probably to protect you, play to that. Number two if he's mad or hitting you don't fight back or run just submit, curl into a ball, apologize whatever. Fighting back will just make it worse, he wants to be in control and once he's calmer get out of there call one of us. I know you can't always get out of there right away but get out as soon as you can." Bianca advises me.

"I will," I promise her.

We finish making sandwiches and take them downstairs with a pitcher of juice. The subject of my relationship with Jay seems to have been dropped for the time being.

"We should go we have to get back to work, well I have to get back to work you can stay if you want Clare." Fitz says.

"No I want to go; Peter gave me a job I should actually work. I'll be over tomorrow Adam, bye everyone." I say hugging Adam and Jenna before leaving. "How'd you get them to stop talking about Jay?" I ask Fitz when we're in his car and driving back to the Dot.

"I told them Owen, Drew, Bianca and me was looking out for you and we'd met the guy. Didn't tell them he hit you since we promised not to." Fitz replies but his tone is filled with ire.

"What did you guys tell them about Jay?" I ask.

"That we could see that he loved you but that was it, what else could we say? Had to calm Eli down more than anyone else, I think Wes was just in shock." Fitz responds as we park behind the Dot.

We get out of the car going to the backdoor stopping Fitz just before we go in to kiss him gently.

"Thanks Mark," I say after kissing him.

"Come on we should get back to work," Fitz says walking in ahead of me.

I sit on the stool to ring people up again, when Fitz gets off at one I get off too.

"Where do you want to study?" I ask him when we leave the café.

"Why don't we just go upstairs, it's pretty hot out." Fitz says grabbing the keys to Above the Dot.

Fitz grabs a couple of books from the backseat and we go upstairs, he sits in one of the armchairs so I sit in the other. I help him study for about an hour before we take a break, he gets us a couple of sodas from the kitchen and we sit silently for a minute. If you tell the others he's hitting you then you could break up with him. We could all like go to the cops and th…" Fitz is saying when I cut him off.

"Mark we've been over this I can't leave him he'll kill me and if he knows I to be with you then he'll kill you." I remind him.

"I don't care, I'm willing to take that chance," Fitz says.

"But I'm not, I need you Mark, I love you." I tell him.

"But you love him too, you say you love me and you want to be with me but you're staying with him! He hurts you Clare, he hits you and he rapes you how can you stay with him?" Fitz says angrily.

"Because I don't have a choice!" I reply with an irritated tone because I feel like I keep having the same argument over and over.

I get up from my chair and walk across the room a bit turning my back to Fitz.

"YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE CLARE YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE WITH ME!" He yells.

"NO I DON'T MARK, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU BUT I CAN'T AND YOU KNOW THAT!" I scream back turning around again.

"IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME THEN DO IT!" Fitz screams.

"I CAN'T!" I scream back. A sharp pain shoots through my ribs, my bruise starts throbbing and I double over. "Ow," I whimper.

Fitz rushes over putting his hands on my arms to steady me. "Are you okay?" He asks with a worried voice, all animosity and anger have vanished from his tone.

"My ribs hurt where they're bruised," I tell him.

He picks me up and takes me to one of the arm chairs setting me on his lap. "It's probably from yelling I'm sorry Clare. I didn't mean to upset you, I know you're scared to leave him and I know why. I hate that he hurts you, I hate that you're with him instead of me but I won't bring it up again." Fitz tells me.

"I'm trapped Mark but I made the trap and I never should have brought you into it. I'll understand if you want out." I reply but I'm selfishly hoping he'll stay.

"I don't want out, I want you." He says softly.

He cups my chin, tipping my head up to capture my lips in a passionately loving kiss. I melt into the kiss, the world seems right when we're kissing. Not like with Jay when the only time our relationship seems right is when we we're kissing, with Fitz the whole world seems right when we kiss. Every time he touches me or even looks at me I know he loves me and I fall more in love with him. But I have to go back to Jay; it isn't just fear that pulls me back to him although that is the biggest thing. There are some things I have to know, some questions I need to ask him to hear the answers from his mouth and while I think I already know the answers I have to ask them anyway. Fitz pulls away from the kiss and looks at me; I lay my head on his shoulder and take his hand.

"Can you take me to Jay's now? I want to be there before he gets home." I request after a couple of silent minutes.

"You sure you want to go back tonight, you can tell him you're still sick and sleep at my place." Fitz offers.

"No I need to go back tonight, I don't want to risk him going to my place and not finding me there or worse finding you there. I'll be okay Mark." I try to assure him.

I feel his chest get tight because he's afraid I won't be okay, that Jay will either hit me or have sex with me. I feel his hesitation in every breath and I know it must kill him to take me there. I pick my head up again and gently take his lips, the kiss starts out soft and tender but rapidly develops fervor.

"Yeah I'll take you over there now," Fitz sighs when our lips part.

We gather our stuff and go down to his car and get in, he pulls up a short time later outside of Jay's apartment building.

"Thanks Mark, if anything happens I'll call you or one of the others as soon as I'm able." I assure him before leaning over to kiss him goodbye.

He gives me a hesitant smile but doesn't say anything and I get out of the car. Jay isn't home yet like I was hoping he wouldn't be so I let myself in. Sitting on the sofa and turning on the TV, it's nearly an hour later before I hear the key in the door lock.

"Hey Babe you're home," Jay smiles coming in locking the door and coming over to kiss me. "You feeling better?" He asks.

"Yeah my fevers gone but I'm still pretty weak," I reply.

"Looks like you went to work; they didn't work you too hard did they?" Jay asks.

"No I just sat on a stool and rang up the orders; I went to see Adam on my lunch break since I hadn't been over there in a few days." I tell him.

"Cool are you hungry I can order us some food or cook us something, I can make pasta or mac and cheese." Jay says.

"Is that all the food you have?" I ask.

"No there's some chicken breast in the freezer and vegetables and stuff but I'm not much of a cook and if you're still weak I don't want you to cook." Jay replies.

"Let's order food then, I just want soup or chicken curry or something." I say.

"There's an Indian place close by I'll order from there." Jay says.

He goes to the bedroom for a laptop and brings it out so we can order online. We watch TV while waiting for our food and he puts his arm around me. When there's a knock at the door I go to the washroom so Jay won't get mad if the delivery guy smiles at me or something. When I hear the door lock again I come back out and Jay gives me my food. We eat silently while watching TV and then Jay cleans up; while he's cleaning up I decide to ask him some questions. I know what I'm about to ask could make him mad but I have to know.

"Jay what if I am pregnant?" I ask looking over to him.

He comes back to the sofa putting his hand on my belly and smiling. "That would be great Babe; I'd be the happiest man alive." Jay replies then kisses me hard.

"I know but what about school, I'm 16 Jay I still have to finish high school and I want to go to University. Being a Mom at sixteen would stop all that." I reply.

"You can finish high school Babe, you'll have to take some time off but you could make up the missed credits I know how smart you are." Jay says pushing a curl behind my ear. "You can go to University too as long as it's TU, we can hire a nanny and there's day care and preschool." Jay answers.

"What about the apartment I mean there's no room for a baby in here and babies cost a lot of money. Diapers, formula, wipes, doctors appointments and they need new clothes every few months." I point out.

"We're both working, we can get a bigger apartment and when we're married we can put you on my insurance plus I have some savings." Jay tells me.

"Jay what if my mom doesn't allow us to get married, or my dad I'd need written consent from both parents?" I question.

"They will," Jay smirks.

"But how are you so sure?" I ask.

"Peter told me that your parents said if Darcy was pregnant after her rape then she was going to have the baby and they wanted her and Peter to get married. So if we go to your parents and tell them you're pregnant with my baby they'll give consent for us to get married. They won't let you abort and they won't let you be a single mom." Jay says with confidence.

"Okay what about…" I pause wondering how to phrase this next question. "I mean you like to have sex a lot and if I'm pregnant we won't be able to have sex for a while."

"Actually while you're pregnant we can have all the sex we want, when your belly gets big we have to be careful but we can have sex and your hormones will be raging so you'll be super horny. The only time we won't be able to have sex is for a few weeks after you give birth but that's okay I'll just teach you how to give blow jobs." Jay smiles.

"What about your temper? Babies cry and…"

"Clare I would never hit my child and as long as you don't make me angry I won't hurt you. You need to stop worrying so much Babe, I love you and you know I only hit you because you made me angry. I already told you I was sorry and it would never happen again didn't I?" He asks.

"Yes you did," I nod.

"You know I love you right?" He questions.

"I know, I love you too and I'm sorry for all the questions it's just the thought of being pregnant is scary." I tell him.

"Don't you want to have my baby, be with me forever? Don't you know I'll take care of you Clare?" He questions, his voice starting to raise and pick up anger.

Bianca's earlier advice goes through my head and I swallow back what I'd like to say to him and smile.

"Of course I do, I know you'll take care of me better than anyone and I do want to have your baby and be with you forever but sixteen just seems so young. I'm just scared but I know you'll take good care of me." I assure him. I throw up a little in my mouth as I say it but he relaxes and smiles again. "I was up super early and I'm opening again tomorrow do you mind if I go to bed?" I ask.

"Of course not Babe, you should get to sleep. I have the day off on Monday we can take you down to the clinic and see if you're pregnant." Jay says.

This is a rather scary thought to me but I force a smile on my lips. "Sounds great," I reply kissing him gently. "My mom's coming home tomorrow so I'll have to go home after work."

"That sucks but you haven't moved in yet." Jay says kissing me hard again.

I get off the sofa going to the washroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. When I come out of the washroom Jay gives me another hard kiss goodnight before I go into the bedroom. Changing into pajamas I get in bed and fall asleep dreaming about Fitz.

**(FITZ)**

Clare woke up early and texted me asking me to pick her up on my way to work which I did of course. She was waiting for me outside the apartment building at quarter of five.

"So last night went okay? He didn't hurt you?" I ask her.

"No we didn't even have sex, just had dinner then I told him I was tired and wanted to go to bed since I was opening. He didn't say anything just kissed me and let me go to bed." She tells me.

"I can't believe he let you go to bed without hitting you or raping you," I remark with only a little sarcasm in my voice.

"Mark he's not a monster he just has a temper," she tells me with a slightly annoyed tone.

"I have a temper too but I would never hit you or rape you," I shoot back.

"I know Mark my point is you're making him sound like a complete monster. He has his sweet moments; I wouldn't have fallen for him if he was just a monster." She comments.

"I know that Clare," I sigh wishing he was a complete monster so she never would have spent time with him.

I park out back and we go through the back instead of the front this time, waving to the kitchen staff as we come in.

"I'll…" Clare starts when I hold my finger to her lips to quiet her.

"You'll supervise again," I tell her.

"My bruises are healing Fitz I can help," she insists.

"I don't care; you'll sit there and supervise. I don't want you to hurt yourself, when you're free of bruises then you can help." I assert.

She twists her mouth at me but doesn't argue any further. I finish opening procedures and we get flooded with morning rush, it quiets down just after Ray comes in when Clare and I go on our break.

"Can you take me to Jay's place at lunch I need to get my bag since Mom and Glen are coming home tonight?" She asks me.

"Yeah sure," I nod.

The next couple of hours are pretty slow, Owen comes in on his way to Adam's place and I tell him we'll stop by after work. At lunch I drive her to Jay's apartment building and go up to get her bag. She unlocks the door, we go in and I look around, Jay's apartment is bigger than mine and a little nicer. Clare packs her bag up and we go back down to my car, I drive us back to the Dot and we order lunch from the kitchen. When our shift is over we get in my car and drive to Adam's. It's a full house today; aside from Adam and Drew, Bianca, Owen, Eli, Dave, Connor, Wes, Katie and K.C. are there. When we walk in everyone stops and looks over at us.

"Clare are you really dating a cradle robber?" Dave snickers.

"He's only seven years older than me," she replies.

"That's a lot," Connor remarks.

Clare tenses up and I'm not the only one that notices.

"Okay we promised not to bug her about dating Jay," Adam says.

"But we still want to meet him." Eli adds.

"I'll talk to him; he has the day off tomorrow." She sighs going to sit on the sofa.

Owen gets up so she can sit down in his spot next to Adam and he and I go sit on the stairs.

"Anything happen last night?" Owen asks me in a low voice.

"She says they just had dinner and went to bed." I reply.

"You don't sound like you believe her," Owen says.

"I don't or maybe I just don't want to. This whole thing just fucking sucks!" I reply.

"What do you mean?" Owen asks but before I can answer Clare speaks up.

"Mark we should go so I can help you study," she says standing up.

"Mark?" Connor snickers.

"Hey unless you're Clare you call me Fitz!" I bark at him and he shuts up real quick.

"Call me when you're done we'll hang out," Owen says and I nod.

"See you guys later," I wave as we leave. "You wanted to leave awfully quick." I remark when we're back in my car.

"Eli, K.C. and Katie were giving me grief about Jay, we should study anyway we didn't get much done yesterday. You want to just go to my place? I don't think my mom's home yet." She suggests.

"Sure," I nod.

I drive to her house, getting her bag from the backseat and a few books. She unlocks her door and we go up to her room. Her parents aren't home yet just as she thought. I put her bag down and she takes one of the books from me lying on her bed on her stomach. I sit down near her feet and try to concentrate but she's wearing a skirt and has her legs bent up, slowly kicking them giving me little peaks at her panties. As wrong as I know it is, it's all I can watch and it's turning me on, I start having fantasies about slipping her panties down and eating her out.

"Mark are you listening?" She questions turning to head to look at me.

I snap back to attention and realize I'm hard and it's very obvious. "Sorry I was thinking about something else," I apologize a little embarrassed.

"Yeah I can see that, what were you thinking about?" She asks as she turns on her back and sits up, biting her lip coyly because she knows very well what I was thinking about.

"Touching you," I admit.

"Touching me how?" She questions moving a little closer to me, I'm pretty sure she's getting turned on too.

We haven't done too much but I know by the look in her eye I can take some control here without scaring her. I put my hand on her leg and slowly move my hand up towards her inner thigh.

"Touching you here," I smile grazing my finger tips over the cotton crotch on her panties.

Her eyes close a little, her head dropping back a bit as she leans back on her hands and opens her legs a little more. I move up a little, lifting her skirt and taking hold of her panties pulling them off her legs placing them on the bed next to me. Opening one of her legs a little more so I can get between them I stroke her pussy lips with my fingers.

"Lay down," I instruct her gently and she does.

I lie on my stomach between her legs and slip my tongue into her; she gasps and clutches the bed spread, arching her back. I put my hands under her ass to lift her up a little to give me better access. She moans, her hips start bucking, and I swirl my tongue around in her juices making her writhe even more. Just then we hear two car doors and talking outside.

"Oh my god my Mom's home, you need to stop!" She squeaks and I can hear that she doesn't want me to stop.

She hops up and grabs the books pulling me by the hand to go downstairs.

"Clare what about your panties?" I ask as we're going down the stairs.

"No time," she says.

She sits on the sofa with her back to the door and her legs closed tightly, I sit next to her and she opens one of the books just as her mom and Glen come in.

"We're home Clare." Her mom says when she comes in the door.

"Hi, I'm helping Mark study." She tells them.

"Who's Mark? Oh hi Fitz it's nice to see you again have you kids eaten?" Her mom asks.

"No not yet," Clare replies.

"I should get going anyway, see you tomorrow Clare." I say getting up and taking the books.

"Bye Fitz, will you pick me up in the morning for opening?" She asks.

"Yeah sure, maybe we can finish…studying," I smirk at her and she bites her lip.

Going out to my car again I call Owen after I put the books in the backseat.

"Hey you done already?" Owen asks.

"Yeah I'm done you want to meet up?" I ask him.

"Yeah I'll grab us some beers meet you at the spot." Owen replies.

"Cool see you there in a few," I say and hang up.

I drive over and hike down to what I now consider to be mine and Clare's special spot. Owen arrives a few minutes later and hands me a beer as we sit down by the creek.

"What did you mean at Adam's earlier?" Owen asks me.

"Just that this whole thing like sucks in a way. She's mine or whatever but I have to like share her with this asshole that hurts her all the time. She's afraid to leave him and I get it but when she's not with me or I see a bruise on her all I can think is about that fucker hitting her or raping her. But then she's like with me and I have her all to myself and stuff. I've been like in love with this girl all year and now she's in love with me and it's like heaven dude. Touching her, kissing her and everything I was eating her out when her mom got home tonight." I tell him.

"Nice buddy how's she taste?" Owen asks.

"Awesome, best thing I ever had. I know why she's afraid to leave Jay, why she's afraid to go to the cops and tell her mom but I hate sharing her with him. I hate sharing her at all but especially with that fucking bastard! Every time I like bring it up though she gets all defensive or whatever and I feel like I'm pushing her to Jay instead of pulling her to me you know? Or she gets all like worried that I'm gonna leave and stuff." I say.

"I know she feels guilty about it she told me yesterday when I took her to Adam's." Owen tells me.

"Yeah and she's worried I'm gonna like give up on her but I could never and I've told her so. I mean it fucking sucks to share her with Jay but if that's what's gotta be right now then whatever I'll deal. Every time he hurts her though I just want to fucking kill him!" I state.

"Yeah you're not the only one but she has to decide to leave and she's afraid right now. She's got her job at the Dot and it'll probably get better once school starts, she won't have much time to spend with Jay assuming she's still with him." Owen says.

"God I hope not, schools still two months away." I remark.

"Well Adam and the others know how old he is and after they meet him they're bound to know something's going on. They'll probably pressure her to break up with him too." Owen comments.

"Yeah I just hope she listens and doesn't like start avoiding the people that pressure her to break up with fucker." I say taking the last sip of my beer.

**Update Soon**

**********Two new things have been added to my profile page; #1 responses to guest reviewers that ask questions or post suggestions and #2 a list of all the stories I plan to write. If you have already requested a story from me and it's not on the list please let me know. If you have a new suggestion for a story feel free to submit it but please take note of how long the list is already and know that I do not have endless free time to write, much as i wish that I did.**


	20. I Know I Should Be Glad

**This was supposed to be up last night but the sight was being stupid and the manage stories tab was not working so I couldn't update.**

**Ch. 20 I Know I Should Be Glad **

**(FITZ)**

I pulled up to Clare's house and texted her I was there, I would have gotten out and like rung the bell but it was a little before five in the morning and I was picking her up for work. She came out a minute later and got in the car smiling at me before leaning over to touch her lips to mine.

"Morning Gorgeous, did you leave a like note for your mom? She's going to wonder when she finds you gone so early." I remark as I start driving to the Dot.

"I told her last night I got a job at the Dot, she thought it was great and was very proud of me. She was a little worried when I told her most of my shifts were opening ones but I explained Peter gave me those shifts so that I would be working with you since he knew you would look out for me." She replies.

"Yeah except Peter lets you work whenever you want or whatever so you really don't have to get up so early. You could come in at like nine or something and work with me until I get off." I point out to her.

"No I want to be with you, I don't mind getting up early if I can be with you." She says taking my hand and putting my arm around her.

I smile and kiss her temple, parking behind the Dot, we go around to the front and unlock the door, locking it once we're inside and she's turned on the lights. She goes into the back while I start getting stuff ready to open, she comes back out a few minutes later in a Dot t-shirt holding a broom. She starts to sweep up so I go over and grab the broom from her.

"What are you doing?" I question.

"Sweeping up," she replies blinking at me.

"You're not allowed to like do anything but sit and supervise or whatever, you're hurt." I remind her.

"Mark the bruises are healing I'm getting better I can sweep up." She insists.

"No, you sit here," I tell her picking her up gently by the waist and setting her on the counter, "and supervise. If you work to hard you could get like more hurt."

"This isn't doing work," she argues.

"The boss is like your big brother or whatever and he put me in charge of you so I say you sit there and supervise." I affirm.

She laughs lightly leaning back on her hands and biting her lip, her eyes like sparkle under the lights and she looks like a goddess. A goddess with heavy makeup on one side of her face that you can like see under the harsh lights but she has the makeup on to hide the bruise from that asshole.

"Mark," she says as I'm counting the cash in the cash drawer before putting it in.

"Yes Gorgeous?" I ask looking over at her and I notice she looks like worried or something.

"It's Jay's day off and he'll probably be coming by to pick me up I just don't know when." She tells me. The way she like says it makes me nervous, like tense or whatever like she's hiding something from me. "I know how you feel about him but please promise me you'll behave." She requests.

"Yeah I'll be on my best behavior," I tell her even though all I'm going to want to do is like punch his face in the minute I see him.

I finish opening and unlock the door while she takes her place on the stool in front of the cash register. As always there's a rush until about nine; when Ray comes in at seven though Clare and me go on break. I grab us some breakfast and we go back to the break room to eat. We sit on the bench facing each other with our plates and coffee between us. Once we're both done eating but still have our coffee she gets rid of the plates and leans against me, putting my arm around her. I love that she like loves to be in my arms, no girl has ever wanted to be in my arms so much, like felt so much comfort in it you know.

I hold her close as we sip our coffee and enjoy our last few minutes of break but eventually we have to go back out. We toss our coffee cups and before we leave the break room she stops me standing on her tiptoes to put her lips on mine. She tastes like coffee and vanilla, she smells like strawberries which is probably like her shampoo or whatever but she's still like perfect. She resumes her spot on the stool and we get back to work, there's another small rush and then it's pretty slow so Ray goes on break.

Ray comes back and we go on our lunch just after nine when the rush dies down, neither of us is very hungry but we grab a couple drinks and go out to my car to get one of the books to study with. Going upstairs to the club we sit on the stage while she helps me study. She seems slightly worried or like distracted but every time I bring it up she changes the subject so I drop it. When we get back downstairs there's a small rush of kids that just woke up and are coming in for their caffeine fix. When the rush stops and the café empties Ray goes on lunch, since we're alone I go over to her stool putting my hands at her lower back and crushing our lips together.

"Mark stop, Jay could be here any minute and if he finds us kissing he'll kill us both." She scolds pulling away from the kiss.

I growl a little but step away from her just as Owen comes in. "Hey Owen, you want the usual?" I ask him.

"Yeah and a dozen donuts," Owen says.

Clare rings him up and Owen pays, then Clare gasps a little and we both look over at her.

"Jay's coming in both of you behave," she warns us.

"Why?" Owen shrugs, curling his mouth a little and I know he's pissed off.

She glowers at him just as Jay walks through the door, he smiles at Clare and we watch him carefully.

"Hey Babe you ready to go?" Jay asks her then looks at me. "You don't mind if I take my girl a little early do you? We have some stuff to do; she'll be back at work tomorrow." Jay says in this like overly nice voice.

"No that's cool, see you tomorrow Clare." I reply trying not to show that all I want to do is kill him.

Owen just stands there silently glaring at Jay and standing tall with his arms crossed to make himself look menacing.

"I just need to get my stuff from the back," Clare says sliding off the stool.

There's this like tense minute where the three of us are left alone in this like silence and we're just looking at each other, each of us trying to look more threatening than the other. Just when Owen and me are about ready to throw punches Clare comes out from the back and we all relax. She waves to us and walks out with Jay's arm around her shoulders.

"You handled that surprising well," Owen remarks as I punch the counter, "whoa don't break your hand. What was that all about anyway?" Owen questions.

"I don't know she told me it was his day off and he was going to come get her or whatever but she didn't say what they were going to do." I inform him.

"You're off in a couple of hours right? You gonna come over to Drew's place? I bet Clare will come over and if she doesn't it will at least distract you." Owen suggests.

"Yeah sure," I nod handing him his donuts.

Owen leaves and the café remains relatively dead until Ray comes back from his lunch and we get a lunch time rush. I don't take my second break mostly just so I'll like keep busy and not think about Clare doing god knows what with that asshole. When I'm off I head for the Torres house, I have to admit I'm a little worried that I haven't heard from Clare yet.

"Hey Fitz," everyone says almost in unison.

"Hey guys, how's the arm Adam?" I ask sitting down between Owen and B.

There's only a few people there today, Drew and Eli of course plus Katie, Owen, B and Dave.

"Getting better but I'm not looking forward to physio. Where's Clare?" Adam asks.

"Out with Jay, I assume she'll be coming here when she's done but you can never be too sure when he's involved." I reply.

"I get the feeling you don't like him very much." Eli remarks.

"I just think he's too old for her, it's like creepy you know?" I want to tell them he hits her and I hate him with a fiery passion but she told us not to so I won't because I know that like she'll tell them when she's ready.

"Yeah I heard he's like seven years older than her, and I always thought Clare was the level headed one." Dave comments.

We sit silently watching this horror movie while B is doing some work for Drew and Adam's dad as part of her deal for turning in Vince and his gang. Speaking of like keeping things a secret I wish that B had told me and Owen about Vince that he was like using her and hurting her because we would have done something. When the movie ends everyone says they're hungry and so Owen and I go out to pick up some pizzas for everyone. When we get back B is gone.

"Clare came she left with Bianca though said she needed to talk to her." Drew tells us as he helps in with the pizzas.

"About what?" I ask.

"I don't know but she seemed kind of agitated." Drew tells me.

So while everyone starts digging into the pizzas I text Clare.

**Fitz: Where are you? Is everything ok?**

**Clare: Talking to Bianca about girl stuff we'll be back soon and I'll help you study some more.**

She doesn't exactly say things are okay but she's with B so I know she's safe at least. I sigh as I sit down and take a couple slices of pizza.

**(CLARE)**

"We should tell your parents and mine," Jay says as we leave the doctor's office.

He takes me by the waist and lifts me onto the hood of the car before crushing his lips to mine. He's kissing me hard with lots of fervor; I've never felt him so happy through a kiss.

"I know your happy about this Jay," I say when he takes his lips away, "and I am too," I add quickly even though I'm not at all in fact I'm petrified but I don't want Jay to get angry. "But I'm not sure telling everyone right away is the best idea. I mean my mom's all stressed right now about getting the wedding together and telling my dad he's going to be a grandpa when my mom's getting ready to be remarried before him is probably not a good idea. Maybe we should wait until after my mom gets married, she'll be all happy as a new bride and she'll take the news much better. I won't even be two months at that point so I won't be showing yet."

Jay looks thoughtful for a minute then smiles and kisses me again. "You're right Babe; I love how smart you are. Okay we'll wait and keep it secret until after your mom's wedding. Come on you need to eat, let's go get some lunch." Jay says helping me down from the car.

"Adam and my other friends found out about our age difference and they want to meet you." I venture after we've been driving a few minutes.

"Sure why not I met your other friends," Jay shrugs.

"Great I'll set something up; can you drop me at Adam's after lunch?" I ask.

"Sure Babe, are we going to tell them?" Jay asks as we pull into the parking lot of a Thai restaurant.

"No not at first, we'll tell my friends after we tell my parents." I reply.

We go into the restaurant and are shown to a table, Jay starts talking about looking for another apartment and getting married. I just sit silently eating making sure to nod and smile at the right times. After lunch Jay drives me to Adam's parking out front this time since they all know about his age now. I kiss him goodbye waving to him as he drives off, Fitz's car is out front but when I go to the basement door I don't see him.

"Hey Adam, everyone." I say going through the basement door.

"Hey Clare about this older guy your dating," Dave remarks and I shoot him a look.

"Hey Clare Fitz and Owen went to get pizza for lunch." Adam says.

"What did you do with your pedophile boyfriend?" Eli asks.

"Eli! We had lunch and just spent time together because it was his day off. Uh Bianca can I talk with you somewhere else please?" I request.

Everyone is giving me a curious look now but Drew also looks concerned.

"Why can't you talk here?" Adam inquires.

"Because it's girl talk and I need Bianca, we'll be back later." I insist.

"Yeah sure, we'll be back in a bit guys." Bianca says. We go out to her car and she starts driving. "So where should we go?" Bianca asks.

"I don't know can we just go to the spot Mark always takes me near the ravine?" I request.

"Yeah I'm going to hit a drive thru though I haven't eaten yet." Bianca says.

She does just that and we park at the school then hike down to the secret spot. Bianca sits against the rock and starts eating while I begin pacing.

"So what did the bastard do this time? Did he hit you again?" Bianca questions when I've been pacing a few minutes.

"No he hasn't hit me," I tell her while I continue pacing.

"Then what's up?" She questions as my phone alerts me to a text.

It's Fitz asking if everything is okay and I text him back telling him I'm with Bianca and we'll be back at Adam's soon.

"He's happy and I'm scared, Mark is going to hate me he's going to leave me I'm sure of it. I'm already stringing him along, he's…" I'm rattling on when Bianca stops me.

"Clare shut up slow down and start making sense," Bianca says in a firm voice.

"I'm pregnant," I confess to her.

Bianca starts choking on the bite of food she just took and looks at me totally shocked, after taking a few sips of her drink and a couple deep breaths so she can breathe again she speaks.

"You're what?! I thought you were on birth control? Is the baby Jay's?" She asks in almost one breath.

"Yes the baby is Jay's I've only had sex with Jay and I was on birth control but he told me to stop using it. He said it could hurt me and told me to stop using it, he told me he was using condoms so I didn't need it but he lied to me. He hasn't used condoms in a long time, he planned this Bianca he wanted me to get pregnant, he couldn't be happier about it." I tell her sinking down onto the swing.

"You're fucking joking! He wanted you to get pregnant? Why the hell would he want you to get pregnant?" Bianca inquires.

"Because he knows my parents won't let me abort, that I wouldn't anyway and he knows they'll give consent for us to get married. I've convinced him not to tell anyone until after my mom gets married but I don't know what to do. I can't tell Mark he'll hate me or kill Jay or both; he certainly won't stay with me. I know it isn't fair of me to drag him along though." I confess to her as a few tears begin to trickle down my cheeks.

"He'll want to kill Jay but I really don't think he'll hate you. You can't marry Jay you realize that don't you? Things will just get worse, his abuse it will just get worse." Bianca says finishing her lunch and coming over to me.

"He promised it wouldn't, he promised he'd never hurt the baby and he wouldn't hurt me as long as I didn't make him angry." I tell her through the tears.

"Clare you don't really believe that do you?" Bianca questions.

"I want to, what choice do I have? As soon as my parents know I'm pregnant my mom will want us to get married." I respond.

"So tell her he hits you!" Bianca exclaims.

"I can't," I shake my head.

"Clare…" Bianca starts but I cut her off.

"No even if he gets arrested he'll get out on bail and then he'll really be angry then what do think he'll do?! You can't tell anyone please Bianca, no one else is supposed to know but I had to tell someone. Mark, Owen and Drew will probably go ballistic even if they don't hate me. Please Bianca don't say anything." I plead with her.

"Okay I'll keep my mouth shut for now but at some point they're going to know you're pregnant." She says.

"I know, I'll tell everyone after I tell my parents. We'll be announcing a wedding and a pregnancy and I'm likely to give most of my friends a heart attack." I lament.

"I still think you should talk to Fitz." Bianca tells me.

"I can't not yet, we should get back though just remember don't tell them." I say as we start walking back to the car. "Jay's willing to meet them; they should know him first before I shock them into an early grave."

We make it back to Bianca's car and she tosses her trash before we get in and she starts driving back to Adam's. I borrow some makeup from her to cover the bruise on my face since of the makeup came off while crying.

"Everything okay?" Fitz asks when we get back.

Bianca looks at me before answering. "Yeah everything's fine just some girl talk."

Fitz is sitting on the end of the sofa so I sit next to him; we stay for another hour watching a movie with everyone. When the movie ends we say goodbye to the others and leave so I can help Fitz study.

"Where do you want to go?" Fitz asks when we get into his car.

"How about your place? We have a couple of hours before I have to be home for dinner." I respond.

"So what did you and Jay do on his day off?" Fitz asks.

"Just had lunch and stuff nothing bad." I tell him.

"Are you sure because Adam said you came over and then left with Bianca wanting to talk to her alone?" Fitz questions.

"Nothing happened Mark we went to lunch and ran a couple of errands that's all then I asked him to drop me at Adam's." I reply taking on a defensive tone but I can't help it.

"If that's it then why are you getting so defensive?" Fitz asks back.

"Because you're interrogating me, you automatically assume the worst anytime I'm with Jay. I'm not saying he's an angel or anything but he doesn't hurt me every time I'm with him." I shoot back.

"I know but I'm worried and I hate knowing that you were with him." He replies.

"I know," I say and bite my lip.

The rest of the drive is silent while I look out the window. When he parks at his apartment building we get out and go the elevators, the doors close and I turn to Fitz taking his hands putting my lips on his.

"I love you Mark," I remind him when I take my lips away.

"I know I love you too which is why it hurts so much to see you with him." Fitz replies. We walk to his apartment holding hands, he unlocks the door, we go in and he locks the door behind us. "I forgot to get the books from the car." Fitz says trying to leave but I keep hold of his hand.

Pulling him back to me I put my lips on his again, softly at first but I quickly add pressure and desire into the kiss. My hand goes behind his neck, my tangerine nails raking up into his spiky locks. I'm going on instinct, emotion and pure carnal desire to feel him. With my other hand I grip his shirt to pull it over his head and he lets me slip it off. His hands grip me firmly yet gently by the waist and he lifts me up, my legs instinctively go around his waist as he carries me to the bed lying me down. I can feel that he's already hard and turned on because his erection is bulging in his jeans.

Gripping the bottom of my shirt he pulls up to get it off me, his lips coming off mine for just a second as he pulls it over my head. His lips attach to mine again as soon as the shirts gone and I slide my tongue between my lips and into his mouth. Moving me on my side so he can unhook my bra he remains with his lips on mine. My bra is quickly discarded and one of his hands finds my breast and squeezes softly, I moan into the kiss while finding the fly of his jeans and undoing the button. I manage to unzip them as well but can't pull them off of him while remaining in the kiss.

Pulling away from my lips he disrobes himself of everything but his boxers before taking off my shoes and jeans. The two of us nearly naked now he gets back on the bed and on top of me. Supporting himself on one arm so as not to put too much weight on me his free hand grazes over my bare flesh leaving goose bumps in it's wake and making my body quiver in an unequivocal desire to feel his skin against mine. He smiles at me before gently placing his lips along my bruises so feathery soft that I moan whilst biting my lip because I yearn to feel so much more of him.

His tender lips make a trail from my ugly bruised flesh to the soft mounds of my breasts. Encircling one nipple he takes it into his mouth gently sucking and licking, my hands rake through his hair as my breath hitches and my back arches. His tongue leaves my nipple licking across to the other and doing the same, one of my hands leaves his locks, my fingers trialing down his skin to his muscled abs and finding their way under his boxers. I feel his stomach tighten as my fingers inch their way in. From this position I can only get so far so taking my hand back out I grasp the bottom of one of his boxer legs and yank.

"I'll grab a condom," he says taking his lips from my breast.

"No need birth control," I tell him. I'm pregnant already can't exactly get pregnant again.

Fitz smiles taking his boxers all the way off and kicking them across the small apartment. Then hooking his fingers into my panties he slowly pulls them from my body. Once they're off he tosses them across the room as well and spreads my legs getting between them, his fingers caress my pussy lips for a second before his head goes down and his tongue laps at me. My back arches, my head lulling back an erotic moan emits from my lips as both my hands clutch at his hair to keep him in place. His tongue licks around a bit, tasting my juices and making me very wet then he puts his head up and licks his lips.

He looks at me silently asking for permission, I bite my lip and nod putting my hands on his lower back. Grasping his hard and erect dick at the base he teases my pussy with the head for a few seconds before slowly entering. Both his hands come down at my sides to keep his weight off me as he pushes in. His soft brown eyes locking with my baby blues and we smile together. He goes so very slow, so very careful and gentle; my hands touch his chest feeling the warmth of his skin. Slowly pushing in a little farther my eyes go half lidded as my head rolls back a bit, my teeth pinching my lip between them as a soft moan comes from the back of my throat.

A little farther he goes in, so tenderly that I'm already quivering in euphoric pleasure. My fingers tracing his muscles back to his shoulders grip tightly as he finally enters me entirely. My back arching all the way to meet him, to feel as much of him as possible, my eyes open again to find his. He smiles at me affixing his lips to mine in a passionately heated kiss, his hands tracing my curves as he supports his weight on his arms. For a moment we just kiss with him inside of me all the way and then he slowly begins pulling out. Making love to Fitz is such a completely different feeling than having sex with Jay. Fitz is so gentle and loving, so tender that each little touch is a new wave of pleasure.

When he's out to the head he begins slowly thrusting back in moving a little faster this time but still so gentle. Pulling out a little faster still his lips leave mine to kiss along my neck, jaw and collar bone. My body is tingling, there's a fire in my belly and between my legs. My hips start bucking, moving with him so that I feel every inch of him every place inside me. His pace picks up rapidly but as fast as he's going he's still so gentle. My heart is pounding, my breathing hard and erratic, my body beaded in sweat, my breasts bouncing and shaking with each thrust. Fitz is watching them now, watching me, my eyes remain half lidded most of the time but when they do manage to open I see him smiling with such ecstasy I have to smile too. I feel myself closing in on climax, my thighs tighten around him, my moans become one long succession of his name. His pace picks up even more and I know he's close too.

"MmmMaaaark! Ohhhhh god! Nggnnnnnn!" I scream into the apartment.

"Ohhhh Cllllllaaaaaarrrrre! Oh Fuck!" Fitz calls out seconds after me as we both orgasm.

He slows down to a near stop before pulling out and lying down next to me. Both of us breathless and sweating he puts his arms around me pulling me to him and holding me close. I can feel his heart pounding with mine, our sweating skin sticking together. He kisses my forehead and smiles at me both of us trying to breathe normally once more.

"I love you Mark," I tell him when I'm no longer panting and out of breath.

"I love you Clare," he smiles taking my lips with his.

We lie together for a while, neither of us wanting to leave the other, at least until my phone rings. I sigh heavily leaving Fitz's arms to retrieve my purse and phone, Fitz gets up saying he'll get us some water as I do this.

"It's Jay be silent," I warn him.

He gives me a displeased look as he stands naked in the kitchen after we just made love and I'm about to talk with my boyfriend.

"Hi Jay," I say into the phone forcing a smile on my lips.

"Hey Babe you done at Adam's? You want to spend the night?" Jay asks.

"I can't my mom just got home yesterday I need to be home for a couple of nights besides I have work in the morning." I remind him.

"Okay I have work tomorrow too I'll call you tomorrow. I love you Babe." Jay says.

"I love you too," I reply and hang up. Fitz is giving me a look when I get off and I know exactly what's it's for. "Don't give me that look Mark I do love him just not the way I love you and anyway if I didn't say it he would have gotten mad."

He comes over handing me a bottle of water. "Yeah I know I just hate hearing you say it. Especially right after we make love for the first time." Fitz comments.

"I know," I sigh and then kiss him softly.

"I have tomorrow off so actually you don't have work tomorrow." Fitz tells me.

"Oh well Jay doesn't need to know that." I shrug and Fitz smiles.

"So you want to sleep here then?" Fitz asks.

"Sure I guess, let me just call my mom." I tell him.

I call Mom and tell her I'm sleeping at Adam's, while I'm talking to Mom someone calls Fitz and he looks at me.

"Hey Owen's on the phone he wants to know if we want to get dinner?" Fitz says when I hang up with Mom.

"Yeah sounds good, we just need to get some clothes on." I reply.

"We'll meet you there we just need to get dressed again." Fitz says into the phone to Owen.

"Mark!" I admonish him. He hangs up with Owen and smirks at me, we get dressed again and I go into the washroom to fix my hair. "Maybe we shouldn't go out; you can see the bruise on my face." I say as I look in the mirror.

"Owen already knows about the bruise and if anyone else stares at you we'll make them back off." Fitz assures me.

After fixing my hair we go out to his car and drive to the restaurant. Owen is already there and we go in sitting at the table, the waiter comes over to take our drink order.

"So what were you two doing this evening?" Owen smirks when the waiter leaves.

"Dude shut up I know by the smile on your face you know exactly what we were doing." Fitz says as I blush.

"So what were you talking to Bianca about earlier Clare?" Owen asks.

"Girl stuff like we told you," I respond.

"Yeah fine don't tell me then," Owen says pretending to be hurt, he's over exaggerating his facial expressions and it makes me laugh.

Another waiter comes over with our drinks and they look at the giant bruise on my face. He stops when Owen and Fitz glare at him though. After a nice dinner with Owen we go back to Fitz's place since both of us were up super early we're both ready to sleep. I borrow one of Fitz's shirts to sleep in and fall asleep happily in his arms.

**Update Soon**

**And don't freak out there is a reason for her preganancy**


	21. I Want to be Where You Are

**I know this is late last week was sooo busy but updates are back on schedule except for Secret Romance will not be updated tomorrow because I work all day then come home just in time to watch the grad episode and then I'll probably be ranting about it to tomfeltonlover1991. However Secret Romance will be updated on Saturday.**

**Ch. 21 I Want to be Where You Are**

**(FITZ)**

Clare started thrashing in my arms and woke me up, my eyes shooting open, my arms like instinctively holding her tighter. She was whimpering, crying and begging someone to stop. She was having a nightmare obviously about Jay of course even though she wasn't saying his name it wasn't too hard to deduce or whatever.

"Clare it's okay I've got you, he isn't here it's just me." I tell her in a loud but soft voice.

She's still thrashing so I kiss her forehead, she gasps, her eyes open, she looks at my face in the dim light of the apartment and then she like breaks into a flood of tears. Her forehead and hands are resting against my chest, she's sobbing so hard or whatever that her body is shaking and I hold her tighter. Her fingers like try to grip at my bare chest as I start rubbing her back and try to soothe her but she continues sobbing for several minutes.

"He's not going to touch you, not here, not ever again if I can help it." I assure her.

"If he finds out about you, about us he'll kill us both." She sobs.

Nothing I can say to her is going to make her feel better, if I tell her to break up with him she's going to tell me that'll make things worse. If I tell her to go to the cops she'll tell me that'll only make Jay angry. So I don't say anything simply tip her chin up to look at me and place my lips on hers kissing her softly. Her lips take mine deepening the kiss, her lips are salty from her tears but she parts them and her tongue is sweet.

"We'll get through this together," I assure her. "We have the day off can you get back to sleep?" I ask her.

She looks at the clock on the nightstand and sighs with slight annoyance resting her head on my chest again.

"No, I'm wide awake now you can go back to sleep." She tells me.

"I'm not leaving you, not even to go back to sleep while you lie awake and worry about Jay or whatever." I tell her.

"I'm sorry it's our day off and I still woke us up at 3:30." She apologizes softly into my chest.

"I don't care, I'm with you everything is great. Come on let's take a shower and I'll make us some breakfast." I insist getting off the bed and pulling her up with me. We go into the washroom, I turn on the light and we both squint, the harsh light hurting our eyes when contrasted with the dark apartment. "Hang on I have better idea," I say turning out the light again and leaving her in the washroom.

Going to the everything drawer in the kitchen I grab a lighter and two large round candles. I have to like feel around in the drawer to find them in the dark but I do. Returning to the washroom I set one candle on the back of the toilet and one on the sink then light them both. The washroom is pretty small so the two candles light it pretty well, well enough that we can see but the light is soft and doesn't hurt our eyes or whatever. When I set the lighter down Clare snakes her arms around my neck and catches my lips. Her lips part right away allowing my tongue in, she stands on her tiptoes and presses herself to me, my shirt currently covering her body lifts up a little.

"I love you Mark," she says softly when her lips leave mine.

"I love you Clare," I smile letting go of her just enough to turn on the water so it can start getting warm.

Pulling my shirt over her head I drop it to the floor and marvel at this goddess bathed in candlelight in front of me. She takes off her panties kicking them away and bites her lip shyly. The washroom begins to fill with steam so I take off my boxers, check the temperature of the water and step in taking Clare's hand and helping her in after me. After wetting my hair I switch places with her so she can do the same and hand her the shampoo when I'm done with it.

"We should probably get you shampoo and stuff to keep here." I remark after rinsing the shampoo out of my hair and while watching her do the same.

"Probably and I should keep clothes here. When I don't have to be at Jay's to keep him happy I want to be here and during the summer Mom should be okay with it. Well I won't tell her I'm sleeping here of course but Adam's or Jenna's maybe even Bianca's." Clare replies.

I smile actually I probably like grin really stupidly but I'm just so amazed she wants to spend time with me, that she wants to be here in my crappy apartment because I'm here. We finish showering and I manage to keep my hands off of her, mostly, but she doesn't seem to mind when I do touch her. Not having any other clothes here she dresses in the same clothes as yesterday and I put on clean boxers and a pair of jeans. I give her the remote to find something on TV and I go to the kitchen and start making us pancakes for breakfast.

"So what would you like to do today gorgeous?" I ask her as I hand her a plate of pancakes and cup of coffee.

"I should help you study; we didn't get much done yesterday or this weekend." She replies as I return to the kitchen to get my own pancakes and coffee.

"Okay we'll study but we take breaks and during lunch we'll go to Adam's so you can visit him and your other friends." I tell her as I sit on the bed with her.

She smiles then kisses me on the cheek, her lips are sticky with maple syrup but I don't care. We eat in silence and watch TV for a while longer as I hold her on the bed. She doesn't talk about her nightmare and I don't want to bring it up. When the sun begins to come up we decide it's time to study and I grab a book handing it to her. Grabbing some pillows I lie at the end of the bed with my feet at the head so I can't see the book and she starts reading to me. I try and concentrate, I really do try and listen as she talks about chemistry but I'm too like mesmerized by how her mouth forms words, how beautifully her lips and tongue roll and curve around each word or whatever. Watching her mouth leads me to think of other things and my hand, completely by like it's self I swear, starts caressing her leg. My fingers slowly make their way up her leg and I sit up so I can go farther making their way to the inner thigh of her jeans and she giggles.

"Mark pay attention!" She scolds me.

"I'm trying but how can I be expected to concentrate when I have a goddess sitting before me looking so hot and sexy." I argue.

"If you can't concentrate with me helping you I can always call Owen and Drew to have them come over and help you study. I'd say Bianca but you'd probably be distracted by her sexiness too." Clare says.

"Bianca's hot but not nearly as hot as you, besides I've known Bianca forever she's like a sister." I say.

"Okay I'll make you a deal, if you can concentrate and answer ten questions right then we'll spend five minutes making out but you have to get ten questions right." She stipulates.

"Okay deal ask away." I grin getting anxious to have my hands on her.

She asks me 14 questions before I get ten right but the second she tells me I got the tenth one right I pull the book from her hands and drop it to the floor. I pounce on her, catching her lips with mine. My lips working hers with fervor, my mind caught up in her sweet scent I like forget for a moment and press into her a little too hard and she whimpers.

"Ow," she says in a small voice.

"Sorry are you okay?" I ask sitting up and pulling her shirt up to like look at the bruises on her ribs and stomach.

"Fine, they're getting better at least they're not all blue and purple anymore." She says with a small smile.

I don't reply because I don't want to fight and the urge to like kill Jay is almost overwhelming, so I decide to distract myself and very gently begin kissing her bruises. Her nails begin raking through my hair, after kissing the bruises on her ribs I kiss the one's on her tummy while I start fidgeting with the button on her jeans.

"Mark you need study," she giggles.

"I'd rather study you; can't we switch to like biology or whatever so I can study the human body?" I request.

"Anatomy Mark and it's not on the test," she tells me.

"Lets study it anyway," I insists kissing her stomach again.

"Mark you have to study and I'm not on the test," she scolds me.

"But I have like a month, Simpson said I had to take it by August 15th or whatever and it's only the end of June." I say in a slightly whining tone.

"Mark concentrate okay if you can answer five questions right in a row then I'll take off a piece of clothing. If you get twenty questions right in a row I'll be naked and then we'll take a break to make love." She entices me.

"Okay I'll pay attention but I will get you naked," I tell her and she giggles.

I get the first five answers right and her shirt comes off but then I miss two before getting another five right and her jeans come off. She's like practically naked now and I want to just give up and kiss her and touch her or whatever but she keeps kicking my hand away. I have to like close my eyes to not see her or whatever or I won't be able to think. I get the next five right and I hear her take her bra off but I don't open my eyes because if I like look I'll want to touch. I still lose my concentration because she asks me a bunch more questions before I get five more in a row right but when I do I open my eyes and watch her panties come off.

I smile at her, my eyes going over her curves as I stand up to get my jeans and boxers off. Getting between her legs she puts her arms around my neck and our lips meet as my hand grazes up her thigh. I can already like feel the warmth of her body heating my hand, her soft pussy lips open at my command and I slide my finger in. She exhales into the kiss, arching her back and tightening her arms around me as I use my fingers to open her a little so I don't hurt her. Her eyes open and lock with mine as I withdraw my fingers; she's only empty for a second before I slowly thrust into her. She breaks from the kiss to moan and bite her lip, her back arching even farther. I support my weight on my hands so I'm careful not to like hurt her at all or even like brush over one of her bruises.

God she feels like so amazing, like soft everywhere and so touchable or whatever. After a couple of minutes of slow thrusting I speed up just a little. I'm afraid to hurt her, to hurt her at all because Jay hurts her so much and I'm afraid to cause her any more pain even if it's unintentional. Her hips start moving, matching my rhythm and going even faster so I know she wants me to move faster. I speed up a little and she moans, her body trembling a bit. My lips desiring to kiss her steamy flesh and I begin kissing her neck, jaw, chest and breasts. Her hands clutch at my back, her eyes are half lidded but every so often she opens them to look in mine. Her thighs clench, her insides tighten around me and I know she's ready and so am I.

"Mmmmark! Ohhhhh!" She screams into the apartment.

"Fuuuuuuck Clare mmmmmmm Claaaaaaaaaare!"

Slowing down until we're both done I pull out of her slowly and she whimpers. I lie next to her, taking her in my arms and kissing her cheeks as we both pant and shake gently.

"That was a fun study break," I grin getting up to get us some water after several minutes.

"Yeah well as soon as I can sit up it's back to studying," she tells me as I grab two water bottles from the fridge.

"God you're a slave driver," I tease her as I sit on the bed again, "but I love you." I smile pressing my lips to hers.

"I love you too Mark," she smiles taking her water bottle and a big sip. "Now please find me my clothes so we can get back to studying." She commands.

I grumble a little about her covering up again but hand her clothes to her and help her get dressed anyway. I get my boxers and jeans back on, lying on the bed in the opposite direction of her and she starts reading again.

"So what do I get on my next study break?" I ask after she asks me a question.

She responds to this by throwing a pillow at me, which I catch put behind her again so she's comfortable and take her lips once more.

**(CLARE)  
**

After covering the bruise on my face with makeup I went back to my room where Fitz was waiting. I'd helped him study for another three hours with a few more study breaks but no more sexy time. When it was nearing lunch time Fitz said we should go to Adam's so that I could see him and visit. Of course I wanted to see Adam and my other friends but I told Fitz we had to stop at my house so I could change and cover any visible bruises with makeup.

"There's a duffel bag in the hall closet can you grab it for me?" I ask Fitz when I get into my bedroom again.

"You trying to run away from me or something?" Fitz teases as he gets up from my bed.

I twist my mouth at him for this remark. "I'm trying to run to you, I want to pack some clothes and stuff to keep at your place." I tell him.

"So you're moving in then even better," Fitz grins cupping my chin and kissing me gently.

He goes to the closet and gets down the duffel bag putting it on my bed for me. I put in several pairs of panties, a bra, a few pairs of socks, a pair of jeans, 3 pairs of shorts, two skirts, two dresses and several tops. I don't put in pajamas because I like wearing Fitz's shirts but I do put in one pair of sneakers and one pair of nicer shoes so I'll be prepared for anything. I can get work t-shirts from work so I don't have to worry about that. The last thing I do is go into the washroom; mom stockpiles toiletries when they're on sale so I grab a few to keep at Fitz's place putting them all in the duffel. Fitz zips it up for me and carries it out to his car placing it in the backseat. We get in and he starts driving to Adam's while I check my makeup in the mirror.

"You can't see them stop worrying," Fitz assures me.

"Sorry I'm just paranoid now." I tell him.

"Gee I wonder why?" Fitz says sarcastically and I shoot him a look.

He takes my hand and kisses it, holding it the rest of the way to Adam's. When we get to the basement door we see that it's a full house today. The Torres basement was always a good place to hang out but since Adam got shot it's become the summer hang out for anyone that's even remotely friends with Adam. Fitz opens the door and we go in, everyone looking over and greeting us. Owen and Drew are sitting on one end of the sofa and Fitz sits with them. I hug Adam and sit down next to him, Eli getting up so I can do so. After a short time of sitting silently while listening to several conversations Bianca motions for me to follow her so I get up and follow her to the corner near the stairs, we stand with our backs to the others.

"How are you feeling?" Bianca asks me in nearly a whisper.

I'm betting she's referring to the fact that I'm pregnant as she's the only one that knows besides Jay. "Fine, I haven't been nauseous or anything at any time of day." I reply very quietly.

"You're sure? I mean tests can be wrong." She says.

"We went to the clinic they did a blood test and I just know. I'm not happy about it but I know." I respond.

"So how long are you going to keep it from Fitz and the guys?" Bianca questions.

"As long as I can, they're going to go ballistic when they find out. Mark will probably leave me but even if he doesn't I won't be able to stay with him. Jay and I will have to get married, move in together." I'm telling Bianca and the thought of these things makes me shudder. "Problem is I'm in too deep with Mark to ever leave him, I love him Bianca. We made love for the first time last night and it was amazing and nothing like Jay. I'm in love with him and I'm going to have to break his heart. I should have ended it before it ever began." I lament.

Bianca opens her mouth to respond but before she can an arm goes around each of our shoulders and Owen sticks his head between ours to burp.

"Oh gross! God no wonder you don't have a girlfriend." Bianca chides shoving him playfully.

"Hey you dated me," he tells her.

"Yeah in third grade I've gotten better taste since then," Bianca smirks.

Owen looks wounded at this remark although I'm certain he's faking I still kiss his cheek.

"I'd date you Owen, if I weren't already taken," I tell him, "twice," I add under my breath so that only he and Bianca hear me.

Owen smiles and picks me up making me shriek a little and instinctively putting my arms around his neck.

"We're going to eat; you two, Fitz and Drew are riding with me." Owen informs us.

He carries me out to his car; I sit in back between Fitz and Drew. Owen drives us to Little Miss Steaks where we're all eating lunch apparently and we get out. Imogen pulls in behind us and she, Fiona, Eli and Adam get out of her car. Then Dave's car pulls up in his car is everyone else that was at the house including of course Dave, Jenna, Wes and Connor. The group of us go into the restaurant K.C. tells us to pull some tables together and he'll be right over. Owen, Drew and Fitz pull together four tables in the back and put chairs around it. I sit between Owen and Fitz and across from Adam, when we're all seated K.C. comes to take our order.

"So when do we get to meet Jay?" Eli inquires after K.C. has taken our orders.

"I don't know Eli he said he'd meet you guys. We'll have to meet for lunch or maybe dinner this weekend. I'll call him when he's off work." I reply feeling Fitz stiffen next to me and I take his hand under the table rubbing the back of it with my thumb.

"She wants you guys to meet somewhere public so you won't make a scene at his age difference." Owen says.

"Being in public has never stopped Eli from making a scene." Adam snickers and Eli glares at him.

"So Fitz how's studying coming you going to be wearing a horrible uniform like the rest of us come fall or what?" Bianca asks changing the subject.

"I think so, got six more weeks to study and pass this equivalency test so I think I'll be okay but ask my tutor." Fitz says looking at me.

"He'll pass he's doing really well, he got eighty percent of his answers right today." I tell them.

"Good DeGrassi just wasn't the same without you." Owen remarks.

Our food is brought out and everyone starts eating, there are small conversations while eating about plans for the rest of summer and stuff like that. When we're done eating Fiona and Imogen say they have to get home. So do Wes, Connor and Jenna so they go in Imogen's car and Dave takes Eli and Adam back to the Torres house, the rest of us ride in Owen's car again and when we get back to Adam's Katie is there in her car. Drew gets out to greet her and Bianca huffs in annoyance.

"I'm out of here, tell me when the others are meeting Jay because that I need to be there and call me if you need to talk." Bianca says getting out of the car.

"I will," I reply.

I hug her goodbye and she kisses me on the cheek then she waves to us as she starts walking to her car.

"Hey where's my kiss?" Owen yells after her.

"Fitz can kiss you," Bianca smirks getting into her car.

"You want to go back and study?" I ask Fitz.

"To my apartment, are you going to get naked again if I get questions right again?" Fitz asks.

"Naked studying sounds like fun," Owen remarks raising an eyebrow at us.

"Why don't we go to our spot and Owen can come to make sure you behave." I reply.

"Works for me, I'll follow you guys down there and we can stop to get cold drinks and ice cream on the way." Owen says. "HEY WE'RE TAKING OFF!" Owen yells loud enough that I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard him.

Drew and Katie stop arguing long enough to wave to us, Eli and Dave wave to us and I run over and hug Adam. We stop at the drug store for a pint of ice cream, water and sodas before driving to the school to park. Fitz gets the blanket out of his car and we hike down, setting the blanket by the large rock, Fitz leans against the rock, I lean against him and Owen lounges on his side at our feet. He opens the ice cream and hands us each a spoon, the mint chocolate chip ice cream is very refreshing on this hot day. After the three of us eat the entire pint of ice cream, the guys eat most of it, Owen and I take turns asking Fitz questions from the book. After a couple of questions I realize Fitz is reading over my shoulder so I move and use Owen's legs as a pillow so Fitz can't read over my shoulder. After a couple of hours and Fitz having answered most of the questions right my phone rings and I sit up pulling my phone from my purse.

"It's Jay be quiet you two." I warn them before answering. "Hi Jay."

"Hey Babe, I'm off work and I'm coming to get you to take you out to dinner." Jay tells me.

"Sounds great but I'm not at home," I reply slowly.

Fitz and Owen make a face and I shoot them a look.

"Well where are you?" Jay asks.

"Umm you can pick me up at the Dot in fifteen minutes." I tell him.

Both Owen and Fitz make the same face when I tell Jay to pick me up. It's an angry, slightly murderous look and I take Fitz's hand to try and calm him down again. It doesn't work.

"Okay see you in a few minutes." Jay says and hangs up.

"I have to go," I tell them standing up slowly and grabbing my purse.

"We'll take you," Fitz says standing up as well.

"No it's best if Jay doesn't see me with you when we're not at work." I reply but Owen stands up too and they start cleaning up.

"We're going to hike out with you and make sure you make it to the Dot." Owen tells me.

I don't argue, I don't think it's a good idea but I don't argue because I know that between the two of them I have no hope of winning. The guys pick up all the stuff and we hike back out to the cars, they insist that Fitz drive me to the Dot and park out back then I can go in through the back. I say goodbye to Owen in the school parking lot and give him a hug. Fitz drives me to the Dot parking out back and when I'm very sure that no one is watching I give him a quick kiss goodbye.

"Call or text me later so I know you're okay and let me know where to pick you up for work in the morning." Fitz says and he sounds extremely unhappy and hurt, it breaks my heart that I'm doing this to him.

"I will, I love you Mark." I remind him then get out of the car going in through the back door.

I walk straight through the café getting a look from Ray and Laura as I appear behind the counter and walk out. Sitting at an outside table I wait for Jay, his car pulls up a moment later and I get in. He crushes his lips to mine for a hard hello kiss, then he starts driving again as I buckle up.

"What were you doing out in this heat?" Jay questions.

"Just out for a walk, needed some exercise." I lie.

"You shouldn't be walking in the heat Babe; it's not good for you or the baby." Jay says placing his hand on my stomach and I get a lump in my throat.

"Sorry, I won't walk anymore." I reply.

Jay drives us to the mall and I get out, I should ask him what we're doing at the mall but I'm afraid to. He puts his arm around me and we walk into the steakhouse, one of the two actual restaurants at the mall. We're seated and we order, Jay orders beer with dinner and keeps his arm around me.

"You gonna spend the night tonight?" Jay asks.

"Mom wants me home for a few nights since she was gone all last week, maybe this weekend." I tell him.

"You better this weekend I miss you," Jay says before kissing me again.

"My friends want to meet you; they asked when they could meet you again. I told them we'd do lunch or dinner, somewhere public." I venture cautiously.

"We could do dinner on Friday; my friends are having a party that night so we can meet them before that. That's why we came to the mall we need to get you a new outfit for this party." Jay informs me.

I just kind of blink at him before nodding slowly, the waiter brings our drinks and then our food. After we eat and Jay pays, we start walking through the mall and Jay takes me into a women's clothing store with clothes that were more suited for Bianca and Alli. I'm still unsure as to why I need a new dress for this party but I'm not about to argue. Jay spends several minutes looking through the racks then pulls out a little black dress.

"Try this on," he instructs me.

I take the dress and he follows me back to the dressing rooms waiting just outside the doors. Reluctantly I put on the dress and look in the mirror, there is very little fabric to this thing. It's sleeveless, the neckline plunges showing off way more of my breasts than I'm comfortable with. The bottom of it barely covers my bottom, there's a slit on the right thigh that goes all the way to my hip bone and it's tight, pushing my boobs together and showing off my curves.

"Jay this is…" I say nervously as I look at the sight in the mirror.

"Let me see Babe," Jay insists.

Slowly and reluctantly I open the dressing room door to show him.

"You look smoking hot Babe that's definitely the dress, take it off so we can buy it, we'll get you some shoes too but you don't need a bra with that dress." Jay says and when I just stare at him because I can't believe he wants me to wear this dress. "Take it off so I can buy it what are you waiting for Babe?" Jay says again more firmly.

Closing the dressing room door I take the dress off again and hand it to Jay over the door so he can purchase it. Then we go to the shoe store and he gets me a pair of shoes also more suited for Alli before he takes me home. He stops the car a few houses down and gives me a hard kiss goodbye and says he'll see me tomorrow. I wave to him as he drives off and walk up to my house. Mom is on the phone when I go in so I wave to her and go up to my room, closing the door and calling Fitz.

"Are you okay? Do I need to come get you?" Fitz asks as soon as he answers.

"I'm fine, I'm at home, we just had dinner and he bought me an outfit to wear to a party on Friday." I tell Fitz.

"What kind of outfit? What party?" Fitz questions his voice getting an angry edge.

"Mark relax, a party his friends are having but before the party we're going to have dinner so Adam and the others can meet him. You can come but you have to behave, so do Owen, Drew and Bianca." I stipulate.

"We'll behave, so where's this party?" Fitz asks.

"I don't know Mark but you can't come to the party with me. Anyway you'd flip a gasket if you saw me in the dress Jay bought me." I tell him.

"Why what's the dress like?" Fitz inquires.

"Black, small and slutty even for Bianca." I reply. Fitz just growls in response and I realize I better calm him down. "Mark I'll be fine, you'll pick me up for work in the morning?" I ask.

"Yeah of course, call me if you need me I'll come right away." Fitz responds.

"I know you will, I love you Mark." I say.

"I love you Clare, sleep well." He says and hangs up.

I hang up and get ready for bed, having woken up at three thirty this morning I'm really quite tired and fall asleep quickly, thinking of Fitz and dreaming about making love to him.

**Update soon when Adam and the others finally meet Jay!**


	22. I'd Rather See You Dead

**Ch. 22 I'd Rather See You Dead**

**(JAY)**

"So how many people do I have to impress at this dinner?" I ask Clare as we drive to the restaurant where we're meeting her friends.

"You've already met Mark, Owen, Drew and Bianca. Drew's brother Adam will be there, he's my best friend and the one that got shot. Eli will be there an…" she's replying when Interrupt her.

"Eli he's your ex right?" I ask her.

"Yeah we're just starting to be friends again. I think Dave, Jenna, K.C. and Wes also said they were coming." She tells me.

I park at the restaurant and we get out, I walk in with my arm around her shoulders and tell the host how many of us there will be, they tell us it'll be a few minutes because they need to move some tables around. Clare and I wait and then are shown to the back where they've pushed several tables together. Clare and I sit in the middle, my arm around her on the back of the chair. Since I need to impress her friends I refrain from ordering alcohol there will plenty of that at the party. A few minutes later a flood of teenagers comes in, I recognize the ones I've met already, they all sit down and that Fitz guy she calls Mark now sits on her other side.

"Everyone this is my boyfriend Jay and that's Eli, Adam, Dave, Wes, Connor, Jenna, K.C. and you know Mark, Drew, Owen and Bianca." Clare introduces us.

"Hey it's nice to meet some of Clare's friends; she's been keeping us a secret for almost a month now." I smile.

"Just your age she told us she had a boyfriend. Tell me something Jay do you really think it's appropriate to date Clare when you're seven years older than her and met her when she was just a kid?" Eli asks me.

"Childhood friends grow up to date all the time and Clare definitely isn't a kid anymore. Our age difference really isn't that big, it'll seem smaller and smaller the older we get." I respond as the waiter comes to get everyone else's drink orders.

"Yeah but it's kinda creepy now you're old enough to have graduated from college and she's going to be high school junior this year. Clare can't go to bars or drink, don't you want to do that stuff doesn't your age difference make it hard to go out?" Adam questions.

"Yeah sometimes but I'd much rather stay home with Clare," I tell them smiling at her and she blushes, "to cuddle and watch movies." I add quickly since I'm supposed to be impressing her friends and letting them think I want to stay home with Clare to have sex with her won't impress them, even if it's the truth.

"How sweet," Jenna smiles.

I smile briefly at Jenna, then look at Clare adoringly and brush a curl behind her ear. The waiter comes with their drinks and takes our order.

Eli and Adam grill me more than the others, although four of them already grilled me at a previous dinner. Eli is her ex however and Adam her best friend so it's understandable. By the end of dinner I've done my job, if they're not impressed they're at least not worried about our age difference anymore. I pay for everyone's dinner which scores me some points with most of them, I make sure to shake each of the guys hands and tell them all we should do this again soon just before we leave.

"You didn't have to pay for everyone's dinner Jay," Clare says as we get back in my car.

"They're your friends and the point of the dinner was to impress them wasn't it?" I ask her.

"The point of the dinner was for them to meet you because they didn't like our age difference but I'm pretty sure you impressed them anyway." She smiles at me.

"Mission accomplished then, now your friends won't be worried about our age difference and we don't have to be so secretive. Right now though we have to go back to my place so you can change into your party dress," I tell her.

We get back to my place; she gets her dress from the closet and goes into the washroom to change.

"Jay are you sure about this?" She asks nervously from the other side of the washroom door a few minutes later.

"What do you mean?" I call back.

She slowly opens the washroom door and I look over, she looks unbelievably fucking hot!

"This dress, you really want me to wear it to the party? I…it…" she stumbles over her words and shifts uncomfortably.

"Babe you look amazingly hot! You can easily pass for twenty in that dress and I am going to be the fucking luckiest man there because I'll have the hottest girl on my arm. Put on the shoes." I instruct her. She walks to the bedroom putting on the shoes and slowly walking back out. "Fucking gorgeous, sexiest girl ever!" I tell her. She smiles, blushes and bites her lip, it's very tempting to just to stay here and fuck her to exhaustion but I did tell my friends we would be at this party and several of them have been asking to meet my girlfriend for a while. "One last thing, no panties," I inform her.

"Pardon me?" She asks with a scared look on her face.

"Take them off and don't wear panties at the party," I say again.

"But Jay why? What if someone sees?" She questions her voice very small.

I brush a curl behind her ear and bring my lips to hers. "Because I want easy access to that pussy that belongs to me and I don't think I can make it through a party without getting at it and because I told you to Babe or I'm going to be angry. Just keep your legs closed unless I tell you to open them and no one will see."

When she stands there staring at me blankly still I reach up under the skirt of her dress and rip her panties off dropping them to the floor. She gasps a little, I take her hand and pull her out the door because we're already late.

"Jay," she says in a small voice with great apprehension after I've been driving a few minutes.

"Yes Babe?" I ask.

"What if someone tries to touch me at the party, I mean even if I keep my legs closed this dress is really short and someone c…"

"Babe if any other guy ever puts even a finger on you I'll kill him you know that. You know you're safe with me don't you?" I question cutting her off.

"Yeah I know, sorry I'm just nervous I guess, I'm meeting your friends and now it's my turn to make a good impression." She says.

"Well don't worry Babe my friends will love you and I won't leave your side all night." I assure her.

I park and help her out of the car since she's not used to walking in heels and not quite sure how to maneuver in the dress with no panties. Putting my arm around her waist we walk up the path and I knock on the door.

"Jay Buddy you made it and this must be the mysterious Clare, I'm Rob it's nice to finally meet you. Jay said you were beautiful but wow, what are you doing with Jay?" Rob teases letting us in and shaking Clare's hand.

"It's nice to meet you too," Clare smiles shyly gripping the back of my shirt a little.

We walk into the party and I introduce Clare to everyone, just about everyone says how, hot, sexy or pretty she is. After a while of mingling and introductions I can tell that Clare is getting tired of standing in her heels so I grab a beer, we walk to a sofa and I sit with Clare on my lap. My friend Hector sits down next to us and we begin talking, my hand starts caressing Clare's leg and I'm getting horny. My erection becomes constrained in my jeans and I know Clare can feel it.

"I need to use the washroom, where is it?" Clare inquires.

"I'll show you Babe?" I tell her helping her off my lap.

I take her by the hips and walk her in front of me down the hall, we go into the master bedroom, and I close and lock the door behind us.

"Jay this isn't the washroom," she point out when we're in there.

"And I told you I wouldn't be able to go all night without fucking that beautiful pussy of yours." I remind her, pressing against her and running my hand up her leg to her hip. "We haven't had sex in days and I'm dying to fuck you now bend over the bed." I command her whispering against her neck.

She tenses up a little but bends over the bed, I hike up the skirt of her dress and tell her to spread her legs, when she doesn't listen I slap her ass and she spreads her legs. My fingers probe her pussy until she's wet, then I unzip my jeans and take them down with my boxers just enough to free my dick and grabbing her hips ram into her. She makes a noise and grips into the bed. I fuck her so hard she can barely stand and when I'm done she falls to the bed. I fix my clothes, turn her around and kiss her hard.

"Don't take too long in the washroom." I say kissing her again and then leaving to go back to the party.

**(CLARE)**

After cleaning up in the washroom I look at myself in the mirror and have to look away. I hadn't seen Jay since Tuesday night telling him I had to work and mom was keeping me busy with wedding details since the wedding was only a few weeks away. Truth was I hadn't been home since Monday, mom thought I was at Jenna's or Adam's helping out. Actually I'd been sleeping at Fitz's place, falling more deeply in love with him, sleeping in his arms and making love. For the last two days I had done my best to pretend that I wasn't with Jay, that he didn't exist, that I wasn't pregnant with his baby and soon going to be forced to marry him. Tonight though I didn't have a choice but to see Jay, Eli and the others were going to meet him, Jay and I had to attend the party we were currently at and I had promised Jay to spend the night because he was getting impatient at not seeing me all week.

I'd only been away from Fitz for a couple of hours and I already missed him, wishing he was here. I didn't want to be here, in this dress, with Jay I wanted Fitz and I felt so guilty for betraying him by being with Jay but what choice did I have? If Jay ever finds out that I've been cheating on him with Fitz he'll kill us both, literally. I knew my relationship with Fitz couldn't last, that he'd run or freak out when he found out I was pregnant with Jay's baby. Or worse that Jay would find out and hurt him and me. Jay was waiting for me so I didn't have time to linger on it now. I left the washroom going back out to the party to see Jay is drinking yet another beer, carefully sitting on his lap again and pulling the skirt down on the dress so no one can see I have no panties on.

When Jay finishes his beer we get up and walk to the bar area, Jay pulls me behind me the bar with him as he begins browsing the alcohol selection. He takes another beer and we go sit outside under an arbor and away from the fire and most of the people. He sits me on his lap again, the night is fairly warm but there's a breeze and I cuddle into him to keep warm. Jay sips his beer as his hand goes up my dress and between my legs.

"Jay people can see us," I argue, sort of plead really for him to stop as his finger slips into me.

"No one's looking at us Babe, I was good at the dinner with your friends and I've been denied your pussy all week and now I want it." He whispers in my ear.

I bite my lip not wanting to anger him, while I'm sure he won't hit me in front of so many people I'm going home with him tonight and he will hit me there. At least when one of his friends approaches he removes his finger but leaves my skirt hiked up a bit. I start to pull it down but he grabs my wrist and stops me.

"Leave it," he instructs with a whisper in my ear.

"But…" I start to argue.

"I said leave it Clare," he whispers again but his tone is much harsher.

I leave my skirt where it is but keep my hands on it and shift a little on Jay's lap. A tall guy with dark hair and short beard sits down near us.

"Babe this is my buddy Cole, my girlfriend Clare." Jay introduces us.

"It's nice to meet you," I say quickly.

"You never told me she was so sexy Jay," Cole smiles looking me over.

"Yeah she's my little sex kitten," Jay smiles running his hand up my leg and hiking up my skirt little. He pushed some hair behind my ear and whispered in my ear. "Why don't you show Cole just how sexy you are, open your legs for him."

I tense up and squeeze my legs together tighter, catching a surprised breath in my throat and looking back at Jay thinking I must have misheard him. At least hoping I had and he didn't just ask me to flash this guy I've only just met.

"Jay you're not serious?" I whisper in a hopeful tone.

"Open your legs and show him that hot pussy that belongs only to me," Jay says into my ear again his voice low but louder than a whisper.

My stomach lurches and turns, I feel embarrassed and more like an object than a person right now, a toy for their amusement. I feel sick and angry all at once, forgetting temporarily what happens when I make Jay angry I hop off of his lap.

"Excuse me I'm not feeling very well," I say quickly and walk as fast as I can in these heels back inside.

Stopping in the doorway to the living room to take off my shoes I quickly escape the house for the front. My purse is still at Jay's and I have no idea where we are but I don't care right now and just start walking. I only make it as far as the end of the doorway before my arm is grabbed and I'm violently pulled back and turned around to face Jay. He's holding me with a vice like grip, my circulation is being cut off, my arms starts to fall asleep and yet a sharp pain shoots through it.

"What the hell was that you embarrassed me in front of my friend?!" Jay snarls at me.

"You wanted me to flash him and not my breasts," I argue trying to get my arm away but he's holding it too tightly.

"I wanted you to show him how sexy you like to be for me I wasn't going to let him touch you." Jay counters, his voice is calm but malicious. He lets go of my arm and I start running again, I don't get too far before Jay grabs me and shoves me against his car. "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING! YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND YOU DO WHAT I TELL YOU CLARE! YOU BELONG TO ME!" He yells his eyes full of malice but I'm still angry.

"I'm not going to flash some guy I barely know Jay. I'm your girlfriend not your…"

My sentence gets cut off when Jay backhands me ferociously and with such force that I'm sent careening into the side view mirror. The corner of my right eye and temple colliding with the mirror making a cracking sound and both sides of my face begin to throb and burn. The other bruise on my face from the last time Jay had backhanded me was just starting to fade and now I have two more. I fall to the ground as I feel tears crawling down my cheeks; I'm only on the ground a second before Jay picks me up by my dress. He unlocks the passenger side door and pushes me into the car slamming the door as soon as my hands and feet are in. He goes around to the other side of the car and gets in; I manage to buckle up as he starts driving.

"I don't know why you insist on making me so mad Clare, I told you not to make me angry!" He growls as we begin driving back to his place.

"I'm sorry," I snivel hoping that giving in will calm him down.

"You belong to me, you got that? If I tell you to do something then you fucking do it! I wouldn't have let him touch you; no one touches you but me! You think I didn't notice that Fitz guy looking at you during dinner, the way his leg kept touching yours and I didn't say or do anything at the dinner." Jay tells me, he's no longer yelling but his tone is harsh and jealous.

"Mark and I just friends," I try to assure him even though nothing could be further from the truth.

"Yeah and when the fuck did you start calling him Mark?" Jay questions.

"It's his name, Mark Fitzgerald." I inform him in a soft voice.

"I don't care I don't want you to see him anymore. I don't like him, he still has a thing for you and I don't like the way he looks at you. I don't want you anywhere near him." Jay tells me.

"But Jay we work together I can't just…" I'm arguing when Jay cuts me off.

"I don't give a fuck Clare! Take a different shift or stop working!" Jay orders.

Work offers me a solace from Jay but not seeing Fitz anymore would break my heart. Still I knew what Fitz and I have would have to end sometime. Given that Jay's already suspicious for Fitz's safety it's probably better to break things off now. My chest gets tight and I can feel my heart breaking. I can't speak because my throat has a lump in it but I nod and take a deep breath.

"I'll work a different shift, I won't see Mark anymore." I say after a minute.

"That's my girl; I'm only doing this for your own good because I love you so much." Jay says brushing a strand of hair back from my face.

"I know I love you too," I reply mostly out of fear of what he'll do if I don't.

I do still love Jay in a way but not like I love Fitz or maybe it's not love at all maybe I'm convincing myself that I still have any love for him so that I can say the words and sound like I mean it. Jay parks in his spot of the parking garage of his building, turns off the care and gently guides my face to look at him.

"I'm sorry Babe you know I love you, let's get you upstairs so you can clean up." He says getting out of the car.

I get out of the car, he puts his arm around me and we go up to his apartment as soon as we're in I go into the washroom to clean up. There's blood on my temple but just a little, my mascara is running from crying so much, I wash my face and leave the washroom. Jay's on the sofa watching TV, I want to get my purse and my phone to call or text Fitz but my purse is by Jay and I'm afraid he'll catch me. I go into the bedroom closing the door and unzipping the dress to take it off. The door opens and Jay comes in, I freeze up as Jay comes up behind me pulling the dress over my head. He kisses my shoulder, then my neck and back. Since I didn't have a need to wear bra with this dress because it worked like a corset and Jay forced me to go without panties I'm now naked and Jay is horny again. His arm goes around my stomach holding me firm, his other hand caressing along my body and I shiver but not with pleasure like I do when Fitz touches me I shiver with fear.

I gasp as he picks me up and then puts me on the bed, his clothes come off quickly and he gets on top of me. I don't resist because I know it'll just be worse, Jay kisses me as he thrusts into me forcefully, I hold back a whimper when he goes all the way in and it hurts. I concentrate on kissing him and try to ignore everything else. I used to escape into my mind where I could be with Fitz but thinking about Fitz hurts too much. The thing that does stay in my mind is the son Run for Your Life by The Beatles. _"Well I'd rather see you dead little girl than to be with another man." _Just that one lyric keeps repeating in my mind while Jay fucks me and kisses me hard because I know that's how he is. Thankfully Jay finishes quickly and rolls off of me; he kisses my shoulder and lets out a deep exhale of satisfaction. Then he kisses my lips again and hops out of bed putting his boxers back on.

"Can you bring me my purse please?" I request when I see he's going to the living room again.

"Why?" He asks suspiciously.

"I need my chap stick," I lie.

Jay shrugs and goes out to the living room grabbing my purse and returning with a bottle of water as well.

"You look tired Babe you should get some sleep," Jay tells me kissing my forehead.

"I will," I nod.

"I got work in the morning so I'll be out early," Jay says going out to the living room again and closing the bedroom door behind him.

After texting Laura that I'll be in for the closing shift instead of opening tomorrow I call Bianca.

"Hey what's up?" Bianca asks.

"I need a favor, can you text Mark and tell him I won't be at work with him tomorrow, tell him I'm fine." I request of her practically whispering.

"Did that bastard hit you again?" Bianca asks in an angry voice.

"It's not that bad, a couple new bruises. Just tell Mark please, you can tell Drew and Owen too but make sure they know I'm okay and not to do anything." I insist.

"I'll tell them but I can't promise they won't call you." She replies with a heavy sigh.

"I'm turning my phone off; I call you in the morning." I tell her.

"I have to work at Omar's office in the morning if I don't answer then call Owen." She instructs.

"Okay, I gotta go thanks Bianca." She says and hangs up.

I turn off my phone and place it back in my purse, take a few sips of water then place it on the nightstand, curl up and shut my eyes trying to sleep. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally but sleep doesn't come easy and it's longer after Jay comes to bed and falls asleep that I manage to. I feel groggy when I wake up the next morning, rolling over I look at the clock to see it's only a little after nine but Jay is already gone. After dressing I sit on the bed and pull my phone out of my purse turning it on again. I have sixteen missed calls, most are from Fitz but there's five from Owen and four from Drew. I also have a small book of missed texts but it's only Fitz and the guys asking if I'm okay and demanding to know what happened. I don't answer any of them but do call Bianca; she doesn't answer she's probably working at Omar's office so I hang up and call Owen.

"What the fuck did he do to you? Are you okay? Why aren't you working with Fitz? Where are you?" Owen asks in quick succession before taking a breath, he sounds pissed and worried all at once.

"I'm at his apartment can you come get me?" I request.

"Yeah sure, what's the address?" Owen asks.

I give him the address and he says he'll be here in ten minutes; I hang up and go into the washroom to get ready but leave the bruises uncovered because I know he's going to want to see the new bruises. Just after I finish getting ready there's a knock at the door. I look through the peephole to see Owen and open the door; he takes my chin gently looking at my face closely then my arm where Jay grabbed me last night.

"That fucking asshole, where the hell is he?" Owen demands.

"At work Owen," I reply.

"Where's he work again? Tony's right? I'm gonna go kill him!" Owen states.

"No you're not, you Drew and Mark aren't going to do anything to him I'm okay." I insist.

"You're okay?! Clare you have two bad bruises on your face and a hand print so dark on your arm I can make out his fingerprints! That's not okay Clare!" Owen argues.

"I won't see him for days can we just go now please?" I request.

"Yeah come on," he says sighing deeply and putting an arm around my shoulders. I lock up Jay's apartment and we go down to Owen's car, as soon as we're in I start covering the bruises with makeup. "Where we going?" Owen asks.

"Adam's I guess, I'm sure Drew wants to know what happened and Bianca when she gets there, just don't pull up until I have the bruises entirely covered." I tell him.

Owen doesn't say anything but he does slow down, when we're nearly at Adam's and I haven't covered all my bruises yet he parks until I'm done. Then he drives to Adam's and we go in through the basement door. The bruises are no longer visible but if you look close enough you can see the swelling so I simply don't plan on getting close to any of them today.

"I thought you'd be at work with Fitz." Adam comments.

Eli's the only one here this early besides Drew of course, the three of them are on the sofa playing video games but they pause it when we come in. Eli and Adam are giving me a curious look while Drew has a semi scolding but also concerned look.

"I switched to evening shifts," I reply.

"Why? I thought you were supposed to work with Fitz?" Eli questions.

"I couldn't wake up in the mornings," I lie.

"And how was the party last night with your pedophile boyfriend? I still don't trust him and I still don't think you should go out with him I don't care how much of a gentleman he was at dinner." Eli tells me.

"I don't trust him either," Adam nods.

"You don't have to trust him he's my boyfriend and the party was fine." I reply curtly as I start getting defensive.

"You eaten yet? Mom made pancakes for breakfast I think there's some batter left." Drew says before Eli and Adam can ask any more questions.

"Thanks pancakes sound good, I can make them." I reply.

"I'll get the stuff out for you," Drew offers standing up.

"Yeah I could use some breakfast too and some coffee." Owen remarks following us up the stairs.

Drew closes the door to the basement and we go into the kitchen, Drew gets out the batter and the griddle.

"Okay so what happened?" Drew questions.

"Why'd you really switch to evening shifts?" Owen asks before I can answer the first question.

"I got him mad and he hit me, I had to switch to evening shifts because Jay doesn't want me to see Mark anymore." I reply.

"And you're obeying?" Owen inquires.

"Jay thinks that something's going on with me and Mark and he has a right to be suspicious. If Jay find out about me and Mark, he'll kill him anyway I can't stay with Mark eventually he's going to get fed up sharing me with Jay and leave me." I inform them as I stir the pancake batter.

"So break up with Jay! You're happy with Fitz, you guys are in love and you're going to throw that away for an asshole that hits you?!" Owen asks keeping his voice low but his tone is hard and accusatory.

"I don't have a choice Owen, I'm trapped now more than ever and if Jay finds out I so much as kissed Mark let alone been pretty much living at his place the last few days he'll snap! He'll kill Mark, he'll come after me, maybe you two or Adam or anyone just to get at me. He's not going to let me go, not now, not ever. It breaks my heart not to see Mark, to stay away from him but I don't have a choice." I entreat them.

"What do you mean you're trapped now more than ever?" Drew questions.

I look up at them and bite my lip but don't answer; I ladle some batter onto the griddle and watch the pancakes carefully. When they figure out I'm not going to answer they start making coffee and getting out plates. When the pancakes are done Owen and I take our plates downstairs, I sit in the corner of the sofa away from Eli and Adam so they can't see the swelling around the bruises. Owen and I eat; Katie comes over and sits with Drew, K.C. shows up a short time later then Connor and finally Bianca just before noon. I know Fitz is going to be off soon and he'll probably come here looking for me.

"I should get home; I have to get ready for work." I announce.

"I'll take you home," Owen offers.

"Thanks Owen, see you tomorrow Adam bye everyone." I call.

"Bye Clare," the others reply together.

"I'll walk you guys out," Drew says.

"Yeah me too," Bianca comments and Katie glares at her.

We walk out to Owen's car and Bianca looks at my face closely then Drew does the same.

"Guys please don't say anything to Mark about what Jay said that he's not letting me see him anymore. He's just going to get angry and he might try something stupid so please don't tell him." I request to Owen and Drew.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bianca questions.

"I'll explain," Drew tells her and then looks at me, "I won't say anything about that anyway." Drew tells me.

"Yeah I'll keep my trap shut about it but you know he ain't gonna give you up that easily." Owen responds.

"I won't say anything either, once I find out anyway but Owen is right." Bianca says.

"Yeah I know, thanks guys," I smile at them and get in Owen's car.

"Are you going to be okay?" Owen asks me when we pull up to my house.

"Yeah I go to work in about an hour, thanks for the ride Owen." I smile.

"Okay I'll come check on you at the Dot later, call me or B if anything happens." Owen instructs.

"I will," I promise him then lean over to kiss his cheek.

Getting out of the car I wave to Owen before going inside. Mom is in the living room with Glen talking about the wedding. I wave to them and go upstairs, relaxing on my bed a while before changing into a denim skirt and Dot t-shirt.

"I'm closing tonight Mom I won't be home until midnight or so." I inform her.

"That's awfully late Clare, is that boy Fitz giving you a ride?" Mom questions.

"Uh no Mark has opening shifts but Owen or Bianca can bring me home." I tell her.

"Okay sweetie, I'll be in bed when you get home and out early tomorrow we're having breakfast with some of Glen's friends." Mom tells me.

I say goodbye to Mom and Glen and go outside, I start walking to the Dot when I hear a car behind me and turn to see Fitz.

"Clare!" Fitz calls to me.

"Mark go away I have to get to work," I tell him.

He parks the car and gets out getting in front of me and preventing me from walking.

"Why'd you switch shifts? What did he do to you last night?" Fitz questions me.

"Mark please you need to go if Jay sees us together he…" I'm pleading with him when Fitz cuts me off.

"Did he hurt you because of me? Did he hit you because he knows about us?" Fitz asks.

"If he knew anything about us he'd kill us both but he suspects and he didn't hit me because of you he hit me because I made him angry now please go I need to get to work." I assert pushing past him.

Fitz grabs the back of my skirt and stops me from walking. "I'll give you a ride get in the car." He tells me.

"Mark no if he sees us together he'll kill you please just go." I plead with him.

Mark on the other hand doesn't give me choice and picks me up; he puts me in the passenger seat and starts driving.

"He hits you because he's an abusive asshole Clare not because you made him angry. Now please tell me what happened last night." Fitz pleads as he parks behind the Dot.

"I can't see you anymore Mark not ever," I tell him and jump out of the car running inside and wiping the heartbroken tears from my face.

**Update Soon with sexy time and a couple big secrets getting revealed.**


	23. You Want to Laugh it's too Absurd

**Ch. 23 You Want to Laugh it's too Absurd**

**(CLARE)**

Fitz walked in through the front of the café about fifteen minutes after I started work meaning he'd been sitting in his car for those fifteen minutes probably debating what to do. He ordered a large mocha from Laura glanced at me then sat at a table by the window and started sipping at it. That was nearly four hours ago he's been there ever since just sipping his coffee and watching me while I do my best to pretend he isn't there. I'm busy wiping down some tables with my back to Fitz so I don't see when Owen walks in. I don't notice he's there at all until a pain shoots through my torso; I suck in a breath and double over a little clutching my stomach as I grip the table.

"You okay?" Owen questions, his hands on my arms as he guides me to sit at the table.

"Fine just a random pain," I reply as he sits across from me. "What are you doing here?" I question which then seems like a stupid question as most of DeGrassi hangs out here even in the summer.

"I said I'd come by to check on you how you holding up? How are your bruises?" He asks but keeps his voice down.

"Why can you see the bruises?" I question.

"No you have them well covered," Owen replies.

"Then my bruises are fine and so am I but I'd be a lot better if you could get him out of here." I reply nodding to Fitz still sitting at the same table sipping at the same coffee which has to be ice cold by now.

Owen looks over to Fitz and then back at me with a grin. "Sorry Clare he's suffering from being in love, if he wants to sit there and watch you I don't think I can stop him. Why don't you just talk to him?" Owen asks.

"I can't and if Jay finds him in here…" I'm saying when Owen interrupts.

"Then he's in here drinking coffee like everyone else. How late you working?" Owen questions.

"I'm closing tonight, with Laura I won't get off until about midnight you think you can give me a ride home?" I query.

"Yeah no problem just call me when you're ready to leave. I better get home for dinner talk to him to Clare." Owen advises standing up and leaving the café.

I sigh and get up going behind the counter just as Laura comes back from lunch. I put in my lunch order to the kitchen and when it's ready I take my lunch break going upstairs so I can eat in peace. I only eat a few bites of my sandwich but I'm really not hungry my mind is caught in turmoil, so deeply lost in my mind, trapped in my thoughts, in this hopefully black abyss I've created for myself I don't even hear the door to the club open or see the sunlight flow in when it does.

"Clare," Fitz says softly but his voice still breaks into my thoughts and I look over at him.

"Mark please just go we can't be together anymore," I insist standing up and turning my back to him.

"Why because that asshole said so? He's trying to control you and you're letting him!" Fitz exclaims he isn't yelling but I can hear the anger in his voice.

"I don't have a choice Mark if he finds out that there was an us then he'll kill you and I'll lose you anyway. Just please stay away I don't want to do anything to make Jay angry." I plead with Fitz.

"Break up with him, be with me I'll keep you safe. I love you he doesn't, be with me I'm in love with you Clare!" Fitz pleads coming up behind me and putting his hands on my arms.

Tears fill the corners of my eyes before slipping out; I pull away from his hands and turn around to face him. "I can't Mark, Jay will kill you, he'll take me or worse I love you too but we can never be together please just leave. Forget about me and go be with a girl that deserves you, that can be with you." I tell him trying to walk past him but he catches my hand and pulls me back.

"I don't want any other girl I want you, I love you! You can't expect me to just walk away and leave you with Jay, let him hit you and hurt you?!" He says his voice rising a little and getting angrier.

"I expect you to stay alive Mark! If Jay hurts you, does anything to you because of me it would kill me." I respond.

"Jay isn't going to hurt me," Fitz argues.

"YES HE WILL HE ALREADY HAS! I'm going to lose you no matter what but I'd rather know you were alive and unharmed than hurt or dead. I'm sorry Mark I never should have dragged you into this, I never should have told you I loved you or spent so much time with you I never should have fallen in love with you." I lament but don't pull my hand away because his touch, even one so small feels so good.

I want so badly to be in his arms, for him to embrace me and kiss me, I bite my lip and look away from him otherwise I'm afraid I'm just going to fall into his arms.

"But you did and I did and we are in love, you can't just walk away from that! I'm not going to walk away from us, from you and you can't ask me too!" Fitz informs me.

"I'm not asking, I'm telling you to walk away Mark please." I'm practically begging but still won't look at him.

"Fine I'm not listening Clare, I chased you for months and I finally get you and you think you can just tell me to walk away? It's not happening Clare, it's not like I'm walking away so you can be with Jake or Eli! You're asking me to leave you with Jay a pedophile that rapes you and beats you! Which I still wouldn't do but you're telling me to just let you be with that asshole when I know you love me then you must be crazy because no one would ever do that! You can say it all you want I am never going to walk away from you!" Fitz informs me.

"Then Jay will kill you he already thinks there's something going on between us," I argue thinking to myself that he will walk away when he finds out I'm pregnant.

"There is something going on between us we're in love," Fitz counters.

"And if Jay finds out he'll kill you, there's no telling what he'll do to me and I'll lose you anyway! Please just l…"

Before the first syllable of the word leave even passes my lips Fitz's lips are pressed against mine. I inhale deeply breathing him in, his arms go around my lower back pressing me to him, my arms go around his neck my lips parting to allow his tongue into my mouth. My anger, my fear, my determined will to never see Fitz again slips away, evaporating with each breath we take together. Jay, my pregnancy, my bruises, the fact that eventually I need to get back to work it all just disappears as all I know right now is I want Fitz and I never want to leave his arms again.

I kiss him hungrily, passionately with much fervor, my hands rake through his hair and he grips my waist. He picks me up lifting me up and I wrap my legs around his waist, gripping the short hairs at the back of his head and my other hand grips the back of his shirt. He carries me to the love seat and lies me down gently, his lips stay on mine, he doesn't break from the kiss but his hands leave my waist pulling up the denim skirt I'm wearing to my hips and pulling down my panties. He discards them to floor as I open the fly on his jeans. He pulls them down a little, with his boxers but his lips never leave mine. I feel the head of his cock tickling my pussy lips before he slowly enters me. My breathing hitches and I gasp into the kiss at the feel of him.

He thrusts in slowly so as not to hurt me but all I know is I want to feel more of him. I kiss him with more passion and fervor bucking my hips to encourage him to go faster. He takes the hint sliding his arm around under my lower back to arch it up a little and starts moving a little faster. Feeling him makes me hunger for him more, I grip him tightly, arching my back and reveling in this sensation. Every bruise on my body is aching and throbbing right now but I don't care, the pleasure far outweighs the pain I feel. Tasting his lips and tongue, feeling his body against mine, his skin rubbing against mine, his cock deep inside me feeling my depths and bringing me indescribable pleasure even the sounds our clothes are making being rubbed together and creating friction it's all driving me to orgasm like a runaway train. I feel myself ready, about to burst, to pop and explode in exquisitely erotic carnality. I kiss him harder, deeper, gently nipping his bottom lip and sucking his tongue then moaning into the kiss as I orgasm. My vaginal walls tighten around him, I feel him grow and throb inside of me as he climaxes at the same second making a guttural groan into the kiss.

He slows down before pulling out and finally pulling away from the kiss to kneel between my legs and fix his clothes. He leans down again brushing a strand of hair behind my ear and gently placing his lips on mine again. My left cheek where Jay backhanded me last night is throbbing and hurting from all that time kissing Fitz and all the moaning but I don't care. Fitz smiles at me straightens up and gets my panties from the floor putting them back on for me then he helps me to stand and kisses me again.

"You should probably get downstairs again, I'll clean up. I love you." He says.

Those three little words that used to fill me with joy and bliss now fill me with guilt, a sense of shame and an impending fear. As wonderful as I felt a few minutes ago in the throes of rapture I feel just as badly now. It's like falling off a cliff, seeing the ground coming up to meet you and knowing you're going to hit it and there's nothing you can do. The worst part is I'm not falling alone I'm taking Fitz with me and we're both going to be crushed together. I feel like I can't breathe, like I have to get away so when he leans down to kiss me I turn my head and push him away.

"We shouldn't have done that, you have to go you have to stay away." I command turning and walking quickly for the front door.

"Clare you don't mean that!" He calls after me just as I reach the door.

I open the door stopping in the door way to turn back to him. "Yes I do we can't do this anymore no contact Mark if you can't walk away then I'll tell Jay myself. Not about us but I'll tell him I cheated please Mark stay away!" I insist then run downstairs through the back of the café and into the employee lounge sinking down against the lockers, bringing my knees up to my chest and ignoring the pain it causes me as I lay my head on my knees and bawl like a baby.

I sob hard for several minutes letting my tears fall like salty water falls down my skin. Looking at the clock I realize I better get back out front and I stand. I open my locker getting out my purse and grabbing my makeup bag as I'm sure my tears and my time with Fitz has washed off some of the makeup. When everything is covered again I quickly stash the stuff back in my locker and go back to the front of the café. It's just about seven and we're getting the late evening rush of kids that need a caffeine fix because it's summer and a few college students venturing away from the campus.

"Are you okay you look like you've been crying?" Laura asks when I get back out.

"Yeah fine it's just summer allergies," I insist.

"Okay well Fitz just told me you should stay seated at the register as much as possible and Peter told us that when it comes to you to listen to Fitz so you take over at the register and I'll make the coffee." Laura says.

I sit on the stool to start taking orders and ringing them up, the rush starts to die around nine just before Laura goes on break.

"Oh I almost forgot these came for you while you were on lunch." Laura says reaching below the counter to pull up a beautiful bouquet of flowers. "Wish my boyfriend did things like that. I'll be back shortly," Laura says and then goes on break.

Amongst the roses, lilies and carnations in my bouquet is a card. I already know the flowers are from Jay but I pull out the card anyway. **I love you Clare, I'm sorry I promise it'll never happen again. **I look at the card and I want to believe it, I'm sure that he means it but I'm also sure he'll hit me again. The door chimes and I look up to see Jay come in.

"Don't tell me you were waiting outside until I got the flowers and read the card," I tease sardonically hoping to hide any hint of what Fitz and I were doing just a couple of hours ago.

"No I was told your break would be around this time and thought I'd swing by." Jay replies leaning over the counter to kiss me.

"Thanks for the flowers their lovely, I love you too." I tell him maintaining a soft smile on my lips but I have to force the words out and they leave a bitter taste on my tongue.

"I'm off on Tuesday and a buddy of mine hooked me up with some theatre tickets. I thought we could have a date, a proper one dinner and everything I'll even wear a suit jacket and I thought you could wear this." Jay says producing a black jewelry box and opening it to reveal a silver heart with an amethyst at the center which happens to be my birth stone.

"Jay it's beautiful," I exclaim and it is I don't even have to force out those words.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you," he grins taking it from the box, "I had it engraved." He tells me flipping it over so I can read the inscription, **Jay's Girl**, is what it says. "Turn around." He orders and I obey turning around and holding up my hair so he can fasten the necklace on me.

"Jay I love it all but flowers, tickets to the theatre and the necklace this must have cost a fortune." I remark as I turn around again.

"You're worth it Babe, I'm off tomorrow too and if you're working the same shift then we should go apartment hunting." Jay tells me.

"I only work closing shifts now; I changed shifts just like you told me to." I tell him feeling a sickening guilt wash over me both for what I was doing with Fitz and that I'll be apartment hunting with Jay tomorrow.

"Good girl, well I gotta run some of the guys are coming over to play poker." Jay says grabs my chin to kiss me again and then leaves.

A few of the patrons are looking at me and whispering, probably conjecturing on our age difference. I ignore them and get back to work, Laura returns a couple minutes later and sees the necklace right away.

"Wow flowers and jewelry what's he apologizing for?" She asks looking at the necklace.

"Uh getting drunk at a party last night," I reply as I'm not about to tell her the truth.

"Oh yeah my boyfriends done that too, got stupid drunk, said all kinds of idiotic crap and threw up on me but all I got was a teddy bear." She complains.

"I should go on my break but you think I can have Tuesday off?" I ask her.

"Peter says you pretty much make your own hours and shifts just tell me when you're working so I know we have coverage for your breaks." Laura tells me.

"Closing shifts all week except for Tuesday," I reply.

"You'll need another day off how about Thursday?" Laura suggests.

"Sure sounds good Tuesday and Thursday then, I'll be back in fifteen minutes." I tell her and walk into the back and the lounge.

I'm only in there a minute before I run to the washroom and lose the little bit of sandwich I ate into the toilet. Well the doctor did say morning sickness didn't always come in the mornings. After getting some water and resting in the employee lounge for a bit I go back out to the front. Thankfully for me it remains pretty calm until closing because I'm tired and not feeling so hot.

**(OWEN)**

I was watching a late night movie when my cell rang and I pulled it from my pocket to see Clare's name.

"Hey you done?" I ask her.

"Yeah just finished." She replies.

"Cool pick you up in five minutes, I'll pull around back but wait inside till I'm there." I instruct her.

"Kay thanks Owen," she says and hangs up.

Quietly leaving my house and locking the front door I get in my car and drive to the Dot texting Clare that I'm there, she comes out a second later and gets in the car.

"You look tired," I remark to her as she buckles up.

"It's been a long couple of days," she tells me and I instantly feel stupid for the remark.

"So what happened with Fitz?" I ask her although I already know because he called me and we were hanging out all evening until he got tired and had to go home to sleep.

"I tried to tell him to stay away and he wouldn't listen I made the mistake of having sex with him again and then told him if he couldn't stay away that I'd tell Jay I was cheating with someone." She tells me.

"If you tell Jay that he'll kill you, he'll beat the crap out of you." I argue.

"I know but it's better than him finding out I've been having an affair with Mark and Jay killing him, actually killing him, not just beating him." She counters.

"Clare…" I start to argue because I know she's making a mistake and she should be with Fitz but she interrupts me.

"Owen please," she cries out and I look over to see she's crying, "I'm not talking about this I love Mark but I can't be with him! Nothing he says, nothing you or anyone says is going to convince me that breaking with Jay is the right thing when I know it'll just bring more heart ache. Like it or not I'm with Jay forever and Mark needs to move on. Please help him and make sure he studies for his exam, be there for him because I can't."

She upset and agitated, looking a little sick and very tired, I could probably argue with her until I'm blue in the face but she's dead set on this. I hate it but I'm not going to change her mind, not tonight anyway but I'm not entirely ready to give up on her either and it's about this time I see the silver chain around her neck that wasn't there earlier. I pull on it producing a heart necklace from underneath her work t-shirt.

"Well he knows how to apologize well," I comment and this earns me a small smile from one corner of her mouth.

"I got flowers too and an actual date with dinner and a show on Tuesday night." She informs me as we pull up to her house.

"Look Clare I think you're making a huge mistake but I won't argue with you anymore if you just promise me one thing." I insist to her.

"What's that?" She asks.

"We're not going to stop being your friends just because you aren't with Fitz anymore so promise you call one of us: me, Drew or Bianca if you need us. I don't just mean the next time Jay hits you either although we better hear about that too but anytime you need us for anything." I tell her.

Now she smiles a soft, sweet genuine smile. "I promise," she says before getting out of the car.

I wait until she's inside before I drive home, everyone else is asleep when I get home but I'm not quite tired yet so I watch TV for a while and then go to bed. I'm only asleep for a couple of hours before my text message sound goes off and I wake up grabbing my phone from the nightstand; rubbing my eyes so I can see before I read the text which is from Clare.

**Clare: Are you asleep?**

**Owen: Not anymore. What's wrong?**

**Clare: I'm sorry go back to sleep.**

She doesn't really think I'm going back to sleep now does she? Rather than text her back I call her.

"I didn't mean to wake you up I'm sorry go back to sleep." She insists.

"Clare what's wrong I'm awake now just tell me because you know I'll just call you back until you do." I tell her.

"I had a nightmare and can't get back to sleep," she confesses to me.

"Get dressed I'll be there in a few minutes," I inform her and hang up before she can argue.

I pull on some sweats and a hoodie, slip on my sneakers and leave the house driving back to Clare's. I text her that I'm there and a minute later her porch light comes on and she comes through the front door. She gets in the car and I start driving toward the school just to have somewhere to park.

"So what was the nightmare about?" I ask her. She doesn't answer for a few seconds and I look over to see her biting her lip and even in the moonlight I can see the tears in her eyes. "Let me guess it was about Jay," I state and she nods. "I know you've known him since you were twelve but remind me how?" I ask.

"When I was 12 my sister was drugged and raped on DeGrassi's ski trip, she barely remembered and thought she'd slept with her boyfriend. She started to remember though and began acting out even accusing Mr. Simpson of sexual assault and trying to commit suicide." Clare tells me and stops to take a shaky breath as she starts crying thinking about the memories. I put my hand on her shoulder as a gesture of comfort; she takes a deep breath and continues. "My parents were trying to deal with Darcy, with her news about the rape and her attempt at suicide and they tried to hide it from me but I knew what was happening. My family wouldn't talk to me and I sort of got pushed out, I didn't really have any close friends but some of Darcy's friends were around to check on her and my parents sort of handed me over to them so they could deal with Darcy. Mostly Darcy's boyfriend at the time who happened to be Peter, as well as her ex Spinner and Jay who was close with Spinner, sometimes a couple of her other friends but mostly the three of them. Most of the time we just hung out at the Dot or Spinner's place and while I'm sure I was an annoying little kid and a burden to them they never showed it. Jay was never anything but nice to me, I never saw him yell or anything but I knew from stories he had a temper and used to be the school bully but all he ever was to me was good and sweet. He didn't make me feel like a kid and he would take me to play pool and stuff like that. Besides you were once the school bully and so was Mark and even Bianca and none of you are the school bullies or bad kids anymore."

She has a point but I still think the way Jay treated her as a kid just means he had a thing for her even back then.

"So you must still talk to Peter sometimes as he gave you a job but what about the other guy with the odd name?" I question.

"Spinner I talk to him on occasion I guess. Not for a while but he always checks in when he's in town and he calls on occasion. He and Peter both sort of adopted me when they dated Darcy, before Jake they were the closet things I had to brothers." She replies.

"So they're both like older brothers but neither one has any idea that you're dating Jay do they?" I ask her.

"No of course not they'd probably flip," she responds.

We're quiet for a few minutes, I know she isn't going to talk about Fitz or Jay or her nightmare so I search for something for us to talk about.

"What about your sister?" I ask her.

"She's in Africa, after all of that she was sent to Africa to build schools and stuff and she stayed. She's working with the Peace Corp now, she e-mails about once a month, sometimes not even that much. I miss her but she's happy there and aside from her monthly e-mails where she tells us how she's doing amazing work and she's so enlightened she's pretty much forgotten about us. Although she wasn't exactly the best sister to begin with, she preached abstinence and everything and then posted sexy pictures of herself online bringing a true pedophile to the house." Clare informs me.

This talk is starting to depress me after all this and her prom night I'm starting to understand why she fell for Jay's charms so easily. I decide a change of subject is in order, my mind searches for something to talk about and I decide telling her stories of me, Bianca and Fitz in grade nine is a good idea. After about an hour of stories she starts to get tired, after a few minutes she's got her head back on the seat, then it falls on my arm. I'm nearly asleep myself and too tired to drive home so I just lay my head back to sleep a bit before I attempt to drive us anywhere.

"Owen wake up it's morning," Clare says shaking me gently and yawning.

I open my eyes and stretch turning on the car to see it's a little after nine. "Guess I better take you home, unless you want to stop at the Dot to get coffee first?" I prod knowing that Fitz opens.

"No even though Mark's on his lunch I need to get home. Jay will be picking me up soon to go apartment hunting." She tells me in an easy voice but I almost crash the car when she says this.

"Apartment hunting like you're helping him pick out a new apartment for him to move into?" I question although I'm sure that's not the answer.

"As in we're looking for an apartment to move into together," she informs me.

"You're moving in with him? Are you insane? You've been dating him for like a month! You're sixteen there is no way your parents are going to let you move in with Jay!" I assert in a growling voice.

I've pulled up to her house and see that her mom's care is gone already, Clare looks at me biting her lip then releases it with a deep breath.

"They will when they learn I'm pregnant and Jay's going to marry me." She informs me dropping the news on me like a ton of bricks.

I couldn't be more shocked if she'd just announced she was Princess of Monaco! "YOU'RE WHAT?!" I yell so loud it shakes the windshield and it makes her jump.

"Pregnant, I'm pregnant Owen with Jay's baby. He got me pregnant on purpose because he knew it was the only way my parents would approve of our relationship and let him marry me. Don't tell Mark please Owen promise me you won't tell Mark." She begs.

"You expect me not to tell him that bastard got you pregnant on purpose so he could keep you? Fuck that I'll kill him myself." I reply.

"No you won't do anything, promise me Owen please promise me that Mark won't know and you won't go after Jay, I don't you to get hurt either." She pleads on the verge of tears, her voice determined but faltering with fear.

I sigh in defeat at the sight of her, practically in tears and shaking slightly and I nod slowly. "Fine I promise. Are you working today?" I ask.

"Yeah closing again, I'll be closing from now on." She replies relaxing slightly.

"Fine call me when you're ready to be picked up or if you need anything else." I tell her.

She kisses my cheek lightly says she will and gets out of the car, when she's inside I start driving again but I don't go home I drive straight to the Torres house. Going to the basement I see Drew on the sofa and go in.

"Hey Owen," he greets me.

"Hey where's your brother?" I inquire because I don't think Adam should hear this right now.

"Upstairs eating breakfast why?" Drew questions as I sit next to him.

"Clare's going apartment hunting with Jay today because she's moving in with him." I inform Drew.

"She's what? There's no way, Clare's mom would never allow that." Drew shakes his head.

"Yeah well that fucking bastard got her pregnant on purpose so he could marry her and keep her and that's why she's avoiding Fitz. I promised her I wouldn't tell Fitz I didn't say anything about not telling you." I say.

"Clare's pregnant? He purposely got her pregnant? Clare is pregnant with Jay's baby and they're moving in together." Drew says slowly like he's trying to make it make sense but it just doesn't.

The basement door opens and Adam comes down the stairs, he comes over and looks at Drew squeezing his eyebrows together.

"What's going on? Why does Drew look like he's about to vomit?" Adam queries.

**Update soon including some Fitz pov, apartment hunting, so Clowen friendship and Jay and Clare's date night but will it be good or bad?**


	24. I Don't Scream

**Ch. 24 I Don't Scream**

**(CLARE)**

"It's very nice," I remark walking into the first apartment we're looking at today.

"Laundry facilities are on every floor and there are hookups in the closet there. Pool hours are seven to ten everyday same as the fitness room located on the ground floor. I'll give you a few minutes to look around," says the lady showing us the apartment.

Jay puts his arm around me and we turn the corner to the first bedroom. "Little crib there and one of those gliding rocking chairs for you to feed our baby in," Jay says putting his arms around me and both his hands on my stomach as he envisions our child's nursery. "Of course you won't breast feed, keep these beautiful plump breasts nice and firm for me." Jay whispers against my neck moving one hand up to squeeze my breast lightly.

I start to feel sick and I'm not too sure if it's because of what Jay said or morning sickness. I slowly pull out of his arms to look at the rest of the apartment; he puts his arm around me coming with me. The other bedroom is across the hall; it's only a few feet bigger and has one window looking out to a parking lot. At the end of the short hallway is a washroom, a very small washroom.

"One washroom that doesn't seem like it would work," I comment.

"Yeah it's pretty small too," Jay agrees and we walk back out to the living room.

Jay thanks the lady telling her the apartments too small for our needs and we leave the building. The next building is closer to DeGrassi and much bigger and nicer. The guy shows us the rates and all that before taking us to an empty apartment to look at. The apartment is also bigger and nicer with two washrooms, one in the hall and one in the master.

"This is really nice but are you sure we can afford this? I've only been working at the Dot for a little over a week; I haven't even gotten my first paycheck yet." I remind him.

Jay turns to me caressing my face. "Don't worry Babe; I've got money saved plenty we can afford whatever apartment you like." He assures me before kissing me softly. "Besides we're not moving in for a while you don't want to tell your mom until after her wedding and then we'll get married. Before school starts so that you start school as Clare Hogart."

"You want us to get married before school starts? That doesn't give us much time my mom's wedding is August 2nd and school starts at the end of August. I know we can't have a great big wedding but I was kind of hoping to do more than elope in front of a judge. I would like our friends and family to be there." I tell him.

He cups my chin tilting my face up to kiss me softly again then he smiles sweetly at me. "You'll have your wedding; we can rent a hall get you a dress. It'll be simple but I wouldn't deny you a wedding Babe."

He takes my hand interlacing our fingers and we walk back out to the guy. This is the Jay that I want to believe exists, the sweet, loving, caring Jay. The Jay that's tender and kind, the Jay that I'm not afraid of, this is the Jay that I fell for that a part of me still loves in a way, which is about the only reason I can pretend to love him at all anymore. Have you any idea how much it hurts to be with one guy when your heart aches to be with another? Jay tells the guy showing us the apartment we're interested and we take an application before going back to the car. We look at one more apartment before stopping to have lunch, after lunch we look at three more places taking another application from one then Jay takes me home so I can get ready for work. We pull up just as my mom gets home with Glen and they see me in the car with Jay.

"Hi Mom you remember Jay don't you?" I ask as Jay gets out of the car with me.

"Yes you're Spinners friend; you helped watch Clare during all that mess with Darcy." Mom says after looking at him a minute.

"Yes Ma'am it's nice to see you again," Jay smiles sweetly then shakes her hand.

"Jay this is my fiancé Glen, Jay is an old friend of Clare's." Mom tells him as the two men shake hands.

"It's nice to meet you Sir," Jay says.

"Yes you as well, what were you and Clare up to?" Glen inquires.

"I took her out to get her mind off of things, she's been having a hard summer and needed to get away and talk a bit." Jay lies smoothly.

Both my mother and Glen relax when he says this, my mother smiling gratefully and looking at Jay with a new light in her eyes now. He's standing straight, maintaining perfect composure and a soft smile but most importantly keeping his distance from me, not touching me and hardly even looking at me so that our relationship looks entirely platonic.

"Well it's nice to hear that Clare has one mature and stable friend she can talk to. I know this has been hard for her and she had a rough time at the beginning of the summer. I remember you especially taking particularly good care of her back then too." Mom smiles.

"Yes Ma'am I saw her on prom night, she was upset and trying to walk to a friend's house all by herself. I gave her a ride because she really shouldn't be walking on her own at night. We hung out for a bit and talked and she slept at my place, I slept on the sofa of course." Jay tells them in a sincere tone, with a gentle smile.

He's not quite telling the truth and he's not quite lying either and he's got both my mom and Glen looking at him as though he just saved my life.

"I have to get ready for work," I remind them all.

"Yeah I'm giving you a ride it's too hot to be walking," Jay says and I swear my mom's smile gets a little bigger.

"Why don't you come in for a cold drink Jay while Clare gets ready? It's such a comfort to know Clare has someone looking out for her so well. You must be the reason she's been so much better these last couple of weeks. After prom night and her breakup with Jake I thought she was going to be sullen and sulky all summer." My mom beams at Jay while simultaneously complaining about me as we walk into the house.

I walk up to my room to get ready for work in utter disbelief of Jay's quick and smooth work of so neatly impressing my mom. You might be wondering why I didn't dispute Jay's version of things or why I didn't break their hero image of him by telling them he hits me and showing them the bruises. Are you nuts? Not with Jay standing right there he probably would have remained calm and told them I had gotten drunk and was remembering it wrong or something else that would have somehow made it my fault. I have no doubt he still would have manipulated it and knowing my mom she would have believed him! Not to mention I would be sure to pay for it later at Jay's hands and he could have told them right then and there that I was pregnant. But he didn't he promised not to say anything until after their wedding and part of me thinks it's better this way.

My mom already liking Jay will make things that much easier when we tell her she'll be even happier about it, not object and I will start school as Mrs. Jay Hogart! And break Fitz's heart. These thoughts swirl in my mind and make me feel sick I walk into the washroom to check my hair and makeup but instead lose my lunch into the toilet. After a couple of minutes and some gargling I do check my hair and makeup then leave the washroom going downstairs to hear Jay chatting happily with my parents and managing to get himself invited to the wedding! Only about ten people were invited to the wedding and they were all family or friends Mom or Glen has known for longer than I've been alive.

"I'm ready and we should go or I'm going to be late." I point out.

"Have a good day at work Honey; you're getting a ride home aren't you?" Mom asks.

"Yes Mom," I nod knowing Owen will pick me up.

"Good Glen and I have work in the morning so we may not see you. It was just lovely catching up with you again Jay do come over again and Clare is welcome to hang out with you and stay at your place any time she needs to." Mom tells him giving him a tight hug.

Incredible he's been talking with them for less than twenty minutes and he's completely ingratiated himself with my mom and Glen! He's practically being welcomed into the family already! At this point I think my mom might throw us a party when she finds out we're getting married, moving in together and I'm pregnant.

"Thank you Ma'am I know she needs it, this summer's been pretty rough for her and we're only a month into it." Jay says when my mom releases him. "It was nice to meet you Sir you and Helen make a beautiful couple I look forward to meeting your son at the wedding." He says shaking Glen's hand.

"Jay why don't you come have dinner one of these nights? Clare when is your next day off Sweetie?" Mom asks me.

"Tuesday and Thursday this week but we can't do it Tuesday Jay has theatre tickets we were going to…" I'm saying when Jay cuts me off.

"No that's perfect we can have dinner together before hand, dinner out on me." Jay offers.

"Well how very sweet of you Jay but…" Mom starts but Jay cuts her off too.

"No I insist a celebratory dinner for your upcoming wedding anywhere the two of you want to go." Jay asserts.

"Well Tuesday night then," Glen nods.

"Thank you Jay that's so sweet of you, I wish all your friends were like Jay Clare." Mom smiles.

I really have no response for this so I simply smile. "Jay I really don't want to be late," I remind him again.

"Right sorry Clare, we need to go see you guys on Tuesday." Jay says waving to my mom and Glen before we walk out to his car.

"Well you managed to get in their good graces awfully fast," I remark when we get in his car but I do manage to keep all sarcasm and bitterness from my voice. "I'm kind of surprised you didn't tell them we were dating."

"No better to have them see me as your friend and protector first and reveal that we're dating later after they're married and they've seen us together some more so they know I love you and take good care of you." He says with a self-satisfied grin.

"Well it definitely worked I don't think my mom's going to care about our age difference at all anymore." I reply.

"You don't sound happy about it," he says with a slightly suspicious and slightly angry tone.

Not wanting to make him angry or risk getting hurt I know I better calm him so I take his hand and lean over kissing his cheek.

"No I am happy, of course I am just very surprised, you know my mom she doesn't really like me with guys at all I don't think she even really likes Adam and we're best friends. But she couldn't love you more; I'm just impressed that's all." I insist.

Hey it's not a lie it was impressive, scary but impressive and I am happy about it in a way as it will make things much easier when we do tell them. Jay smiles happily again and kisses the back of my hand. He parks right outside of the Dot since most people know about us and my mom knows now that we've been hanging out there isn't much of a point in hiding anymore. He brushes some hair behind my ear and brings his lips to mine, there is love in the kiss and a passion but there's also possession and he's kissing too hard. When he finally releases me from the kiss I wave to him and go inside.

**(OWEN)**

"What's going on? Why does Drew look like he's about to vomit?" Adam queries sitting on the other side of Drew.

Clare didn't say not to tell Adam, the only person she expressly told me not to tell was Fitz so I could tell Adam but something tells me that's not a good idea. He is recovering from a gunshot and he starts physio tomorrow and he just found out Jay's age and met the guy a couple nights ago so dropping this on him I'm certain is not a good idea. Drew seems to agree with my silent decision as he makes up an excuse.

"Think I just at breakfast too fast," Drew lies.

"Dude you always eat too fast," Adam replies with a roll of his eyes.

"Clare ever talk about Spinner or Peter to you?" I ask Adam.

"Uh a couple of times I guess when we could get her to talk about her sister. I met Peter a few times before he moved. Why and how do you know about them?" Adam inquires squinting his eyes at me.

"Because they also know Jay but have no idea he's dating Clare she told me last night." I inform them.

"And just what were you doing with her last night?" Adam questions.

"She worked until closing and got off around midnight so I gave her a ride home since she really shouldn't be walking by herself that late. I told her to call me if she needed and she couldn't sleep so she called me. We talked and they came up in the conversation, she's my friend now too Adam I wouldn't hurt her, just looking out for the girl." I enlighten her best friend.

"Yeah I know sorry, I guess after meeting Jay I'm a little more paranoid than usual with other people around her." Adam admits.

"That I understand," I nod.

The basement door opens and Katie comes in smiling at Drew and walking over to the sofa. Adam moves over so she can sit down next to Drew, which she does snaking her arm around his and taking his hand then kissing him quickly. Adam puts on the TV and Eli shows up a short time later, and shortly after him come K.C. and Dave.

"Is Clare coming today?" Dave asks.

"Doubtful," I sort of huff as Drew grumbles under his breath and everyone looks at us.

"Do you know where Clare is today?" Eli inquires.

I look at Drew and we both kind of shrug, I don't think telling them she's apartment hunting with the psychopath she calls her boyfriend is a good idea but what do I tell them?

"She's with Jay," Drew says after a second.

"He must have the day off but she closes again so she'll have to go in around four," I add.

Eli sort of growls as he says Jay's name under his breath and everyone else has a fairly displeased look on their faces. The subject of Clare is dropped for now at least until the basement door opens and Bianca comes in.

"Owen and I have to talk to Bianca," Drew says trying to get up but Katie holds onto him firmly and glares at Bianca.

"Why do you need to talk to her?" Katie questions not hiding her animosity toward Bianca at all.

"Because I do, it's not about you." Drew assures his pain the ass girlfriend.

"Then what's it about?" Katie questions.

"Fitz," I answer for him because I know if we say Clare Eli and Adam at least will insist on being part of this conversation.

Katie finally lets go of Drew and the three of us walk up the stairs to Drew's room, closing the door.

"Did that asshole hit her again?" Bianca inquires sitting on Drew's bed.

"Not that I know of but that fucker purposely got her pregnant so he could keep her, so her parents would consent to them getting married and they're apartment hunting today." I tell Bianca in an angry tone but not raising my voice in case anyone's eavesdropping.

"Today huh? He must be in a rush to find a place," Bianca replies.

"That's it? That's all you have to say?!" Drew exclaims.

"You knew," I remark eyeing her closely.

"Yeah she told me last week just after she found out. She begged me not to tell you two or Fitz, or anyone at all but especially you three because she knew you'd go crazy." Bianca tells us.

"Well what are we going to do? She can't marry Jay he'll kill her! He's not going to stop hitting her and now she's pregnant!" Drew states but not keeping his voice down so much.

"Dude keep it down if your brother or Eli hears then they'll snap a gasket." I warn him.

"I don't like it either but she doesn't want Fitz to know and for now we're going to respect that. She can't hide all this forever; eventually she's going to have to tell people. She's afraid to leave him and I understand why. We just have to find a way to get her away from Jay that she's not afraid of so just keep your traps shut until then. I'm meeting Fitz in an hour because I promised Clare I'd help him study for his exam and I want to be sure he's not doing anything stupid so can I go visit with Adam now please?" Bianca requests.

"Yeah we should all get back down but we're going down to see Clare when she's working," Drew says and I nod.

The three of us return downstairs Bianca sits next to Adam and Drew sits between his ex and his current which only makes Katie hold onto him that much more tightly, that girl has problems. Wishing to avoid the possible cat fight I sit on the floor next to K.C. and Dave. Bianca leaves about an hour later after hugging Adam goodbye and when I see the clock hit 4pm I get up.

"Going to the Dot for coffee anyone else want?" I offer.

"Yeah I could use some coffee," Drew says.

"I'll go I want to see Clare," Adam says.

"Me too," Eli nods.

"Yeah we'll come too," Dave says as he and K.C. stand.

"I'll go wherever you go," Katie coos at Drew standing up with her hand still tightly clasped to his, pretty sure that relationship is going to end soon.

"We can't all fit in one car," I point out.

"Drew and I can ride with you and they can go in Dave's car." Katie says deciding for us.

"Let's just go," Drew speaks.

Katie pulls Drew into the backseat of my car and rudely tries to make out with him while I chauffer them. Drew thankfully pushes her away and tells her not now. So she proceeds to probe him to tell her what he was talking to Bianca and me about earlier. He doesn't answer of course so she asks me and I don't answer either. I pull up to the Dot, Dave pulls up behind me, we all get out and go in, Clare seems to be working alone so I'm going to assume the other person is on break or something. She smiles when she sees us coming around from behind the counter to hug Adam.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asks.

"It's after four we needed a coffee fix," Katie says.

"I wanted to see you since you were busy all day," Adam chides her.

"Yeah sorry uh it was Jay's day off and he wanted to see me," she apologizes with a slightly guilty tone before going behind the counter again.

She sits on her stool to ring us up and everyone orders then everyone but Drew and I sit down because we tell them we're waiting for the food. Clare starts making our coffee and getting the food some of us ordered.

"So how was apartment hunting?" I question in a low voice.

"Fine, we saw a couple of nice ones." She replies setting one of the coffees down on the counter. "That's Katie's mocha," she tells Drew.

"When were you planning on telling everyone you're pregnant?!" Drew questions her but he keeps it as a whisper.

She freezes for a few seconds then looks at me giving me a slight grimace. "You told him?"

"You didn't say anything about not telling Drew, the only person you told me not to tell was Fitz and I didn't." I remark in a low voice.

She freezes again looking at the table containing the rest of our group. "You didn't…"

"The only other person we talked to was Bianca and apparently you already told her so relax." I assure her cutting her off.

"Look I know I can't hide it forever but I am for now so just keep your mouths shut and no Drew you can't go find Jay and kill him yourself," she tells Drew and he pouts a little. "I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm pregnant." She whispers before turning back to get the rest of our order just as the other waitress comes back.

"Has it been too busy? You okay? Fitz was very insistent you sit as much as possible." The other waitress says.

"I'm fine Laura, Fitz is just worried. Peter tasked him with watching out for me and he's just very protective." Clare replies.

"Yeah for good reason," Drew remarks and I nod.

Laura helps Clare with the rest of our order and then she sits back at her stool but I go over and grab her hand.

"Hey Laura seeing as it's not so busy you mind if we borrow Clare for a few minutes?" I request.

"Sure no problem," Laura replies.

Drew and I gather the drinks and food, Clare comes from around the counter and they sit down after setting the drink holder with four coffees down I grab another chair and sit too. Clare hands out the coffee because she knows who gets what.

"You nervous about starting physio tomorrow Adam?" Clare asks.

"Yeah a little, I'm told it's painful and grueling only Mom is coming to the appointment with me but most people are coming over to hang out and see me when I get back." Adam tells her.

"Yeah I'll be there too since I don't work until four now, Mark has the day off tomorrow so he might be there too." She tells us with cautious and slightly regretful tone.

"So when's your day off?" Eli inquires.

"Tuesday I can come over during the day but I'm going on a date that night," Clare tells us.

"Right dinner and a show, part of that apology that came with flowers and this," I comment pulling her silver necklace from under her shirt.

"Oh that's pretty," Katie says.

"Yeah read the engraving," I say turning the necklace.

"Jay's girl?" Eli states.

"That sounds very possessive," Adam comments.

"I think it's sweet," Katie counters.

"I am his girl," Clare says sighing slightly.

"Yeah and he wants to make sure everyone knows it," I respond not hiding my cynicism.

"So where is he taking you to dinner." Dave questions changing the subject and chiming in for the first time.

"Actually it's not just me anymore we're going to dinner with my mom and Glen." She admits.

Katie keeps drinking her coffee not caring at all but not the rest of us. Adam starts choking on the coffee he just drank, Eli spits his out soaking his croissant, Dave and K.C. are staring at her without breathing and Drew and I are looking at her astonished but with our fists clenched.

"You told your mom you're dating that creep!" I exhale.

"No but Mom saw us together when he took me home to get ready for work, she remembered him, he told her we were hanging out and he charmed them around his little finger. She even knew I spent the night at his house and was fine with it. I'm pretty sure we could have told them and my mom would have been thrilled. So now we're having dinner all together on Tuesday as one big happy family and my mom has no problem with me being with Jay any time or any where including sleeping at his place." She confesses.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" I yell and the whole café looks at me.

"YOU'RE PARENTS LIKE HIM?" Drew hollers.

"Guys keep you're voices down," she admonishes us.

"What's the big deal her parents like her boyfriend isn't that good?" Katie shrugs.

"He's too old for her," K.C. says.

"We don't like him," Eli tells her.

"We don't trust him," Adam adds.

"You guys he's my boyfriend, we're in love," she says the last part slowly and quietly but keeps her voice even. "I should get back to work." She sighs standing up but I'm not about to let her go that easily.

I catch her arm lightly pulling her back down but she was trying to walk away and she sort of falls into my lap.

"Clare you…" I start to argue wanting to tell her she has to tell her parents, that she needs to talk to Fitz, that this whole thing is stupid and dangerous but she cuts me off.

"Owen stop Jay is not up for discussion he's my boyfriend and you know…" she pauses biting her lip and looking at Drew and the rest of the table. "He's my boyfriend, youdon't have to like him but you do have to accept that."

I sigh but having this discussion while everyone else is here probably not the best idea. "You'll call me when you're ready to be picked up tonight?" I ask her with an edge of defeat in my voice.

"Of course but can you let go of me now?" She requests.

"Huh oh sorry," I reply letting go of her.

I was so angry at Jay and his manipulation of her parents not to mention his purposely getting her pregnant I actually forgot I was holding her arm or that she was still on my lap. You know I'm angry when I forget I have a pretty girl on my lap. Clare goes back behind the counter and we hang out for a short time drinking our coffees then leave waving to Clare. I drop Drew and Katie back at his place, he sits in front with me this time, then I drive home to have dinner but just as I'm pulling up to my house Fitz calls so I turn off the car and answer.

"Hey buddy how was studying with Bianca?" I question.

"Fine, we got a lot done," he says but he doesn't sound happy. "Bianca said you guys might go by the Dot tonight." He comments as a not a so subtle way of asking how Clare is.

"She's putting on a brave face; I know she misses you though. Her Mom saw her with Jay and didn't flip out." I inform him.

"WHAT? WHY THE FUCK NOT?!" Fitz hollers into the phone and I have to hold it away from my ear.

"He didn't tell them they were dating and her mom remembered Jay form when he helped Clare when her sister was going through that stuff. He manipulated her mom and her future stepdad and they love him. Her mom said Clare could spend all the time she wanted with Jay and even sleep at his place." I enlighten him.

"That fucking asshole I'm going to k…" he starts and I interrupt him.

"Not do anything I know how you feel man but if you try something you could end up hurting Clare, you'll definitely stress her out and she'll be worried about Jay coming after you." I remind him.

He's silent for a long minute then finally sighs heavily in defeat. "Yeah I know, hey thanks for looking after her." He says.

"Dude it's no problem she's my friend too, I'll pick her up after work again tonight so she's not walking home." I tell him.

"Thanks how's she doing with closing shifts?" He asks.

"Good she's doing good at work," I reply and we fall silent again.

"I should eat and get to sleep thanks again I know she's your friend too but dropping her off, picking her up and all that it's…" he starts rambling and I cut him off.

"Dude shut up will you it's no big deal and I want to keep her safe and make sure she's okay too. Go eat and get to sleep man I'll talk to you tomorrow. Clare says you're off tomorrow and Adam starts physio you should drop by." I tell him.

"Yeah cool see you tomorrow," Fitz says and hangs up.

I get out of the car and go in the house to have dinner, I can smell Mom's roast chicken before I even go in and I'm starving.

**(CLARE)**

We were about ten minutes from closing and the café was empty anyway so we had started cleaning. Then the phone rang startling us both in the otherwise quiet café.

"The Dot," Laura answers, "hey what's…oh god…yeah I'll be there as soon as I can." She says and hangs up.

"What's the matter?" I ask her.

"That was my boyfriend he crashed his motorcycle and he's in the hospital. I know you've never closed on your own before but…"

"It's fine I helped Spin and Pete close many times go be with your boyfriend he needs you." I insist.

She smiles gratefully and quickly walks to the back to get her stuff and go, once she's gone I make sure the back door is locked tight then I go back out front locking the door and starting to draw the blinds. A knock on the glass startles me and I look over to see Jay standing at the door. I go over and open the door to let him in and lock it behind him again.

"You have to work tomorrow what are you doing here?" I ask as I continue to close the blinds.

"I thought I'd take you home with me, since your mom says it's okay." He enlightens me.

"Great I just need to close up and we can go let me call Owen and tell him he doesn't need to pick me up." I reply going to the employee lounge to get my cell to call Owen and Jay follows me.

"Owen?" Jay questions not hiding his jealousy.

"You met him Jay twice, he's tall with dark hair we're only friends and we've only been friends for the last few weeks. He lives close to me, has his own car and doesn't mind coming out at midnight to get me so I don't have to walk home." I explain.

"Well that's nice of him, so long as you're just friends," he states with a tone that tells me in that says if we're not he's going to hurt Owen and me.

"We're just friends Jay; I assure you Owen only thinks of me as a friend and has never been attracted to me." I assure him taking my cell from my locker and calling Owen.

"Hey you done already?" He questions when he answers.

"Actually I'm calling because I don't need a ride tonight, Jay's here and I'm sleeping at his place tonight." I inform him while smiling at Jay.

"Are you sure? You going to be okay? I'll still come down there." Owen offers.

"No that's okay I am," I reply since Jay is standing right there and I have to be careful of my words.

"Okay if something happens or you need me then call," he insists.

"I will, see you tomorrow thanks Owen." I respond.

"Yeah bye Clare and be careful," he tells me and hangs up.

"Are you closing by yourself?" He questions looking around.

"Laura was just here she left early because her boyfriend was in an accident. I know how to close I watched Peter and Spinner do it tons of times and I even helped." I remind him.

"I know but let me help I helped Spinner close up too." He says going into the kitchen for the spray and rag we use to wipe down the tables.

I also grab a bottle of spray and a rag, then I start wiping down the tables at the other end, starting with the booths. Suddenly Jay stops what he's doing and comes over coming up behind me.

"I thought you were cleaning those tables?" I chuckle lightly. I stop laughing and my breathing hitches when his hands get placed on my hips and his lips begin trailing kisses down my neck. "Jay I have to close up so we can go home." I argue trying to push him away.

I'm exhausted, not at all horny and we really do need to close up but of course none of this matters to Jay right now.

"But you look hot when you're cleaning," he says in a husky voice.

"You think I look hot while cleaning?" I question.

"Very, your breasts pressed against the table, your ass wiggling." He whispers with his tone full of lust.

"Jay we're at the Dot just wait until we get home," I assert turning and pushing him away a bit.

"That makes it even hotter," he replies grabbing my wrist tightly and squeezing hard.

He rips the rag and spray bottle from me tossing them aside before I realize what's happening he has me facing the table again and then bends me forward so I'm pressed against the table, my breasts being squished into the metal table.

"Jay…" I try but he pushes my already bruised face into the table and I whimper in pain.

"I want you now Babe, always wanted to have sex in the Dot. I'll help you clean up after," he states his tone is nothing but lustful and lecherous.

I can't fight from this position and even if I do or try and scream he'll still rape me and I'll probably get beaten badly as well. He lifts up my skirt and pulls down my panties; I press my hands into the table lifting my body up a bit as tears start to crowd the corners of my eyes. He spreads my legs and I take a deep breath because I know what's coming. He does open my pussy lips at least and then his dick is slammed into me! His body hits mine with jarring force and I hit the edge of the table so hard I almost throw up. The pain is nearly unbearable, searing, stinging and spreading through my lower half. I scream out with a shrill cry that dissolves into an agonized whimper.

He's all the way in and he sits there for just a second then he pulls out quickly and slams back in! He doesn't slow down at all and every time he slams into me my torso slams into the edge of the table with horrible force. My tears are hitting the table making a salty lake of pain on the cold metal, I can hardly breathe, my stomach hurts and I'm sure I'm going to vomit! I can hardly breathe between the way he's fucking me, being pressed into the table and my sobbing. The only solace in the fact that he's fucking me so hard is that he's soon done. He makes a primal sounding grunt with one more final slam and then stops moving. He pulls out slowly, letting go of me and I start shaking; not trembling with pleasure like after making love to Fitz just shaking, shivering with disgust or shame or simply because I'm in so much pain and feel so terrible ill I can't be sure.

"Oh that was fucking fantastic we'll have to have sex in here again some time." Jay remarks as I hear him zip up and then he fixes my panties and skirt. "We better clean up over here extra good, I'll get us some water that was fucking fantastic Babe.

I hear him walking behind the counter as I grip the table and slowly slide into the bench to sit. Even sitting hurts, stings and smarts and I hiss in a sharp breath because of the pain. I take a couple deep breaths and manage to stop crying but I can't stop shaking and now I've broken into a cold sweat and I feel like vomiting.

"Here Babe drink some water," Jay says holding the bottle out to me.

"I don't feel so good," I tell him.

He puts the bottle down and looks at me a second. "You look kind of pale, you sure they haven't been working you too hard here?" He questions but I can't reply. "Stretch out on the bench I'll finish closing up." He says.

I move and lean against the wall stretching out on the bench, Jay cleans the table really well but thinks the puddle on it is my drool and makes a crude comment. He also cleans that spot of the floor that was beneath us really well, then he quickly wipes down the counter, other tables and sweeps the floor. Lastly he starts counting the money in the cash drawer and closing out. I'm still shaking but I've had the whole bottle of water and I feel like throwing up so I force myself to stand and start walking for the washroom.

"I'll be done in a few minutes and I'll take you home Babe," he tells me as I walk past him.

"I have to use the washroom and I'll grab my stuff from the locker." I tell him in as steady a voice as I'm able to manage just then.

Moving as fast as I can I go into the girl's washroom without even turning the light on just pushing a stall door open in the pitch black washroom and up comes my dinner and anything else in my stomach. I feel better and worse now, I feel woozy, dizzy and very weak, I stand and feel around until I find a sink and rinse my mouth out. I manage to get out of the washroom but the room is starting to spin.

"J…Jay," I call in a frail voice as I brace my hand against the wall.

"You call me Babe?" I hear him calling from the employee lounge so he must be locking up the cash drawer.

I can just make out the door and take a few shaky steps to the door pushing it open. "I don't feel…" the end of my sentence never makes it from my lips as I slip into the peaceful black of unconsciousness!

**Update soon from right about here. There will be Fitz pov in the next chapter. Also the guys and Bianca finding out Clare passed out and why. And maybe the dinner with Helen and Glen if I can fit it in.**


	25. I'll Be Holding onto You til You Let Go

**So it's super long and I didn't even get to the dinner with Clare's parents.**

**Ch. 25 I'll Be Holding onto You til You Let Go**

**(FITZ)**

I looked at the clock on the night stand, it was only 6:30 in the morning and I had the day off but I was wide awake now. I was awake, bored and hungry but eating like by myself sounded too depressing so I grabbed my phone and called Owen.

"Dude it's not even seven and it's summer, isn't this your day off don't you sleep in?" Owen grumbled in a sleep cracked voice on the other end of the line.

"I'm usually awake at like four; this is sleeping in for me. You want to get breakfast?" I query.

"Yeah sure, meet you at the Queen Street Diner in twenty, if you get there first order lots of coffee." Owen yawns.

"No problem see you in a bit," I said and hung up.

Getting up and dressed in a pair of jeans, black t-shirt and black sneakers I left my apartment. It was only a ten minute drive from my place to the diner and I made it there before Owen. I was seated and ordered two coffees from the waitress before looking at the menu. I wasn't very hungry; I hadn't been very hungry in days, not since Clare had threatened me into staying away from her. The waitress brought our coffee and Owen sat down at the table.

"Sweet coffee," Owen said putting a bunch of cream and sugar in his.

I put sugar in mine and looked at Owen, I wanted to ask about Clare but I didn't want him to think that was the only reason I'd asked him to meet for breakfast. Stirring the sugar into the coffee with a blank look on my face I felt Owen quick me under the table lightly.

"Dude you look all sad, it's depressing this early in the morning." Owen scolded as the waitress came to get our order. Owen ordered chocolate chip pancakes with hash browns and bacon, I only ordered a single pancake and a side of bacon. "That's it? You're used to eating this early and that's it? You normally eat six times that!" Owen stated when the waitress left.

"Haven't been hungry lately," I shrugged.

"Dude this is just sad, it's not like she rejected you or told you it would never happen. She told you to stay away because she's afraid of what Jay will do if he finds out about you two." Owen reminds me.

"Yeah I know but that's worse in a way, I mean I had her, she was mine. Well she was sort of mine, she was cheating on Jay but he's an abusive asshole pedophile so who cares. I know she loves me but I lost her to him and not because she loves him more but because she's afraid of him or whatever." I respond.

"I know it sucks but this isn't going to last forever she'll leave him eventually she's just too scared right now. I keep telling her we'll find a way to get her away from Jay that she's comfortable with, so does Drew and Bianca." Owen tells me.

"Yeah I know but it still hurts to know she's with him and not with me and she's not going to be. How is she? Did you pick her up last night?" I question.

"She's fine but I didn't pick her up, she called me and told me Jay was there to get her and she'd be sleeping at his place. I asked her if she was sure and she said she was so I told her to call me if she needed me." Owen informs me.

"Well have you heard from her this morning do you know she's okay?" I inquire as the waitress brings our food.

"Fitz it's barely seven in the morning I highly doubt the girl's even awake yet. I'm sure that she'll call me when she needs a ride to Adam's. Speaking of which he starts physio today you should come hang out." Owen suggests.

"What about Clare?" I question as Owen takes a huge bite of food.

"Like I said she'll call me when she's ready to be picked up and you can leave then if you really want to but she can't blame you for being at Adam's." Owen points out.

"Cool," I nod and go back to eating.

"So how's studying with Bianca going?" Owen asks.

"Good, I get a lot more done when I'm not distracted by wanting to like kiss the tutor or whatever." I reply.

We're mostly like silent for the rest of breakfast because Owen spends most of the time stuffing his face. When the check comes I pay since I dragged him out so early.

"Let's go to Drew's, the basement door is never locked, B should be there soon and we can always wake Drew up." Owen says as we leave the diner.

"Okay I'll follow you or whatever." I reply and we get into our cars.

The drive to the Torres house takes about twenty minutes and I park behind Owen, we go to the basement door and it's unlocked so we go in. Sitting on the sofa Owen turns on the TV and flips through the channels until he gets to the sports channel. We watch for a while and then Drew comes down the stairs with a bowl of cereal, he sees us and waves his spoon after taking a bite.

"Hey, how long have you guys been here?" Drew asks after swallowing his bite.

"About 45 minutes we already ate Fitz slept in until about 6:30 and then called me to have breakfast. Adam still sleeping?" Owen questions.

"Yeah probably, he's not looking forward to physio today." Drew replies and takes another bite of cereal.

"When's his appointment?" I ask.

"One," Drew responds.

The three of us go back to watching sports until Adam comes down the stairs about an hour later.

"Morning guys," Adam yawns and sits on the sofa.

"Aren't you eating?" Drew asks his brother.

"Mom's making me French toast," Adam tells him then looks at us. "You two are here awfully early and isn't Clare usually with one of you?" Adam inquires.

"Yeah well she spent the night at the boyfriends place," I say with great bitterness in my tone.

"She did what?" Drew questions.

"Yeah well her Mom did say she could stay over anytime since she likes Jay so much," I remind them with bitter venom in each word.

"I still can't believe her parents fell for that creep's story, I know Clare said she's in love with the guy but I don't like him and I don't trust him." Adam says.

We fall silent as we hear the footsteps coming down the basement steps; Audra is holding a plate of French toast and juice for Adam.

"Good morning boys, is anyone else hungry?" Audra asks giving Adam his breakfast.

"No we all ate Mom," Drew answers for us.

Audra smiles and goes back upstairs while Adam begins eating.

"No one trusts him and for good reason," Drew says.

Adam stops eating and looks at his brother. "Why what do you know?" Adam inquires.

"Just that uh…he's…" Drew stumbles over an answer for his brother since he can't like tell him that Jay's a fucking abusive bastard.

"We just don't trust him, seen his type before." Owen explains and Drew nods.

Adam seems to accept this explanation as he continues eating and watching the recap of the baseball game with us. Eli arrives just after Adam finishes eating and Bianca shows up just after ten, Eli and Adam have started playing video games and then Owen's phone rings and I see Clare's name on the display.

"Uh I should get going, good luck today Adam," I say standing up and waving to others.

"Thanks Fitz," Adam smiles.

"Hey," Owen says when he answers, "you ready to be picked up?" Owen asks into the phone standing up too.

"I'm going to walk Fitz and Owen out," Bianca says hopping up.

"Uh yeah I'll go with you," Drew nods also getting up.

I open the sliding glass door and the three of them follow me out with Owen still on the phone.

"If you're not at Jay's then where…YOU'RE WHERE? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL?!" Owen hollers and we all stop and look at him.

I freeze and feel my heart like drop, the thought of her in the hospital makes me feel sick and I know she's in there because that fucking asshole did something.

"Then why are you in the hospital?...Yeah I'm on my way, be there in ten minutes." Owen says then hangs up and we all look at him.

"What happened what did he do to her?" I question realizing my fists have clenched.

"She says he didn't hit her," is Owen's only reply.

"What hospital is she in?" I question.

"Dude you can't go down there," Owen says.

"Like hell I can't, she's in the hospital! Tell me what hospital she's in Owen!" I demand.

"Fitz you can't go down there, what if Jay's there and he sees you?" Owen questions.

"GOOD THEN I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM IT'LL SAVE ME A TRIP!" I yell.

"Fitz keep your voice down Adam and Eli will hear you." Drew warns me.

"Fitz you can't kill him and you can't go down there. I'll pick her up; I'll take care of her and tell you what happened. If you go out for Jay's blood she's just going to worry about you." Owen advises putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Owen's right, whatever happened if Clare's stressing out over you trying to fight with Jay it's going to make things worse. Come on we'll go study for your exam and Owen will call us after he's picked Clare up and he knows what happened, right Owen?" Bianca questions taking my hand and pulling me toward the car.

"Yeah I will soon as I know something and I'll bring her back here," Owen assures me.

"Tell Adam I'll be back later, come on Fitz we'll go in your car." Bianca says.

Drew waves to us going back into the basement, Bianca and I get into my car and Owen into his. I drive us to the school and we hike down to what I know think of as mine and Clare's spot even though I haven't been here with Clare in a couple of weeks. Bianca picks up a science book and starts asking me questions from it about chemistry but I'm not really paying attention. The only thing I can think of is Clare, why she's in the hospital and what that bastard might have done to her.

"Fitz pay attention!" Bianca reprimands me throwing a pebble at my chest.

"Sorry I just can't too worried," I reply.

"Owen is picking Clare up, he'll take care of her and he's taking her back to Drew's where he and Adam and Eli are." Bianca tried to assure me but this didn't comfort me much.

I wasn't really worried about her being taken care of now I was worried about why she was in the hospital to begin with. I was going to tell her this but my phone rang before I could. I pulled it from my pocket and saw Owen's name, letting out a breath that I would hopefully get some answers.

"Hey, did you get her? Is she okay?" I ask when I answer the phone.

"I have her, she's…" he pauses not answering my second question, "she says she's okay the asshole raped her and she passed out. They kept her overnight for observation, I'll make sure she rests but she insists on going to work." Owen tells me.

"_Of course that fucking asshole raped her! She'd never have sex with him otherwise!" _I yell in my head, clenching my jaw and looking at Bianca.

"She shouldn't go to work, she was in the hospital!" I assert.

"That's what I said but she's insistent I'll watch her." Owen tells me.

"I'm going to go find Jay and kill him!" I respond because I have no other response.

"That's what I said, she wouldn't let me either." Owen says.

The next thing I hear is Clare's desperately pleading voice but I can't make out what she's saying. I hear the phone go away from Owen's ear and then I hear her soft melodic voice.

"Mark you can't, don't do anything I'm fine okay the doctor said it was stress that was all. Jay didn't hit me, don't do anything Mark please I can't stand to think of you getting hurt." She begs, her voice is thin, strained by tears and fear.

"Clare…" I start my voice and heart breaking together thinking of her in pain, being hurt at all and worrying about me.

"It's me again," Owen says and I nod like he can see me. "Just stay with Bianca, I will call Bianca to make sure you're with her. I'll watch her Fitz don't worry. We're at her house she's going to change and I'll take her to Drew's." Owen tells me.

"Yeah thanks, call you later." I say and hang up.

"So what did Owen say?" Bianca asks me.

"Jay raped her and she passed out, the doctors said it was stress. She won't let me go kill Jay." I tell Bianca and punch my fist into the ground so hard I scratch some skin from my knuckles.

"She's right and if you go down to fight Jay she's just going to worry. I know you love Clare and the last thing you want to do is cause her more stress right?" Bianca questions and I nod. "Okay let's go, it's obvious we're not going to study today." B says standing and pulling my hand to make me stand.

"Go where?" I question.

"You need a distraction, remember when we were like twelve and we would sneak into the movies, sit in the balcony and make fun of the movie. There's some sappy romantic comedy playing at the Princess on the east side, I bet no one will be there this early and we can be as loud as we want." Bianca entices.

"Yeah okay," I nod.

I don't really want to watch a movie but she is right I do need a distraction and maybe this'll work, it better or I'm going to go find Jay and take my anger out on him!

**(CLARE)**

"Jay go to work, you're already late. You heard the doctor he said I was fine." I insist for the third time that hour.

Jay gives me a look I have trouble placing; it's not quite worry, it's not quite anger, it's not quite pity and it's not quite loving concern but somewhere in between all of those. After I passed out in the employee lounge at the Dot last night he rushed me to the ER. He's been with me all night long, he even slept here and he's been quite sweet and nurturing in a way. He's been the Jay I fell in love with, the one I want to pretend exists always and a part of me wants to stay with him all day if he's going to be like this. I know he won't though, he could alter back to the Jay that I fear at any time and anyway I want to see Adam. Jay kisses my forehead and puts his hand over my belly placing pressure on my bruises and I bite my lip to keep from wincing.

"Jay we're both fine, they told us it was very unlikely that it affected the pregnancy at all I just need to follow up with my OB/GYN next week. I'm barely pregnant remember, there isn't even a baby to hurt yet. Please go to work, they're going to bring me breakfast and then they're going to discharge me. Owen will pick me up or Bianca if he can't, I want to see Adam before he goes to physio and I'll rest at his place before I go to work." I assure him.

"Babe you're not going to work you were in the hospital all night," Jay states.

"Yes and I slept through most of the night anyway all I do at work is sit on a stool and ring people up. I'll be fine; Owen will pick me up from work and take me home." I affirm.

"You should stay at my house tonight," Jay says keeping his hand on my belly.

"After a night in a hospital bed I'd like to sleep in my own room and my own bed and you slept in a chair you need a good night's sleep too. Tomorrow night is our date don't forget starting with dinner with my parents, we both need to be well rested Jay. I'm fine and the baby is fine, the doctor said it was too small to be hurt by that bruising and I probably passed out because of stress. Really Jay you need to get to work." I assert yet again.

He's silent for a minute then lifts my hospital gown to kiss my belly. "I was so worried Babe, nothing better happen to my baby. I'll call you later, I love you."

He gives me a kiss and leaves the hospital room; a few minutes later a nurse brings me a tray of breakfast which includes fruit, oatmeal and eggs.

"Where'd your husband go?" The nurse asks.

"He had to get to work," I reply.

Yes Jay had told them I was his wife already and when they found out I was pregnant with his kid no one questioned it. The nurse tells me I can go as soon as I've eaten and they've checked my vitals one more time then she leaves the room. I eat slowly and I'm not very hungry so I only eat the fruit and a little of the oatmeal. The nurse comes in and pushes away my tray; she checks the monitor and takes my blood pressure.

"Okay Clare I will get your discharge papers ready do you want to call someone to pick you up?" The nurse asks as she turns off the monitor.

"Yeah my cell phones in my purse," I tell her pointing to my purse and clothes that are still on the chair where Jay put them the night before.

The nurse hands my purse to me and I get my cell phone out scrolling through to Owen's number.

"Hey you ready to be picked up?" Owen questions when he answers the phone.

"Yeah and I want to see Adam but I'm not at Jay's," I tell him and pause for a breath, "or at home."

"If you're not at Jay's then where…" Owen starts to inquire but I cut him off to blurt it out because I know he's going to be angry.

"I'm at Toronto General," I admit.

"YOU'RE WHERE? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL?!" Owen yells into the phone and I cringe just slightly.

"Jay didn't hit me," I assure him and I'm not lying.

"Then why are you in the hospital?" Owen demands.

"I'll tell you after you pick me up are you coming?" I question.

I know I'm going to have to tell him but I don't want to do it over the phone.

"Yeah I'm on my way, be there in ten minutes." Owen tells me and then hangs up.

An orderly comes in disconnecting me from the IV and heart monitor, I get off the bed and retrieve my clothes getting dressed. I run my fingers through my hair hoping it's not a complete mess and sit on the bed to wait for Owen. The nurse comes in with a clipboard and Owen walks in as I'm signing the discharge papers. He comes barreling into the room, stopping at my bedside and looking me over intently for a minute. The fading bruise on my face is still visible as my makeup wore off last night sometime. Jay told the hospital staff I had passed out before and hit my face and I didn't dispute it out of fear. But despite this bruise there is not new visible bruising, there's new horizontal bruises on my stomach but they're not visible and the last bruise across my stomach had just faded to nearly skin color again.

"Okay Clare you're all set, we'll just wheel you out to the entrance and then you can go." The nurse tells me.

"Screw that I'll carry her out," Owen says picking me up before the nurse can argue.

I picked up my purse and put my arms around Owen's neck, I wasn't about to argue with him and with the determined and angry expression on his face neither was the nurse.

"Okay, I guess that's acceptable just get her out in one piece and Clare make sure make an appointment with the OB/GYN for next week to get a fetal imaging ultrasound. Remember Doctor Johnson said you were probably fine and your pregnancy still intact but we just want to be sure nothing disrupted fertilization. Come back in if you vomit blood or you have severe stomach pains otherwise hopefully we won't see you back here." The nurse remarks and waves us out.

Owen carries me out to his car managing to still hold me while he unlocks the doors and puts me in.

"Where is he I'm going to fucking kill him!" Owen growls as he gets in the car and starts driving.

"No you're not Owen, you cannot go looking for Jay and you're not going to fight him I don't want you getting hurt. Just please take me to Adam's." I request.

"I thought he wanted this baby and if he didn't hit you then what the fuck happened?!" Owen demands in a harsh angry voice but it's not really directed at me.

"He does want this baby he was really worried about the baby and me. He didn't hit me, he came to pick me up like I told you and he started to help me clean then he decided he wanted to have sex. I tried to argue with him that we were in the Dot but he said that made it hotter." I confess to Owen then bite my lip taking a shuddering breath as I try to hold back the tears.

"So he raped you, of course he raped you that fucking asshole!" Owen says irately through clenched teeth and punches the steering wheel. "He rapes you every time though how did that end you up in the hospital and why are they worried about the pregnancy?" Owen inquires after a few calming deep breaths.

"Jay had me bent over a table when he…" I pause on a hitched breath and clear my throat I can't quite get out the word raped but Owen knows. "He wasn't exactly gentle and the table kept hitting my belly," I admit pulling my shirt up a little so Owen can see the bruises and he growls enraged at the sight. "When he was done I wasn't feeling well and Jay cleaned up, I went to the washroom and threw up then I passed out, I couldn't stop shaking. Jay was super worried and took me into the hospital. The doctors said it was probably stress that caused it and early pregnancy hormones raging."

"Well that makes sense having an abusive dick of a pedophile boyfriend that tricks you into getting pregnant so he can own you forever and repeatedly rapes you is stressful! Not to mention being ripped away from the guy you're really in love with." Owen says in a slightly sardonic yet irate voice, I know it's not directed at me but I still flinch.

"Can you take me home so I can change before we go to Adam's? And anyway I need a clean shirt for work tonight." I request in a very small and timid voice.

"You can't go to work you were in the hospital all night!" Owen states flatly.

"_Never thought he and Jay would agree on something," _I internally muse but comparing Owen to Jay at this moment is probably like poking the angry bull so something entirely different comes from my mouth. "I have a shift and I should be there, all I do is sit on a stool anyway and the doctors said I was fine. I'll take it easy for the rest of the day."

Owen looks over at me, letting out a deep sigh and he calms down a little. "I'll make sure you do. Okay headed to your house but I have to call someone to let them know I picked you up and you're alive." Owen says maneuvering to get his phone from his pocket.

"Mark," I exhale feeling a pain wash through me at the thought of him and new painful tears brim at my eyes as Owen presses some buttons on his phone.

"I have her, she's…" Owen says after I hear Fitz answer and then Owen stops and looks at me, he seems stymied as to what to tell Fitz about me but he finally speaks again. "She says she's okay the asshole raped her and she passed out. They kept her overnight for observation, I'll make sure she rests but she insists on going to work." Owen informs Fitz.

I bite my lip again as the tears break free, I want nothing more than to be in Fitz's arms. I wish he could hold me and kiss me and tell me everything is fine and he'll never let me get hurt again but I can't. I won't risk his life or his safety and as irrational as it may be I carry around this overwhelming fear with me always that Jay is watching and if I see Fitz ever again, if we so much as glance at each other then Jay will kill him and that would be worse than death for me.

"That's what I said but she's insistent I'll watch her." Owen says to Fitz.

I hear Fitz's very angry voice on the other end of the line and while I can't quite make out the words I'm sure he's vowing to kill Jay.

"That's what I said, she wouldn't let me either." Owen says.

I'm not there to stop Fitz and I'm afraid he might actually do it; in fact I'm sure he'll do it. I know he's angry not just at Jay but at me for not being with Jay instead of him. The only thing that flashes through my mind is an image of Jay killing Fitz!

"No he can't either don't let him!" I plead with Owen but before Owen can relay the message I grab the phone to do it myself. "Mark you can't, don't do anything I'm fine okay the doctor said it was stress that was all. Jay didn't hit me, don't do anything Fitz please I can't stand to think of you getting hurt." I beg with a terror filled voice.

"Clare…" Fitz says my name but I hand Owen back the phone.

Hearing him say my name fills me with a relief and pleasure yet at the same time tears my heart asunder. I get a lump in my throat and break into silent tears laying my forehead on my arm and crying in terrible pain, but the pain is not physical and still it's the worst pain I've ever been in.

"It's me again, just stay with Bianca, I will call Bianca to make sure you're with her. I'll watch her Fitz don't worry. We're at her house she's going to change and I'll take her to Drew's." Owen says into the phone, he's quiet for a few seconds and then Owen hangs up. He puts his hand on my back rubbing softly for a minute. "He's worried Clare and hurt, he hates knowing that you're going through all this and won't let any of us help you." Owen tells me.

"You can't help me Owen, not anymore than you are the problem is you want to help me by hurting Jay but that won't help!" I argue as I get out of his car still crying hard.

"He wouldn't be able to hurt you anymore," Owen contends as he follows me to my front door.

"Yes he will, unless you literally kill him or disable him then he'll heal and the first thing he'll do is go after you or Mark or whoever hurt him and then he'll get me anyway." I counter as I unlock the house and Owen follows me up to my room. "He's already got my parents convinced he's the best thing to happen to me this summer. As far as they're concerned he's my saving grace. Don't you think I hate this? I don't want to be with Jay, I want to be with Mark but I can't!" I spit out a little more angrily than intended and slam my dresser drawer shut as more tears run down my cheeks.

"I know Clare, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. I hate seeing you hurt too," Owen says in a soft soothing voice as he walks a few steps putting his arm around my shoulders. I turn and start bawling into his chest, I don't find quite the solace I do in Mark's arms but Owen is amazingly comforting and I find myself clinging to him a little. If he minds he doesn't say anything, he simply rubs my back and talks in his deep soothingly lulling voice that reverberates through his chest. "You should be with Fitz, you should both be happy and I've never seen him so happy or you for that matter as when you're together. We'll find a way to get you away from Jay where he can't hurt you or any of us because I know you're worried about that too." Owen assures me and my tears begin to slow.

"How?" I inquire looking up at him and wiping the tears from my eyes. "My parents love him; I'm carrying his child he wants to get married. Short of me leaving, moving away I don't see how and then I'd be forced to be without Mark anyway not to mention Adam and you and my other friends. It breaks my heart but Mark will move on. He'll find someone else that he deserves to be with, that can actually be with him." I reply shrugging out of Owen's arms to take off my Dot t-shirt and put on a summer dress since it's very warm today.

"Look at your stomach Clare; you have deep bruises across your stomach because he raped you at work! He's not going to stop; he's going to kill you!" Owen says, he's not yelling but his tone is hard and his words pierce through me making me jump.

"I know that, I'm not stupid but better me than Mark!" The words shoot out of my lips with a determination and I mean them.

Owen grabs my wrist firmly but lightly and turns me to him, a look in his eyes I can't quite place. "You better not ever say that again! If you died I don't know what Fitz would do, let alone Adam and your other friends! And me, Drew and Bianca would go hunting Jay anyway."

"This is m fault Owen, I fell for Jay, I jumped into a relationship that had I thought about it I would have stayed away! But I was hurting and angry and let myself believe everything Jay said to me without questioning it. I'm trapped but I walked right into it and I don't want any of you getting hurt or do something stupid or dangerous because of me, I'm not worth it!" I argue back and start crying again.

"You don't honestly think that?" Owen questions and I nod while sobbing. Owen wraps me in a hug again and I find solace in his arms once more. "Clare Jay is messing with your head. If you weren't worth it Fitz wouldn't have chased you for a year, he wouldn't have changed who he was for you even before you guys were together. Even if you don't think your worth it he does and so do the rest of us. For fuck sake Clare we can take a beating if it comes down to it, I don't know how much more you can take and that scares even me and there isn't much that scares me." Owen enlightens me.

"So what am I supposed to do? As soon as my Mom gets married we're telling them I'm pregnant and then we're getting married. If I try to leave Jay or betray him he's sure to kill me or hurt Mark or one of you anyway to control me. I doubt my mom would even believe me at this point, even if I do press charges it's my word against his and he wouldn't be arrested or he'd post bail and then he'll be pissed and hungry for blood." I point out wiping the tears from my face.

"Well if we can't think of anything before then we'll just all object at your wedding, I mean there's no way we're letting you marry that bastard." Owen tells me.

"I'm going to put makeup on and fix my hair, be right back." I tell Owen because I don't have a response and then I walk off to the washroom.

As I'm putting on makeup in the mirror I realize that Owen's right. I know I told Jay I wanted a wedding with friends and family but I'm beginning to rethink that. There's no way I can get married in front of my friends they'd never allow it. The image in my mind goes from a bitter sweet wedding with people I care about there to Eli, Adam and others objecting when the pastor says "does anyone here object", to a fight breaking out with blood and fire and destruction. Okay so my mind kind of ran off with that image but it's probably not far from the truth of what would really happen. Making sure all potentially visible bruises are well covered by makeup I return to my room where Owen is sitting on my bed flipping through a scrap book of my family's trip to Vancouver when I was six. I grab a pair of denim shorts and a clean work tee, rolling them and stuffing them into my purse and then look at Owen.

"Okay lets go but don't tell the others I was in the hospital," I request.

Owen puts the scrap book down, stands up and pulls something from his back pocket. My eyes glint on the silver of a switch blade which he then flicks open and I flinch slightly. He comes over and takes my hand flipping the blade around so it's pointing at me and I bite my lip out of habit.

"Then you might not want to wear this to the Torres house," he responds cutting the hospital bracelet from my wrist.

He closes the blade and we leave my house going to his car and driving to Adam's. I see Bianca's car as well as Dave's and I'm sure Eli is here; when I go into the basement I see Eli, Dave, Jenna, Wes, K.C. and Connor but I don't see Bianca.

"Hey Adam," I smile going to sit next to him and Drew gets up so I can.

"Hey Clare, Owen left like an hour ago to pick you up what took you guys so long?" Adam questions as he hugs me.

"We had to stop at my place so I could change," I reply.

Adam and Eli make the same noise when I say this, it's somewhere between a groan and an oh.

"You feeling okay? You look kind of pale," Eli comments and now everyone is looking at me very closely.

"Yeah fine, it was a late night that's all. Where's Bianca, I saw her car outside?" I remark trying to change the subject.

"She left with Fitz," Drew tells me and I just nod.

We watch TV for a while and then Audra comes downstairs, looking around the room and doing a headcount.

"Adam we have to leave in an hour, are sandwiches okay for everyone for lunch you can make your own upstairs?" Audra questions.

Everyone starts to get up to go upstairs including me and Adam but Drew stops us.

"No you two stay we'll bring you lunch," Drew insists.

"If you insist on going to work today you're not moving from the sofa until it's time to go." Owen commands.

"Okay, not moving," I reply, the others go upstairs and Adam looks at me.

"Okay what's up?" Adam questions.

"What do you mean?" I ask back.

"Why do my brother and Owen seem to know something about you that even I don't? And why are they so insistent on you not moving?" Adam inquires.

"They're just worried," I respond.

"Yeah I know that I want to know why?" Adam queries.

"Don't tell Eli and don't freak out," I insist.

"Clare what happened?" Adam reiterates.

"I spent the night in the hospital after passing out at work. I'm fine the doctor said I was fine and they just kept me for observation." I tell him quickly.

"Why'd you pass out?" Adam questions.

Not wanting to answer this question I bite my lip and look away. Thankfully Eli and Drew come down with a tray each, one with sandwiches, the other with chips and drinks. They set them down and hand us each a plate with a sandwich on it before taking their own. The others come downstairs again shortly after and we begin eating.

**(FITZ)**

"You don't have to stay with me like all day B, I'll be okay." I tell her as we're eating ice cream after theatre hopping to two different really bad movies.

"Dude shut up you're my friend," she replies throwing the cherry on her sundae at me.

I smile and my phone rings, it's Owen and my first fear is something is wrong with Clare or something but seeing the time she'd just be starting her shift, assuming she was still insisting on going of course.

"Hey what's up?" I answer.

"You should come to the Dot and hang out with us," he replies.

"Clare's working isn't she?" I question.

"Yeah but it's a public place and we'll be in a group, Jay can't be mad at her if you're hanging out with a group, I just dropped her off, Drew, Adam and Eli are there and Katie's on her way because she wants to see Drew but she's bringing her little sister so I'm going to pick up my brother so Katie's sister has someone her own age to hang out with." Owen informs me.

"Since when do you have a brother?" I question.

"Since always, he'll be at DeGrassi in the fall." Owen responds a little defensively but he's never once talked about a brother before.

"Okay so I guess we're coming to the Dot then." I reply and hang up.

"Okay to the Dot we go, so who has a brother?" Bianca asks as we get up from the table.

"Owen," I tell her.

"No way, he has a brother? He's never talked about a brother before." Bianca replies as we get in my car.

"I know, but we've never been to his house either and none of us talk about our families much." I point out as we start driving to the Dot.

I park out back since I'm used to it and B and I walk around to the front. Everyone else is already there including Owen and his younger brother who looks nothing like him and Katie and her sister who don't really look alike either. Aside from our group no one else is in the café right now.

"Hey Big Red," Bianca says when she sees Owen's little brother and she sits on the other side of Drew.

I sit on the other side of Owen; the two younger kids are between their siblings. Owen gives Bianca a curious look for the name she called his brother.

"Tristan was at orientation in our group, we didn't know he was your brother." Drew explains.

I look over to the counter, Clare is sitting on her stool waiting to ring up customers, she's chewing her bottom lip and brushing the keys on the register, basically doing anything to not look at me. One by one people go up to order from her but I just sit and watch her, every so often I catch her glancing at me and then she looks away biting her lip, with a sad and longing look in her eyes. All I want to do, every instinct in my body says to run to her and like take her in my arms and hold her or whatever but I don't because I know she'll just push me away. After I don't know how long of staring at Clare and completely zoning everyone else out Owen hits my arm and I look at him.

"Dude stop staring, we're all here she's fine." Owen scolds me.

"Sorry," I apologize and realize there's a cookie and coffee in front of me. "Who ordered me this?" I ask.

"I did, like twenty minutes ago." Owen remarks.

"Sorry guess I was zoning out on Clare so what are we talking about?" I question.

"Katie's complaining to Drew that he spends too much time with Bianca and the younger kids are ignoring us entirely and speculating on life at DeGrassi this year." Owen remarks and his brother turns to glare at him.

"Maybe he'd want to spend more time with you if you weren't such a controlling bitch!" Bianca snaps at Katie and the whole table quiets down and looks at them.

"Are you going to let her talk to me like that?" Katie asks Drew.

"I think we should sit at another table Tristan," Maya suggests getting up.

"Good idea," Tristan agrees doing the same.

"Maybe I should wipe that slutty smile off your face!" Katie spits at Bianca.

"Excuse me?!" Bianca demands standing up and so does Katie.

"Don't act so surprised, everyone knows you're the biggest tramp at DeGrassi Boiler Room Bianca!" Katie says smugly.

"You better watch your mouth!" Bianca warns.

"B she's a black belt don't," Drew cautions her.

"Katie maybe we should go," her sister tries as she pulls on Katie's sleeve.

"Stay out of this you little brat!" Katie snaps at her sister.

Owen, Drew and I all seem to anticipate that Katie's about to shove her sister because we all move toward Katie and her sister. Drew grabs Katie but she still manages to shove her sister, Owen tries to get between them but doesn't quite manage before Katie shoves her a little. I get behind her sister and catch her so she doesn't fall on the table.

"We're done Katie, you're crazy." Drew says whirling her around to face him.

"You are not breaking up with me to go out with that slut?" Katie exclaims irately growling at Drew like some feral cat.

"No I'm breaking up with you because you're crazy!" Drew retorts.

"Maya let's go!" Katie demands.

"No we'll make sure she gets home let her talk to Tristan." Drew says calmly.

"She's my sister you can't tell me what to do with her!" Katie spits back.

"You tried to hurt her; we're not letting her go home with you." I tell Katie in an infuriated tone so she doesn't even think of arguing with me as I move Maya behind me just in case Katie tries to hurt her again.

"I will take her home you get the hell out!" Owen commands in a harsh tone.

"We'll take care of Maya, better than you obviously now get out Katie no one wants you here." Drew says to her, venom dripping in every word.

"YOU ALL SUCK! AGHHH! GO TO HELL ALL OF YOU!" Katie screams in a temper tantrum like a three year old.

Then she screams again and kicks the table we were sitting at hard sending plates, pastries, coffee, sodas and cups spilling to the floor. Katie storms out of the café and there's a minute of silence.

"I didn't mean to be any trouble," Maya apologizes in a small voice.

"You're not any trouble Maya, your sister is trouble and I should have broken up with her a long time ago." Drew tells her.

"You and Tristan go sit down I'll take you home when it's time." Owen instructs and the younger kids smile at us and sit down.

Clare comes over with a rag, broom and dustpan she starts to sweep and I grab her arms lightly to stop her.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Owen, Drew, Bianca and I all exclaim together as Owen takes the broom out of her hands and Drew takes the rag and dustpan.

Everyone else is looking at us now, Clare looks at us and blinks a couple of times, she's not looking at me though she's looking at Owen.

"I'm cleaning up, I work here it's my job." Clare replies.

"You're job is to sit on that stool and wait for people to order. I work here too I'll clean it up." I insist to her.

She turns to look at me now, her clear blue eyes light up when she looks at me it makes my heart like jump and break all at once. "You're not on Mark you can't clean…" she starts arguing with me but I'm not allowing this and I pick her up.

She gasps a little and puts her arms around my neck; I carry her to the stool behind the cash register and set her down. She continues to cling to me for a for a few seconds and then releases me, her eyes start to fill with tears and I take her hand.

"I will clean it up I work here too and I don't care if I'm not on right now. You won't do anything but sit here." I command.

She opens her mouth but then closes it again and turns on her stool to face the cash register again.

"What happened?" Laura asks coming back from lunch.

"Drew's girlfriend flipped out when he broke up with her. I'll clean it up." I explain.

"Uh okay thanks Fitz, Clare why don't you go take you're break." Laura offers.

Clare nods and slips off the stool, I go over to the mess and start cleaning up, everyone but Adam and the younger kids help and we have the whole mess cleaned up within a few minutes. I gather the trash bag we used and the cleaning tools and head behind the counter tossing the trash out back and then into the employee lounge that holds the supply closet to put away the broom and toss the rag in the laundry. Clare is in the employee lounge sitting on the bench; I put the stuff away and go to her. She bites her lip and tries to get off the bench but I catch her hand and she stops.

"Tell me what happened last night," I request.

"Owen told you already," she argues.

"He told me very little other than that asshole raped you and you ended up in the hospital." I remind her.

"He bent me over a table when he raped me," she confesses in an agonized thin and tear choked voice. She lifts her shirt just a little and I see thick line shaped bruises across her stomach. My fists clench, my body gets taller and more tense, my teeth gritting and a desire to kill Jay rising in me again. "I threw up and passed out, Jay took me to the ER and they kept me for observation but said I was fine, it was probably just stress."

I don't even have words and I'm ready to go for blood and I'm about ready to leave to go hunt him down when Clare stops me by grabbing my shirt again.

"Mark I know what you're thinking and you can't. Jay will be furious if he even knows we've been around each other. I'm fine it was just stress and the bruises will heal." She pleads with me.

"He hurt you! You're so stressed out you ended up in the hospital, leave him!" I insist, I'm not yelling but it comes out angrier than I intend.

"You know I can't, I'm okay and I need to get back to work." She insists releasing my shirt and turning to walk out of the employee lounge.

"Clare you…" I start catching her arm.

"Mark please I have to get back to work, I shouldn't even be talking to you. If Jay finds out he'll be enraged and he'll hurt us both." She says in a small but a pleading voice.

I sigh releasing her arm, she walks out to the front again and I follow her a moment later sitting back at the table with the others. We hang out for a while mostly listening to Adam talk about physio, just before Clare goes on lunch Drew and Owen say they need to get home and we all decide to leave.

"Later Clare," Adam and Eli wave together, she smiles and waves back.

"I gotta get Maya and my brother home but I will be back at midnight to pick you up and if Jay's here I'm still taking you home." Owen informs her.

"Okay see you at midnight then, it was nice to meet you Tristan and Maya." Clare replies.

"You too," the younger kids say in unison.

I venture a look at Clare but she looks away from me, Bianca tells me she'll get a ride back to her car with Drew and Adam seeing as her car is at their house. Eli only lives half a block away so he's walking and Owen's taking Maya so I say goodnight to everybody and go to my car to go home. My only thoughts for the rest of the night are of Clare and how to get her away from Jay.

**(CLARE)**

At exactly 11:45 I see Owen's car pull up outside the Dot, I think he's getting paranoid. Laura says I can take off if I want since I closed alone yesterday, I don't mention that Jay did most of the closing duties. I tell her thanks as I'm very tired and go back to the employee lounge to get my purse then leave through the back door and getting in Owen's car.

"How was the rest of your shift?" Owen asks.

"Good, pretty quiet," I reply.

He looks like he has more questions or more to say but he keeps silent until we're at my house.

"You work tomorrow?" He questions.

"No I'm off dinner with Jay, my mom and Glen and then our date remember?" I remind him.

"Oh right, keep your phone on hand so you can get a hold of us if necessary." Owen insists.

"I will and I'll be over at Adam's tomorrow." I tell him.

"Then call me when you're ready to be picked up," He says.

"Did you get hired as my personal chauffer when I wasn't aware of it?" I question.

"It's summer and like 100 degrees during the day I'm not letting you walk." Owen replies narrowing his eyes at me in annoyance.

"Okay I'll call you in the morning then I just feel bad that you're driving me all over the place." I tell him.

"It's no big deal, everywhere I take is within a ten mile radius so don't worry about it." Owen insists.

"Thanks Owen," I smile and kiss his cheek before getting out of the car.

I walk to the door waving to him when I unlock the door and go in. I don't lock the door though as I plan on leaving again soon. I go up to my room and pack a bag for the night as I call Jay.

"Hey Babe," he says when he answers.

"Hi I didn't wake you up did I?" I ask.

"No just about to head to bed what's up?" He inquires.

"I know I said I wanted to sleep in my own bed tonight but you think you could come get me so I could sleep there?" I request.

"Yeah of course Babe everything okay?" He asks.

"Yeah fine I just want to talk to you about something, something good but it I don't want to wait I've been thinking about it all day." I tell him packing the last of what I need and writing a quick not to my mom.

"Okay I'm leaving now, don't stress remember what the doctor said I don't want you ending up in the hospital again." Jay says with a tone somewhere between concerned, angry and curious.

"I know sorry, text me when you're here and I'll come out." I tell him and hang up.

I hang the note on my bedroom door and go downstairs to wait for Jay. It's about 15 minutes before he texts me and I leave the house locking the door as I go.

"Hey Babe so what's troubling that mind of yours?" Jay inquires when I get in the car.

"I know I said I wanted the full wedding in front of friends and family with the dress and reception and everything but I'm thinking that's not the best idea anymore." I inform him.

"What are you saying?" Jay asks in a harsh tone that has an underlying rage.

I put my hand on his arm before talking again hoping it'll calm him down a little. "We still need to tell my mom after she gets married then maybe she can be there to give me away and stuff but I think we should just elope. We can tell everyone else just before school starts and I don't know have a party or something."

"Are you sure?" Jay asks.

"I'd still like a wedding but I just see it being a disaster. Even if my mom and Glen approve of us my father may not and my friends will probably do anything to stop us from getting married. They barely know you and they're wary of our age difference and the short time we've been dating. If we elope and tell them after they can't really do anything." I reply doing my best to keep my voice even and firm.

"Okay Babe we'll elope and then we'll throw an epic party to announce it to everybody. We'll do it however you want, just no stressing for you gotta make sure my baby's okay." Jay says putting his hand on my belly.

The rest of the drive is silent, he's smiling and I'm convincing myself this is the best thing. When Jay parks he grabs my bag for me and we head upstairs, he sets my bag on the sofa and I get out my toothbrush and pajamas before going to the washroom. After getting ready for bed I go out to see the living room is dark, Jay's in bed already in boxers. I set my clothes and toothbrush back in my bag and go into the bedroom turning out the light and closing the door as I do. Lying in the bed on my side Jay pulls the covers over us, turning on his side and wrapping his arm around me to pull me closely to him. His hand slides under my pajama top resting on my belly then he kisses the back of my neck and I shiver slightly.

"I love you Babe, I can't wait to be married." He whispers somehow sounding possessive even in a whisper.

"I love you too," I whisper back.

The words are painful as they leave my throat and taste bitter, a few tears slip silently down my face dropping to the pillow. _"This is my life now, this is my life forever." _ Is my last sullen thought before I fall asleep.

**Update soon probably starting with Fitz the following day and including dinner with Clare's parents and probably their date to the theatre afterwards.**


	26. Paint Your Smile on Your Lips

**Ch. 26 Paint Your Smile on Your Lips**

**(FITZ)**

It was nearing the end of my shift when Owen, Drew and Bianca came in.

"Hey what can I get you guys?" I asked ready to ring them up.

"Nothing we just came to get you when your shift ends, we'll take you to study for your exam." Bianca told me.

I smiled and they leaned against the counter until my shift was over. "I'll be out in a minute," I told them.

"Leave your car here we'll take mine," Owen tells me.

I nod and go back to the employee lounge, changing out of my work t-shirt and into a black t-shirt. I went out the back and seeing that the others were already in Owen's car I went over and got into the passenger seat since Drew and Bianca were in the back looking mighty cozy. I saw all the books I needed so Bianca must have grabbed them out of her car.

"Are you two back together?" I ask as Owen starts driving.

"Yeah sort of unofficially as of this morning now that Katie's gone." Bianca says and Drew groans.

Owen parks at the school and we head down to mine and Clare's spot by the ravine. Drew brought a blanket and Bianca sits in the swing like Clare used to do. I lean against the rock and Owen sits on the blanket with me picking up the science book and begins asking me questions from it.

"What's the point of this?" I ask in a defeated voice after getting three of the seven questions Owen has asked me wrong.

"Come on dude you're not doing that badly, you got over half of them right." Owen says.

"That's not what I mean what's the point of studying and taking the test?" I ask again.

Bianca and Drew come join us on the blanket, he sits and she leans so she's half lying in his lap.

"To come back to DeGrassi and suffer with the rest of us so you can graduate with a high school degree and not work at the Dot forever." Bianca tells me.

"Yeah what she said," Owen agrees and Drew nods.

"The point in going back to DeGrassi was to be near Clare and you guys too but mostly Clare even as friends and she wants nothing to do with me now." I lament to my friends.

"Dude that's not true, she wants to be with you she's just…trapped right now. And scared, she's not going to stay with Jay she can't, we won't let her and she can't hide the fact that he hits her forever." Owen tells me.

"The three of us talk to her about leaving him, eventually we'll convince her. Anyway my brother and Eli are getting suspicious and once they find out they'll do everything they can to break her up with that bastard." Drew comments.

"You talk to her today?" I ask after a heavy sigh a silent minute.

"She called Adam this morning to say she wasn't coming by. It's Jay's day off and they have dinner with her parents and their date tonight." Drew says in a biting tone.

"Oh right he manipulated her parents into believing he was good for her!" I grouse while clenching my fist.

"Yeah he's a sick bastard but he knows what he's doing," Bianca comments.

"Come on we have to help you study, Clare will kill us if you're not ready for that exam." Owen says in an encouraging tone.

"She won't even be in the same room with me because she's afraid of what Jay will do if he knows we're hanging out." I remark.

"He can't get mad at you for going to the same school with her and he doesn't go to the school it's the perfect time for you to spend time with her." Owen points out.

"Yeah I guess you're right. Anyone know where they're going tonight?" I inquire simply unable to get Clare off my mind as usual.

"Just that they're going to the theatre, she refuses to tell us or even Adam where exactly they're going because she knows we'll follow her." Drew replies.

"Okay lets study but if she's still dating that bastard by the time school starts I'll kill him myself." I state with a determined voice and tight jaw. The other three exchange a look, I'm not really sure what the look is for but they all have the same look on their face. "What?" I question squeezing my eyebrows together.

There's a few seconds of silence as they all exchange more looks like they're having some silent conversation.

"Nothing, we'll help you kill him now let's help you study how about English." Bianca says picking up the book.

For the next couple of hours the three of them take turns reading stuff and asking me questions from all the books. I do pretty good getting most of the stuff right but I'm starting to get tired and Drew has to get home for dinner. We get back in Owen's car and he drops Drew and Bianca back off at the Torres house.

"Say hi to Adam for me," I say to Drew as they get out of the car.

"Yeah I will you're off on Thursday right?" Drew asks and I nod. "So come over and hang out, Clare's off too and you'll just happen to be here." Drew grins.

Bianca waves and they walk up to the house and go in, Owen starts driving again.

"Let's grab some dinner then I'll take you back to your car." Owen says.

I just shrug, honestly I'm glad for the company since the only thing that ever is like in my mind is Clare and being alone in my apartment obsessing or whatever about a girl whose never even been my girlfriend but did tell me she was in love with me is just sad or whatever. We go to this Mexican dive we used to go to all the time and get a huge plate of nachos and beers with our fake ID's.

"If you're both of on Thursday then Clare's bound to go to Adam's at some point, just come over in the morning and maybe you can get her alone and talk to her." Owen tells me after our food comes.

"I tried that she didn't want to talk," I reply.

"Then I don't know make her, we have to get her away from Jay and she sure as hell isn't listening to the rest of us and she won't let me just kill him. We have to get her over this silly fear that we're going to get hurt. Not to mention that damn idea she has that she's not worth it." Owen remarks.

"Not worth what?" I ask feeling anger rise in me again.

"Not worth anything, us helping her, us getting hurt over her, fighting for her, anything. That fucking bastard has her believing she's only what he tells her." Owen says in a growling voice.

I can't even respond I'm so angry! The fires of hate for Jay already in me grow even hotter. How could she think that? How could that fucker have her believing it? She's a goddess and anything but worthless and I will show her and prove it to her as soon as she'll let me.

**(CLARE)**

"Mmm I think I have enough time to fuck you on your bed before your parents get home." Jay remarks grabbing me by an arm around my stomach and pulling me to my bed.

We're in my room so I can get ready for our evening out. I hiss in pain as his arm hits my bruises. I was trying to put on my dress, a simple black dress with a belt and sweetheart neckline. But he had me on the bed and was kissing my chest pulling the dress off of me again.

"Jay they'll be home any minute and they have no idea that we're dating you had better get downstairs so they don't find you in my room." I insist to him pushing him away to stand again.

He grumbles a little and stands up handing my dress back to me but holds my arm spinning me around and mashing his lips to mine. When I don't part my lips for him he squeezes my arm and bites my bottom lip, not hard enough to break the skin but still hard enough that I gasp and get a tear in my eye. He releases me from the kiss after a minute but before he leaves my room slaps me on the ass, hard! I yelp a little, a sound he seems to enjoy and then he leaves my room closing the door behind him and going downstairs just as I hear Glen coming in. I hear them talking for a minute as I get my dress back on and zip it up then I hear Glen coming up the stairs. When Glen goes into the master bedroom I leave my room to go into the washroom, reapplying makeup over the visible bruises including the one on my arm and to do my hair. Mom comes home just as I'm putting on my jewelry and she runs upstairs to change after a quick hi to Jay. I grab my coat, put on my shoes and go downstairs sitting by Jay on the sofa.

"You're not wearing my necklace," Jay remarks when he sees me.

"My mom would have wanted to see it and then she would have known we were dating." I respond.

"Good point, you do look hot though I can't wait to get you home." He grins with carnal depravity.

"You have work in the morning are you sure I should sleep over again?" I question.

"Of course Babe, I always want you with me you know that," he says trailing a finger down my chest.

"Then I should go pack a change of clothes and stuff for work tomorrow." I tell him getting up from the sofa to go back to my room.

I pack a change of clothes and a work t-shirt then go back downstairs getting Jay's keys so I can put the bag in his car. I did make sure to pack the necklace he gave me though so he wouldn't get angry again. My parents are finally ready to go and Jay's been ready since before we got here as he got ready at his place. Jay tells Mom I'm sleeping at his place again and she says that's fine of course. We're taking two cars so Jay and I can leave for the theatre afterward and we're going to my mom's favorite Thai restaurant. Jay tells the host we need a table for four when we get there and we're seated right away.

"I think it's really sweet that you guys found each other again after all this time and fell in love." Jay says to my mom and Glen after the waiter gets our order.

"Yeah we were brought together again, it's too bad Clare and Jake's relationship had to end though but they're young and they'll find someone they really fall in love with." Mom says.

This probably sounds terrible given the fact that I was completely broken up over our break up a month ago but my first thought is _"Who's Jake?" _I know you're probably thinking I've lost my mind or gone senile but a lot has happened in one short month and Jake hasn't been around or even on my mind. My second thought is that I already have fallen in love, for real this time only I can't be with him. Thinking of Fitz hurts too much and I force him from my mind, taking Jay's hand under the table and he squeezes it lightly.

"Clare's beautiful and smart I'm sure someone else will fall for her in no time," Jay says not hinting at all that we're not only dating but I'm carrying his child and we'll be married and moving in together before school starts.

I decide we've had enough talk about me and potential future loves because I don't want to think of Fitz again so I change the subject. "How are the wedding plans coming Mom?"

The rest of dinner conversation is all consumed by wedding and honeymoon talk. Jay uses his charms to convince them to go away for a week right after the wedding. He tells them all about a Bed and Breakfast on Manitoulin Island. He's agreed to fix the transmission on my mom's car for free and told Glen he can get him and Jake a great deal on their suits for the wedding. We're only at dinner for an hour and by the end of it I'm fairly certain that my mom is ready to just marry me to him. My mom is literally glowing and beaming at him, and even giving me these looks that seem to say 'why can't you meet a boy like him?' just wait until she finds out. Jay pays for dinner and we leave waving to my parents as they get into their car. Once they drive away Jay smiles at me leaning over to join our lips and I kiss him back. His hand rests on my knee a few seconds before going up my leg to my thigh but I pull away from the kiss before he goes any farther.

"Jay we need to get to the theatre, there will be time for that later." I remind him.

He sighs but buckles up and starts driving. "So I'll be over this weekend after work to work on your mom's car." He comments.

"Yes but I have evening shifts now remember? I won't see you." I point out.

"Well maybe you can switch just for the weekend; I'd rather have you at the house with me so you can bring me lemonade and be there when your mom is all grateful because I fixed her car. But I still don't want you alone with that Fitz guy I don't trust him." Jay tells me.

"I'll check with Laura tomorrow about switching to morning shifts for the weekend. I can go in at seven when Ray goes in." I tell him reluctantly and have to look out the window as the thought of being with Fitz for that long is both elating and painful.

Jay smiles and we drive the last few blocks in silence, he parks and we walk in Jay giving the usher our tickets. We're in the mezzanine right up front and they're quite good seats. I take my coat off and Jay puts an arm around me pulling me to him. We're here to see a touring show of Spring Awakening, it's a Broadway musical and I'm quite surprised that Jay even wanted to come but I'm not going to bring it up. The show is really good and the actors have amazing voices. I do however find the play somewhat ironic given the current state of my life despite the fact that it takes place in Germany in the late 19th century. In the first act there are issues such as abuse and rape. When the female lead is being whipped by a boy and I see the glint of pleasure in Jay's eye I have to look away swallowing hard and hoping he's not getting any ideas. At intermission Jay and I go out to the lobby, I have to use the washroom and Jay goes to get us drinks. When I get out of the washroom the lobby is full of people and it isn't easy to find Jay in this crowd. I get bumped into by someone and when the boy apologizes I recognize the voice.

"Declan!" I exclaim turning around to see him with Fiona.

"Hey Clare," they both say together.

I hug Fiona and then Declan as he tells me he came to visit Fiona for a couple weeks before leaving for Harvard.

"Here Babe," Jay says handing me a soda as he puts his arm around my shoulders.

"Jay this is Declan and Fiona Coyne, Declan is going to Harvard in the fall but Fiona will be joining us at DeGrassi for another semester. Guys this is Jay my boyfriend." I inform them.

"How old are you?" Declan asks while Fiona just sort of gapes at us.

"Twenty three," Jay replies, "excuse us," he says before Declan can ask any more questions.

"Jay that was kind of rude," I scold him as he pulls me into corner.

"You were hugging him and I didn't like the way he was looking at you." He responds as he takes a sip of his beer.

"Jay they're acquaintances, Fiona is friends with Eli and Declan and I once worked on a play." I try and assure him but it doesn't work and I can still see the rage beginning to build. I better douse this before it gets any worse; I put my hand on his chest gripping his shirt a little so he'll bend down as I stand on my tiptoes to join my lips to his briefly. "I love you and you have no reason to be jealous of Declan or anyone else. I belong to you, I'm carrying your child remember? You have nothing to worry about." I insist to him.

I manage to say all this with a smile plastered on my lips and light tone but the words lie heavy on my tongue and leave a bitter taste. Jay smiles and kisses me again, finally clamed down and they flash the lights to tell us to get back into the theatre. The musical is very very good is but also very sad and when it ends I have tears in my eyes. Jay puts an arm around me tightly as we walk out to the car. On the way home he stops at a convenience store and tells me to stay in the car. While he runs in I decide to check my phone, part of me hoping Mom has come to her senses and is demanding me to come home but I doubt it, another part of me hoping that Fitz isn't listening and has called me because I'm dying to hear his voice. I have no missed calls but a couple of texts, of course neither is from Fitz or even my mom. There is one from Owen and one from Adam, I read and reply to Adam's first.

**Adam: How's your date? You coming over tomorrow?**

**Clare: My date was good and yes I'll be over before work in the morning.**

Adam replies with a smiley face emoticon and next I read Owen's.

**Owen: Had dinner with Fitz after helping him study all afternoon, he misses you.**

Now of course I'm thinking of Fitz again, which makes my stomach sink, my chest get tight and tears come to my eyes again.

**Clare: Thanks for helping him.**

It's the only thing I can think to say but he texts back right away.

**Owen: How was your date he hurt you yet?**

**Clare: Owen he doesn't hurt me every time we're together and our date was quite nice thank you very much.**

I know they're worried for a valid reason and they have a reason to hate Jay but anytime they attack my relationship with him I feel they need to defend it. He's going to be my husband and father to our child after all.

**Owen: You'll call if you need us right?**

**Clare: Yes I promise. I'll probably need a ride to Adam's in the morning.**

**Owen: Just call when you're ready to be picked up and be careful I don't want to pick you up from the hospital again.**

**Clare: I will thanks Owen.**

He replies probably with a no problem or don't worry about it but I see Jay coming to the car and I turn my phone off again. He gets in the car with a bag and starts driving home.

"I'm going to take a shower," I tell him when we get into his apartment.

"Sure Babe, when you get out I have chocolates for you for dessert." He tells me taking the chocolates out of the bag as well as a bottle of some sort of liquor.

"Sounds perfect thanks, I'll be out soon." I tell him.

Going back to the washroom I close the door and turn on the water, undressing as the water heats up. Adjusting the temperature a little before I step in, the hot water feels so very good. I wash my hair and body but don't get out just yet because the hot water feels too good. Sometime later as the water is starting to turn cold I hear the washroom door open loudly and the curtain is ripped back. Jay is standing there but slouched over a little, his eyes are glossed over and blood shot and I know he's drunk.

"Get out I've been wanting to fuck you all night long," he says and his words don't even slur that much.

He doesn't wait for me to get out though he turns off the water and grabs me around the waist hitting the bruises on my stomach again. He's kissing my neck but he's doing it hard and his hand is roughly going over my body.

"Jay stop let me dry off first and maybe eat some of that chocolate." I try keeping my voice even and placid as I try to push him away.

"DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TO STOP WHEN I WANT TO FUCK YOU! YOU BELONG TO ME!" He yells.

He then picks me up by squeezing my wrists together and then he hurls me a couple of feet, my back hits the wall and the towel bar before I crash violently to the floor. The wind is knocked out of me and everything goes blurry for a second. I cough and wheeze in painful breaths feeling like I might vomit.

"Fucking bitch don't tell me to stop! Now I think I'll make that ass of yours red before I fuck you from behind." Jay says his voice going from pleasure to a perverse sadistic carnal tone.

For a minute I don't know what he means and then I see him taking off his belt. My breath seizes in my throat, fear and adrenaline take over and I leap up. I manage to push past him running into the bedroom and locking the door.

"Open the door Clare," Jay calls through the door but I only lean against it silently praying through pained panting breaths and hot stinging tears that he can't get in. "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" He yells.

He rattles the door for a minute and then starts mumbling angrily, then I hear a thud and silence. Carefully I peak out of the door to see that Jay has passed out on the floor. The adrenaline starts to leave me and I start crying harder and shaking violently. I manage to go out to my bag and pull the clothes on I was going to wear tomorrow. I slip my shoes on as I see a mostly empty bottle of tanqueray on the kitchen counter which explains why he's so drunk. I grab my purse and lock his front door before running to the elevator. When I get outside I hide against the side of the building in the darkness as I cry fiercely and shake vigorously. After a couple of minutes to collect myself I get out my phone to call Owen so he can come get me. It's a little after midnight so I'm sure he's still awake and he answers right away.

"Are you okay?" He asks immediately.

"Can you come get me now I'm outside?" I request in a slightly pleading voice.

"I'm on my way don't move where is he?" Owen questions.

"Passed out drunk on his floor," I reply forcing myself to take some deep breaths and clam down a bit.

"Good I'm headed over now just stay on the phone with me." He tells me.

I tell him okay and spend the next few minutes trying to stop shaking but it doesn't work and Owen gets there I'm still sobbing and shaking violently. I hang up and run to the car, hugging him tightly once I'm in. He rubs my arm and tells me it's okay until I release him a couple of minutes later.

"What the hell did he do to you?" Owen questions as he starts driving again.

"He was just very drunk and I didn't want to be there." I reply quietly as I finally stop shaking and my tears slow a little.

"Clare tell me what he did," Owen persists in a calm voice.

"Just take me home please, no wait not home my mom thinks I'm sleeping at Jay's and I don't want her to see me like this coming in this late." I say thinking of my mother's probable reaction.

"Okay so where do you want to go?" Owen questions.

"I want to go to Mark's but I can't," I reply in a forlorn voice.

"Why not?" Owen asks.

"Owen you know why not. I would say Adam's but if Adam saw me like this…" I'm saying when Owen interrupts me.

"Don't you think Adam should know, at least that the bastard hits you? And you still haven't told me what he did to you so you can tell us all at Adam's." He states then turns the car in the direction of Adam's place and gets out his phone to I assume call Drew. "Hey I just picked her up from the bastards place, she was crying and shaking, well she's still crying…don't know yet but we're headed to your place since she's afraid to go home or to Fitz's place…cool be there soon." Owen says hanging up and looking at me. "They're still up and watching a movie so they'll get the basement ready to sleep all four of us." He informs me.

I just bite my lip and nod, I'm a little worried about how Adam is going to react but honestly I'll feel safer at his house with him, Drew and Owen with me just in case Jay wakes up and comes looking for me. I'm a little worried about how angry he's going to be tomorrow but maybe he'll be too drunk to remember or I can calm him down hopefully. Owen parks out front and we go around to the basement door, the lights are out and the TV so it's fairly dark. Adam opens the basement door when he sees us and hugs me, but he pulls away with his brow furrowed and runs over to turn on the basement light. He freezes, his mouth dropping open and his eyes narrowing in anger as his fists clench because now he can see my bruises, not all of them but the two on my face which have faded some since Friday night and the one my arm also somewhat faded. They still range from dark blue to pale green and as I look down at my hands can see that my wrists are still red from where he grabbed me and are slowly turning purple.

"Clare what the hell? Drew said you got in a fight with Jay and Owen was bringing you over because you were upset. Did Jay do that to you?" Adam demands, he's not yelling because that would likely wake up Audra and Omar but his voice is an amalgamation of concern, ire and astonishment.

"Yeah he hits her, has been for almost the whole time they've been going out but I have yet to hear what he did tonight." Owen answers for me.

Adam's face turns more to worry and pity now as he comes back to me taking my hand to pull me to the sofa. I sit down between Adam and Owen while Drew sits on the other side of his brother.

"I went to shower when we got back to his place and he downed nearly an entire bottle of tanqueray while I was in the shower. He came in when I was almost done told me to get out because he wanted to have sex, only his language was slightly more crude. I tried to talk him out of it, telling him that I needed to dry off. I told him to stop and he got really angry picking me up by my wrists and throwing me into the wall and the towel bar." I'm telling them but can't go any farther as they all tense up and start talking.

"He threw you?!" Adam exclaims in a shocked yet ill sounding tone.

"That fucking bastard I'm going back there to kill him!" Owen says and I put my hand on his arm to keep him in place.

"Where'd you get hurt let us see?" Drew requests calmly.

"On my back but I'm not sure it's a bruise yet," I reply.

"Let us see," Owen asserts.

I get up putting my back to them and lifting my shirt in the back. Adam sucks in a breath as Owen and Drew let out a couple choice words so they must have seen something. I turn again as I put my shirt down but Adam grabs my shirt and lifts up again to get a full view of the bruises across my stomach.

"What happened there?" He demands.

"Those are from the other night," I reply quietly as I sit down again.

"Yeah when he was raping her bent over a table at the Dot!" Owen says.

"Raped you he raped you?!" Adam exclaims loudly.

"He does it all the time she'd never have sex with him if he didn't rape her," Owen informs Adam.

Adam gives me a scolding look and I look away, down at my hands ashamed, the next thing I hear is Adam getting out his phone. I shut my eyes and bite my lip because I already know who he's calling.

"Eli get over here now Clare has something to tell you!" Adam says into the phone.

Only one thought goes through my head as he hangs up, _"Uh oh, I don't see this going well!"_

**UpdateSoon including Eli finding out and lots more Fitz**


	27. I Die Without You

**Ch. 27 I Die Without You**

**(CLARE)**

"Eli said he'll be here in five minutes, how in the hell could you keep all of this a secret Clare?" Adam demands after hanging up.

"I didn't not really the first time it happened I went to Mark, then Owen, Drew and Bianca found out so it wasn't a secret." I try reasoning but the deep red in Adam's cheeks tells me it didn't work.

"You didn't tell me and I know you didn't tell Eli, what about your mom she wouldn't be so fond of Jay if she knew he hurt you like this." Adam states with gritted teeth.

"You had just been shot and Eli would have lost it. I'm not telling my mom, she's all consumed with this wedding and I doubt she'll believe me." I reply and then wince when my back hits the pillow the bruised flesh is very tender.

"Eli should be here any minute I'll get you some ice for your back and some water. Pretty sure he's going to want to stay the night we better make another bed." Adam remarks after a deep breath and with a look of worry in his eyes.

"I'll grab some more blankets and pillows," Drew offers getting up.

"What should I tell Fitz? And when are you going to tell Fitz you're…" Owen is asking but I cut him off before he says the word because I don't want Adam to hear.

"I don't know; don't tell him anything he'll just get angry and want to talk to me or kill Jay again or more. You don't think that the boy who's really in love with you deserves to know any of this?! It's killing him Clare, staying away from you getting information from us, knowing that bastard hurts you." Owen says his voice is calm but his tone is urgent and a little harsh.

New tears begin running down my cheeks and Owen sighs putting his arm around me in a soft hug. Adam and Drew both return, the elder Torres brother carrying a couple pillows and several blankets, the younger holding a large ice pack wrapped in a towel and a bottle of water. Adam gives me the water while he and Owen situate me on the ice pack and Drew begins making a fifth bed on the floor. Then I hear the sliding glass door open and I know Eli is here.

"What's going on? Adam called an…" Eli stops when he sees me, his eyes getting wide and then narrowing into angry slits. He kneels in front of me gently looking at my wrists, my arm and then my face. "Clare what happened?" He inquires in an angry yet sorrowful tone.

"Don't yell you'll wake up my parents," Adam warns him and Eli nods. "Jay hits her, has almost the whole time they've been dating." Adam informs him lifting my shirt a little so he can see the bruising on my stomach.

"Show him what that fucking asshole did tonight," Owen says helping me stand.

Turning around and lifting my shirt a little for Eli to see the bruise, I hear him make a stifled gasp then his fingers softly brush over my flesh. I cringe because even this soft touch hurts and when I suck in a sharp breath Eli takes his fingers away. I sit down again, Owen helping to make sure the ice is in the right place and I lean against it.

"Remember don't yell but there's more, those bruises on her stomach came from him bending her over a table at the Dot and raping her. Apparently he does it a lot and tonight he grabbed her by the wrists and tossed her across the washroom into the wall and towel bar." Adam enlightens Eli.

He becomes stiff, his features all get very hard, menacing and thin, his fists clench so tightly his knuckles quickly turn white. His face, his entire face gets fire red with rage and while he doesn't yell I can hear a low growling emitting from his chest.

"He's passed out drunk in his apartment I'm sleeping here," I try to assure Eli but it doesn't work.

"Did you tell us everything that happened tonight?" Drew questions.

I bite my lip looking at the flesh on my wrists that's now a deep blue; a few more tears roll down my cheeks and someone wipes them away.

"He was going to whip me with his belt, I ran and locked myself in his room and when he passed out I left and called Owen." I admit.

All the boys tense up again or in Eli's case even more and Adam puts his arm around me.

"Fucking asshole he really has no limits!" Owen remarks.

"Can we kill him now?" Drew asks.

"I'm all for that, he should have been beaten the first time he ever laid a hand on you! I knew I didn't like him, didn't trust him." Eli comments.

"No one is going to try and beat Jay," I say choking back the rest of my tears.

"Why the fuck not look what he did to you Clare?!" Eli demands, his tone laced with ire and venom but he keeps his voice down.

"If you're not going to let us kill him then break up with him and have him arrested." Adam says, his voice softer than Eli's but filled with ire as well.

"I can't," I shake my head softly.

"What do you mean you can't?! He beats you Clare! He rapes you! He's twenty three and you're sixteen! You can't tell me he loves you or cares about you. You're not staying with him I won't allow it!" Eli growls astonished and even angrier.

I stand, the very act of which is quite painful and I hiss out a sharp breath gripping Eli's arms. My tears start flowing again and my body starts to tremble again. Eli puts his arms under mine to help steady me I suppose.

"Eli I can't okay I just can't and this isn't your decision it's mine you don't have a say in this. None of you do, I'm not telling my parents, I'm not going to the cops and I'm not discussing it anymore tonight I just want to go to sleep." I wail in a determined but somewhat desperate tone.

Then feeling the need to vomit I let go of Eli and run into the basement washroom, I don't even close the door as there isn't time I simply vomit a couple of times into the toilet.

"Clare are you okay?" Adam asks from the washroom doorway.

"I'm fine it's just been a long hard night," I reply standing up and wiping my mouth then going to the sink to rinse my mouth and splash water on my face.

"Drew's putting in a movie and you and I can sleep on the sofa, you sleep on the chaise lounge part and our heads will be close together. The others will sleep on the floor right by the sofa. We promise not to bring it up again…tonight," he tells me in a caring voice as he takes my hand and walks me back to the sofa.

Eli's face is calm now and no one else says anything else about having Jay arrested or killing him but I'm sure the talk isn't over. While Eli's face is placid his eyes hold a mix of emotions including pity, anger, hate, concern and compassion.

"I don't have anything to sleep in, I usually wear one of Jay's shirts." I tell them softly then take several gulps of my water.

"I'll grab you one of my shirts," Adam says.

He goes upstairs and comes back a few minutes later holding a simple grey t-shirt; I manage a bit of a smile for him before going into the washroom to change. When I come out everyone else is in bed, I get under the covers and find a comfortable way to be propped up as the movie starts. Everyone remains awake for most of the movie but one by one each of the boys fall asleep. I feel exhausted, drained may be a better word but I can't get to sleep. I'm worried, I feel ill, I miss Fitz and wish he was here with me, the thought crosses my mind to call him but I shake it off and when the movie ends I change it to TV and flip the channels until I find something to watch. When the sun starts to come up and I have yet to fall asleep I get up to use the washroom, I also grab my phone from my purse and while still in the washroom call the Dot.

"Thanks for calling the Dot how can I help you?" Fitz asks in a very professional manner and it makes me smile a little just hearing his voice. "Hello?" He asks again and I hang up.

I leave the washroom and go back to the sofa and the bed I should have been sleeping in. My back is really tender and sore making it difficult to lie down again and get comfortable. All my moving around awakens Adam and he rolls on his stomach to look over at me, he yawns rubs his eyes and knits his eyebrows together when he sees me.

"You didn't sleep," he whispers and I shake my head.

He sits up and stays up with me watching TV silently, when he hears his parents get up he goes upstairs to say good morning and explain what Owen and Eli are doing here but promises not to say anything about me being here. Deciding that others might show up soon I go into the washroom to get dressed then apply makeup on my face, arm and wrists. With a great amount of makeup I do cover all the bruises but now I'm almost out of makeup. When I go back out to the basement the guys are all awake, sitting up and they've changed the channel on the TV. Now that I have makeup on and my hair brushed I look presentable, they all give me the same look but they don't bring up Jay just yet.

"You must have used a lot of makeup on your wrists they kind of look pale now," Owen remarks.

"It's better than blue but if the makeup wears off I don't have enough to cover them again." I reply.

"Bianca should be up soon you can tell her what happened and ask if she has something to help," Owen tells me.

"We should go eat breakfast, we'll just tell Mom you just showed up." Adam says.

"I'm not hungry, you guys go eat." I shake my head.

"I'll stay with her, you guys go." Owen says.

They stay a few more seconds all of them giving me roughly the same look but then they go upstairs. Owen and I watch TV silently for a few minutes and then he calls Bianca giving her a brief recap of the night before. I can hear her yelling through the phone when he tells her what Jay did and what he wanted to do. When he hangs up he tells me that she's on her way and she might have a solution for my wrists. When Eli and Adam come downstairs after eating Owen goes up to get some breakfast.

"You sure you're not hungry?" Adam asks as they take a set on either side of me on the sofa.

"I'm sure, I feel a little nauseous still." I reply which is true but also my bra is hitting right along the upper part of my back where I was bruised last night which is making it ache and throb all the more.

"Are you going to tell me why we can't kill Jay or turn him over to the cops or why you won't leave him now?" Eli inquires.

"He's my boyfriend Eli he…"

"HE'S AN ABUSIVE ASSHOLE CLARE!" Eli yells cutting me off and I shoot him angry look worried that Audra may have heard that since Omar already left for work.

"SHHH! Eli stop it's complicated okay, I don't want any of you getting hurt trying to hurt Jay an…" I'm arguing when Adam interrupts me this time.

"But he's hurting you, a lot and we don't want that either." Adam counters but his voice is calm.

"I know but he wasn't always like this and he can be really sweet. I just have to keep him from getting angry." I say quietly because even I know how that sounds.

"Yeah because I'm sure that's easy or ever works Clare y…" Eli begins but now I cut him off.

"Eli stop this is not up for discussion now please stop!" I beg in an anxious voice as I start crying and shaking again.

"She hasn't slept all night and she hasn't eaten anything, I don't think now is the time to argue with her." Adam says to Eli and they both fall silent.

After a few minutes my tears slow and my body stops shaking. Bianca shows up just as Drew and Owen come back to the basement, Drew has wet hair so he must have been in the shower.

"That fucker hurt you again; I take it Fitz doesn't know yet?" Bianca inquires coming to join us on the sofa and I shake my head. "Well here these should cover your wrists," she says handing me a pair of black lacy fingerless gloves, "they're kind of eighties but they'll work."

"Thanks Bianca," I smile at her getting up and tucking them in my purse.

"No problem," she replies.

The others start cleaning up but won't let me help and I tell Eli and Adam they can't say anything to anyone about Jay other than the people currently in the room and Fitz. With great reluctance and some urging on my part they both swear to keep silent but insist I can't be alone with Jay or stay at his place. I nod but don't make any promises as I know that's impossible. Not long after they clean up Audra leaves for work and a short time later Dave, Wes, K.C. and Connor come over and then Jenna. I sit silently watching people play video games and listening to bits of conversations but around ten I can feel the fact that I haven't yet slept and Adam sees this.

"Why don't you go sleep in my bed, are you still going into work today?" He asks and I nod. "One of us will wake you up before you have to be at work and I'm sure Owen or Bianca will take you." Adam says with a disproving sigh that I'm going to work.

"Thanks Adam," I smile giving him a small hug and grabbing my water bottle before going upstairs.

I hear Adam tell the others that I've gone to lie down as I go up the basement steps. When I get to Adam's room I put the water on his nightstand and take off all my clothes except panties because I don't want to sleep in my clothes and my bra is hurting my back. The cool sheets on Adam's bed feel good against my skin and it doesn't take long for me to succumb to sleep.

**(FITZ)**

My shift ends and I haven't heard from Owen or B so I call Owen to see where they are and if he's heard from Clare.

"Hey we're all at Drew's come over," Owen tells me when he picks up and by the way he says we're all I know Clare is there too.

"Be there in a few," I reply and hang up.

I'm dying to see Clare, to even be in the same room with her I just hope she doesn't run out when she sees me. It only takes a few minutes to drive to Adam's and I park behind Dave's car. When I go into the basement I see everyone but Clare, Bianca looks up at me when I come in and pulls Owen and Drew up by the hands.

"We're going to help Fitz study upstairs," Bianca says and the others nod.

The four of us go upstairs and stop near the kitchen, we don't have any of my books and I know we're not about to study.

"She's in Adam's room," Drew tells me.

"He hurt her again, he got drunk and wanted to have sex, she tried to stop him and he tossed her across the washroom. He wanted to whip her with his belt but she managed to get away and called me. I brought her here, she told Adam and Eli that Jay hits her at least but she was up all night so she's sleeping now." Owen informs me, my jaw and fist clenching when I hear what that asshole did and tried to do.

"Go see her," Bianca says pushing me toward the stairs.

I start ascending the stairs feeling my anger and hate toward Jay rise with each step I take and by the time I reach the closed door to what I assume to be Adam's room it's ready to explode and then I open the door and see her. Lying in Adam's bed on her side, the blanket pulled up to cover her breasts but I can see that she's topless. Her eyes closed and the sunlight filtering through the blinds lighting her hair and face so perfectly and she looks immensely beautiful and peaceful. My anger and hate for Jay gets washed away by my love for her, by my concern and care for her and how very much I want to hold her. The only desire left in me is to feel her skin against mine and hold her in my arms. As much as she's been pushing me away, not talking to me or even wanting to be in the same room with me I know it's because she's afraid of Jay hurting me or her if he knows we were together or whatever. I know she's in love with me as sure as I know that she will not push me away if I get in the bed with her.

I take off my shirt and shoes then lift the blanket to get in the bed next to her. She has her back to me and I see fresh dark bruises, one large spot on her back that's like different shades of blue and a darker purple semi diagonal line across it. I know it's from that fucker throwing her and if I didn't want to hold her so badly I would let my hate for Jay boil over just now. Sliding into the bed next to her, I drape my arm over her holding her close, gently pressing my chest to her back careful not to hurt the fresh bruise. She stirs a little but doesn't open her eyes, she rolls over, her head and hands resting on my chest, her fingers curl a little as if to clutch at my bare chest or something as she begins to cry.

"I have you," I whisper before kissing the top of her head.

She moves closer to me, holding her body against mine as close as she can. Her warm supple skin feels so wonderfully against mine like she was made for me. I hold her close with both arms, one hand stroking her skin gently. She sobs on my chest softly, her hands slowly moving up my chest until they link around my neck. Her crying begins to stop, her breathing becomes lighter and after another a minute she moves her head up to look at me. Her eyes are like sad but also sort of wounded and sorrowful or something, she locks her eyes on mine for a minute and I can only look at her the way I always look at her; like she's the most beautiful, most perfect girl in all the world. Her eyes start to close again and her lips clasp to mine, she's kissing me with a force and a fever like never before. There's an immense relief in the kiss, a wanting and desire, like a deep need to kiss me and feel me or whatever. My hands move to her lower back to hold her to me close as I can. Her lips part for me and my tongue slides between her lips to find hers.

One of her hands grazes up the back of m neck, her finger nails scratching into the short hairs at the back of my neck. She kisses me like passionately but almost apologetically. Tasting my lips as she like breaths with me, I breathe out and she breathes in and our lips never part. She's no longer crying but her body is trembling slightly and I hold her even closer. One of her hands slowly brushes down my flesh until it's resting on my chest again. I can taste the salt of her tears on her sweet lips and it breaks my heart. After several more minutes she takes in a deep breath and pulls her lips away but just barely, they remain like inches from mine. Her eyes open slowly and lock with mine before looking away, her head goes down and she looks between our bodies slowly dragging her fingertips over my chest slowly. I brush my fingers into her hair, pulling some curls out of her face so I can see all of her beauty.

"The others told me what he did," I tell her softly after the silence becomes too much.

"I figured they would," she whispers softly her hot breath like blowing over my skin.

"The bruise on your back I assume that's from when he threw you?" I ask and she nods. "Are there more?" I question.

"He grabbed my wrists when he threw me but I covered those with makeup." She replies still not looking up at me.

Taking her hand from behind my neck I kiss her wrist gently but she still won't look at me.

"What time is it?" She asks.

"About 1:30 you don't think you're going to work?" I inquire.

"I have to Mark," she replies.

"No you don't Peter isn't going to let you work if he knows your hurt. You were in the hospital just a few days ago." I argue.

"That wasn't because I was working besides all I do is sit on the stool and ring people up and you can't tell Peter." She counters sitting up and letting the blanket fall, I see the bruising on her belly and remember what that bastard did to her.

"No you were in the hospital because that fucker beats you! Now that Adam and Eli know we can all go beat the crap out of him. You don't have to stay with him anymore we can protect you, all of us and you won't have to be beaten and abused or whatever by that fucking asshole because he can't hurt all of us." I insist to her and she starts crying again.

She gets off the bed quickly despite the fact that the movement causes her pain and she starts getting dressed again. I watch her a minute before getting off the bed as well.

"Yes I do Mark, I'm trapped I want to be with you but I can't and if even one of you gets hurt that's too many." She snaps as she starts crying again.

"If you want to be with me then be with me you are not so trapped that we can't help you if you'll like let us." I argue trying to keep my voice calm but it comes out angrier than I intend.

"Yes I am Mark and there is nothing any of you can do. You should move on find someone else and forget about me." She asserts trying to leave the room but I catch her arm.

"You know I'm never going to do that Clare, I'm in love with you, I want you, I'm never going to let you go that easily. You say you love me that you want to be with me but you won't. You stay with him out of fear but we can take him down and have him arrested so he can't hurt you anymore." I plead with her.

"No we can't Mark, I can't leave him, I can't have him arrested I'm trapped and if I try to leave him he will kill me. It's not just about me and Jay or you and me anymore or even you and Jay any longer. I'm pregnant Mark, I'm pregnant with Jay's baby and we're going to be married and move in together as much as I want to be with you I'm trapped. Jay is never going to let me go he wants this baby." She tells me.

The weight of what she just told me hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel like my heart has stopped and I can't breathe. I can't react, I can't think and I just stand there gaping at her. She runs from the room as fast as she can and a minute later I hear the front door slam shut. I sort of crumple back onto Adam's bed, my elbows resting on my legs and my head falling to my hands. I sit like that for a few minutes until I hear people in the doorway and look up to see Drew and Bianca then look back at my hands.

"Clare ran out with no shoes or her purse and stuff, I had to tell Adam her mom was mad and wanted her home right now." Drew tells me.

"I should go after her; she shouldn't be running it's hot and…" I'm saying and Bianca cuts me off.

"Owen went after her, he'll take care of her so what happened she looked really upset?" Bianca asks.

"She's pregnant," I say the words slowly because I'm still in shock that she's actually like pregnant. "She's pregnant with that bastard's kid and she's going to marry him." With every syllable I say I get more and more angry and by the end of the sentence I'm enraged.

"Good she told you it sucked keeping that from you," Bianca sighs.

"You knew?" I question with more venom in my voice than I intended.

"She made us swear not to tell you," Drew says.

"She was sure that you would leave her that you'd never want to see her again if you knew." Bianca informs me.

"I have to find her; I have to talk to her." I tell them standing up and running out of the house to my car figuring the first place I'll try is her house.

**(CLARE)**

When Fitz just stands there I run down the stairs and out of the house without a word to the others, without my shoes or purse or bag. I run down the street toward my house, I'm sobbing harder but it wasn't just that Fitz froze or the look on his face that made me run. It was fear of what he would say what he would do and I couldn't be there anymore I just wanted to be home. I didn't want the others to stop me and I didn't want anyone else to see my bruises since I was pretty sure some of the makeup has rubbed off. I only make it a few houses past Adam's when a car horn startles me, I look over to see Owen's car and he opens the passenger door for me.

"Get in the car!" He commands sternly.

"Take me home please," I request wiping some of the tears away.

"Don't go running out in the hot summer sun with no shoes or your stuff. You could have told me you wanted to go home." He scolds.

"Sorry I wasn't thinking, I told Mark I was pregnant and he just stood there." I tell him.

"He was probably in shock Clare; maybe you should have waited a minute to let it sink in." Owen responds as he pulls up to my house.

"I just couldn't, I just know he's going to be furious and leave or give up and I know I keep telling him to move on and give up on me but I don't want him to." I admit to Owen.

"Clare he's not going to give up on you," Owen says handing me my shoes.

"I need to clean up a little and change then you can drop me off at work early and go back to Adam's." I tell him putting my shoes on then grabbing my purse and bag before getting out of the car.

"You can do whatever you need and I'll take you to work when it's time, I'm not just going to drop you off, especially not with that bastard out there and possibly mad at you. You're not a burden Clare, you're my friend." Owen says firmly as I unlock my door and we go into my house.

"Thank Owen," I smile and hug him quickly before going up to my room.

I change into a work t-shirt and then go into the washroom to fix my makeup. Just as I finish and start fixing my hair there's a knock at the door and my first fear is that it's Jay. But when I look down the stairs through the glass of the second entry door I see Fitz standing there, Owen opens the door and lets him in.

"Can I talk to you?" Fitz asks looking up at me.

"Yes you can," Owen answers for me and I shoot him a look. "I'll be right down here," he shrugs at me.

"I know what you're going to say you can just leave now," I tell Fitz crossing my arms over my chest and glowering at him.

"You have no idea what I'm going to say so why don't you like let me talk." He responds coming up the steps.

"Yes I do, I'm pregnant with Jay's kid a guy that you hate, the one I turned my back on you for and you're done. I'm going to marry Jay and you hate me now a…"

"Clare stop," Fitz says cutting me off, he takes my hand and pulls me into my bedroom closing the door. "I could never hate you, I hate him but I've always hated him." Fitz says pushing a curl behind my ear as he sits us on my bed. "How did you even get pregnant?" He asks but his voice is soft and kind.

"He planned it, Jay did it on purpose. He told me he was using condoms but he was lying. He wanted me to get pregnant Mark; he wanted me to have his child so my parents would approve of us getting married. It's his way of claiming me forever, making sure I belong to him forever. I didn't know Mark, I didn't know he was trying to get me pregnant and when I found out I didn't know what to do." I tell him in a pleading tone swallowing back the tears that are threatening to break free.

"You must have been so scared," Fitz says taking my hand. "You don't have to keep the baby you know."

"I couldn't have an abortion I just couldn't it has nothing to do with my beliefs I just couldn't." I tell him wiping away the couple of tears that have escaped from my eyes. "You can leave I'll understand, please believe that I want to be with you but…"

I'm not able to finish my sentence because his lips connect to mine and I'm silenced. I exhale and melt into the kiss my arms going around his neck.

"Then be with me," Fitz says when he pulls away from the kiss.

"I can't Mark I'm carrying his child," I refute.

"I will not let you marry that abusive fuck you aren't property Clare he can't own you. If you want to keep the baby then we'll raise it together." Fitz tells me and I stare at him blinking a couple of times.

"Are you serious?" I question.

"I'm sure Peter will give me a raise and we could get a better and bigger apartment. I don't have to return to school I can work double shifts and…"

This time I silence him with a kiss, cupping his face with my hand and catching his lips with mine. He kisses me back passionately, his hand going to the back of my neck.

"I can't let you do that Mark I want you to be at school with me and I don't know what I want to do with this baby or what to do about Jay. I know I can't stay with him, that his abuse will get worse I'm not stupid but I can't just leave him Mark. He told me he'd kill me if I ever left him, that he'd rather see me dead than with anyone else. The thought of him hurting you kills me even more than Jay hurting me but I want to be with you." I tell him.

"Then be with me, like before in secret and stay away from Jay as much as you can. You don't have to decide everything right now and all of us together will find a way to deal with Jay and keep everyone safe. But I can't watch you with him anymore, I can't see how he's hurt you and stand back anymore, it's getting worse Clare and you've already been in the hospital once next time it'll be worse. Every time I see a new bruise on your skin it breaks my heart and not just me none of us are going to stand back anymore Clare." Fitz implores.

"I know," I nod, "I love you Mark."

"I love you Clare more than anything in this world and we'll get through this, together." Fitz assures me.

I smile at him and our lips join together in a passionately fevered loving kiss, a kiss of reunited love. Without Fitz the world went on but I was dead inside but with him everything feels right again. One kiss of extreme love has brought me back to life.

**And Flare is reunited! Update soon with Jay and some much needed Flare sexy time.**


	28. I will Worship You Like Gold

**Ch. 28 I will Worship You Like Gold**

**(CLARE)**

Our kiss of bliss turns quickly into a fiery make out session; he lies back on the bed and brings me with him. Turning so the two of us are on our sides he keeps one hand cupped on my face and the other arm around me. While one of my hands grips his shirt, the other rests on his arm, I feel safe, loved and an incredible comfort. For a short time Jay leaves my mind and all that I think about is Fitz. Eventually the both of us have to come up for air, our lips part but stay within inches of each other ready to connect again at any second. He smiles at me and just looks in my eyes for the longest time, I smile back biting my lip and move to him closing the very small gap that had been between our bodies as I lay my head on his shoulder. Rolling to his back so that he can hold me with both arms I move down so I can put my head on his chest. We lay in silence for a few minutes, for me I'm happy to just be in his arms again and then the thoughts come back to my mind invading my moment of happiness as I begin to get anxious.

"How can we hide from Jay, he turned my parents on his side my mom has no problem with me staying the night there." I point out sitting up and pulling out of Fitz's arms a little. "He comes to the Dot and dropped me at Adam's before. He's going to be here all weekend to fix my mom's car and he wants me here with him. My mom loves him sh…" I'm rambling in an anxious tone when he sits up and over takes my lips with his to silence me.

His arms wrap around me again and he lies me down with him again, I begin to relax again although not completely.

"We'll find a way, tell your parents you're sleeping at his place and sleep at mine. I'm sure that even if we have to work separate shifts to keep him happy that you and me aren't together that one of us can be at the Dot with you to be safe. I know Owen won't mind and I'm betting Bianca and Drew won't either or Adam or Eli for that matter if we tell them about us. I know they have to be happier about you dating me than you and Jay." Fitz says and I nod letting out a breath until something else occurs to me and I bolt up again.

"He thinks we're going to move in together and get married, we've been looking at apartments. He's never going to just let me go, he wants this baby Mark and he wants me there won't be any way I can break up with him. He'll find out I've been seeing you again and kill us both. He…" I'm getting more and more agitated but Fitz once again silences me with a kiss encircling me in his arms again and laying us down once more.

"Clare we'll find a way ok I know you don't want to go to the cops and I'm not entirely sure why but we'll find a way. All of us together but you have to stop thinking this is hopeless. When I went to juvie I thought it was hopeless too, I thought I'd never get out of there alive. Most of the guys at juvie were worse than I was, gang members and killers and guys that didn't care about other humans at all. Fights broke out everyday and it was easy to get caught in them and punished for fighting. It wasn't even quiet at night and the only thing that got me through it, the one thought I kept in my mind that made me want to get through another day was knowing if I got out a live I could see you again and the dream that one day you would be mine." Fitz confesses to me then captures my lips for a soft kiss. "Find that one thought, that one thing that like gives you the strength to fight and whatever to get through this." He advises.

"You are the one thing that's going to get me through this, the one thing that makes me want to fight." I reply.

Fitz smiles and kisses my lips again, softly at first but it quickly turns into a hard passionate kiss, my lips part as his tongue goes in dominating mine and tasting me. Our bodies press together and I want to feel him, all of him but two things stop me. Number one being that I need to be at work in less than two hours and while it won't take us two hours to make love I will need a shower afterwards and have to get ready all over again and number two Owen is right downstairs and I know that we aren't quiet during sex or at least I'm not.

"I'll stay over tonight and tell my mom I'm sleeping at Jay's. He asked me to switch to morning shifts this weekend so I could be at home with him while he's fixing my mom's car. He doesn't want me to open but I can spend most of the shift with you and he'll be at work. Of course then he'll be at my house," I tell him my tone taking on a hint of fear at the end.

"I'd rather he be here with you than you being alone with him anywhere. He's not going to hit you or mistreat you in front of your parents or other people." Fitz replies.

"We both have tomorrow off and Jay has work and I'm sure I can give him an excuse as to why I can't come over." I comment. Fitz smiles attaching our lips again and that desire to feel him comes back so I pull away from the kiss after a minute. "I have to get to work soon." I remind him.

"To be safe I'll have Owen take you to work, I should probably go home and take a nap so I can pick you up at midnight when you're off." Fitz says.

"No Owen should pick me up just in case but if you're tired then I want you to go get some sleep." I tell him.

"No I'm not tired just happy, Owen can take you and pick you up or stay and drive you to my place. I'll go back to Adam's and have everyone come hang out at the Dot." Fitz replies.

"I love you Mark, I'm sorry." I apologize as he tries to get off the bed.

"Don't apologize you were scared I understand that but no matter what happens I will never stop loving you. I have you back that's all that matters to me, well that and keeping you away from that abusive fuck." He tells me kissing my forehead and then he sits us both up.

I open my mouth to speak but my stomach growls reminding me that I have yet to eat today. Now that I'm thinking about it I become very hungry, my head begins to ache and I start feeling just a little weak.

"I haven't eaten anything, I wasn't hungry when the others ate breakfast and then I fell asleep on Adam's bed." I inform Fitz.

"Then you need to go eat," Fitz replies standing up and pulling me up with him, he puts his arm around me and we go downstairs.

Owen was watching TV but turns it off when he sees us. "You two look happy," he remarks.

"We're back together, in secret until we can all find a way to be rid of Jay that Clare is comfortable with. She needs to eat and get to work can you stay with her and take her to work? I'm going back to the Torres house and get everyone to the Dot to hang out." Fitz informs him.

"Yeah of course," Owen nods.

Fitz turns to me, cupping my chin and tilting my head up to look at him before he kisses me gently and passionately.

"I love you Clare," he smiles.

"I love you too Mark," I respond and then he leaves.

"Okay let's get you some lunch," Owen says going into the kitchen.

"I can get it you can watch TV again," I tell him.

He looks at me a few seconds then sits back down and turns the TV back on. I make a sandwich for lunch with apple slices and sit at the table to eat. After eating everything I return upstairs to brush my hair again, fix my makeup and pack a bag for Fitz's place tonight. Then Owen takes me to work, I'm a little early but it doesn't matter I need to talk to Laura anyway. He goes to the front and I go to the back, having seen Bianca, Fitz's and Dave's cars I know that the others must be here. After putting my purse and bag in my locker I go out to the front waving to the others.

"Laura would it be possible to switch to morning shifts this weekend? Not an opening shift but I could come in at six and that way I could cover for breaks and lunches." I tell her.

"Sure Clare no problem, I'll put it on the schedule." Laura says.

I sit on my stool and start ringing people up, my friends and Fitz hanging out for several hours but little by little they have to leave. K.C. has to get to work; Jenna has to get home to have dinner as do Connor and Wes. When they're all gone I take my break and go to their table, we can't talk in here obviously but I tell them all to go to the club and I'll grab the keys. Unlocking the door to Above the Dot everyone else follows me in, we sit on the sofas in the back. I sit between Owen and Fitz, for the moment Fitz is keeping his arms and hands to himself because Adam and Eli know nothing about us dating before or now but they will in a minute.

"Now that you two know about Jay there's something else I need to tell you." I inform them and they both start to look a little worried. "A couple of weeks ago I realized I was in love with Mark and not Jay." I tell them and before I can go any further Fitz speaks up.

"And I've been in love with her for a long time," he says grinning and taking my hand.

Eli narrows his eyes and twists his face at Fitz for a minute probably remembering the hell Fitz put him through for the first half of the school year. But he watches us for a minute and finally relaxes, his scowl turning into a smirk.

"Yeah duh everyone knows that," Adam replies in a snarky tone.

"Jay threatened to kill me if I left him and whoever I left him for. I'm afraid of him and I couldn't just break up with him to be with Mark so we were together in secret. Owen, Drew and Bianca knew but no one else. Then Jay became suspicious of Mark and demanded I no longer see him or be around him, that's when I switched to closing shifts and started avoiding Mark. I also found out that Jay had been lying about using condoms when we were having sex an…" I'm informing them when Eli cuts me off.

"You mean when he was raping you…wait he wasn't wearing condoms?! Clare tell me that asshole didn't get you…"

"I'm pregnant and it's Jay's," I say quickly cutting Eli off this time. Adam and Eli both go pale, their eyes go wide and their mouths drop open. "We've been looking at apartments to move in together and planned on eloping before school b…" I don't get to finish because the two of them go ballistic.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MARRY THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE HE HITS YOU! HE'LL HAVE TO KILL ME BEFORE HE'S GOING TO MOVE IN WITH YOU! BETTER YET I'LL KILL HIM!" Eli roars and his yelling echoes in the empty club.

"THAT DICK GOT YOU PREGNANT! YOU CAN'T MARRY HIM THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE LETTING YOU!" Adam shouts into the club.

"Guys be quiet and let me finish will you?" I request and they stop yelling and sit tenuously. "I was afraid to tell Mark I was pregnant because I was afraid he would leave me anyway but I told him earlier and he didn't run. If I decide to keep the baby he wants to raise it together, we'll move in together. We're dating again but we still have to keep it secret at least until I can find a way to break up with Jay that won't involve him coming after me or Mark or anyone else." I admit to them.

"Thank god you two are back together Fitz was depressing when he was pining after you." Bianca remarks.

"And none of us are going to let you marry that bastard," Drew states firmly.

"Or let him anywhere near you if we can help it," Owen adds.

"I still don't see why we just don't go to the cops," Eli remarks.

"Because we can't Eli that's not an option, they'll involve my parents and Jay won't be sent to jail right away. He'll be pissed and he'll come after me, if he's angry because I betrayed him he won't stop and there's no telling what he'll do." I reply feeling tears at my eyes and getting agitated and anxious again.

Fitz puts his arm around me and kisses me softly; I exhale a breath and calm a little. "We won't go to the cops, we'll find another way." He assures me and I nod.

"You guys can't say anything to anyone else, the people in this room are the only ones that know anything and that's how it's going to stay clear?" I question and they all nod. "I should get back downstairs my breaks over in a couple of minutes." I remark looking at my watch.

"Yeah I should probably get home for dinner," Eli says he still looks fairly pale and seems to be still absorbing everything I just told him.

"Yeah we have to get home too Adam," Drew remarks.

"I'll take you guys I should get home and get some sleep; Clare's staying at my place tonight and far away from Jay." Fitz tells them as we all stand up.

"Good," the others all say together.

"I have to get home for dinner too but I'll be back after and hang out until you're off so I can take you to Fitz's. You want to come over for dinner B?" Owen asks.

"Sure why not," Bianca shrugs.

"If you see Jay or he calls or anything call me and we'll come right back my house is a two minute drive from here." Owen tells me as we walk to the door of the club.

"I will," I nod.

"I'll see you tonight I love you," Fitz says before our lips collide in a loving kiss.

"I love you Mark," I reply.

After hugging everyone else they leave down the stairs and I lock up. When I get back down Laura goes on her lunch and I sit on my stool only getting up to make coffee and get peoples orders. Owen and Bianca return less than half an hour later, they order coffee and cookies and take a seat in the corner. When it's time for my lunch I go back to the employee lounge intending to take off my apron and join Owen and Bianca while I eat grabbing my purse so I can text my mom that I'm sleeping at Jay's and tell Jay I'm sleeping at Jenna's. When I exit the employee lounge my arm is grabbed hard and I'm pulled out to the alley in the back, I know it's Jay and I press the speed dial button on my phone before tucking it back in my purse.

"What the fuck happened last night? I woke up this morning with a hangover on my floor and you were gone." He growls shoving me against the wall; the hard cement wall hits my back and rubs against the cotton shirt.

"You drank almost a full bottle of liquor and got completely soused, you were scary Jay! You threw me across the room and wanted to whip me! I was afraid you were going to hurt the baby so when you passed out I left. Owen picked me up and took me home." I inform him keeping my voice firm and strong not backing down and shrinking from his wrath this time.

Being with Fitz again, having my friends behind me and knowing Owen and Bianca are right inside has given me new strength to fight. Jay seems to notice this as well, he doesn't look happy and opens his mouth to talk again but before he can a strong yet concerned voice stops him.

"You okay Clare?" Owen asks from the end of the alley.

We both look over; Owen is standing tall at the end of the alley, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes narrowed at Jay. Bianca is standing with him, her hands on her hips, her eyebrows raised just slightly as if making a silent dare to Jay to try something in front of them, to give them a reason to hurt him. Jay stares at them a minute and looks back at me, his posture relaxes and he kisses me quickly before straightening up.

"She's fine I just came to say hi to my girl on my way home," Jay replies to them before looking back at me. "Are you going to come over tonight?" He asks.

"I promised Jenna I'd go to her house and have a girls night, she needs a friend right now and I could use some female company. Tomorrow I'm off but I'll be helping Mom with wedding stuff if I'm not too tired then I'll spend the night tomorrow but I did get my shifts switched to mornings this weekend. Six to three so I'll be home while you're fixing Mom's car." I tell him.

"Good I need my girl," he says then grins at Owen and Bianca walking past them to go to his car.

While I'm sure this talk isn't over and I will probably be subject to his anger at some other time for the moment I've avoided it and I release a relieved breath.

"You alright?" Owen inquires when Jay is gone.

"Yeah I'm okay other than shoving me to the wall he didn't hurt me. I was just grabbing my purse before joining you guys to eat my lunch and he grabbed me and pulled me outside." I tell them.

"Well come in and eat lunch, I have to get home curfew pretty soon." Bianca says.

They walk to me and we all go in through the back, I place an order with the kitchen on our way out to the café and we sit down at their table. They start talking about tomorrow since I'm off and my only thought is avoiding Jay tomorrow.

**(FITZ)**

I got home a little after seven, microwaved some soup and fell asleep as soon as I ate, still in my clothes. I was woken up by a loud knock at the front door and looking at the time knew it was Clare and Owen. I yawned and got up unlocking the door to let them in, she dropped her purse and bag then came right to my arms and I like enveloped her.

"Thanks Owen everything go okay?" I ask him moving back a little so he can step in.

"The ass stopped by he took her into the alley but she called me and I heard his voice we went out and he backed off then left." Owen informs me.

"He shoved me to the wall but didn't hurt me." Clare tells me.

"I should get home see you guys tomorrow," Owen says.

"Yeah see you Dude thanks again," I tell him as we bump fists.

"Bye Owen see you tomorrow," Clare says leaving my arms to hug Owen.

He goes through the door and I lock it behind him then take Clare into my arms again and seizing her lips for a welcomed kiss. Her hands clutch the back of my neck, her lips parting and my tongue slides in. My hands leave the small of her back and I pick her up carrying her to the bed and laying her down. She kisses me a little harder and deepens the kiss, she grabs my shirt and pulls it over my head breaking our lips apart for a brief second but once my shirt is off she pulls me down again connecting her lips with mine.

I've been hungering for her for days, wanting to kiss her and hold her, to taste her and have her but when her fingers start undoing my jeans and pulling on them. She gets them down and her hand slides under my boxers brushing through my pubic hair and grabbing my cock firmly. I moan against her lips and tremble slightly; she smiles into the kiss and gently nips my bottom lip as she pulls away. She bites her own lip and looks at me her eyes clouded with lust and I know she's just as horny as I am. Getting off the bed just for a moment to take off the rest of my clothing before getting back on the bed at her feet, she kicks off her shoes and I reach up unzipping her denim skirt, pulling them down her legs.

Gripping her shirt I pull it off and toss it across the room, then unhook her bra and once it's off I toss it across the room as well and now she's only wearing her panties. Easily fixable as I hook my finger in her panties and pull them down dropping them to the floor. Entirely naked before me now I gaze over her beautiful body and I know she's bruised and battered because of that asshole but the only thing I see before me is perfection. She smiles biting her lip again and looking at me with eyes full of love and lust. I know she's hurt and wounded, that sex could hurt her but as always I will be gentle and worship her.

She opens her legs and I move between them, my lips coming down to caress her soft supple flesh. Her silky milky skin feeling so wonderfully soft and supple under my lips, her soft floral scent is enticing. My throbbing cock longs to be inside of her and I thrust in slowly. She gasps a little it melts into a moan, her back arches and her hands grab onto my shoulders. I move in swiftly, sliding all the way in like I was made for her. Her body quivers, her hips begin bucking, my lips kiss her breasts as her hands caress down my sides resting on my waist and gripping gently.

"Oh Mark I love you Mark! Mmmm yes faster ahmmm yes yess god yes!" Clare cries out gripping me harder and throwing her head back into the pillow.

Her cries and the feel of her like spur me on to go faster but not wanting to hurt her I make sure to not go hard into her keeping my movements fast but smooth. She moans endlessly and her breathing is frantic but erotically charged. Blissful carnal moans and groans are coming from my own mouth as I kiss her flesh and occasionally her lips. Her hips buck wildly and she arches her back more, grabbing my chin and pulling me up to kiss her as she climaxes, I slow down but don't stop until she's ridden out her orgasm.

I don't pull out but turn us on our sides, Clare wraps her leg around my waist moving her body up a little and keeping her lips attached to mine. She moves along me, seeking me out, her body rubbing against mine and our lips never part. She grips my arm tightly her other hand gently scratching her nails at the back of my head. I let her take control and her pace steadily and rapidly increases, her almost frantic movements show me just how desperately she's need to cum again despite the fact that she just came a few minutes ago. It isn't long before the two of us are ready to explode, she tightens around me and I grow inside of her. Then our lips part as we orgasm together both of us making primal blissful screams into the small apartment.

She stops and I slow down as we continue shaking as or orgasms dissipate, her head collapsing onto my shoulder so she can catch her breath. I pull out slowly causing her to whimper and tremble again. Her breathing starts to slow and she kisses my collarbone. I tighten my arms around her and kiss her head, after a couple of minutes to recover I get up and grab us a bottle of water. When I return the bed she sits up a little, leaning against me when I sit down and lean against the headboard, I put an arm around her kissing her temple. Opening the bottle of water before handing it to her and she takes several sips before handing it to me.

"I missed you and I will do everything I can to keep that bastard away from you or from ever touching you again." I assure her.

"I know I love you Mark and I hated being away from you. I hated pushing you away all I wanted to do was run to your arms." She tells me pulling my arm around her a little more.

"I know and all I wanted to do was hurt Jay and get you away from him and back in my arms but don't worry about that now we're together now and that's all that matters." I tell her.

She turns in my arms a little and puts her lips on mine, catching my lips in a kiss of fervor and love. When she pulls away she yawns softly she looks sleepy, beautiful but sleepy.

"Let's get some sleep," I say.

She nods and I get up to turn off the light, she's under the covers when I return, I slip in beside her lying on my back and she puts her head on my chest and drapes her arm over my stomach. My arms circle her, becoming her armor and shield determined to do everything in my power to keep her from ever getting hurt again. Listening to her breathe and feeling her heartbeat against my chest soon lulls me to sleep.

I'm woken up by the feel of Clare thrashing around against me, trying to get out of my arms. She's making small painful cries and pleading whimpers, I know she's having a nightmare so I try and wake her.

"Clare wake up I have you. Clare you're okay it's Fitz I have you, Jay isn't here." I say in a loud firm but calming voice.

She keeps thrashing, more and more violently and I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself. "No I'm sorry, Jay please no!" She cries out and I feel tears hitting my chest.

"Wake up Clare, I have you," I say again a little louder.

Finally she jolts awake with a terrified gasp, her eyes shoot open and she locks her eyes on mine. When she sees it's me she lets out a relieved breath and clings to me, I kiss her forehead and assure her I'm there wrapping my arms around her a little tighter. She continues crying silently for a couple more minutes and I hold her, stroking her hair and kissing her head waiting until she's calmed down and ready to talk.

"He's not here I won't let him hurt you," I affirm.

"I know you'll do everything you can to keep him from hurting me but you won't be able to stop him every time. I can't avoid him or avoid being alone with him forever and I know we're all trying to find a solution that doesn't terrify me but I just don't see one." She laments against my chest.

"I know but I worry every minute that you're not with me that he is hurting you, that he's doing something terrible to you. I know I can't be with you every minute but I will be with you as much as I can and if I can't then Owen will or Bianca or even Adam. You're not alone in this Clare we're not alone in this but you have to let us help." I urge her.

"I know, I will," she says softly.

"You want to tell me what the nightmare was about?" I ask her.

"Jay hurting me," she says softly but doesn't go into detail.

She starts to get out of bed and I grab her hand to stop her. "Where are you going?" I question.

"I'm thirsty," she replies.

"Stay in bed I'll get it for you," I tell her pulling her to lie down again. I grab her another water bottle and go back to the bed. "Tomorrow I'll call Peter and ask for a raise and we can find out what pregnant women need and get you anything to make this pregnancy easy as e can on you, your bodies been through so much already." I tell her as she takes some sips and I lay my hand on her belly.

She puts the water bottle down and smiles at me, leaning forward to join her lips with mine for a soft and grateful kiss.

"I want to see Adam and our other friends tomorrow too and of course help you study." She says setting the bottle on the nightstand.

I grin at her, captured by her ethereal beauty and lost in her luminescent blue eyes. "Anything you want Goddess."

**Update soon with their first day off together since being back together, some more sexy time not in Fitz's apartment and possibly some Jay pov **


End file.
